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Eldon Matashaw

December 30, 2011 @ (Lebanon Missouri)

Tags: love, marriage, god

I am lost in my heart and my soul. I am very active in my church and I spend a great deal of time proselytizing to help bring others to Christ. Ever since I was 14 our minister has taken a special hand in my learning of Gods will and ways. He even encouraged me to date his adopted daughter Svetlana after he brought her here from Russia. A couple of years later, Pastor Williams encouraged me to marry Svetlana even though we were both still in school. We were married when I was 16 and she was 14. I was nervous as I was a virgin on our wedding night and I wanted to take it slow but Svetlana was very insistant that we have sex. We made love once, then she never wanted to do it any more. 6 months later our beautiful daughter Kima was born, 8 lbs 4 ounces and looked just like her mother. Pastor Williams was so helpful always offering to look after my wife and baby when ever he sent me out to spread the word of God. I had to leave school, because Pastor told me God spoke to him and said I was to be his beacon in the land to guide folks to his eternal love. I was often gone from home for many days and sometimes weeks as Pastor gave me instructions on where to spread His word. One day I was traveling near our home town, so I decided to stop in to see my family. When I went in to our trailer, I found my wife and Pastor Williams asleep in our bed. I could see they were both naked. I was so confused and I left without saying anything. A few days later, I talked to Pastor about it and he said the two of them had been praying and speaking in tongues. They had both been so posessed by the spirit, they chose to bare themselves to the Lord. He assured me that they had not engaged in fornication and that they both were just so exhausted they fell asleep. I believed him because I know he would never lie as it is a sin. Well, last week I found out Svetlana is pregnant again and her and I have not had sex since our wedding night. When I asked the Pastor for guidance, he told me I needed to "man up" and take care of my family. He explained to me that some women can carry a mans seed for years and have several children from only one mating. But then a sister in the church told me that she knew Pastor and my wife were committing adultry and that Pastor is actually the father of my Kima and my unborn child. I dont know who to believe, but I am so hurting in my soul. I think this may be the Lord testing me, or perhaps Satan trying to destry another of God's unions. I asked Svetlana to be truthful with me, and she just left and went to tell Pastor that I am being sinful in mistrusting her. I got on the internet to seek answers and somehow wound up on this site. I see so much pain here, and somehow feel kinship with it. But I also want you all to know, God loves you all, and he wants only your happiness. God has a plan. May he bless us all, Amen.


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December 30, 2011 @ (Florida)

Tags: love

We haven't broken up yet, but I'm seriously considering some possibilities.
Let's start it off with, it's been 1.5+ since we've been together. We are young, so being naive must follow dearly, "of course". He is my first of many things, and so much more. We give each other space, yet we enjoy being close. The hurt began months and months ago. Maybe 3 months into our relationship. Firstly, I don't expect any boyfriend to give up friends for me; I won't do it so they shouldn't either. Fair enough, yes? But his best friend, let's call him Joe, has called me every single insult, name, and crude thing in the books. I have cried myself to sleep many-a-times, just because of how he treats me. Every time, my boyfriend has not put his foot down. I became depressed after being called a "trampy, pathetic, useless, slutty-bitch" after so many times. My boyfriend has called other girls gorgeous and flirted back. He's started fights then made me cry. He's a great guy, he just talks out of his butt. His friend is hurtful. He can be very uncaring at times. So when is it too much?



December 27, 2011 @ (CT )

Tags: Example 1

We met at a flirt website, it was chemistry at first sight. He had told me that he had previously met someone from the same website, met up with her and had sex. This fact held me from being the first to text every single day. Hence, he was the one to sent it first, always? After two weeks of non stop texting from our personal phones we decided to meet. We didn't have sex, we made love and admitted this two days after. Again we spoke about it because he would text me first. Two days after we met he stopped calling.


Venice Beach

December 27, 2011 @ (Philippines)

Tags: example1

i dumped my boyfriend of 1 1/2 months because i feel he is taking me for granted. I wasn't allowed to go out with him because my parents dont allow me to date him and in some major stroke of luck my parents agreed and allowed him to visit me at home but guess what, i think he keeps on making excuses not to come because i guess he's not ready to meet them/is being pressured/cheating on me/whatever. I tried to break up with him twice and he didnt force me to stay the third time. He said he wont ask me to take him back but said that if i want him back i should tell him. Is it worth another shot? When? How?



December 24, 2011 @ (LA, California)

Tags: still loves me

My boyfriend and I had been together for a little over 1.5 years (my longest, most meaningful relationship to date) with nothing more than minor arguments here and there. Our main problem arose a couple of months ago: He told me he felt like crap because he doesn't have the time to put into our relationship that he could a year ago. He got a promotion since then, meaning more responsibility and longer hours at work... But he also hates his job and wants to figure out what to do with his life (He's in a band and hopes so do something along those lines). We had a talk about our lack of time together, and it turned into a breakup conversation. He said he didn't want to stay together just for me to come to resent him one day. He says he loves me and doesn't want to lose me because I'm one of the few friends/people he respects... even though he previously did not believe in being friends with exes. Problem is, I'm not okay with being just friends, and he hasn't contacted me since our brief discussion/breakup. Worse still: The day after the breakup, I received news that my dad was in the hospital for the 3rd time this year and needs surgery. So... I really needed my bf's support. I don't want to call him an ex, and this doesn't make sense because we both still love each other. Sigh. Really don't know what to do.



