Searching for "pain"


100 Results For 'pain'

Jason Hare

September 21, 2017 @ (Missouri )

Tags: Lost my family and my home and was left broken hearted


Was the one woman who meant the world to me. We were together for 4 years when we were younger. She cheated on me twice and I tried to make it work. We even had a daughter together. I left her on my daughter's first birthday. I was broken at that point and couldn't fix myself. It hurt like hell to leave both her and my child. Five years later she gets a hold of me lol for what I thought was because she missed me and wanted to try again. In reality it was to tell me I was going be paying child support. We took our daughter and her other 2 kids to the zoo. Was beyond happy to be able to see my little girl. After that we just got back together. It was the happiest day to finally be able to hold her close after so many years. I worked hard to make us a livable home. Dang near rebuilt it by myself. Started getting better things for our home new appliances. Her second daughter had kidney problems and we had to take 5 hr trips and got her on a donor list. I treated the other 2 like my own. I actually loved her more and more as the years went by. We were a family and I worked a lot to pay for everything. Own my own company so I had to stay out of town a lot. I was always faithful and loyal. My mom got cancer and almost died. Stress for me was huge but I struggled on. 7 years we were together and I thought we were doing good. I took my mom to see my older brother a few states away being that she might not see him again. While we were there I sold a job to a neighbor of my brothers. I drove home with my mom. Mind you i had to work 30 days straight to pay for the trip. Got home worked another 30 days to make trip back to do job I sold. Now this is when I lost everything and never even knew that she had been with another man while I was gone. She moved in with him and never once told me what was going on. Apparently they got together just days before I took my mom to see my brother.Years of bonds with children and I thought with her. The day I came home I called her because naturally I had been away and missed her and the kids. That's when I was told that she had a new bf and that I had lost everything. As stupid as I am I thought she was joking. We had promised to breakup if we found someone else we wanted to be with. So now shattered and alone I realized that I was only the one that was truly in love. I asked her why she didn't breakup with me like we promised. I was told that the 7 years we lived together and everything we had gone through that we were never really a couple. So for 7 years I was nothing not a friend not a lover. Not a family so what was I then? I was ghosted after all that time. I was used to fix up the house. Pay for the trips to the doctor. I paid bills as a couple. That was 2 years ago and I'm still broken inside. I'm not sure if I can ever trust anyone ever again. I'm not sure but I don't know how you just leave someone that you were supposed to love. Then to realize I didn't even warrant being broken up with. I meant nothing at all that's the worst part. How do you do that knowing that your hurting someone so deep and not even flinch. So that's my story how that what you think you have can actually be completely different from what is really there. In my case I loved and I meant nothing at all. When I met her I was sure I had found the one person who was put here for me. I was wrong I did learn how painful it is to love and not to be loved in return. Years of lies. I'm not sure how to say I love you and it mean nothing. When I said it I meant it with all my heart. To her it was just meaningless. Karma though always comes around.


       

Rajesh

September 20, 2017 @ (India)

Tags: Bad Rebound Break up


Hi Guys, Let me share my story
Myself RJ(28) working in a software company as Team Lead and my ex(23.9) she joined as a fresher in our company recently and started liking from the first day after seeing her. After a casual talk for 2-3 weeks i got her contact no and we went out after office and things started from there and she used to say " I really want to be with you all the time" and later one day she came to my room and we drank and had fun time.She said that she loves me and want's to marry me but i tried to tell her that it may be very difficult because for the fact that we are from different regions like i am from south and she is from north (language,custom difference) and there is age gap of 5 years and i also told her it is just an attraction but she keep on saying that i love you and will marry you and will try to convince her parents . I gave my 100% commitment since then and things went pretty well for 5 months but from jun end she started behaving different and phone calls ,chats and meetings got reduced day to day .I can see the change and started asking what's happening and she used to say that "Her parents started looking for a match", i told her to talk to about us and she said she will talk to them in Oct (she is going to home for Festival) .All of a sudden one fine night she sent breakup message saying " Her family financial condition is not good" and she don't want her father to take any tension because of the relation. I tried to convince her that i will to talk to her family but she is no way interested, I asked her if there any third person came in between and she said "no" . For 1 month i tried to sort out what's happening but one day i went out with our mutual Colleagues to a trip (she didn't came) where i came to know that she had a boyfriend (College break up) and she is still in contact with that guy and he came into her life again and also she showed their close pics to one of my mutual colleague and asked him to help her in talking to her parents to convince them and he talked to her Ex as well. I was literally shocked after hearing that news and the next day me and the colleagues asked about the boyfriend and she was very angry and started shouting on me saying " I just made up this story to cover our relationship in office and said i don't want to see your face again" and said she is getting married(LIE).But from then she stopped talking to me saying that i took her respect in front her colleagues and she said " i made her a bitch" in front of them. All i tried is to make her to understand how much i like her and how much i wanted her in my life . Now day to day its very clear that all the time she just made time pass with me which i thought as love and she stopped talking to me and don't even like to see my face because i exposed about our relation to colleagues which they don't know for last 5 months. We are staying in the same office ,same floor and same section and it is not easy for me to say that daily seeing her and listening her voice all the time and staying calm. She is with her ex now who she broke up with before and all the time she lied ( my understanding) to me .... I came to know that she is in contact with him since beginning but she cleared her traces everywhere and didn't gave a chance to doubt her actions.In office she talks to everyone and being close to a guy who i was in secured off before . I hope now u understand my situation and please suggest how to stay calm in the office. I never said i love you or i will marry you she started the things and now she just broke my heart for her ex boyfriend . I did nothing wrong even she knows that but i am going through a lot of pain now .The worst part is " His ex and me we both don't know that we exist in each other life's " she is too brilliant and hided everything from both of us (me and her ex)


