You Broke Up How?

Cc

May 23, 2012 @ (NA)

Tags: Break up

I dont know what to do. Here's my story.

I was friends with him for a year and a half before we got together. Even as friends, I knew he likes to manipulate people's feelings so that they do what he wants. He manipulated me into feeling guilty many times before and I knew he wasn't the man I was looking for. But my best friend got together with a guy I had a crush on and I was never going to get. He was recovering from his recent breakup with someone he had a long history with. So I started to go out with him.

It was my first real relationship (I'm 22). When I told my friends and family about him after a month, most of them told me they didn't like him. Some of my friends knew him from school, and warned me about being with him. I did break up with him because of that, but I also felt bad and ran back to beg for forgiveness the next day. It should've ended right there. But I was lonely and I don't like feeling I've been unfair to him.

Then for the next year and a half, we broke up numerous times and got back together the same number of times. There was never a time we were officially broken up for more than 10 days. A year ago, I told my friends and family after a break up that we were done and I never updated them that we got back together again. It was just too much drama and stupidity on my part. After most of the break ups, either of us would just begs the other for forgiveness and another chance. Because there were just too many times that had happened, I actually made a promise to myself that I won't say it again unless I meant it.

For the last two months, I feel that he's been neglecting me and mostly just spending all his time with the people at his business. I knew he really wanted make it a success, so I had gotten involved with his business too, but not helping him as much as he liked. But I was at the office ten hours a week or more until April when I had to concentrate on my exams. A few weeks ago, I realized that I'm nowhere near the top of his priorities, and he won't call or text me during the day because he's "too busy at work".

The catalyst for the break up was he promised to take me to see a movie, but he pushed it back time and time again, and I, being very considerate, allowed it. But that last time, I told him to set a firm date and time, but he just told me not to bother him about it, he's tired, etc. I broke up with him through text after I hung up. That was two weeks ago. I felt sad every day since then, I cry on and off all day and night and sometimes feel that my life is meaningless. But some days i feel fine.

I care deeply for him. We met up last week, and I pretended that I was normal and told him that we can be friends. Last night, I texted him whether I can drop by his place at night (he lives a 5min walk away) and talk. He told me not to. I guess he was right, cuz I just wanted to see him and see how he's doing. Like he isn't a bad person and I learned to be a better person because of him. I just feel that he didn't treat me right, especially in the last months. Maybe he just doesn't love me as much. But I had grown to care for him and think of him everyday during our 1.5yrs together. I think of him constantly and I get teary and cry all the time now.

I want to tell him why I broke up with him and ask why he agreed (we never had a conversation about this). I want to see how he's doing. I want to tell him that of he just changed how he treats me I would stay with him. I think all this time, I've just been wishing that he would change for me since I knew that him as himself is not who I want (am I confusing you? Lol). He doesn't contact me now unless its about his business or unless I texted him first. What should I do?

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Chris

October 17, 2009 @ (LA)

Tags: special, dinner

I went to pick up my girlfriend from work the other day. I was going to take her to a very nice dinner, I'd been saving up money for some time. I wanted to make this a really special night. I was going to surprise her, she didn't know that i was coming. I get there and walk in to get her. I couldn't find her anywhere. Someone walks over to me and say asks if they can help me. I asked her where she is, and her coworker tells me that she just left with her boyfriend. my heart dropped to the belly. I was a big fight, and she was cheating. that's how it ended for us. i'm really sad, i can't lie about it.

Jeff

November 03, 2010 @ (Switzerland)

Tags: 2.5years

Me a 24 year old male her a 20 year old girl.

We met one spring day in a park, she asked my group of friends for a pape and things started then ( before you discard us a stoners read on) after about a month of meetings and lunches she made out with me one day before i left for the army. during my year of service my weekend leaves would full of passion, after 1 year of military service we started finally seeing each other much more regularly and shared a beautiful love story for 2 and a half years. during this time she evolved stopped smoking and started dressing really good. me..well i was just me, ill admit I gently started taking her for granted and that was my first mistake.
anyway i now feel betrayed as it is one of my most profound morals is loyalty and loyal i was to the bone,
she ends up making out with another guy and im sitting here broken. i feel back stabbed not only for the cheating issue but especially cus i was there for her to set her back up on her feet during her fuck ups, got her off smoking and into studying for her future, and when i need help to set my life in order she ran off. this is probably the only rational fuel i can use to tell myself she was not right for me, but i cant get her out of my head. its been 2 weeks now sicne the break up things are slowly getting better but still far from the end of the suffering.
A part of me wants her back and yet i know its not the right thing to do.

anyway, for all of you in the same situation iv found a little comfort in thinking about how much worse a break up must be in terms of a divorce where you lose your kids and stuff aswell. all in all its not so bad.