December 21, 2011 @ (North America)

Tags: example1

Two son's,grandbaby,Big house,cottage,condo in the south,boat,personal watercrafts,atv's,cars,income....Gave it all up for love.
My wife was more like a work partner.Did everything for me and the family. She had very low self esteem and didn't want to do anything socially just with her family.We were intamit twice in 6 years. I had a female friend I use to visit about 16 or 17 years ago strictly platonic we just enjoyed each others company without feeling any pressure. Well we ran in to each other again and a relationship developed this time, I know "shame on me". I fell in love with this woman and we have been together a little over a year.I left my wife and she left her husband. Her two daughters have adjusted extremely well. I love this woman but Im also heart broken.No one in my previous family has anything to do with me at all not my son's or granddaughter, in-laws, no one. My ex-wife has all the material items, everything including $2,000.00 I deposit in her account every month, we have never been to court or had any outside settlement input. She is still devastated and so are the kids. Im happy, extremely happy but heartbroken. Sometimes I even feel like I should take my own life just to have the pain and suffering that I have caused other people.
Thanks for a place to vent.
Happy but heartbroken, my sons were my best friends period...I miss them so much.



December 20, 2011 @ (India)

Tags: My story

Hi all, at last found a site where i can spill my feelings. It all stated 8 years back. My neighbour boy (who calls me big bro) was my very good friend since childhood. He is 4 years younger to me and was doing BDS (bachelor in Dental Surgery). He had a senior girl in the college whom he respected as a elder sister. In many conversations he used to cite her examples. I became influenced towards this girl and asked him to give me her mobile number. Upon a promise that i wont play with the girls feelings, he gave me the number. After many attempts to make the girl talk to a stranger, she finally felt comfortable talking to me. Our relationship grew on phone and though we hadn't seen each other, the inter bond kept growing. Then one fine day, we decided to meet. On the first look, it was love at first site for both of us. Whenever she had to go her college in the other distant city, i used to drop her to the next city bus stand. Shopping together, going into malls..... all was like a dream. Then after 3 years, i asked her to ask her parents for marriage as i was very keen to get married to her and so she was. She belonged to a hindu brahmin family which had a staunch belief in astrology. When her parents asked my birth details, i gave them my true details. Although i knew our horoscopes don't match, still i wanted to marry her on truth and not on a bed of lies. Her father told me that since she was a manglik (an astrological condition) and i was not she could be married to a manglik boy only. We both tried to convince them for 2 long years but they didnt agreed. Although i am well educated and placed at a high position in an MNC, they said a straight "NO" to me. She even tried suicide thrice to convince them but they didnt agreed. After that, she started avoiding my calls. As our relation was entering its seventh year, my family told me that they can'nt wait any longer and my mother being hyper tensive, wanted the things to be settled at this end or the other. Finally, we went to see her father to convince him about my love but a straight NO was his answer. I was heartbroken as the girl stopped picking up my calls. I went through a three month anti depression course. Then my family finalised some other girl for me and got me married. After two years of marriage and a son, my ex again came in contact with me. She is still single, has crossed 30 years of age and is repenting on her decision to go as per her parents decision. She says that she always loved me and avoided my phone calls just to make me hate her and to make me move on with my life. Although i have got a loving wife but the place which i had given to my ex, i wont be able to give it to anyone. I am trying to pull on with life without my wife knowing it but it is like getting born and dying every day. Now my ex's parents are searching for a boy but for her too it will be just another compromise that she will be making. How people shatter lives of lovers in India just on the pretext that the astrological horoscopes dont match is a lifelong nightmare for lovers. Neither the children nor the parents nor the ones to whom they get married ever stay happy just because of this sick mentality of horoscope matching. Life is hell without the one whom you love so deeply, whom you have visualised and imagined in each and every moment in your coming life, in all your future times. Life is truly a hell.