       

Gabor Barna

April 02, 2017 @ (Maryland)

Tags: Domestic Abuse


I’m writing today to discuss how my ex broke up with me. I want to start of by saying, I have made a video. It is very lengthy, but it discusses bullying and domestic abuse in it. I show my personal relationship, and why I should have left it because of how much pain it caused in the long run. If you know anybody out there that is a victim of domestic abuse, please show them this video. https://youtu.be/cia0a-AczXs So, I met a girl online. I drove 50 miles to meet her. She had never had a boyfriend before, so I became her first. She grew up in a very abusive household. Eventually the way her dad treated me is how she would treat me verbally. I lived in the abuse because I loved her, and she would always break down and say she was sorry. Eventually things would get so bad she would split from me. Now, she does drugs, heavy drinking, and one night stands. She told me how much better her one night stand within an hour of meeting a guy, was better than I ever was. I gave her a ring the night she lost her innocence, and it hurts for her to say that. She called me derogatory names, etc. Do I love her, yes. And I know she is only following a cycle by an abusive father that has hit and choked her, but I should have left the relationship when she first started putting me down. I am a guy that has been bullied and abused a lot in life. Partly because I have dog scars on my face, and she did call me ugly and things like that for it. She was always aggressive and wanted to fight people. She beat up one grandma where she was detained for it, and almost got into a fight with her roommate at college where the roommate was put with another girl and she was left to be alone. If you know someone that loves a self destructive person, and you want them to understand they have to leave them, watch this video. https://youtu.be/cia0a-AczXs


       

I Fell Out Of Love (The Scariest Thing You Can Do)

March 12, 2017 @ (U.S)

Tags: So sad it\'s almost funny, sad break up, don\'t cry while reading this,


When you read this story, I am certain you're going to think I am an idiot, But I promise if you give it a read, it will all tie together.

When I was 15 (he was 14), I thought I met the love of my life. We did everything together. I grew up dating him essentially all of high school. For reference, we are in the same grade. I experience so much of my life, shared everything with him.

You could say that over the course of almost 4 years of dating, we became inseparable. The inside jokes, the traditional dates, the teasing, the flirting, we had something special. But of course, over the last year of dating, the fighting only got worse. We had also been known to have a few huge fights here or there, but in all honesty, fighting is okay. But it came to a point for me that I realized I had simply had enough, I was tired of arguing with him. I was exhausted from telling him that he shouldn't ignore me, or that he should actually want to see me more.

He never was overly affectionate towards me during the last year. It had seemed that we were two ships that could not stop one storm after the next. On our 3.5 year anniversary, he asked to take a break because he had been so tired of me. He cut off all communication with me for days. I was devastated. I couldn't think or sleep. I had never felt more crushed. However, when he came to my doorstep with flowers and an apology, I felt like he had changed.

And he did. He wanted to plan our dates, talk to me more, call me, anything. It was one of the best points of my relationship, those few months. However, it wasn't enough, because to me, something was missing. I didn't love him anymore. I can't express to you what it feels like to wake up one morning, and you see this person you've always loved, but you feel different. I had fallen out of love. When I chose to break up with him, after taking a week of a break to clear my head.

He was devastated. I had hurt him so much, and it wasn't something I could help him with. Because I did that. But I could never force myself to love someone when I did not. Over the next months, we were friends. We did not want to hate each other, or be like every other ex. So we were close friends. He had made me agree that we shouldn't date for the rest of the school year, that way it would be easier on us. So I agreed. I figured, it was the least I could do, right?

