You Broke Up How?

Sad Sally

May 26, 2016 @ (California)

Tags: #theonethatgotaway #sad #breakup

We met in August and had a fairytale start... everything was perfect. We are lesbians so we were already talking about how we hoped this ended in marriage. After six weeks, I found out I had a a once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity. The job was short term: only 9 months. I knew I had to take it and we were both devastated the relationship had to end. We had not been dating long enough to do long-distance (plus that doesn't work well anyway). She asked for no contact so she could get use to the dynamic between us of not dating. I moved on and lived my life, but my heart was in a holding pattern for her. The 9 months ended last week and I am back in the same town as her. I reached out...hoping that our story could finally really begin. She told me she had moved on.... she's isn't seeing anyone or anything like that... she said simply "I told myself months ago this wasn't going to happen and I have to move on and I did". I'm devastated. I really thought she was the one. Nothing happened... no fights, no falling out. We ended simply because of distance... distance that no longer exists... and she doesn't want to go down that road again.

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Alex B.

July 09, 2012 @ (New york)

Tags: cheating?

Alright so where do I start.. We met at work, the girl I'm dating now, and we've been together for about 2 years now. I am 20 and she is 18. I guess I'm writing this because I'm confused and I need to get this off my chest. 
Since we have started dating she has texted and messaged every guy at our club (over 20+). Now this would not have bothered me if she had not been writing to them nasty messages like she wants their dick or wants to show them a "good time". 
I found all this because I felt that something wasn't right and everyone at our club would tell me that I'm too good for her and she doesn't deserve me.
Well long story short I confronted her about this and at first she denied it up until I showed her proof.. So she started to cry.. A lot.. and apologized and kept assuring me that nothing ever happened.. She said she needed to do all this to feel like she has "power". At first I didn't understand until she explained to me that as a child she was sexually abused by a close friend of the family. In the end she kept reassuring me that nothing happened sexually with the people at our club. So I believed her. 
I have always been faithful and true to her because she is my first. But once I found all that was going on behind my back, the trust I had for her is broken.. I try but I can't seem to trust her anymore. But she keeps promising me that she will never do this again because she doesn't want to loose me. 
We have talked about living together, getting married and having kids but.. A part of me doesn't want that anymore.. Because I feel like it will happen again. I don't want to waste my time with someone who will not be faithful and give it her all in the relationship.
 I don't know whether I should stay with her or break up. The reason I'm contemplating is because she is going to be moving across states from me to live a "stress free" life for a couple of months. And I can understand why... her family treats her like a maid or nanny and doesn't really acknowledges her as part of there family, and they don't really approve of us being together. Things are basically not going her way. I just feel that she will mess up and cheat on me. I don't want that to happen. I can't go with her because my work is here.
So what do you guys think I should do? I need advise. I am really lost.

Rob

May 06, 2015 @ (Bay Area California)

Tags: Confused, wealth

I found a woman I wanted to marry I proposed. Everything was good, I was doing well in my career and got a promotion and I was excited to start a family and I recently purchased a nice condo.

I had immense self esteem issues throughout the engagement and dating. I had it ingrained in my mind that you need financial worth to be loved. I used pervious relationships as proof that I needed to be wealthy in order to be loved. I constantly assumed the relationship wouldn't work out and I would be abandoned for lack of wealth or cheated on. I walked around assuming people thought it was the "first" relationship I had due to my technology career.

It got to a point where I assumed I was being used for money (never knew exactly if it was true). She wanted me to buy a bigger home and fork out a lot for a wedding. It might of been her dream to have those things, but I didn't take it that way. It's like I subconsciously waited for an excuse to end the relationship. Instead of trying to work through it, I abandoned the relationship and out of the blue gave up on it. I was loved by her and her family and probably hurt everyone. It was the most rude, insecure, selfish thing I could of possibly did. I just gave up on a future, family, and love because of my insecurities and lack of maturity.

It was a Saturday and I called her and told her she didn't love me and that she loved money and to forget everything. It was the last time I ever spoke to her. Now that I look back on it, I am ashamed. I assumed she didn't love me and told her this, she refused and said she did. I told her to meet someone else that was financially wealthy enough and said to her that she would not see my ugly face again.

It's true you need to love yourself before you love another person as cliche as it sounds. Like if you don't value yourself, how do you expect someone else will. And the other "don't care what others think" is true. You can't go through life basing a relationship on what an outside force will think or assume.

If I could go back I would of handled myself very different and waited until I had my self esteem and confidence intact which I still lack.

Jenna

February 15, 2012 @ (philly, pa)

Tags: vday breakup

Its valentines night, and this site seems to be an awesome outlet, so here's my story.. Boyfriend of 8 mos and I had a mutual breakup on new years day. I instantly regretted it and wanted him back. I was depressed for 2 weeks while we tried to maintain a friendship. I then found out he felt the same way I had about the breakup, but I was slightly hesitant in getting back together because his actions just weren't matching his words.. For a whole month now he's been fucking around with my feelings telling me he wants to get back and still loves me but then forgetting to call or blowing me off. Its emotional torture hoping for something that continuously disappoints you. He finally ended that cycle last night telling me he can't give me what I need and that its over, BUT that he still hoped to get back together someday and grow old with me..this was a man I'd been best friends with for years, and who had at one time treated me like gold. I didn't hear from him today at all, and like a fool I waited to. I know its over and will never be, today was my last disappointment from him..happy freakin vday.

Nate

May 02, 2024 @ (United States)

Tags: B

27M have been in a relationship with 27F for a year and half now. Earlier this year I was going through a rough time, had to put my cat down and was also needing to find a job and was really struggling with my mental health. I feel as if I put too much pressure on my girlfriend to be overly supportive but at the same time I never really communicated what I needed from her. While I wish that I told her that I needed space to figure these things out, I instead told her I wasn't feeling the relationship anymore.