December 20, 2011 @ (US)

Tags: army break up

Heres a little backround first; Well I started dating this girl April first, a year ago.. This being my senior year in high school, we did about everything together.. Homecoming, prom, etc.... I gave up so much for this girl. I lost so many friends to just be with this girl. I could honestly say this was my first love, and my longest relationship so far... Since mom ey is tight with my family, I thought the best solution for me to go to college was enlist with the Army..heres where my story begins....
I had to head off to boot August 2nd.. To fort benning, for infantry training, right before I left my family and her went out to dinner and such, really had a nice time.. Everything was perfect between us, gave her a final kiss good bye, and off I went..
So basic started I wrote this girl, every single day for nine Weeks... She wrote me twice, toward thr beginning, everything seemed okay, she said she missed and loved me etc..then she just stopped. I kept writing, and wondering whats going on.. At week 9 we got our 36 hour pass. I call her up and she literally was just like "oh hey" in thr most unenthusiastic voice ever, I was so excited to talk to her, she was all that was on my mind for Weeks... And she didnt even care.... We ended up fighting over it.. I was pretty unhappy about it. I expected a bigger reaction I guess..
I ended up breaking my leg and sent home for con leave, comes to find out shes been seeing another dude, she changed her status to single on fb and starts hittin up all these guys... After all this, I still wanted to try and make it work. She acts like im the bad guy, and I deserve this... I just dont get, after dating for a year and a half, I couldn't even get a letter saying "f you, im done" or anything... She just left me in the cold..I still think about her to this day. I've been miserable since she left me, no girl has made me feel the way she did.


His Only?

December 18, 2011 @ (If only I knew..)

Tags: two years, serious, love, hurt, miss him, want him back, heartbreak, pure, happy, how

I don't want this to sound like another bad romance or break up.. Because we weren't. I know this is hard to believe but in eighth grade, I met the love of my life. Don't get me wrong, I was really young and naive. But he had me at hello. He was tender but strong, charming but sweet, and fun ut committed. He was perfect for me. My other half has finally connected with my soul. We dated seriously for 2 years. We never rushed anything, always a casual move or a serious discussion. We realized the dangers of becoming as close as we did but were so sure we would be together for years to come. He loved me enough to even sit through New Moon with me on our year anniversary. I guess I was never a great girlfriend to him but I couldn't, and still can't live a day without him. A week after our two years, we got into a fight and my friend got involved and made him want to break up with me.. We were done at that point.. We disconnected and lost each other. Tragically, I grieved for months about losing him. He was my gift and I let it go. He moved,literally, across the country and it's been 8 months since I've seen or heard from him. Recently, he popped up into my Facebook and we started talking. I realized about 3 weeks ago how much I missed him and how much I want him back.. He is still kind of bitter, but is sincere too. I'm not sure what I should do anymore about this and was seeking help and guidance from someone who has gone through something like this. I know we both messed up but I still love him dearly. And I don't want to sound like a hopeless romantic because I'm not. I gave myself to him and have lost it. He means the world to me... Still.. Thank you for reading my reach out..



December 14, 2011 @ (Clagary)

Tags: example 1

So I knew him since I was in grade five, he dated my best friends' older sister for 3 years, I never thought about him romantiaclly back then, and never really thought I would. They broke up but stayed friends, they are still friends to this day.
When I was 16 my best friend and I started hanging out with her older sister her friends (him included). I didnt really think of him that way stil, until one night my friend told me he was texting her and told her that he thought I was the most beautiful girl hes ever seen, he was shy of me I guess. (But he didnt have a reason to be)I was surprised and excited and I felt awesome. I decided to go try talking to him, when I did he still acted shy around me. But he eventually let down a little of his shyness and started talking and acting more freely around me. Then one day, we were sitting in the backyard with a few of his friends, when all of a sudden they all just started dispersing, once everyone else had cleared he took my hand and asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. It was so cute; planned out. I said yes. He was so amazing to me in our first few months, he was my first, and he didnt push me, and I thought everything was perfect. Then we started fighting. All he wanted to do was spend time with his friends and never even thought to invite me to come. I was seeing him twice a week at most, and our sex life was faltering to say the least. We broke up a few times, off and on again and again. I was the first one to break up with him, he begged me back, cried and pleaded. He seemed like he was actually sorry, so I did. About a year later (off and on) one of his friends started seeing this girl who they met one night at the bar. She seemed alright, not goodlooking by any stretch, but she had something in her personality I guess. I was going to mexico, we were all talking about it one night and this new girl was like " so are we going to be going snowboarding while our partners are in mexico?" and he kind of brushed it off, like he didnt want me to be around while they made plans. It kinda got me going, and all the times he brought her up. Once I actually was losing my mind about it and decided to ask him if he had a thing for her. He brushed it off and said she was annoying...

A few months later she and his friend broke up.

We broke up again, like normal I thought we would get back together again, we talked, made plans and he blew me off. Then one night there was a party, I had to work that night so I couldnt attend. But my friend was there. The next morning she called me and told me that he showed up there with her. I was frantic. I went over to his house. His roommate answered the door and told me he wasnt home. I asked if I could get a few of my things, she let me in.
I went into his room and ther on the floor was her bag, a pair of nasty panties and a bunch of her shit. Oh man did I ever want to burn it, but I didnt, instead I just grabbed everything I ever gave him, and left. I went on a vacation. He texted me a few months ago, and I stupidly replied trying to be just his friend. He texts me now and then telling me how much he misses me, and was stupid. But never really saying anything. Whatever, I have an amazing boyfriend now who I have been dating for 6 months and I am happier than I ever was with him.


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