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Lonely Lifelong

April 08, 2013 @ (canada)

Tags: Lonely lifelong

This guy was with me for almost a year,but it doesn't matter to me how long or short,i loved him with all my heart and thats what matters,he was my first love and i cant express how much i loved him,what didnt i do for him....but i never asked for more then his love,all i needed was his love,but maybe he never did.

i begged him,pleaded him,but he never replied for anything,sometimes i think that the time we have been togather was a lie,we were never meant to be,i cant believe he did this to me,he has made me feel like the luckiest girl,and on the top of the universe,he made me believe he loved me like anything,but he never did,i wonder how could he do this to me?my only question is why?

Now i only have one of his most beautiful memories we shared,that reminds me of the times we had,our girl baby,she is the most beautiful thing i've seen,when we brokeup i didnt knw i was pregnant,after he left me i came to know and i was really happy,i tried to contect him,but he never listened,he doesn't even know that there is a baby,he even doesn't know where we are,i don't want him to know also,he betrayed me,cheated me.

The feeling of keeping the baby inside me was the most amazing,the way it grew,every second reminded me of him,i still do want him,really badly,lastweek my girly for the first time called dada,and tears filled my eyes,she is very alike to her father,those eyes,those soft lightbrown straight hair,she is only one and half,her small feets put little steps towards me,her every thing reminds me of him,and it makes me happy too.

i wish he would be happy,successfull,and he gets the love he wants,god bless him everyway,i loved him,love him,and will go on loving him forever,now my problem is my bestfriend wants me,but i never thought about loving anyone after him,its not that i didn't try,i did,but cant,i believe its better not to love than loving someone who'll never love you back,i feel as if you love soomeone you will pay for it your lifelong......

So though i am alone,its better to be alone,and live a lonelylife,the reason i am living only is for my babydaughter,she is my life,in my every breath she exists,nothing can harm her as long as i live,i have never let her even fall simply,i've kept her in my arms and looked after her,she is the reason i am,all i am is for her,and i will never let her go through what i went,i've promised this to my self since i knew she was within me.....

i love you my darling,my baby,my girl,my only princess...


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April 04, 2013 @ (SC)

Tags: firstlove

My ex and I met in the beginning of my freshmen year. We hated each other at first, but eventually became friends and got very close. One day, she texted me telling me that she loved me a little "too much", so I took that as her saying she liked me. Long story short, we ended up dating. We were so connected it's ridiculous. We spent almost every single minute of every week and weekend together. Of course we had to hide our relationship, but we loved each other more than words can describe. I know we did. The pressure of hiding our relationship really got to me, so we eventually ended up telling our closest friends (we shared all of the same friends). They accepted us, and basically already knew because of the love that they saw radiating from us. We had a lot of problems, though. I was a jealous beyond belief person. I had trouble allowing her to go to any friends houses for fear that she would fall for one of them and leave me. I wanted her to be with me 24/7. I know realize that I needed to lighten up and trust her a little bit more. That was my big mistake. She, on the other hand, did not get jealous enough. She would never show me any kind of affection at school unless I begged for a kiss or hug. I know she might have been scared, but god. It was a year of being together. Get over the fear of PDA. Things clashed, and we just had many problems. This past week, I guess it all just blew up and she was not taking it anymore. We broke up, and she is now gagaing over someone else. She rebounded very VERY quickly. That stings like hell, but there is no talking her into getting back together. She won't budge on this. My only hope is that she dates this new person and sees how much I loved her and that nobody else will love her that way. For right now, I'm just trying to get over it all. Fml.


Broken Angel

April 02, 2013 @ (srilanka)

Tags: broken girl

i wrote my breakup and cant see on here?????



March 31, 2013 @ (Kansas)

Tags: Breakup

I was the one who made the decision to break up. I did it out of anger and I believe what I did was just. He was rude, disappeared for a week, treated me like a doormat, broke promises, lied & cheated.

