You Broke Up How?

Nate

May 02, 2024 @ (United States)

Tags: B

27M have been in a relationship with 27F for a year and half now. Earlier this year I was going through a rough time, had to put my cat down and was also needing to find a job and was really struggling with my mental health. I feel as if I put too much pressure on my girlfriend to be overly supportive but at the same time I never really communicated what I needed from her. While I wish that I told her that I needed space to figure these things out, I instead told her I wasn't feeling the relationship anymore.

With our lack of communication in the relationship, we never really ended the relationship and instead went a month and a half with just texting each other and met up once or twice. I did eventually find a job, and decided to work on myself a bit more. Part of this was meeting up with my girlfriend and spilling my feelings about how i'd like to continue to work on this relationship. We agreed to continue dating, but after just one time hanging out (1 week) she told me that she wanted a break with no contact.

I respected that and we went on a break for about a 3 weeks before I eventually reached out asking where she was at with it all. She called me up, and I explained to her how I've been working on myself through therapy and hobbies, but am still wanting to work on the relationship because I knew I could be a better partner. She told me that when we hung out last she couldn't get the thought that I didn't care about her out of her head. She said that she was happy to see my working on myself but it seemed like a punch in the face that I was doing it now, and if we were to stay and work on things then these thoughts of the past me would still bother her.

I kind of assumed this was going to be where her head was at, but she mentioned that she could feel differently about it all in a couple weeks or a month. She just didn't want to drag me along, which is hard because i'm optimistic things could work. We ended the call, but never really came to a conclusion as to what we were doing. So I called her back and asked, what are we right now. Is this still a break or are we broken up? She responded with broken up. This confuses me because I asked her earlier why she hadn't broken up with me yet, and her response was that she loved me and cared for me.

Why is it that I had to almost force her to give me an answer on this? I'm not sure if I should be waiting for her to change her mind or if I should use this phone call as closure to the end of the relationship.

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Edna

April 16, 2024 @ (California)

Tags: Breakup, long relationship

We have yet to break up. Its hard but I decided to do it.. I'm just mentally and emotionally getting ready to do it...11 years down the drain because he doesn't know if he wants to be with me or not. I'm the dumb one for staying all this time and being delusional year after year waiting on him to propose. But nope. He doesn't want that. He doesn't even want to move in together... says he's not ready. See, my clock is ticking. I'm 35 now and I want a family. Yeah I should have probably left him after the 5 year mark. Maybe then I would have met the love of my life. Maybe I would already be a mom. Life is hard. I never imagined my life without him. I get so much anxiety thinking about the break up but it has to be done. I feel I won't be able to live without him but I gotta be selfish. I have to think about my future and find someone who is willing to wife me up.

Sir Jon Buynone

March 21, 2024 @ (Georgia )

Tags: Bad breakup

My ex girlfriend said she was dating another man and if I said anything I’d be beaten to a pulp.

I never called her again. Not ever.

Colson Anderson

February 28, 2024 @ (Bexhill )

Tags: Losing my love of life

I meat my partner 7 years ago as her builder after two months we became partners it took me 10 months to rebuild the house for witch I loved doing I only saw her weekends. We had a lovely house.then she moved in after a week or so we were watching tv. And then she started to rock in the chair I did not say everything I just put my hand on her back and she stopped. Then as time went on she would do mor strange things she was constantly on her phone playing games it was sometimes hard to have a conversation when it come to the bedroom it became a no go when it come to love making I only had to touch her and she would complain so I said if this is going to happen then we should stop and we did for the rest of our time together. I did not mind as sex is over important to me .I still loved he very much.we then sold the property and moved in to a new house witch I also turned in to a nice house. As time went on she done more strange things so I took on my self to look it up on the website.all the things she would do and the way she would treat me and the way she talks to me was heading towards being on the spectrum I would try and talk about it and she did not want to no and it got worse .and the last year the jungle was on tv Friday night ant and deck as from tomorrow we will be voting off so I sad who do you think will go first and she I don’t know you are watching it not me ion a bad tone of voice I had seven years of this and I sad something I should not of said I was so up set with my self for saying what I sad. It upset her so much that she wanted me out of the house.that was in October it’s turned out she is allistic so I was right I tried to talk about it but she wouldn’t she never wants to see me again. When an allistic person gets something in their head that’s it. I loved her and still do so much what I said was wrong but I had this for seven years and I would go back tomorrow if I could .we all need to talk if we don’t how can we work it all out. I’m 69 and now I have lost the one I loved so much. And I don’t want to go on anymore being alone is not good for the soul.

