Me and my girlfriend broke up this April after nearly 4 years of being together. Last October I was diagnosed with testicular cancer and had to undergo surgery (unfortunately lost one of my soldiers) and go to chemo. When this news came we had recently moved in together, but I had to return to my home town for treatment for about half an year. In that span of time she came to visit me 2 times and I went to visit her 2 times. Initially she was hesitant to come when I said that I will have to go through an operation. Her excuses were more than laughable - she had too much work in uni, I was too far away, couldn't we communicate through Viber, she though that this was a routine operation..... whatever that means. At least I think they are laughable, if the situation was in reverse I wouldn't hesitate to put everything on hold. So 6 month later I am fine, alive and kicking and when I return to her the first thing she literally said was ''Hi! We need to talk. I want to break-up with you''. She stated that she had learned to be alone for this time and thought our relationship was stagnating (which I have to agree with). Three-four months after we separated she has a new boyfriend. To whoever might read this - value your life, value your dignity, value yourself. For if you do not, nobody else will. If you do not live for yourself, nobody else will. I might come across as an egoist, but after this ordeal, life taught me that you have to an egoist, otherwise you will make compromises with no clear gain. God Bless and good luck to everybody. May you be spared such an experience!
Tags: bad break up
We went out for 3 years and we started going out my sophomore year of high school. i was talking to another guy at the time, but knew it wasn't going to work out. i tweeted how i wanted iced coffee and he said he was going to bring me one. So he did and i have him a hug and i felt a spark in a hug? i asked him about it later and he felt the same way. He asked me out on a date and till this day it was just magical and when he kissed me I always felt the fireworks, even with our last kiss and i knew we were going to be over. we had our struggles of course. i was insecure and suffered with depression and anxiety. i began to distant myself and hurt him when i was trying to help myself. he tried being there for me and eventually gave up. he went out with his friends and partied while i cried wishing i was making him happy. i caused his so much stress and that's what ended it. i made him heartless and made him not love me anymore. he eventually went to talking to other girls especially his so called "sister". i went through his phone and found texts between them. i cried for days and just wished that we could get back to how things were. the first time we broke up was before out 3 years when he told me he would grind with other girls especially his so called "sister" and slept in the same bed with her. i couldnt do it anymore and went crazy. he called me crying telling me he wanted to be with me. that's all i wanted, to be with him. i couldn't trust him so i would question him so much to the point where he tells me he doesn't love me anymore and he couldn't do it. i was so heartbroken but i eventually got him back. that was my mistake, i chased him even though he was the main reason why we broke up, even though we had so many problems and we added on to them. we truly were happy for a couple of months and i thought we were over the bad times and moving on to better things and building a future we always talked about. i had my own problems and made him into a guy i didn't know. i can't blame him for everything but i owned up to my own problems. once it was our final break-up he had no feelings for me at all while i was completely heart broken. i know i can never get over him because he was my first for everything. but all i can think about it that he doesnt care about me even though i did everything in my power to do everything for him, while he couldn't do anything for me. i hope one day he is happy and will treat a girl right, but i will always be heart broken over him. i know if he came back to me in a week, a month, or even years, i would take him back in a heartbeat.
A little background story. My boyfriend of seven years promised me to have the best wedding. It never happened. He promised a proposal with a beautiful ring and everything. After going through two of his sister's getting engaged and married. I decided it was time for me to leave that relationship for some one who treasured me and my heart.
We were together 18 months. In the final months she said she worried I wasn’t earning enough and doubted our ‘compatibility’ with contradictory reasons, yet would reject my suggestions to break-up (I always had to be the one to bring it up). When we eventually did it was hard, but I couldn’t take the uncertainty.
Afterwards it felt like we hadn’t broken up, talking as normal. She told me she still loved me and was upset. Her birthday was coming up and she was working nights that weekend, so I thought I would deliver her presents/belongings on one of the nights. But she wanted to see me, and said she’d been struggling after the break-up, so I agreed to come after Monday lunchtime following her final night shift.
When I arrived she came out her bedroom naked, claiming we hadn’t confirmed I was coming round (she sent an odd text that morning asking what I was up to that day, to which I replied to confirm/remind, and tried to ring four times). She grabbed a dressing gown and opened her presents. I sensed awkwardness and then it clicked; there was a guy in her bed.
I felt sick and humiliated. She said he was a locum she’d met at work over the weekend, it hadn’t meant anything, etc. I said I wanted answers/closure to move on (this upset her, yet I’d found her moving on!). She even blamed me for turning up. The next day she became remorseful and wanted to talk in person, but I wanted immediate answers – it had been an unnecessary and horrible thing to do.
A week later she called me and I apologised for how I’d reacted, even though I’d suffered a trauma! She wouldn’t discuss what happened, distressed at the slightest mention. She’d flipped the situation and gone back to claiming I was in the wrong. At the end we agreed we would meet to exchange stuff. That was the last time we spoke; 8 weeks later she just ignored me and mailed my stuff without any words.
