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We started our relationship in October, 2010. From the beginning we were extremely comfortable with each other. Needless to say, we shared a level of intimacy that seemed unreal for two human beings to share. For a little over two years, everything was perfect, a strong word to use, I realize, but there seems as though there can be no other way to describe it, all I needed was him and all he needed was me, we’d spent most days together, and the time we were apart we spent communicating through one or the other form of technology, and it was never one sided. I would contact him as much as he would contact me. We became so codependent, irrational as it seems, it was hard to even ever imagine a life without him. I changed the way he thought, when I had had met him he was impulsive, to say the least. His character comprised of instinct and upbringing. He grew up in a large family, and now would be the right time to point out his islamic roots, his father has never had a ‘father to son’ talk and, initially, he too, was introverted. His thoughts, suppressed. I changed that, he no longer believes in following anyone without question, I eradicated his naivety. Before making a decision, he now rationalizes the consequences, or so I thought.
Although originally from pakistan, He lives in a first world country, two years, four months down our relationship, he was invited to pakistan, to attend the wedding of his cousin brother with his cousin sister, yes, cousins getting married is a perfectly normal thing to do in pakistan, never mind the incest or medical issues raised by it. Anyway, he was to be gone for two weeks.
Upon his return, I learnt, through no help of his, that while his stay in pakistan, he had cheated on me, with one of his cousins. Although, I know it is a possibility for any person to cheat, I would never think of him cheating on me. I still have trouble convincing myself some days.
But all that is done now, we broke up in February, 2013. Its been over a month now.
I have forgiven him for what he did. I am not sure if I would ever get back with him for the only reason of the risk of him repeating his impulsive action. It is futile to talk about this as it is under no intention of his to be with me.
We see each other everyday and on most weekends too. And I see him, looking at me, telling me how beautiful i look, noticing the slightest change of my appearance, our legs touching under the table even though there is clearly plenty of room to sit separate. All this is just so natural for me, it appears to almost be innate.
Well, I suppose it doesn’t help that even though we have broken up, we keep an active sexual relationship. We agreed that it was simply too good to let go and neither of us have had sex with another person after the break up, also, we currently live in a country where the chances of either of us having another relationship are slim. So for me, this set up is actually pretty good, but I suppose he wants more.
A common friend of ours is in a long distance relationship, and he currently has a girl visiting him who happens to like him, and to avoid any trouble, he asked my ex to ‘seduce’ her. I presume, it should not have surprised me, but when he jumped at the opportunity, I was left speechless. I was moving on, happy even, but this little event left me hanging dry, and feelings I was too scared to confront before have managed to finally push their way through. As I type this, he is meeting her, today, for the first time, in hopes to sleep with her. And I am left, feeling alone, unwanted, insecure. I feel as though he moved on too quickly, with so much desperation, it disgusts me, makes me feel disrespected. I worry that even the times in our relationship when we were happy was also a lie. I can not live with that truth.
Tags: drunk dial
I first met this ex online while I was out of action. I was sick and had to stay in the hospital for some time when we first started talking. Anyway, while I was recovering, she drunk dialed me and accused me of not having the "testicular fortitude" to meet her. At which point I pointed out I still had stitches and a JP tube in my abdomen. I let that one go, as I didn't know what she was like while drunk and she apologized up and down afterword. So we were going out for over 2 years and even discussed getting married (I even bought an engagement ring, but I'll get in to that later). So here I'm working full time, going to school full time and I have another health problem pop up and need another surgery. As soon as I regained my senses after the surgery, I called her to tell her I was OK (a little irrelevant but I'll explain later). So we went out one night when I had recovered and she told me she wasn't happy and accused me of not making time for her. Keep in mind I just recovered from surgery, was working full time and attending class full time, and I admit I'm not the best academic so I take longer then normal to study. So I thought we had worked that problem out, and I had thought it was time to pop the big question. I got a ring, and had planned when to propose and all that good stuff. My birthday had came up and we had plans.....key word is had here. She blew off my birthday (her parents got me a gift, but she did squat) and it seemed like she was trying to get rid of me ASAP. Also before the sh*t hit the fan, her and a friend went out of town, and her friend drunk dialed me, pretty much telling me my then girlfriend thought I was boring. I needless to say was quite offended, and we were going to meet when she got home. Oh wait, were supposed to......until she stood me up and didn't even call to tell me there was a change in plans. Back to our dilemma.... so low and behold, she comes up with this brilliant idea to spend some time apart. During this stretch I wasn't in the best form of mind....A cat of mine for 14 years had to be put down, I broke my wrist in an accident, and the Redwings lost game 7. So she uses this opportunity to bury me about how horrible I am. Then the cherry on top comes on the day I was going to ask the question, she thinks I'm going to forget everything and be her friend. Well.....maybe after I lobotomize myself
Tags: Pathetic relationship break-up
A little background story. My boyfriend of seven years promised me to have the best wedding. It never happened. He promised a proposal with a beautiful ring and everything. After going through two of his sister's getting engaged and married. I decided it was time for me to leave that relationship for some one who treasured me and my heart.
