You Broke Up How?

Farrah

September 23, 2012 @ (CA)

Tags: breakup

FROM MY DIARY: MY BOYFRIEND, THE ADDICT


I need to laugh right now, even though I feel like crying. You see, the man I love is an addict. Piece by piece, he’s breaking my heart. I think this might be over.

For the time being, though, I figure laughter is the best medicine. So I’m trying to focus on the crazy man outside with the abrasive voice, yelling on the phone in a language I can’t understand. At the same time, I’m reading these break-up stories on an online support group for damaged relationships, wondering how on earth I got here.

I’m trying to remember the things I'm grateful for, which is hard to do in a time like this. My therapist tells me to do this when I feel down. It helps me shift into a more positive mindset. I need to look at the things I DO have in my life and stop focusing on what I've lost - because I can’t stop thinking about Ryan* and about how much I miss the person he used to be.

I feel like I lost him even before the new girl "friend" came along. However, I know she’s only a piece of this crazy puzzle. The old Ryan would never have hurt me that way. He never would’ve lied to me about seeing her. He never would’ve blamed me for his own mistakes.

For the past couple months, I’ve had that gut instinct, telling me something wasn’t right. I could already feel him starting to slip away, and I keep remembering the person who once loved and adored me, and who thought I was beautiful and amazing. I miss the way he used to hold me, kiss me, talk to me for hours. He said he wanted to be with me forever, and I wanted his face to be the first thing I saw each morning, every day for the rest of my life. I never told him that – but I felt it in my heart. He inspired me to be a better person. I miss that man.

When I met him over a year ago, he’d first gotten sober. Gradually, he changed into a brand new person. A light appeared in his eyes; he was truly happy. He went to AA, got a sponsor, and was taking steps toward a brighter future. What went wrong?

It hurts so badly to watch him change. I watch as he stumbles through the darkness of his addiction, sloppy step-by-step, and I can’t do a thing. The pain cuts like a knife, but I’m trying not to feel it. I’m trying to be strong. I don't even know him anymore. He can't see the way he hurts me. While he's this way, he can't see anything else. He’s locked in the grip of denial – in a world that is cold and black. Until he wants help, he won’t get better, and right now he doesn’t believe anything is wrong.

I can't go on this way with him. I love him more than words can say, but I have to love myself enough as well.

I have to realize that the person I'm leaving behind isn’t the man I fell in love with. Instead, he’s a stranger, and all I have are memories of someone I once loved with all my heart.

I watch him wrestle within his own skin, and wallowing in the pits of self-imposed misery. He can't even see what this does to me. He'll only get better when the pain of staying the same outweighs his fear of change.

Unless he’s willing to be honest with himself, he’ll never change, and things between us will continue to deteriorate.

As long as he’s in this mode, he’s capable of anything. He expects my trust without being trustworthy. He expects results and rewards without doing anything to earn them. It isn’t realistic, but he can’t see that now – not the way the old Ryan would. I guess it’s impossible to see the entire picture while you’re standing in it.

A part of me still believes in him. He pushed through this before, and he became an amazing person because of it. It's hard to watch something so beautiful waste away before your eyes. It’s even harder to walk away.

Whatever happens, I do believe that everything happens for a reason - even if I can't see what that is right now. One day, maybe I'll understand. And one day - just maybe - the man I love will come back to me.

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A

May 06, 2012 @ (california)

Tags: first, break, up

I started dating later in life, so he was my first--and this is my first break up.

We moved in together less than 6 months after our first date. We stayed together for a little under 2 years, but things started getting rocky half way through. I was feeling unsatisfied. I wanted it to work, and i would try communicating to him what I wanted. But for some reason we just weren't on the same page. By the end both of us were feeling worn out and unloved.

I was the one who initiated the idea of splitting. Maybe, immaturely on my part, I was thinking that it would spark something and we'd think, "no, I don't want to lose this person", and we'd try some other way to reach each other. But by then we didn't even know how to have that dialogue. It took me a couple of months to actually move out, but after some emotional drama, in the end he was the one wanting me to leave.

It's been about a month now and I can't stop feeling as though we failed, as though something died. And instead of just leaving it be and moving on, I keep feeling like we could have done so much better. I feel like the situation has brought me perspective, and a new sense of awareness of what it really means to be in a relationship with someone. But apparently it's too late. He says he's too tired, that he needs time to himself.

I could understand taking some time to ground ourselves, so reassess the situation. But in my mind I'm daydreaming about us connecting again like we did in the beginning, with excitement and a sense of adventure. In my mind, the second time around would be more wise, more mature. We'd have a better sense of how to approach it.