With our lack of communication in the relationship, we never really ended the relationship and instead went a month and a half with just texting each other and met up once or twice. I did eventually find a job, and decided to work on myself a bit more. Part of this was meeting up with my girlfriend and spilling my feelings about how i'd like to continue to work on this relationship. We agreed to continue dating, but after just one time hanging out (1 week) she told me that she wanted a break with no contact.

I respected that and we went on a break for about a 3 weeks before I eventually reached out asking where she was at with it all. She called me up, and I explained to her how I've been working on myself through therapy and hobbies, but am still wanting to work on the relationship because I knew I could be a better partner. She told me that when we hung out last she couldn't get the thought that I didn't care about her out of her head. She said that she was happy to see my working on myself but it seemed like a punch in the face that I was doing it now, and if we were to stay and work on things then these thoughts of the past me would still bother her.

I kind of assumed this was going to be where her head was at, but she mentioned that she could feel differently about it all in a couple weeks or a month. She just didn't want to drag me along, which is hard because i'm optimistic things could work. We ended the call, but never really came to a conclusion as to what we were doing. So I called her back and asked, what are we right now. Is this still a break or are we broken up? She responded with broken up. This confuses me because I asked her earlier why she hadn't broken up with me yet, and her response was that she loved me and cared for me.

Why is it that I had to almost force her to give me an answer on this? I'm not sure if I should be waiting for her to change her mind or if I should use this phone call as closure to the end of the relationship.

Rachael

January 11, 2016 @ (minnesota)

Tags: still love you but im being strong bad break up

me and my boyfriend breaking up is one of the worst thing my heart is completely broken. the break up took a lot from me. It took my bestfriend but it also took our late night calls just to hear each others voice because we could not sleep without hearing each other say "i love you" it took us falling asleep on facetime but he would sit their and watch me sleep because he would swear that would give him peace. it took me staring into those brown eyes that would make me fall in love and us just staring at each othe and your eyes getting watery because you were so happy you could call m yours. me laying in your arms and making me feel at home. t took away how i would shake after kissing you. the way muy hnd would fit into yours like the were a missing puzzle piece.it took away my frst true love and the boy that was always their for me. but let me tell you what this break up did not take: The ability for my love to keep growing for you my sweet boy, miss you forever

David

September 23, 2009 @ (Atlanta)

Tags: atlanta

I know you don't really celebrate 1 month of being with someone but, i wanted to take us to a nice restaurant. We get there have a nice meal , and i tell her happy 1 month. her reply 'we've been dating?'

ahhhhhhh

Abby

September 21, 2009 @ (California)

Tags: California

i just got dumped.
i'm reading break up stories to try to chear me up a bit.
we had gone out for four monthes
and he told me i was really special and he loved me alot and never was gana leave me
then he dumps me on aim.
and he was real cold about it too.
as if i had cheated on him or somthing.
and i would never do something like that.
i know this story doesn't compair to urs.
but i know how u feel.

Chris

October 13, 2009 @ (California)

Tags: heartbreaking

This isn't an especially exotic breakup, but it certainly broke my back. When I was an intern, I took a weekend call pretty early ... on a Friday night, so the amount of trauma we saw was very heavy (idiots drinking/driving, getting stabbed, etc). That 28hr shift was pretty much the worst night of my life b/c of:

- my first end of life discussion w/a family
- getting my chief to come in was like pulling teeth
- a couple of traumas came in basically DOA
- my medstudent, despite being warned that it was going to be a tough night and that he should read up on diagnosing traumatic injury, decided to read up on wiring of cautery knives ...
- ... then had the nerve to cuss me out for not treating him like he knew anything, despite him never reading, never knowing anything about patient treatment other than pain level
- the floor nurses refused to take verbal orders, making me actually walk up to the floor and write it in the patient chart (no matter if I was in the middle of a Code Blue or not)
- in fact, I got into lots of arguments with nurses about retarded crap
- the next morning, I was so busy in the ER, the oncoming resident had to see all my patients, making me look like a total douche
- I didn't sleep
- I didn't eat after lunch
- hell, I didn't even get to sit down at ALL that night

So I finally get home, almost getting into an accident on the way home b/c of exhaustion, and I get into bed and crash. 10hr later I wake up, still wiped out, hungry as hell, and figure the only thing that can make me feel not like shit is talking to my [long-distance] girlfriend of 20 months.

Well, literally just after I said the words "I don't think I'll ever have a worse night in my life," she cuts me off and says that she doesn't think we should date anymore. I was so exhausted I could barely put up a fight. I just slept for another 24hrs, and didn't eat until 2 days later, when I came back to work. Absolutely heartbreaking.

It was at that point that my realization dawned: being a doctor SUCKS; THIS is what I busted my ass, all my life, my dream, for???

John

February 12, 2011 @ (Raleigh, NC)

Tags: Break, up,

Im 15 and my girlfriend broke up with me because i told her she dint make me happy. I said mean things out of anger and i never meant them. She knows that and i told her id change if she takes me back. But she likes this other guy, but she dint break up with me for him. She wants to know if he likes her, and she said that if he doesnt she'll come crawling back to me. She wants to know if ill take her back if he doesnt like her. I want to, but when i think about them dating it makes me want to tell her no. I just dont know if ill take her back or not. And i need some advice on why i should or shouldnt. It just makes me feel like a back up. I still love her and she still has feelings for me. Shes gona ask him monday and today is saturday. I just need some other peoples perspective on this. Thankyou.