Regardless of how bad he was, he was my first real relationship. I guess this is the reason why I still think about him. People say, first love is always the hardest to get over. I believe that now. It really is the hardest.

People often say that it's often easier for the dumper, but in my case. It's not. When I ended the relationship, I gave him my side of the story, how he made me felt & how hurt I was about the way he treated me. He just argued and turned the blame on me. He implied that I was immature & selfish for wanting to break up & we ended it.

The break up was hard for me because even though it was my choice it was not one that I wanted. What he did to me broke a promise that he once made. I had to leave him to stand up for myself. It was hard because I was still in love with him. I think I still am a little bit.

But nonetheless its over now and I can positively say that I'm confident that I will meet and find someone who will treat me a lot better than he ever did. Because even though I loved him the most out of every man I've ever dated. He was the worst boyfriend I've ever had!



March 31, 2013 @ (USA)

Tags: 3

[Too Funny to Completely Delete]

My name is messiah i am a bank in texas in USA i want to testify about this great man that help me to get my love back after i have being scam by a lot of spell caster i was in love with a boy we were living happily for more than six years i day he now came form work he now propose to me so i was happy he now told me that we are going to get marry so one day he now told me that we should go and see our parent so the next four day i was surprise that my love call me and told me that i should not call him again and that he now hate me i should live him alone i now tough that he was joking so i now ask him that weather he was joking he say no that he is serious that i should live him a lone i was now cry to him that if i have done something wrong he should forgive me he i have not done anything that he don't love me that he had see is love so i now go to is house he told me that this girl that she is going to be is wife so i should live than a lone i was crying so i now contacted some spell caster who now scam me i now make up my mind that i should let be so one day i was listing to the radio when i had a man giving is testimony about this man so the next there weeks i was watching the television when i saw that a man give is testimony how this man help him to get is love back so i now contacted the great man that help me so when i now contact him he now told me that everything is going to be fine as he say the next day i now saw my fiance come to my house and told me i should forgive him that he is sorry for every thing so i now forgive him and now we are happy now we now got marry now so i want to thank this great spell caster dr ogogodu for what he did for me so people if you need is help contact him on this email XXXXX or if you want to call him this number XXXXXX
country :USA



March 29, 2013 @ (san diego)

Tags: ?

My boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me and I am devastated . This was my first relationship and I feel an immense heartache. I feel I'm to blame because of my anger and distrust when he didn't give me a reason to. People say he'll come back but I highly doubt it. It hurts everyday and its barely been a week. I know he wants nothing to do with me. I feel like this feeling will never go away. Everything reminds me of him. I still love him. If he loved me, where did that love go? Or was it never love. If I could turn back time I would because I'm filled with regret, sadness and regret. What hurts more is he's already moving on. Love sucks.



March 24, 2013 @ (United States)

Tags: not understanding, sadness.

I figure typing this out would probably do good for my heart, so I have decided to tell you all about my quite recent (only a few hours ago but still had enough time to linger in my head) breakup.

This boy was literally my childhood friend. Bad idea, I know, but I digress. He meant the world to me as a kid, and we just recently re-met each other after not speaking for years. The chemistry was sorta ... instant.

However, obviously, it didn't last.
We spent the few days we were together talking, and talking, and talking. I actually felt like he really cared about me. Just the mentioning of his name made me smile and blush.

He and I had so much in common, we still do. Our religious beliefs, music, art..
I thought I had really made it good, that for once, someone would stay with me.

Obviously that couldn't happen.
I get a text late into the night - and it said it was him, and that he wanted to end our relationship because he "wasn't ready for one." Me, usually reacting quite the opposite of how I normally would've, take the passive approach toward him, saying "I'm fine, I understand."

I later on then cried, and cried, and then something quite stupid. Cut myself. I couldn't sleep, due to the pain in my legs (one of the places I had decided to cut,) and my little depression I had going on.

