
Tags: Dirty Sanchez
I went to Spencer's last week and saw this hilarious book entitled Dirty Sanchez Nation: The Ultimate Illustrated DICKtionary of Obscene Sex Terms. I had to get it, and being the pig that I am, at least try some of the terms with the chick I've been hooking up with. So I figured start off small. I've given her facials a few times, but this time I told her it was my fantasy to pee on her (golden shower p. 40). She was a little apprehensive at first but eventually let me do it in the shower.
The next night, we got into some really hot sex and I was nailing her form behind when I decided to do the Tony Danza (p 109). I asked her "Who's the boss?" They she turned her head back and said "what?". Then I smacked her in the face (lightly) and said "Tony Danza bitch!" Needless to say wasn't happy and threw me off.
She was kind of getting on my nerves lately and I kind of wanted her to break up with me so I figured I'd go for gold. A few days later we meet up and started to have make up sex (isn't it just fabulous). So I'm banging her from behind and I figured why not be a pig. I stuck my finger in her butt. She kind of liked it. But unbeknownst to her suddenly I discovered some nuggets. Oh yes, this was the grand finale. I pulled the finger out and reached around and gave her a shit stache to remember!
There she was - Dirty Sanchez in the flesh. I was officially the biggest asshole on the planet. She cursed me out and ran out. Haven't heard from her since. This book has got me messed up. But for some reason I can't put it down and stop laughing.
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Tags: bad breakup
He broke a six year relationship after he went abroad for his higher studies.I was waiting for him to complete his studies and waiting for the right moment to get hitched.But he felt the relationship was not working anymore because of the distance and my career which he thought was not stable enough.He just brokeup one day ,it was sudden,he told that he was going around with a girl ,someone his mother chose for him because she was an american citizen.Few months after the breakup and i hear that he married the girl.I guess he preferred a citizenship and a secure life over me.Just breaks my heart to know he left in the worst possible way.An year since the breakup happened and im still trying to move on in vain.
Been dating Brian for close to 6 months. It was that time, to meet my parents. It's always a hard time for me because my parents are very protective and CRAZY. well he really hit it off with my parents. I thought wow, I'm in the clear... awesome. We get back from the little drive from my parent's place and he sits me down on the couch. He proceeds to tell me that we can't continue to get anymore serious about our relationship. My mother is kinda heavy set and he can't take that chance... what a prick!
Tags: two years, jerk, wasted time
So me and this guy had been dating almost two years and he is on the poorer side but i didnt care i "loved" him and he "loved" me so i would go get him take him home (30+ mins) and then we'd go out to eat, I'd pay, and then we would go back to my house and chill. Sometimes we'd hang out with friends but I would still have to get, pay, and things like that for him, but i didn't mind because he promised he loved me and one day i'd never have to pay for him ever again and money is just an object to me anyways so i did so lovingly until about three months ago i started asking him if he could meet 10 mins down the road or drive over because i felt to stressed because every fight started being about me not doing enough for him and i asked him to meet me half way. He started acting rude towards me like he changed he acted like he didn't care about me anymore then i told him if this was going to last he would have to meet me somewhere or drive over because i can't go all the way out there, just to make a point i do everything, and he told me why stay together because he wouldn't do that. so we took a break, and i ended ending it. Well it's been a month since the two year break up and he has a new girlfriend. and i feel used, and left for someone new because i've been thinking about how he acted towards the end he stopped caring, about me and was very weird when it came to his phone. so now, i feel like i shouldn't have let him in, i should have kept my walls up, i should have said "no" to everything we did because i can NEVER get that back and now. i just can't even imagine her saying his name, hold his hand, replacing me. so this is my first break up. and it really honestly sucks.
Tags: bad breakup, crazy woman, fake pregnancy
Well about 20 months ago I began dating a girl with whom I had a great relationship and love affair, for about a year. She was awesome, terrific to laze around and watch a movie with, terrific with my son (id say they were even good friends, I sometimes wonder if he misses her, he doesn't mention it).
About 8 months ago she got pregnant. She wound up miscarrying. After that she had some struggles and the relationship got to be not as good, she kept trying to change herself to look better. I kept telling her I always liked the way she looked. Finally she wound up in the hospital after going drinking with her friends to a bachelorette party and I had to split up with her. I just said "I'm sorry but I can't talk to you, I can't reason with you, I just left my son at his moms for 5 days sitting ina hospital to make sure you're alive and well, I can't handle it anymore" and we split.
She came over and hung out a few times, we stayed friends, she'd play words with friends with both of us everyday, all that. Then family circumstance changed a nd my son and I had to move away from the town we were in.