I was dating this guy, and he was great. He was everything that i thought i ever needed. We fell in love, and we made so many plans that all sounded so great at the time. We had kind of a long distance thing going on, because he was two hours away. We didn't see eachother as much as i would have liked too. I want to be able to be with my boyfriend, and kiss him, and hug him, not just talk to him over the phone. Ya know? So i told him that. He asked me what i wanted to do, and i said i didnt know-when i clearly did. I wanted to break up until we could see eachother more often. As you can imagine, this was very hard for me to say. He was my world, and my everything. I loved him, and i guess i still do. but thats besides the point. He said he agreed, and it was the best for us. He promised we would talk everyday still, and he would always love me. I believed him. Which was dumb of me. Now, we bearly talk. It's like there's this empty space in me that just wont go away.. I miss him. Horribly. Things just arn't the same, and I wish they were. I probably brought it on myself, but.. he could have held up to what he said he would do.
So me and my first bf (now ex bf) had a long distance relationship that lasted over 2 months. We'd see each other once a week to play volleyball together and occasionally meet up for movie and mall dates. He was the sweetest guy ever and i'd give up sleep just to talk to him. He was also quite busy since he went to private school. I was devasted when we broke up but i agreed to it because i could feel that he didnt feel the same way about me anymore. After our breakup, i came upon a youtube video one day of him singing a love song dedicated to this other girl (the video was posted when we were dating). Later on, i found out that he had been cheating with me through our entire relationship with a girl that he met on a cruise and who lived half way around the world. I was furious and disappointed at him. I also found out that the reason he broke up with his other ex was because she found out he cheated on her (with the same girl he cheated on me with.) I kept that to myself for a while and then confronted him a few day ago. He simply said congrats on finding out, he did consider making a video for me at one point but singing to her was their thing and playing volleyball with me was our thing. It has been over 3 months since we broke up but he has hurt me so badly that im still having trouble recovering from it. I don't even know what to do with anymore. I can't talk to him anymore cuz i know that he won't tell me any truth and i dont want to talk to such jerks, but at the sametime a part deep down inside of me still have feelings for him. :S
Tags: propose, four years
we had been dating for four years, 3.5 years into it, we went into long distance. he moved to london. on valentines day he flew in to see me- halfway across the world- and proposed, it was so beautiful and it was the best day of my life, i had been waiting for this for a long time.
we didnt announce the engagement as i wanted to ease my family into it...complicated story....cultural/religious backgrounds are different
for some STUPID reason, i started to panic in april...i was so afraid of EVERYTHING, the huge change, the move to london, resigning from my job....everything became a huge worry, i guess i got cold feet. i withdrew from him, and he broke up with me (3 months before my move to london). he refuses to talk to me or try to work it out. when i arrived in london, i thought there was hope to reconcile, i messaged him to tell him i will be in town the next day...he posts on his facebook "in a relationship with XYZ". his status never even went to single! now...6 months later...they are still together...i am devestated...i cant see that what i did was so terrible....and he wont give me closure...he just cut me out of his life, just like that, 4 years...and im in london, alone, for him...left everything....job, friends, family...to be with this guy who wont forgive a nervous breakdown!? did he ever even really love me? why the hell would he propose!?i apologized so many times, i just needed strength and he didnt support me through it....i feel abandonded, i feel like i cant move on...he made me so happy and i miss him everyday...living this dream without him is especially difficult...i would do anything to have him back in my life.