But he doesn't even want to entertain the idea, I guess. Embarrassingly, he doesn't even want to take my calls. I keep wanting things from him that he doesn't want to give. It hurts me, and on top of that I feel like such an idiot for trying still.

But I don't know how to let go, you know? I don't know how to not remember all the things about him and our past relationship without missing him.

I guess I'm not even sure if it's him I want. Maybe I am just craving a fulfilling relationship in general, and I keep trying to make him fit into that when he's obviously not the one for me.

It's still so hard to not get all emotional. I can go a couple of weeks without contacting him, but then it's like I can't stand it anymore and I just want to hear his voice. ]:

Pathetic, I know.

Brittany

February 13, 2010 @ (SC)

Tags: drinking, texting

So here is our story. We met on a dating website. After meeting him and a few others, I realized he was absolutely normal and just looking for what I was looking for. Anyway, after a month or so, we began dating officially, and he always said stuff like "You're the best," "I definitely want this to be the real deal," etc. Buttttt, eventually after like 3 months, he confessed his previous break ups were screwing him up and he no longer wanted to be with me. When this happened, he was drunk. I went to his place to discuss this stuff that happened and what all he said to me to find out he was completely trashed and didn't know why he said that stuff to me. I told him that was his last chance. We were going strong so I moved in right after Christmas. It was absolutely amazing...until last night. He had his first bottle of Jim Beam in three weeks so he definitely got drunk. After three drinks, he was drunk (which isn't normal for him). His guy friend came over to play beer pong so I had my girl friend come over. She had to go home and then the crap started. He sent me a text (by the way, he was on drink 7 or 8 by now) that said "Idk if we should be together." I'm not much of a drinker. I don't like to lose control of myself. So, I took the text and went to the bedroom. He continued to drink. I told him to get in there and say stuff to me and not through texts. Of course he wouldn't so I told him that I love him and that I know I am good for him and his son. He said "Youre a great girl yeah but I can live without you sorry." Immediately, I packed a bag and left. I don't know why in the world he pulled this stuff, but I am going to move out. He apparently doesn't want to work this out.

Riko

December 19, 2025 @ (somewhere in Malaysia)

Tags: stupid, funny break up, confusing? anger

i break up with him today, before it all happened i asked im whether he still loves me. n guess what he said? i still do but im losing it. bro you couldve told me earlier yk? i fall for u to the deepest part of my heart already n u told me shit like this...that breaks my heart so bad to the point i start thinking he might be cheating on me n i ask him to be honest with me. he told me he doesnt have anybody that he cheated with me. somehow that convince me n i do actually believe him. i still love him but because of the things that happened, i couldnt think straight anymore n decided to break up with him but we stays friend now. i still have feelings for him n it keep growing idk why. i hate this dumb heart. pls i just want peace in my mind but it seems like i couldnt move on from him i truly love him. tbh i can see it coming, like i meant the break up. because he starts to distance himself from me n ignore me most of the time. but im mad about the part where he can talk to his friends, even go out with them, laughing with joy while treating me like a piece of shit. im so pissed because of that. i hope he will look at me again, cuz i love him so much. even no matter how i hate him, i still do want to be with him because my heart decide to stay with him.

Mara

June 20, 2011 @ (VA)

Tags: bad boys, jerks, psychos

I knew from day 1 that the relationship was a bad idea. He was dating 3 girls at once, and told everyone at our job about it. Maybe I got involved just because I knew it wouldn't work, as I had recently broken up with someone I really loved, due to unfortunate circumstances. Maybe I just wanted to believe I was special enough to change him. Unsurprisingly, it was the same old story over again.

He was bad news. Carried a gun around, had an awful temper, thought he was some kind of gangster because he came from a city, even though he was now living in a rural area. Was drunk or high more or less constantly. When I found out he was cheating on me, I still hit him in the face. He tried to smash a computer monitor through my windshield and threatened to kill me and bury me in the woods for telling the other girl about what was going on. By the look on his face, which I will probably never forget, I believed him. I stayed with friends until he skipped town to go back to where he came from; I felt happily purged of my desire to see why girls dated bad boy types. He tried to call me for almost a year, after that, and left me all kinds of messages, both hateful and apologetic, all of which I ignored, until I finally changed my number, and that was the end of that.