Say

September 09, 2011 @ (Florida)

Tags: exm1

My story is a little bit crazy but i've basically been dating a guy for 2 years now and ever since we started he has been very obsessive and controlling. He would make me text him telling him where i was going and when i got there. Also, he would get upset if i went to the mall or if i dressed up pretty when he was not around. At the beginning i thought that i could some how shape him and make him more condifent of what i felt for him and that eventually he would change. I don't know what to do we currently broke up because i started my graduate program and he got upset because of how i dressed because he says it too nice. He even went to my school to see if i talked to any guys. Another thing he goes to the gym everyday but he says i cant go because there are guys. This relationship i believe is very sickning,

Jade

October 15, 2016 @ (Louisiana )

Tags: Baby break up

Wish I could make a long story short but I was with my child's father for 3 years he was like first everything , love of my life but little did I know he was cheating on me. It broke my heart cause now I have your baby and it's still not enough to at least you try to make something with with us get your family straight before moving on. So he got me a ring help me get car we took family pictures and everything. While our family picture #the(hislastname)... He then post his new li boo. We technically didn't breakup so I spent months looking for closure. But now I'm in a good place with everything but he stuck on I want him so he choose not to deal with me and my child doesn't even know her dad it's sad but touching he chooses to tend to his life and let his daughter grow in front his eyes. I think out of the whole break up that's the part I won't ever let go of because I know the feeling of growing up with no father but for him to say some of the things he says as mother of his child.. He literally watched me struggle to take care of her , just to see me hurt.. Still wanna know why he is so mad because He cheated and I basically expressed my feelings in messed up ways but I feel as if what's worse the having a baby for somebody who you loved and they never loved you back (let's talk about kick in the face , right)

Stupid Love

February 01, 2015 @ (United States)

Tags: cheater, living together, breakup, stupid, jerk

So, I was relocating closer to work and decided to move in with three of my coworkers. Two of which I knew and the third I did not know. So, third unknown guy and I meet. Instant sparks. We ended up hooking up that night, we were drunk and I just split from my loser ex. From then on we hooked up practically every night and finally asked me to be his girlfriend, swell not what I was looking for but I was really into him. The first red flag that I should have taken as BREAK UP WITH HIM was when I got a weird feeling and looked at his phone. The same night he said he was too tired to hang with me he went over some girl’s house at 3am and she could “barely walk the next day”. He said it was just a joke and they have known each other forever. I must be brain dead to have believed that but I did. After a couple of months we decide to go look at a really cute puppy. It was love at first lick. Everything was great but the lease ended soon. So boyfriend and I decide to move in together. He cheats on me… while I was visiting my nana. It was some girl from work.
The kicker is I get another weird feeling and snoop again he did not even have the balls to tell me himself (bad, I know but this guy is making me nuts). I finally get a confession out of the bastard. I forgive him, like an idiot, we cry together and spoon. I find out he is still getting kissy with her at work and even put her in his phone with a guy name. He swears he will change yada yada yada. I believe him… again like an idiot. For his Birthday I took him to a Sox game and got a hotel room in Boston. For my birthday I waited all night in the ER while he had minor surgery (not his fault) and slept in the room with him at his request. A few weeks go by and I’m asked to house/dog sit for his parents while they go away. Bored, I check my facebook messages and come across something I have never seen before.
Apparently boyfriend decided to text his high school girlfriend on my birthday that he loved her and wanted to come over to “feel better”. I don’t dump him. Yes I know I’m a dumb schmuck. I found him on tinder and he practically ripped his phone from my hands so I wouldn’t see his messages. Then I find him on plenty of fish. I ask what hes doing on there he says it’s a joke. Guess what I find… another plenty of fish profile!!! In his email I find his reply to an adult film ad saying he is the next up and coming star. I asked him to take me on a date, even a free date, never did it. I’m getting fed up at this point but for some reason, maybe it’s the dog and the house I just can’t let him go. My very last straw before plunging into irreversible insanity?
I had been feeling like he wasn’t working but he told me he was. So, being me, I call and ask for him. He is no longer with the company. I call him, he slept at his parents house, and ask if hes working today. Come on baby redeem yourself. Guess what his response was, notice a pattern here? He was like yeah I’m working. That is when I was like enough is enough… although I should have said that a very long time ago. I would have saved myself a lot of tears and heartache. It was my first serious relationship and I thought I was seriously in love and vice versa. What I don’t get is whenever I would talk about ending it he would convince me I was the only one in his world. Moral of the story, don’t be like me, red flags-know them and run like hell, and no matter what you deserve respect and trust in your man.

