You Broke Up How?

Gu

October 22, 2014 @ (China)

Tags: Bad breakup, love is about letting go

I consider her the most important girl in my life. Let me tell you why.

Before I dated her, I had three previous relationships.

The first I consider a puppy love; the second I stole her virginity and cheated on her; the third I thought I love her much, but objectively speaking it was too sexual. In between I was also very flirtatious. I love to fool around and usually grow an immediate attraction to those girls who are willing to talk about sex, aka sluts. I was very into sex.

After I got hurt from my last breakup, I told myself I would never believe in love again. So I decided I could just turn back into the old me and flirt around. Eventually, I also slept with someone who wasn't my girlfriend. I also allowed myself to engage in cyber sex with a girl who had a bf back then.

None of this was known about me by the public. I hide it pretty well. I live with a double face life.

All of this ended after I fell in love with this special girl. It was a love at first sight. We had been close friends, maybe even best friends more like 7 to 9 months back then. I just suddenly realize how much care she actually giving me, and how I am actually really attracted to this kind of good girl. So I started showing her my love and fortunately she also loves me. Falling in love with your best friend is just beautiful. (this is coming from a guy)

She is just a pure girl. Someone with good moral values, who can really lead you to the right path. She is also very traditional. So we agree we would have no sex until we are fortunate enough to get married. And since then, for 20 months, we simply make out and have no sex. If you ask the old me, I guess I would have been shocked to know I can live without having sex with my gf. (I rmb I was literally angry when my second gf didn't agree to have sex with me back then; and then I also was very sexually involved with the next gf; and of course that time that I allowed myself to engage in casual sex)

But of course, its more than that. I just realize this kind of life, where I follow good value, be a good guy, no double life is what I truly want. In a sense I realize I had destroyed my integrity with what I did before. All this was only made possible because of her being with me, her loving me.

At the beginning, it turned out she actually knew some of my past. And she said if I am not the same anymore, she is willing to give me a chance. I felt really touched by that. I think that is what being loved feels like: knowing you are a sinner but somehow a great girl still willing to give you another chance to be a better man. I told myself I won't let this girl down ever again.

I hope it's obvious now how special she is to me. In a sense, she was there with me at the right time. Being here with me when I sinned, when learnt from my past and mature enough to know what is right for myself and what is not.

Unfortunately, we didn't last.

The problem was that she somehow dug my old stuff out. My old chat history with my previous girlfriends or sluts that I flirted with. And because of some reason, I also had to tell her about my causal relationship (terribly so, the girl is someone she knows)

It just all started to crumble for her.

As she read those words, she got more and more disappointed at me. She is very upset and hurt for what I did. This might have sth to do with her possible bipolar disorder and family issues that has made her highly insecure. And I am her first bf too. There is a lot going on her mind: insecurity, sharing her guy with many girls, not able to trust my words anymore and so on. So she kept asking for breakups. I tried to save our relationship millions of times already. But her hatred against me and her pain just grew. So finally I agree to try and separate from her...

It's so difficult for me. It's just the first day of not talking to her today. And obviously I am dying. But once I recall what I did, and think about her hurt she is because of me, I know I am making the right decision this time to give her the same she deems.

It's time for me to brave and take care of her. (She has always been the "strong" person in our relationship more often than me) She deserves to be happy. Maybe we can get back together if she can be mature enough to let go of my past. Or maybe can't. Either way I hope she can really be happy. Because I am indeed very happy with her.

She changed me for the better. I am forever indebted to her. I also wouldn't go back to those dark alleys like I once did.

I am changed, forever, because of her. And I am hoping to show her how special and how much I love her, by letting her go...

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Bill G

September 21, 2009 @ (Cleveland)

Tags: life, ohio, breakup, vacation

My ex-girlfriend and I had been dating for six months. I was getting ready to get us a beach vacation and I came home to her and my best friend. On my new couch. We haven’t talked since… but I bet its safe to say it’s over.

Zach

February 14, 2012 @ (Canada)