Joe Crow

June 20, 2022 @ (Bronx)

Tags: Long Term Breakup

I met a cousin sister in 1992. She stated that she felt so close to me. She asked me to write letters to her. She later got married and her husband wrote a letter with her. I sent one final letter and it was not answered. I sent a Christmas card. In 1995, she gave a phone call to speak to her parents and sibling. Her sister told her that I was there and handed the phone to me to speak. My cousin sister hung up on me. Her mother claimed that she called back to say that I was invited. My mother told me that this was lie. In 1994, my father visited India and told his brother that I was expecting a letter form her. There was no answer. When I visited India, her father claimed that my cousin sister was there the day before and her mother claimed that this person was interested in seeing and was looking for days off from her teaching job to be with me. My mother told me not to believe this. The next year, I went to India again to get married. I was thinking of contacting her. My mother pointed out that there was no need to contact someone who hung up me. My mother told me that the sister could easily call me if she wanted to. As my relatives kept talking about her, I could not get her out of my mind because I had a feeling that she was in neighboring state. When my parents drove me through the streets, I looked at different houses, wondering irrationally if my cousin sister was somewhere in one of those. I talked to myself angrily since my parents would not allow me to visit her. My dad would constantly break down the bathroom door to try to stop my habit. My dad would talk about how I would feel better after I got married. The reality is that I still miss the chemistry of the previous relationship. My wife listens but does not have much to say to me. On an average day, my son and daughter say nothing to me. My children act as if my dad is the dad instead of me. It have not seen any of my relatives since 1998. I do not understand why people are so upset about Trump's travel ban when I have been banned by my own parents from seeing my own relatives in my native country. I see my cousin sister in my dreams. I had a feeling that I would see her after my parents die. Now there is a feeling that I will die before them. I have not been allowed by them to leave the state of NY for the past 20 years. Even though I have a driver's license, I am no longer allowed to drive the family car. I have to accept the fact that I may never see my relatives ever again.

Maya

June 16, 2022 @ (Netherlands)

Tags: Breakup

When I was 16 I was curious about having a relationship with a boy. Any if possible, although I had some in mind for a while.

He was the friend of my brother, but also a friend in a group at school I was part of. He was nice, treated me like I was normal. I had very low self esteem. No other boy treated me like him.
I chatted a lot with him on MSN. At one point he broke up with his girlfriend and I was kind of eager to match him with someone. I started to like him and wishing I was his girlfriend. He made me feel tingly.
At one point I convinced him to kiss me. And he was very good at it.
We were not a couple at that point. He kept me on a distance, not sure what to do. Mostly because of my brother. The summer was hot and we were getting more involved. We shared many kisses and it was amazing. But still he would not want to be my boyfriend.
I was getting down, but I waited for him.
It was September when he finaly dared to make it official. My brother was kind of let down, but wanted us to be happy so he went along with it.