N\a

February 20, 2013 @ (narnia )

Tags: can't even

I don't really know why I felt compelled to do this, but i mean why not. basically, me and this guy were together for about 10 months and i've never been more comfortable around a person ever. stupidly, i thought we were "perfect" for each other if there is such a thing but i was happy and i had let my guard down... which was also stupid because i know that only leads to being even more hurt at the end. anyways, everything was great and i'll always appreciate everything he's done for me but he's now lost every single ounce of my respect. I realized he began to change over the summer and there were several red flags that the relationship was going downhill. but of course, i didn't want it to end so i dealt with more bullshit than i ever should have put up with and i realize that now. but oh well, can't change that. come september (i think..) we had both changed. for me, it was due to an excessive amount of stress. school had just started again and my family problems had begun to escalate once again so obviously i wasn't myself but i thought i had him there to fall back on considering that's what i was led to believe. we started getting into arguments more often, sometimes my fault, sometimes his; we were both at fault. but when we spent time together on the weekends, which he always kept pushing for, everything was fine and arguments were almost non existent. so of course, i wasn't thinking about how badly i was about to get dumped. not even a week before he broke up with me, he had asked me to our school dance a month away on a night we had spent outside with a fire and smores, and laughing blablabla. a day or two after that he had asked me to his cousin's birthday party, even further than a month away and i had gladly accepted both offers. this gave me reason to believe that everything was gonna settle out again, i mean who wouldn't think that right? A couple days later, he dumped me & the night before that he told me that he still "loved" me (quotes because i hate that word). As he was breaking up with me, he was crying and gave me three excuses as to why he was doing it including stress sports and family pressure and he couldn't balance me in the equation. he also dropped the "but we're best friends. we can still be best friends" bomb on me at the same time and demanded hugs from me and also said that the past two weeks didn't feel the same to him. sometime during that two week period he had snuck over from about 1 in the morning till 6. honestly, i'm still confused about everything. & it gets worse. he texted me THREE times that night asking how i was and telling me about his family arguments and whatever and i was just like um what.

AnnLandy

April 09, 2014 @ (Houston, TX)

Tags: Anti-Break-Up

My story is fairly simple. I have been seeing a man since New Year's. It got serious quickly, we were spending every night together at his house or my house., and I was enjoying the ride. At the time we started going out, I had just lost my job, and was in the middle of an incredibly stressful time. He was a nice distraction, and I admired his ability to overlook my declining finances and my uncertain professional future. Then, I go an interview for my dream job. When I told him how excited I was, he responded, "Honey, you've said that already." The day of the interview, he didn't even call or text to see how it went. When I took temp jobs to pay my bills, he got annoyed that my schedule was so unpredictable. When my car needed a repair, he offered me the money, implying that it was gift, just because cared about me. Two weeks later, during an argument, he demanded to know when he would "see that money again". Recently, he texted me that he would prefer it if I stopped calling or messaging him, leaving all communication strictly at his discretion. Then I received the following text, "I miss you too, but I feel trapped. You are incredibly intense." I blocked his calls and texts, deleted his contact information from my phone, blocked his e-mail address, and dumped our entire text thread from my memory card. I am packing his belongings and shipping them back. Frankly, I don't care what he does with the clothes and personal belongings that are at his place. The only item I truly care about is my glasses. And maybe my dog's bowls. Frankly, I have reached the point of apathy. I have just decided to vanish.

Little Ol\

February 24, 2011 @ (Winnipeg, Canada)

Tags: (example1, example2)

I had moved to Ottawa to live with my mom when I was 16. Shortly after my 17th birthday I met this guy "D" who I fell head over heels with, my first true love so to speak. Though we never really branded ourselves as an "item", we did spend a lot of time together and would make out often. We told each other EVERYTHING. This would only last for a few months as my mom announced that we were moving back to Winnipeg. I was devestated, but me and him kept in contact while I was back in Manitoba.

Fast forward four years... I went back to Ottawa to see if we still had anything left from before. We were still close friends and told each other everything, but, he was not ready to commit to me or anyone, I was crushed but wanted him in my life in some capacity even if we were just "friends". Then it happened, some one made up a story about something I did and he believed it. We had a huge fight and he vowed he never wanted to see me again. I went back to Winnipeg again with a broken heart.

Over the next decade I ended up getting married and having a son, but my thoughts would always roam to "D". Sometimes fond memories, sometimes anger, but a huge piece of my heart still belonged to him.

My "husband" turned out to be a chronic cheater and we were in the process of ending our marriage. I had gone online and ended up talking to one of my old friends from Ottawa and the topic of "D" came up and I had mentioned that I missed "D". My friend had to go offline as did I but we ended up online again later that night, this time he brought "D" into our conversation.

"D" and I talked that whole night, and every day since then. We STILL had feelings for each other and I flew out a month later for a visit. It was amazing, we laughed, we talked, we kissed, we made love, and we cuddled.

For seven months we did the long distance thing, then I took the big plunge and moved to Ottawa for the third time, this time it's been four years together, we are in the midst of planning our wedding and our future lives together.

I know that this was not a break up story per say, but I wanted to show that you can break up a few times before getting it right. A break up doesn't always have to be forever.

Jenny

January 06, 2014 @ (Georgia)

Tags: bad breakup

My bf and i went out for 1 year and 6 months. He had broken up with me twice before and i was stupid and went back to him for the third time. Anyways, recently he's been working A LOT and it started affecting our relationship. He didn't even make an effort to talk to me or anything so i finally decided to call him. I asked him what was going on and he told me he has just been really busy lately and that he doesn't have time for anything, including a relationship. He was my first love and i will always love him.