The lesson here is that there is no such thing as a good break-up. I thought I was having one, and then she had other ideas. So, when you break-up with someone, do just that – cut contact and stay away. And speak to people (friends, parents, counsellor, etc.) – they will stop you from making things worse.
Tags: bad break-up
I was in love with my best friend since 6th grade. I was so excited to hear that he like me back. One day he broke up with me in a note not even to my face. We had been dating for 4 months. I completly went into depression after that. I started to cry and cry for hours on end. I told myself no one would ever love me like he loved me. I knew i'd never be the same without him. I can barely look at him without tears coming to my eyes. It doesn't matter if we are in middle school. I loved him and still do. I go to bed hoping someday he'll love me back. Maybe someday.
This goes out to all the people grieving over their break-up,
I wrote on here about a month ago, swearing that my relationship with my boyfriend was finally over. Crying over the fact that i was ready to get married to him, have his child and start a future. Swearing that no one could ever make the feel the way he had.
Well, long story short, i moved into his house, i had a beautiful daughter and am currently fighting for custody in order to return home. Suddenly the person I loved had become someone i dont know at all. This house has become a prison cell. And i live in constant fear that he is going to take away my most precious gift of all, my daughter. But time will pass, happiness nor sorrow lasts forever. I will win both legal and physical custody of my daughter and will finally live an independent life.
Take my story to reflect carefully on your own. Be careful what you wish for because one mans sorrow is another persons salvation.
Most people who have broken up with their partners, have tried to get back together. Whether from fear, whether from frustration of meeting someone new, I cannot say.
I have broken up with women and after some time - a week, a month - we have tried again. It’s funny how we always tell ourselves: "I will not do it again." We promise a lot of things, but there always comes a time that the old problems, in most cases unresolved or misunderstood, emerge again.
A person comes in the life of another in order to learn from one another. The breakups happen in order to teach the partners something. If "the beloved ones" do not pay attention to this life lesson, they will surely make exactly the same mistakes in the next relationships. The most common problem, I think, is that people wear a mask. You liked the external first and then looked inside the shell. Fallen in love. But to keep the attention of your loved one you’ve been doing things that in some cases, they did not like. You wear a mask, just to prove yourself you are good enough for them.
So the two lovers begin to live life together in a lie.
From my experience I would say that in a relationship, including my own, one of the partners loves the other one more. One always feels ignored by the other. You are going restaurants, theaters, film screenings, etc.., which you do not want to, but you do just to please your partner. It happens so that there comes a point where you forget who you are. You no longer go out with your friends, stay away from things that you’ve previously enjoyed and activities which made you say things like: "No one can make me stop playing on Saturdays..!"
But why does it happen so? Most likely you've been so in love with the person next to you that you were ready to do everything for him.
So you’ve got that person in your life. You’ve achieved your target by wearing the fake mask. Now what? Time passes and you start to thing you’ve made some wrong decisions. Now your friends do not call. You are deadlock. And you wonder how it came to here.
Even your mates can feel that things are wrong. You argue and quarrel very often but both don’t have the courage to admit what the real problem is. Namely, both have forgotten who you are. In order not to quarrel for "trifles", you put aside your interests to try make your relationship better. Now, you both stay at home, doing some nasty things, monotonous, you do not feel but only satisfy your needs.
And there comes a point where you say: "I cannot go on like this!”. You split with mixed feelings, without even thinking. No longer want to see the other person and you say that true love is there only in the movies. You close yourself to others.
But a month passes and you begin to feel the need to satisfy "needs." You start meeting with different people. You say to yourself, "Life is life!" Clubs, bars, restaurants, cool promiscuity. You feel the euphoria and cannot stop. The effect wears off quickly...
You meet new girl in the college or in the streets. She is the personification of everything you dreamed of. And fall in love… And history repeats itself...!
Stop thinking so much! Be yourself! As much as you like a person, above all love yourself! No, do not be selfish, but do not forget yourself. If a person does not feel happy inside, he cannot be really happy. If people could be paused in their hectic life for a moment and asked what they really love to do, to follow and achieve their childhood dreams, the world would be a wonderful place. Be the Change...!!!
I met my love of my life about 5-6 years ago but didn't know that back then. We used to chat a lot but somehow this chatting faded. About a year ago we started talking to each other again. For a while it was a normal, everyday friends talk but at one moment I felt that she was the one who was meant for me and I said I had feelings for her. She was kind of shocked but I believe in a good way. This truly was the best feeling in my 19 years. So, eventually we were together and everyday I fell deeper in love. This feeling was undescribable. I genuinely was the happiest man on earth. Everything was great and we were happy. But since we were living quite far from each other things started going not so well. We argued about pointless things, both being extremely stubborn. About 6 months our relationship had ups and downs but it really didn't matter because she was still my little princess and i loved her even more. About 3 weeks ago, we had a horrific quarrel which ended with me saying that she was disgusting. It was said because of the emotion that i had at that time. I had never felt so bad in my life. Honestly, i wanted to kill myself because of that saying. After that she obviously was angry and disappointed in me and she had all the reasons in the world to be mad at me because, after all i was a complete jerk. So i apologized about 100 times. A bit later i thought everything was okay until today. She had been aloof, she didn't talk to me as often as she used to. I thought it was about me... And then the painful reality struck. I asked why is she behaving like that and she told that... When I said that bad thing to her, she was so shooked up, she went to a nightclub, had drinks and one thing led to another.. she kissed another man. And she had held that in her all that time. I was devastated, i didn't know what to do. She was so embarrassed about what she did and didn't want to be with me anymore because of that one mistake. She isn't that type of girl who kisses random guys. She knows it and I know it. I said that i forgive her but it wasn't enough. My heart is broken, shattered to pieces. Since she was my everything, I really don't know how am I gonna live on. I truly hope that she changes her mind and that love against me is stronger than feeling guilty about what was done.