And thats when things went nuts. She told me she'd missed her period, I said ok. She'd gotten pregnant before, but miscarried, she sent a photo of some positive tests, so I didn't disbelieve her. I said we'll deal with this as it happens, but I'm already committed to moving 2 hours away, so for the time being thats it. While later she sent me a picture of an ultrasound with a caption like "take a look at our kids", we talked about it. A while later she sent another, a doctors report. Then she invited me to some ultrasounds, once in the middle of the week when she knew i couldn't make it as there was nobody to pick up my son, once 1 day after she knew my son and I were scheduled to fly to Cali to visit family for the holidays.
Then she started texting me stories about her amazing love life. How she was dating 2 dudes, how one was "rocking her world" so I got suspicious and just googled ultrasound pictures. I eventually found BOTH THE PIC OF THE POSITIVE TESTS AND THE ULTRASOUND PICS ON GOOGLE IMAGES.
I called her on it, she maintained she was pregnant, with twins no less. Eventually I had to call her sister, her sister said no she's not, she goes to the bar, she lives with our mom, she's just messing with you. So I talked to her about it and she responded with a pic of 4 ultrasound pics next to her ID. Except they were printed and cut with a scissors and ALSO found on the internet.
So I told her to stop it, I knew she was lieing. Then I started getting prank phone calls in the middle of the night, people with blocked numbers threatening to beat me up or "kick my @#%#", strange texts from out of state numbers. Finally someone showed up at my hotel room when I was visiting the old town, at about 9-10 am beating on the door and yelling my name. I figured it was related as I'd gotten numerous late night / early hour pranks the night before.
I wound up having to change my phone number, my email address, and get a restraining order. And she STILL, even though she has admitted to her mom and sister that she is not pregnant, and I've spoken to them about it, finds ways, through mutual friends, to get texts and emails to me about how pregnant she is.
I just hope it eventually ends. And let there be no doubt that truly "he!! hath no fury like a woman scorned" or, as it seems, no crazy like one either.
It has been the worst 4 months of my entire life, truly traumatic.
Tags: Painful breakup
I broke up with my gf 3 days ago. More precisely got dumped by her. She never showed any discomfort nor any hatred, and on that morning out of the blue, she said she wanted to break up. It is still painful trying to get over her. I really loved her with passion. But, just after the breakup, I woke up. I started thinking rationally about her. Now, what looked like the perfect girl for me from the heaven looked like an evil. She's been talking crap about me to her friends. She never loved me from the start. She hates rejecting absolutely anything so she just felt bad rejecting to my confession. What I thought was love, was all an act. She just wanted a close friend. I still can't get the handle of the fact that the "I love you" and my first kiss with her was all fake. After the breakup she, without hesitation, blocked me from social media. She never loved me and never will. Moving on is hard but I'm starting to realise she actually has lots of faults, and wasn't as pretty as how it seemed. She never had a clear goal or plan for her future. Didn't try her best in school. Just wants to stay at home and rejected a great job offer just because she was lazy. She was gaining weight but didn't do anything about it. She lacks self confidence. Her relationship with her family was really bad. In fact I can't find any pros about her. Her appearance was actually average. I could say I was charmed by her appearance and personality at first but when I found out who she really was, it was shocking and felt betrayed. I hate myself who still miss her. It's still painful to break up with her even though I knew from the early days of the relationship, she might not be the girl for me. We still carried on thinking if I worked hard it'll work out. But it's still hard when someone so close to me is now gone.
Tags: Bad breakup
I fell for this girl when I was in the Marines. We both our first everything and we were together for over 5 years. I gave everything I had to her and supported her in every way possible whether it be financial or emotional. Without me she never would have finished school or accomplish what she accomplished. Her and her friends treated me horribly sometimes and I felt like I was never on the top of her list. Then one day she said she didn't love me and moved out. Her and her family completely disowned me and wouldn't return any calls or messages. I realize now she had her claws in me deep and was a bad person who used me. She got what she wanted out of me and left.