So to any girl, or boy, or whomever is going through a breakup, don't get to down. We're just one step closer to finding our one ticket to happiness.
Regardless as to however they broke up with you, it happened for a reason. Heck, you never know, you could end up with them again in the future.
You just gotta wait it out and roll your dice.




March 22, 2013 @ (ukraine)

Tags: break up, cheating

We started our relationship in October, 2010. From the beginning we were extremely comfortable with each other. Needless to say, we shared a level of intimacy that seemed unreal for two human beings to share. For a little over two years, everything was perfect, a strong word to use, I realize, but there seems as though there can be no other way to describe it, all I needed was him and all he needed was me, wed spent most days together, and the time we were apart we spent communicating through one or the other form of technology, and it was never one sided. I would contact him as much as he would contact me. We became so codependent, irrational as it seems, it was hard to even ever imagine a life without him. I changed the way he thought, when I had had met him he was impulsive, to say the least. His character comprised of instinct and upbringing. He grew up in a large family, and now would be the right time to point out his islamic roots, his father has never had a father to son talk and, initially, he too, was introverted. His thoughts, suppressed. I changed that, he no longer believes in following anyone without question, I eradicated his naivety. Before making a decision, he now rationalizes the consequences, or so I thought.
Although originally from pakistan, He lives in a first world country, two years, four months down our relationship, he was invited to pakistan, to attend the wedding of his cousin brother with his cousin sister, yes, cousins getting married is a perfectly normal thing to do in pakistan, never mind the incest or medical issues raised by it. Anyway, he was to be gone for two weeks.
Upon his return, I learnt, through no help of his, that while his stay in pakistan, he had cheated on me, with one of his cousins. Although, I know it is a possibility for any person to cheat, I would never think of him cheating on me. I still have trouble convincing myself some days.
But all that is done now, we broke up in February, 2013. Its been over a month now.
I have forgiven him for what he did. I am not sure if I would ever get back with him for the only reason of the risk of him repeating his impulsive action. It is futile to talk about this as it is under no intention of his to be with me.
We see each other everyday and on most weekends too. And I see him, looking at me, telling me how beautiful i look, noticing the slightest change of my appearance, our legs touching under the table even though there is clearly plenty of room to sit separate. All this is just so natural for me, it appears to almost be innate.
Well, I suppose it doesnt help that even though we have broken up, we keep an active sexual relationship. We agreed that it was simply too good to let go and neither of us have had sex with another person after the break up, also, we currently live in a country where the chances of either of us having another relationship are slim. So for me, this set up is actually pretty good, but I suppose he wants more.

A common friend of ours is in a long distance relationship, and he currently has a girl visiting him who happens to like him, and to avoid any trouble, he asked my ex to seduce her. I presume, it should not have surprised me, but when he jumped at the opportunity, I was left speechless. I was moving on, happy even, but this little event left me hanging dry, and feelings I was too scared to confront before have managed to finally push their way through. As I type this, he is meeting her, today, for the first time, in hopes to sleep with her. And I am left, feeling alone, unwanted, insecure. I feel as though he moved on too quickly, with so much desperation, it disgusts me, makes me feel disrespected. I worry that even the times in our relationship when we were happy was also a lie. I can not live with that truth.



March 19, 2013 @ (United States)

Tags: break up, long distance

We were never really official but this feels like a break up to me. We met in November. He was a military guy, no car, was leaving in a couple months. So at first we kept it casual. When he left on holiday leave we were both expecting him to return--he never did. Even though it was just a fling, it felt so unfinished. We'd text almost every day. At one point he said he missed me, and so I brought up the possibility of an LDR. We talked about the cost and how often we'd get to see one another, but in the end he said he hated LDRs, which I interpreted as a no. Yet we kept in touch, and I wanted to see him so badly. I wanted it more than I have wanted anything, I was so sprung on this guy. So I flew out to visit him last week. But I felt like he kept holding back, which in turn made me nervous. I froze up, and the entire week was a mix of silence and awkwardness. There were moments where we'd liven up, and we were only able to soften up physically--not just sex, but touches, caresses, neck rubs. The physical connection wasn't as crazy raw as I remembered it being, but we were still good together. It was still hot. However, I think my quietness got to him, and by the end of the week we were both exhausted. I could tell that he had run out of patience, and I had tired myself out by silently worrying and wondering and panicking. By the time I left we just waved goodbye. No hug, no kiss, not even a handshake.