I really love her. I don't know what to do...
A few weeks ago I experienced a break-up. Except it wasn't really a break-up. The man with whom I felt I was falling in love with and whom I sincerely felt was in love with me....disappeared. I reached out to him twice within a week after his whoodini act, and have not received a response. Its as if he just evaporated. I feel like I've been imagining all the time that we spent together, all the mornings we woke up cuddling and all the amazingly passionate nights that we shared.
Where is my boyfriend????
I'm writing because I am confused and would like to share a bit of my story. I was aggressively pursued by a sensitive, attractive, fun and interesting guy. I didn't do any of the pursuing, it was all on his end. After 5 months of dating him and him telling me he wanted to spend his life with me and loved me, and took me out, and dinners, and drinks, and fun and blah blah blah....we spent New Years together and the next week he prepared this amazing "honeymoon night" in his apartment with candle and tea and incense, and everything perfect. He gave my a gift after we had sex and we cuddled and had a fun night...
We kissed in the morning and said goodbye.
I haven't heard from him since. This was a month ago. I'm totally confused and angry that I was sold on this bologna. After 5 months of dating. I don't understand. I now want to send him a message and tell him off and call him out on his lunacy, but I am stopping myself. I have so many questions. So much to say, but I don't want to give him the satisfaction of even knowing that I'm giving him one more second of my thoughts.
I seriously feel like I hate him right now. I hope he is miserable and I hope that he has the worst Valentine's Day ever. I hope he realizes what a coward he is for not breaking things off more respectfully. I feel hurt, confused, and disrespected.
I want to move on, but its hard when you don't have a real ending, and so many questions. I know I deserve more, but I was just blindsided!! I didn't even really like him that much until recently.
Moreover, I hope this experience makes me more aware in the future, and I hope I am able to grow from this. I'm happy to share my story and know that I am not alone. None of us are. There is someone better out there, but in the mean time, it is not easy.
I have yet to go wrong on a “gut feeling” when it comes to a disaster with a significant other. I somehow can sense the bomb going off but never in time to defuse it. The most recent example was by a lovely lady I was seeing for several months. She and I did not land on solid ground due to the conditions of our start. We shared many laughs, cries, and plenty about each other during that time. I was hesitant at first about her feelings at first, not knowing if they were true or just brought up by the circumstances of her previous relationship. We shared a wild, strong sexual appetite during the first half of our relationship. Facing personal dilemmas and financial difficulties; she pursued a second job in which she could balance herself with. She quickly got an offer to work a gentlemen’s club as a coat checker. I saw the potential for disaster, keeping in mind her personality, state of mind, and lack of experience with the world. I feared that I might lose her in the process to some money throwing pig. Yet I needed to keep my personal fears in check and support who I regarded as my babe with anything she set her mind to. If this one thing could break us, than all my suspicions would be true; if they don’t than we could move forward, take the leap into going public with our relationship.
Several weeks later we began to drift apart, we would ignore mutual calls and text. We did not see each other for days at a time. I began to worry about us, and so I began to call her more often, asking how she was and brought up ideas on trips we could take. It had little to no affect, as her eyes and perhaps even her heart were set on someone else whom she met at the gentlemen’s club. One evening we got into an argument; and just like that, she asked me never to speak to her again; without any hesitation on my part, I hung up. The next day I told her we needed to talk; it was important that we clear the air. No response ever came that day, or the next day, or the day after. I tried once more and she quickly delivers the blow “I need time” which we all know to be “break-up mode”. I tried and tried again to see her so we could talk, all while sensing the inevitable blow that was soon to come. I would go to her apartment late at night, and she and her truck wouldn’t be there. I knew that I had lost her at this point; or maybe just 99%. I took a chance and went to her one last time; even after she told me not to. I gave her everything that she ever wanted, with a promise to be there always. She wasn’t giving in, she could not see being with me being better than the guy that she met recently. I knew that my words were barely chipping away at her wall. She was cold all throughout this and yet at the end she hugged me and showed me signs of remorse or sympathy. Before she walked back in I asked her, if in this last moment, we could turn things around and try to work this out with a clean slate. Her lips said no, but in her eyes, I saw a glimmer of yes. Despite what I felt, she gave me the closure I had asked her for. I wished her the best, and reminded her that I would always have her in my heart. Got in my car, and I had the most difficult drive of my life.
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