Tags: She cheated, bad breakup, bitch
During my freshman year of highschool, I was worried about making friends, but I did surprisingly well in a social aspect. On the 3rd week of school, a girl sat right in front of me during our physical education class. This girl just moved in to my town in August and supposedly the reason why she moved is because her single father sent her here because his wife divorced him. But something strange I noticed is that her older sister and younger brother stayed with her father in New Jersey (this all took place in Miami, FL). I didn’t mind though. Anyhow, I met her in that class and after about 2 days of being just friends, we started dating. It turns out she actually had a crush on me and that’s why she sat in front of me on that day. I was, from what she said, her "first kiss" and also her "first boyfriend" and I didn't doubt it at all; in fact, I was honored because of it. Nothing could take that title away from me. For the first month, everything was fantastic. No arguments. No stress. It was all make out sessions, guitar songs on the beach, and basically, just pure relationship shit. I wasn't in love with her though, but I still cared very much for her. I put her in front of my family and friends, always got her gifts, always made her happy whenever she was down, helped her with schoolwork, family issues, depression, friends; I put everything I had into this. After the first month, she gave me a letter that said that after highschool we should move in together and get married someday, which did seem rather clingy, but I said yes because at that moment, I fell in love. She gave me a blowjob that day too which seems weird considering she had no experience before me (remember I was her first kiss and her first boyfriend). Around that time, they switched around my classes and they switched me out of the one class I had with her. The day after that, she starts talking about another guy. I didn't mind though because she had many other guy friends she would talk about occasionally (I did get a bit jealous, but it never got the better of me). Over the next two weeks or so, she started talking more about him, and eventually started texting him and hanging out with this other guy more than me. That Friday I went over her house, re-ignited the spark, and even got head. Everything was fantastic for the both of us. We were so happy; until Monday, of course. She was pissed at me for an unknown reason on Monday, so I resolve it that Tuesday by surprising her in the morning with flowers, using the cologne she likes, using the clothing she loves I wear; the small things she always mentioned. That didn't work. But on the bus later that day, I won her back. She said she was mad because I was too clingy. Ok, fair game. So I stopped being clingy. However, after two days she's pissed at me again because I was being too friendly (the opposite of clingy) and she ditched me that day. I immediately took the bus (which I almost got kicked off of), went home, wrote a letter for her, dressed really nicely, and ran 3 miles to her house to surprise her. I then fix everything AGAIN with her and we plan to meet up on Sunday (our 2 month anniversary). We decide to meet up at the mall at 7:00, go to my empty place until 11:00, and return. She ends up showing two hours late, didn't kiss or hug me or anything when I greeted her, canceled our plans, texted the guy she was obsessed about (and freaked out about the fact he got a haircut), left me with a huge bill for the food, and didn't even kiss me that night. After she left, she texted me saying that I only wanted her for sex (not true) and I go off explaining that I love her for the love she gives me not her body and etc. She then says that she loves me and is never going to leave me and we go on for a while exchanging about how much we loved each other. I was relieved. However, not even 24 hours later, she texts me saying that we should be friends for a couple weeks and then get back together. Things took a turn for the worst when that Thursday she leaves me (through a rumor nonetheless) and on that same day, about an hour after I heard we broke up, makes out with that guy she was obsessed about and texted all the time and freaked over his hair. Even though I tried to get her back with letters and chocolates and flowers and words from the heart and whatnot, it failed, and I was miserable. She said she wanted to be friends but then rumors spread that made me look bad and made her hate me. I fell into a deep depression. After we've been apart for a month, one of my best friends that I’ve known for 3 years now mentioned to me that while we were dating she sent him nude pictures of herself and even let him feel her up. She cheated on me with my best friend and then left me for her best friend/obsession (seemed kind of dumb considering said person has cheated on a lot of girls and has a face full of pimples). I still loved her though. Even though she treated me like crap, always texted other guys, showed up late and cancelled our plans I didn't care; I loved her. Unconditionally.
Today we’ve been broken up for a couple months. They ended up fucking but I’m pretty sure they’re both cheating on each other which seems pretty disgusting to me. I just wonder if it was really worth it when she slept with him… I guess I just need to learn the simple rule of “Don’t talk to strangersâ€. Good thing I’m over her.
Tags: 1st love
When I was in high school there was this guy that liked me and I could not stand him. He asked me out multiple times and I said no. I then moved away and never saw him again but did think about him. About a year after I graduated I found him on myspace and we met up for coffee and it was love at first site. He had matured (so I thought) and was super cute. We started dating and where engaged. He told me how much he loved me and would never leave me and how beautiful I was. He broke up with me after 5 months ( that seemed like a year ) he didnt even give me much of a reason other then he needed space and a couple areas we just both needed to work on to make this work. Long story short I found out that he had started spreading rumors about me to my friends while I was gone to college. I also found out that the reason he broke up with me was for my best friend who he had been cheating on me with. I got over him a little faster but after dating a 2nd guy )who dated me to make his ex jealous) I miss him alot. I moved home and am going to a new school soon and there are so many memories of us. He was my first everything, kiss, love, he took my verginaty. I miss the fun times we had and the friends I had till he destroyed that for me. I am still trying to get back on my feet but I have a hard time trusting anyone now.
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