On one hand, while I was out there I was noticing things about him that I didn't see before, and I would think to myself, "Hmm... no, I don't think we'd work as a couple." I know that we wouldn't. We have the same interests, and we're physically compatible. We're both thoughtful and affectionate. But intellectually, we don't really connect. Maybe I'm a little too independent for him? I don't know. We have different values. I actually found him to be kind of boring most of the time. He probably thought the same of me. I don't think we're actually boring people, but we tend mute each other out for some reason. But even with all that, it was one of the hardest break-ups I've had. Maybe because I was so invested in the dream of him, in the possibility, in the romantic star-crossed-lovers feel of the whole situation. That and my ego is kind of bruised. I was in love with his body, that's for sure.

I wanted it to be him, you know? I wanted him to tell me he wanted to work something out. I wanted to move clear across the country for him. I loved it out there and would love the adventure of it all, but I'm not going to lie that having him out there with me was the top reason I wanted to move. I wouldn't be alone. I have family and friends out there, so it wouldn't have been JUST for him. I guess I could still move if I wanted to, even if we never spoke again...

I hate that I get moody and distant when emotion overwhelms me. I shut off, and in those times it's nearly impossible for me to communicate how I'm feeling. When I panicked, I would push him away. That's one of the things I regret the most. I wasn't at my best, as hard as I tried. I feel... not good enough. Disheartened. The day he dropped me at the airport I still had a 2 hour wait, on top of a 6 hour flight. And I was fighting back tears the whole time. And I still have my spells of utter sadness.

In my heart, I know it's for the best. I know that I'll get over it, like I always do. I know that in time I'll look back and be able to see that it was a fun experience, and I'll be able to see how much I learned from it all. But right now, in the thick of it, it's a struggle to get through the day. I just want to go home and curl up and cry. But I have to work, and go to class, and be mature. And I don't want to annoy my friends and family by ranting and venting all the time, so I came here... It kind of helps, sharing this with strangers. So thanks.



March 13, 2013 @ (HeartBreakHotel)

Tags: break up avenue

We dated for a little over a year. He was literally my everything. I didn't have any friends due t0 terrible experiences in the past s0 my only sociable activity was hanging with him and, on occassion, his friends. I don't even know what to tell you bout the break up. We'd have a fight over something stupid and, as usual, he lost his temper and walked away. This was something I had begged him n0t to do because it really hurt and humiliated me having to run after him even though he rejected me all the time. I made every effort to keep the relationship working. Even when he walked away, I had t0 drive after him c0s I was worried (he lives 26kms away fr0m me and wanted t0 walk home at night). While I was chasing him, he told me to leave him alone, and that he doesn't know me. I was crushed. But I couldn't keep chasing him. I had a class I was already late for (because him) and I had t0 leave. S0 I left him. Then he messaged me the next day saying I d0nt care about him and I'm proving to him how I don't love him. Then he deleted me. I called him and tried to explain but he hung up on me after saying that he doesn't care; I must do whatever I want. That hurt. I always asked him to make an effort to fix things even though he's mad but he didn't. He let his pride be more important than me. Its been difficult to let g0 but I'm doing it. I asked all my relatives to delete him and I blocked all his profiles and deleted all his numbers. He's taken me for granted for too long. And even though sometimes I just break down c0s I can't help it, I know that as long as I'm breathing, I will be okay. And he will soon realise that he lost the person who would've sold her heart for him.


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