Tags: Best Friend, Messy, Life Goes on,

So I've been through a lot this past year and I feel like I am falling into the same pattern. It all started when I came out of the closet in February of 2008, my best friend didn't really know how to handle it. I could tell that he really wasn't okay with it, what I didn't know was that it was because he was actually gay too. So a few months after I came out out he eventually told me he was fine with it, and it was one of the happiest moments of my life. As time passed I noticed a change in him and then in July of 2009 he came out to me, and my reaction was well a little surprised. I never would have thought he was ever gay, he tried so hard to conceal that he was gay, he even dated and slept with girls, so it took some real evidence to prove that he wasn't messing with me. So he told me about the guy he had been seeing and it was all fine and dandy. Since I had met my best friend I always found him attractive, but now he was actually available. Summer turned to fall and soon enough he told me that he wasn't gay anymore, that 'it was a lifestyle choice he didn't wish to pursue.' I didn't believe him then and I don't believe him now mostly because I've seen him on a gay dating site recently. But never the less I still really liked him. He showed me this dating site that he used to meet guys and he signed me up, even though 'he wasn't gay anymore' he always insisted that I go out and meet guys, he was rather adamant which I found a bit odd, considering he was never interested in my love life before. Things began to get messy when he started to act out and act well a little recklessly, mostly because we and all of our friends were turning 19 and could start drinking, so he'd drive drunk, and he would do just do the dumbest things. This behavior went on for a year which brings us to 2011. 2011 was a very hard year for me. One day in the middle of July and I don't know the exact date, but he came over with some stuff I left at his house and he handed the items to me. I asked what was wrong and if he wanted to get a coffee, and he said 'Why would we do that?' and I said 'Because we're friends' and he replied 'Are we?' After that he turned away and I never saw him again. A month later I found out it was because I had feelings for him and that he had told all of our friends that I was a liar and horrible friend, that I was somehow delusional and that I had gone around spreading lies that he was gay when I told maybe 2 people who didn't say a word. So in the end he turned out to just be a coward who was trying to save his own ass who didn't care who he hurt in the process. Its been 7 months and I still haven't spoken or seen him, in the end I realized he would never have the courage to tell people how he really felt about anything or that he would never have the courage to tell anyone that he was a homosexual, and sometimes I feel like I may have hindered that. But its not always going to be my fault the blame will fall on him and all the lies and all the pettiness will catch up to him and everyone will see him for what he is. I won't vilify him and he shouldn't vilify me, we were both in our own ways wrong. I don't miss him anymore, I don't even want to be friends with him, mostly because of this one simple fact, I was his best friend and he always told me we would be friends no matter what, and I think to myself;I was hi best friend and look what he did to me? Why would I want to be friends with such a selfish person? Who put his own need to hide a silly secret above my feelings, I guess I wasn't as important to him as he liked to say, because if I was he would have at least talked to me and tried to work it out. I won't ever go back because I know if I did everything would be like it was before, he wouldn't respect me and it would be a misrealble disaster.

I'm moving on and more and more I am forgeting him, it started in September when I realized I couldn't remember the sound of his voice or his laugh, then things about him started to slip, and now I am starting to forget what he looked like, I feel like one day I'll need to grab a picture to remember him.

Say

September 09, 2011 @ (Florida)

Tags: exm1

My story is a little bit crazy but i've basically been dating a guy for 2 years now and ever since we started he has been very obsessive and controlling. He would make me text him telling him where i was going and when i got there. Also, he would get upset if i went to the mall or if i dressed up pretty when he was not around. At the beginning i thought that i could some how shape him and make him more condifent of what i felt for him and that eventually he would change. I don't know what to do we currently broke up because i started my graduate program and he got upset because of how i dressed because he says it too nice. He even went to my school to see if i talked to any guys. Another thing he goes to the gym everyday but he says i cant go because there are guys. This relationship i believe is very sickning,

Lynn

January 15, 2012 @ (my house )

Tags: break up

I dont get love at all. This is for the girls, Do you ever feel like when you have the guy that you want you dont want them cuz you know you can have them? but when you lose them you want them so bad? This has to do with my break up. I would talk to so many different guys and my boyfriend asked me not to so i stoped then i started again. Then he was showing how it felt well i over reacted and we broke up then got together. A week after that we broke up then got together same thing happened over and over. Well not it has been 1 year that we have been together but last night he told me he wants a 4 sum with me my friend and my cousin now is that not messed up now how am i suppost to stay with him when he said this i love him but i can do this shit anymore :( plz plz help me out ppl

Stephan

April 18, 2016 @ (California)

Tags: terrible break up

Flew to London to meet and marry Italian girlfriend of 3 years. We both spoke and had planned to marry. We lived together off and on each in each of our respective countries. She said no, flew back to Italy and ditched me at the rail station. I am from California, depressed and stranded in the UK.

Jess

May 07, 2015 @ (trinidad )

Tags: bad break up

I was 21 when I got into an accident so I was warded for around 3 weeks at the hospital. My boyfriend came to visit me on the Monday of my final week there and spent the entire time with me, he got me fresh roses and food.

His parents and his sister came to see me and they brought a friend along. They introduced me to her and I shaked her hand. Then she turned to my boyfriend and called him "baby" something she said to him that insulted me, I hardly remember what she said. Then she hugged him and kissed him and told him how she didn't expect to see him here.

I was more shocked than hurt, I couldn't even look at them. I started crying and I turned to face the other side of the room.

On top of that, she told him to invite me to their engagement party. WTFFF IS EVEN HAPPENING? ???

I never dated since, he was my first boyfriend and I don't think I got over it yet.

Pat =(

September 23, 2009 @ (Columbus, OH)

Tags: horrible

Lost my job, can't make rent this month, and got a call the other night. she can't be withme anymore. i don't have anymore money to take her out. wasn't she a winner.