Tags: JoLeigh
My Boyfriend and Me were together for 7 months when it all started. He found out his Uncle (which was like his dad) had cancer. I was ALWAYS there for him, and ALWAYS tried to make him feel better. I sat in the hospital with him a couple of times, to try to make him feel better. He starting acting different around me when all this happend, He was alot more mean & starting acting like he didnt care anymore. I kept telling him how he was hurting my feelings but the fighting continued. At the first of July everything starting going down hill. We fought everyday. I always trie telling him how i felt but he never listened to me. One night around the usual time he calls me He said he wasnt going to call because he was watching a movie. I just asked him If a movie was more important than me? and he said I get mad over the littest things. All I wanted was to talk to my boyfriend? The next night, I texted him and asked him if he was getting tired of me? And he said I dont know, I just need time. So that scared me and I called him. Well apparently he didnt have enough respect for me to go somewhere private so we could talk about this. Because all I could hear in the back ground was people talking & he was saying was Idk Idk Idk to every question I asked. That night I decided to ignore him for the rest of the night & the next few days, hopeing that would make him realize how much he had hurt my feelings. But that was a horrible mistake because all he did was get more pissed at me over it. I finally broke down and texted him a few days after this and all he texted back was," You know we are not dating anymore, Right?" That broke my heart. I called him and we talked for 1 hour & a half. He wanted to take a 2 week break from our relationship because he was so "stressed" & needed time to think. So I was like Okay maybe this will Help out relationship. We went 2 days without talking and i was miserable. I missed him so much. A couple of more days went by and I found out from some of our friends he had been "talking" to another girl. And he denyed it when I asked him. & even his sister said he liked her & they were talking. I told him I was done and I wanted all my stuff back from him. 2 weeks went by, and We havent talked. He has left picture comments on that girls pictures, and ive seen them. Lastnight I broke down and asked him,"Honestly do you miss me?" All he wrote back was, " Kinda, but no not really." I was crying so hard I had a panic attack. Now here I am, Alone. I try to talk to other boys but all they do is remind me of him. I cry everytime Im not with someone being occupied. I miss him ALOT, & knowing im not good enough for him to love me forver like he promised kills me every second. Im depressed & not happy anymore. Ive always been a happy person but I cant even smile anymore. Next monday we would have been together 9 months, I still feel like texting him and saying Happy 9 month Anniversary sweetheart, I love you with all my heart, but i know I cant. God makes everything happen for a reason but i dont feel that this is a blessing or to make things better. Maybe one day someone will bring back the smile on my face.
Tags: badbreakup
I had finally let go of my last serious Ex, and dated a little afterward. I made a hot or not account (big mistake.) I met this guy, he was so different from all the others, he didn't want to just meet up and have sex. We talked about God and our struggle to be better followers of Christ. We talked all the time before our first date, and I was starting to really appreciate him as a person, just being there for me. Then we had our first date, after weeks of txting. I was so nervous, he was so sweet and it had been awhile that I'd dated anyone. He came to my door and I answered, he was surprised at how pretty I was (haha.) I sat in his car and he gave me a sweatshirt of his with his interesting last name on it, we joked about it earlier. It didn't take long for us to fall for each other. The next four months, we were inseparable. Little did I know, he was crumbling on the inside. We didn't live close to each other, so every trip to his house or mine took a couple hours. I felt like it was worth it, to be around him. Apparently he didn't feel the same way...because one night he broke up with me. He felt he didn't have enough time with his friends, and he was physically exhausted. Unfortunately for me, I'm still in love with him...I wanted to marry him. I honestly would take him back if he said "Bubby, I wanna make this work with you. I'm sorry." But, in real life, it never seems to happen that way for me until I've forced myself to get over him and he finally wants me back. We were both 19, and he said that he figured out he wasn't really ready like I was...hurts like hell knowing that he still cares for me, wants me to be happy even when it's not with him...
Tags: Fresh experience 1
He didn't even tell me why it was over.We hang out in the evening at his work place(he worked at his cousin's barber shop)and I gave him a love card I had bought and written for him.He then disappeared for days and his friends couldn't tell me where he'd gone. I called him 3 days later and he spoke to me casually, told me he'd travelled out of town. He'd return the next week. I didn't call him or go to look for him where he worked; thought he'd at least call me.When I decided to call him another three days later, it was the usual casual tone, then he pretended he couldn't hear me. I was so hurt, I hung up and sent him a break up text,asked him if I 'd done sth. wrong or if he heard sth. about me.Told him I didn't deserve the harsh treatment and how I had always felt he held back his full affection from me(this was true) blah blah blah. Then I asked him to confirm our break up.BUT HE DIDN'T EVEN RESPOND.Thank God I never slept with him, but I gave him my sinceremost care.It hurts that he couldn't even break up with me openly- treated me like trash.I just want to scream in his face or sth! I desire to have his reaction, to have him show me some emotion at least!But I believe we'll have a second seating:a second stage , different terms and the tables will turn.What goes around comes around , you know ,'malipo ni hapa duniani' - 'your rewards/what you deserve will meet you right here in this world/lifetime', says the swahili saying. For now I'm Just relieved to have shared this problem. It's halved.
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