Thadra S

August 13, 2014 @ (Minneapolis)

Tags: dating a musician, funny break up,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sz9A6jURpg

Messaih

March 31, 2013 @ (USA)

Tags: 3

[Too Funny to Completely Delete]


My name is messiah i am a bank in texas in USA i want to testify about this great man that help me to get my love back after i have being scam by a lot of spell caster i was in love with a boy we were living happily for more than six years i day he now came form work he now propose to me so i was happy he now told me that we are going to get marry so one day he now told me that we should go and see our parent so the next four day i was surprise that my love call me and told me that i should not call him again and that he now hate me i should live him alone i now tough that he was joking so i now ask him that weather he was joking he say no that he is serious that i should live him a lone i was now cry to him that if i have done something wrong he should forgive me he i have not done anything that he don't love me that he had see is love so i now go to is house he told me that this girl that she is going to be is wife so i should live than a lone i was crying so i now contacted some spell caster who now scam me i now make up my mind that i should let be so one day i was listing to the radio when i had a man giving is testimony about this man so the next there weeks i was watching the television when i saw that a man give is testimony how this man help him to get is love back so i now contacted the great man that help me so when i now contact him he now told me that everything is going to be fine as he say the next day i now saw my fiance come to my house and told me i should forgive him that he is sorry for every thing so i now forgive him and now we are happy now we now got marry now so i want to thank this great spell caster dr ogogodu for what he did for me so people if you need is help contact him on this email XXXXX or if you want to call him this number XXXXXX
thanks
ogogodu
name:messaih
country :USA

Jeeves The Creepy Janitor

July 06, 2026 @ (The washroom stall)

Tags: Super gay, Hella gay, gay, hot gay sex, anal

I know you make eye contact with me through the stall

Gütersloher Boyz Gang

July 21, 2026 @ (Gütersloh )

Tags: Rap, niggas, gangs , gangsta, violence, music

Das ist gütersloh nigguh

EponaSaysHai

February 22, 2017 @ (Covina, CA)

Tags: Worst break up ever

I fell in love with my best friend. He was a sweet and kind boy that loved to help people. And he loved me back. I knew he did because he treated me like I was special. He said things that no one who saw you as just a friend would say. 4 months of magical romance that everyone saw but we didn't want to admit was there. Finally one day we told each other how we felt and all our friends were so happy for us. I had never been happier in my life. We loved each other. At first it was cute puppy love, I guess you could say, but when my growing depression finally got ahead of me, we found out how much we truly loved each other. He cared for me unlike anyone I've known. The puppy love became a romance and passion that we had building up inside of us for months. We were completely in love with each other even if we both hated ourselves. We were each other's reasons for living. And I can't tell you how many times we were so close to giving up but saved each other. I'll never forget that day I wanted to kill myself and he told me that he loved me and I meant everything to him. That I changed his life for the better. That summer, 3 months after we first confessed to each other, was depressing because we missed each other dearly. School was the only time we got to see each other. Then one day I got my phone taken away. The only way I could contact him was through text. For 2 weeks I sometimes secretly went in my phone to text him. It was brief but those moments were everything to me. Then... 5 days after our 5 month anniversary, I got my phone back. I texted him happily and he replied. But he was depressed. I asked him why and he refused to tell me. I hadn't talked to him in 3 days at the time so anything could've happened. I finally got him to tell me what was wrong and he said.... "I think I'm gay..." I was in shock. And when he said he liked me as a friend, I wanted to throw my phone and just kill myself. I struggled to stay calm for his sake. If I showed how much it hurt, he would regret telling me even more. I told him I needed to be alone. I was in public, totally unprepared for any tragic news. But slowly as reality sunk in, I couldn't hold back against the tears that threatened to pour. I excused myself to the restroom where I cried so hard I couldn't breathe because I tried to stay quiet. I didn't feel anything but pain and sadness. For the next few weeks, he begged me to move on. He was extremely sad and was angry at himself for breaking my heart. He even said he wish had never said anything at all. But I would've found out one day. He wouldn't love me anymore and I would be able to tell. School started and we were friends who pretended we were fine. No one asked about our relationship. Only one person did but we ignored them. It's funny. A lot of people keep asking us if we are dating. No one asked when we actually were. He isn't the same anymore. He isn't positive anymore. He shuts down when he's sad and only talks to his therapist. He used to talk to me. I dont know what we are at the moment. Sometimes I see my boyfriend again in the way he looks at me. Sometimes I see my best friend. But sometimes I see my ex boyfriend, the broken shell of the person I once knew and loved. I still love him to this day.

If you ever hear about a break up where the boyfriend finds out he's gay and the girlfriend is sad, don't laugh. It sounds humorous, but when it becomes your reality and the thing that tears you apart everyday, you won't be laughing. In these cases, there's little to no chance of getting back together. And it hurts like hell.