Nameomitted

March 19, 2013 @ (United States)

Tags: break up, long distance

We were never really official but this feels like a break up to me. We met in November. He was a military guy, no car, was leaving in a couple months. So at first we kept it casual. When he left on holiday leave we were both expecting him to return--he never did. Even though it was just a fling, it felt so unfinished. We'd text almost every day. At one point he said he missed me, and so I brought up the possibility of an LDR. We talked about the cost and how often we'd get to see one another, but in the end he said he hated LDRs, which I interpreted as a no. Yet we kept in touch, and I wanted to see him so badly. I wanted it more than I have wanted anything, I was so sprung on this guy. So I flew out to visit him last week. But I felt like he kept holding back, which in turn made me nervous. I froze up, and the entire week was a mix of silence and awkwardness. There were moments where we'd liven up, and we were only able to soften up physically--not just sex, but touches, caresses, neck rubs. The physical connection wasn't as crazy raw as I remembered it being, but we were still good together. It was still hot. However, I think my quietness got to him, and by the end of the week we were both exhausted. I could tell that he had run out of patience, and I had tired myself out by silently worrying and wondering and panicking. By the time I left we just waved goodbye. No hug, no kiss, not even a handshake.

On one hand, while I was out there I was noticing things about him that I didn't see before, and I would think to myself, "Hmm... no, I don't think we'd work as a couple." I know that we wouldn't. We have the same interests, and we're physically compatible. We're both thoughtful and affectionate. But intellectually, we don't really connect. Maybe I'm a little too independent for him? I don't know. We have different values. I actually found him to be kind of boring most of the time. He probably thought the same of me. I don't think we're actually boring people, but we tend mute each other out for some reason. But even with all that, it was one of the hardest break-ups I've had. Maybe because I was so invested in the dream of him, in the possibility, in the romantic star-crossed-lovers feel of the whole situation. That and my ego is kind of bruised. I was in love with his body, that's for sure.

I wanted it to be him, you know? I wanted him to tell me he wanted to work something out. I wanted to move clear across the country for him. I loved it out there and would love the adventure of it all, but I'm not going to lie that having him out there with me was the top reason I wanted to move. I wouldn't be alone. I have family and friends out there, so it wouldn't have been JUST for him. I guess I could still move if I wanted to, even if we never spoke again...

I hate that I get moody and distant when emotion overwhelms me. I shut off, and in those times it's nearly impossible for me to communicate how I'm feeling. When I panicked, I would push him away. That's one of the things I regret the most. I wasn't at my best, as hard as I tried. I feel... not good enough. Disheartened. The day he dropped me at the airport I still had a 2 hour wait, on top of a 6 hour flight. And I was fighting back tears the whole time. And I still have my spells of utter sadness.

In my heart, I know it's for the best. I know that I'll get over it, like I always do. I know that in time I'll look back and be able to see that it was a fun experience, and I'll be able to see how much I learned from it all. But right now, in the thick of it, it's a struggle to get through the day. I just want to go home and curl up and cry. But I have to work, and go to class, and be mature. And I don't want to annoy my friends and family by ranting and venting all the time, so I came here... It kind of helps, sharing this with strangers. So thanks.

Jamie

October 06, 2016 @ (Rhode Island)

Tags: young love, love, boyfriend, relationship, break up story

He was my first boyfriend. I met him in my freshman year of college and I was going through a rough time. We were both on the tennis team together, so we met at a tennis party one night and he texted me the next day after the party and we just never stopped. We went on some dates and then he told me he loved me. I was so taken aback we had only been together a couple weeks, but I was stupid and I said it back even though I didn't necessarily feel it back. He would send me long messages about how he never wanted to lose me and how we would be together forever. Suddenly, I felt myself falling in love with him. In fact, I was more in love with him than he was with me. Then the summer came. We lived 4 hours away from each other, but he promised me we would make it work. He promised we would text everyday and call and would trying and see each other. The first month was okay. I went to his house and vacationed in his town with my family. Then he went on a cruise and he had bought a text plan to text me. Then after the cruise he came to my house and I felt like something was different. Like he didn't care anymore. When he went home after that things got difficult. He wouldn't text me good morning anymore, he wouldn't send me long messages, he wouldn't call me. I got into a car accident and when I tried calling and texting him he responded with "sorry I had a crisis of my own" and it was how a contact was stuck in his eye. Then he told me he wasn't sure if we were more than sex. But I stayed with him because I was sure it was just because of the distance. We finally got back to school and when I first saw hiim (I came to help him move in) all he did was say hi and didnt bother to give me a hug. Things were fine at first, but then I could see he was gettign annoyed to see me and we would fight everyday. I broke up with him. We have a class together and still do tennis and it is so hard to see him. I tried telling him how I felt the other day and how I wanted him back and the conversation ended with him leaving me outside of his Hall crying. I was stupid and kept texting him to see if we were going to work through this and there was no answer. I have never felt so unwanted in my life. I just want to move on.