My relationship was in a nutshell a life changing experience, but not good for me. We had lots of sex, what kept us addicted to eachother. But he was not my match. He wanted to go out a lot, see sports and friends, while I wanted to stay at home, watch movies and such. And there was his toxic mother. In the beginning she was enthusiastic, but later on she didn't saw me as a good daughter in law. She was convinced I was not good for her son. In the end, she was right, but the way she treated me was not right. I felt worse about myself than ever before. But I loved him, so I holded on. Even when we were on a break for a month, I still went back to him. The last year of our relationship was the most miserable one. He made me feel like I was not good enough for him, because I was not myself. He was also right. I wasn't. I left all my hobbies behind and did things I didn't like. Even though he ment I was not his ideal girlfriend, I know now I couldn't match his expectations.
In the end he went out with a girl to a cinema. And that was his trigger to end it.
I was heartbroken and begged him to come back.
But he said he would not.
We met one last time and after that I never spoke to him again.

Now I can say I am grateful he ended it, but healing from this relationship took a long time for me. At first I thought about him daily, at almost every moment, and slowly that became less and less.

I met my husband 3 years later. Right after my lowest point ever. He is my match. Not sure soulmate, but I can't think of anyone more right for me. He is kind, caring, make me laugh and is my best friend. I can share anything with him. But most important: stay myself. I spent time on my hobbies and interests and he not only admires it, but stimulates me. I love him so much and I am grateful to have this other life.

From time to time I sometimes think about my ex. Wondering what my life would have looked like if we didn't broke up. Or what kind of children we would have had. I have a son now, so that is on my mind a lot. Doesn't mean I want to be his, but I just wonder. It doesn't hurt me anymore and I never want to go back.

Elizabeth

May 24, 2022 @ (Phoenix, Arizona)

Tags: Bad breakup

We got together in 2020, it was the beginning of the second quarter of my 8th grade year, I was pretty much infatuated with him to say the least. He had a girlfriend when we first met, (he was a new student at my school.) but I wasn't going to let that get in my way. (I was a shitty person back then, I know.) They eventually broke up and he and I started to talk on the down-low because all of his new friends, (who all used to be friends with me.) didn't like me, for reasons I still don't know. We got together mid November, and I was so so happy, little did I know getting with him would be a horrible mistake. It had almost been a month of being together when suddenly during school he had just broken up with me, no explanation, no nothing. I had later found out that one of his friends got an old video of me kissing another boy and said I cheated on him with that boy days after out relationship started, (I obviously didn't cheat.) I explained to him that they were lying and we got back together, that was only the beginning. Throughout the rest of our 8th grade year we were basically on and off, we got into several fights because he and his friends did really mean messed up things to me. I almost got into a fight with one of his friends because they were flirting and I texted her while I wasn't at school, he made fun of me to them while we were together, he let them call me names right in front of him,he humiliated me in front of everyone several times, and that wasn't even the half of it. We finally had a steady going relationship during the summer, (because we weren't around any of his friends.) but when we started our freshman year everything would change. The first couple months weren't bad, he started to realize how his friends made me feel, and he made more time for me, but never learned how to stick up for me. We had reached a whole year, everyone thought we were the power couple, believe me, I thought so too. We broke up in December, The night of our winter formal, I was devastated, but I couldn't handle what he was putting me through anymore. He became suicidal, which ended up making me depressed and suicidal. Everyone turned against me for breaking up with him, they got my story all twisted, and before I knew it, I was alone, heartbroken, confused and I wanted to kill myself. I was harassed daily, he ended up making fun of me again, created all these stories and I was completely miserable. It had been 4 months of not being together and we tried to start working things out and were going to try and become a couple again, he had other girls in his life, he lied but I knew he did, and for a little time I did too. Me and my ex would fight daily, and when I told him I didn't want to try with him anymore he went and told my parents all these secrets about me and I had gotten taken out of school for it, it may seem like a relief but things were starting to get better, it was the end of the year and I was slowly recovering from what had happened. While at home he would email me because I didn't have a phone, I didn't want anything to do with him but he kept messaging me, on Saturday, ( 3 days ago) he started becoming mean and aggressive, I had a break down and I was back at square one. I'm not over him, I don't think I ever will get over him, I'm not 15 I was 13 when I met him, I know I'm young but he really was my first love, and my true first heartbreak. I just want to be okay again, I still feel pretty miserable, but this story definitely needed to be shared.

Elizabeth

May 24, 2022 @ (Phoenix, Arizona)

Tags: Bad breakup

We got together in 2020, it was the beginning of the second quarter of my 8th grade year, I was pretty much infatuated with him to say the least. He had a girlfriend when we first met, (he was a new student at my school.) but I wasn't going to let that get in my way. (I was a shitty person back then, I know.) They eventually broke up and he and I started to talk on the down-low because all of his new friends, (who all used to be friends with me.) didn't like me, for reasons I still don't know. We got together mid November, and I was so so happy, little did I know getting with him would be a horrible mistake. It had almost been a month of being together when suddenly during school he had just broken up with me, no explanation, no nothing. I had later found out that one of his friends got an old video of me kissing another boy and said I cheated on him with that boy days after out relationship started, (I obviously didn't cheat.) I explained to him that they were lying and we got back together, that was only the beginning. Throughout the rest of our 8th grade year we were basically on and off, we got into several fights because he and his friends did really mean messed up things to me. I almost got into a fight with one of his friends because they were flirting and I texted her while I wasn't at school, he made fun of me to them while we were together, he let them call me names right in front of him,he humiliated me in front of everyone several times, and that wasn't even the half of it. We finally had a steady going relationship during the summer, (because we weren't around any of his friends.) but when we started our freshman year everything would change. The first couple months weren't bad, he started to realize how his friends made me feel, and he made more time for me, but never learned how to stick up for me. We had reached a whole year, everyone thought we were the power couple, believe me, I thought so too. We broke up in December, The night of our winter formal, I was devastated, but I couldn't handle what he was putting me through anymore. He became suicidal, which ended up making me depressed and suicidal. Everyone turned against me for breaking up with him, they got my story all twisted, and before I knew it, I was alone, heartbroken, confused and I wanted to kill myself. I was harassed daily, he ended up making fun of me again, created all these stories and I was completely miserable. It had been 4 months of not being together and we tried to start working things out and were going to try and become a couple again, he had other girls in his life, he lied but I knew he did, and for a little time I did too. Me and my ex would fight daily, and when I told him I didn't want to try with him anymore he went and told my parents all these secrets about me and I had gotten taken out of school for it, it may seem like a relief but things were starting to get better, it was the end of the year and I was slowly recovering from what had happened. While at home he would email me because I didn't have a phone, I didn't want anything to do with him but he kept messaging me, on Saturday, ( 3 days ago) he started becoming mean and aggressive, I had a break down and I was back at square one. I'm not over him, I don't think I ever will get over him, I'm not 15 I was 13 when I met him, I know I'm young but he really was my first love, and my true first heartbreak. I just want to be okay again, I still feel pretty miserable, but this story definitely needed to be shared.

Lira

May 01, 2022 @ (South Africa)

Tags: Bad breakup karma

Karma is real . I was in a serious relationship for 7 years then I met this other guy and cheated on my ex with this guy till I finally broke up with my ex for this new guy. So the relationship went on for 5 months after breaking up with my ex and guess what the new guy left me for another woman exactly how I left my ex. So i called my ex and man that man still loves me and said he wants us back together. So I would question him about how he felt after our break up and realized then that it was karma because what I experienced after the new guy left me is exactly what he went through.

CC

April 26, 2022 @ (N/A)

Tags: Bad Breakup, Sad, Emotional

Here's a link to they story. (trigger warning is very emotional and talks about calling a hotline for people going through a critically unstable mental state) Thank you for reading if you do writing this has really helped me figure things out and work on my mental health as well.


We had a "closure talk" I thought it went well considering it was 13.5 hours long and I though she had given me all of the answers I wanted. I just couldn't trust her word and I reached out to the person she cheated on me with who claims he didn't know she was in a relationship and said he was so sorry. There stories did have overlap it's just the frequency and timelines are slightly different. She told me it was only 3 times but he claimed it to be more. Who should I believe?