Then, I found out he had been dating a girl. The worst part, was it was a girl he spent my entire relationship telling me he hated. So I assumed she was never a threat. The pain I felt/feel is the most intense sadness I could have ever felt. It's comparable to the time he didn't know if he loved me. I didn't eat right or sleep well for almost an entire week. Nothing has hurt me more.

In fact, I am still hurt because of the recency of this, as I type this, I have been tear filled, dry throat, and head throbbing. I think what is sad, was for the first time in a long time, I was starting to feel like I had missed him, and I was going to tell him that week, but then I found out he was dating someone else. The most unfortunate about all this, is I lost not only a boyfriend in this entire process, but now I have lost a friendship. We don't talk anymore. I dearly hope that will change, because he doesn't know the magnitude of how hurt not only I feel, but the rest of his friends, because suddenly, none of us exist. What hurts is I will never stop caring about him, no matter how much I hate him for the moment, I will always care. But now I have never felt more devastated. I want to tell myself I deserve it for breaking up with him, but I wasn't happy dating anymore. Do I deserve this?


       

Silly Girl

March 04, 2017 @ (Taiwan)

Tags: Sad breakup, silly breakup, silly girl, unimaginable breakup


When I was 13, I meet my ex in high school. I remember in the first class, we look at each other and smile which is the moment i remember until now. Those time, when young soul are pure and kind.. When time passes. We had a crush on each other, we knewit but we never confess it.

5 years later where we both are 19, we got together, he is my first love, while im not his first love. He went into several relationship during that 5 years. We were both in a long distance relationship(LDR) as at the year 19 people start going to college in University. I stayed local to further study, while he were in the State.

When we first separated, we fully committed to maintain this uneasy relationship, because i believe in fate. For those who been in a LDR, will know that how stressful, insecure, it is. It brings a lot of stress to me. At the first 4 months it was okay, and after that he start to playing missing, like for a whole day. Dint reply my text, dint pick up my call and dint even told me that when he is awake and when he is going to sleep. The time different between us is horrible, it was me that stay up till midnight to wait for him to wake up, but ended up receiving nothing. This kind of ignorance and gone missing go on and off continuously till another 6 months.

At the 10th month of LDR, i received an odd message from him. It was some very rude words, saying that I am a bitch. And then I realized that it sent by another girl through his phone. At that moment, my heart felt apart. My heart was broken. I cried and call him to explain everything, he told me that he was actually with the girl when he is in the State. He throw all the responsibilities to me to settle all this mess. Ask me to make the decision. I was mentally and physically being tortured. Everything was in a complete mess. His cheating partner was crying and screaming while we having phone call and I am really not under a sober condition to settle this mess. And I decided to hang up the call since I cannot think comprehensively towards everything. After the night, he keep send me sorry words, saying that he din't mean it, saying that he still love me, and a lot of sentences that mentally hurt me a lot. He spam and spam and spam.. every single day and act like he is the one who got hurt. MAN!! I am the one who silently being hurt all the time, every single time! 6 days after the messy break up, his cheating partner texted me, asking me to give him another chance, and told me that he was sick, asking me to send him some warm messages. I cried every single day, i cried a lot. The pain that both of them gave me is unbearable. It's like a knife stuffed into my heart and slowly twisting.

And finally I decided to text him, because I still love him at that point, he cried and beg me, asking me to give him another chance. Because I still love him, and we are back together. Same thing happened, okay at the first month was so good. And the following months he was playing missing. Finally at the third month he wanted to break up, and he said that he is in love with someone else. And we never contacted ever since.

After the break up, I couldn't sleep well at night. I always had nightmares, felt lonely and sad. When I look into the mirror i asked "What now? Am I not good enough?" "Why does being kind people will still get hurt?". All the question i asked, but non of them gave me an answer. Those sadness and insecurities haunted me quite a long time. It started to effect my health.

And after 4 months, someone with him told me the truth, the person told me that he had a lots of girlfriend before and after he gets back with me, all those classes, working timetable and trips with friends that he told me as an excuses of can't make a video call was actually going out have fun with a lots of chicks! Truth hurt. Truth really hurt like hell. I burst into tears when I knew this. I always thought that both of us need a closure, but the pain he gave me that feelings just wont go away. After the truth, and I finally realized that he doesn't deserve my tears. It is not worth to cry for him. Love yourself first girls!

Xoxo Best wishes


       

Dammie

February 26, 2017 @ (Ec)

Tags: Bad breakups , sad break ups


Me and my ex , we met 5 years ago we were so in love , was the first time in my life I had boyfriend ( I was 22 y.o ) he treated me like no other ever... I was facing depression and he took me out of it ... after almost 2 years , he texted me saying he was getting enough of me and that he didn't loved me anymore wasn't the first time ,I did begged him before not to leave me anyways he did I was in a terrible depression for over 3 months I didn't almost left my house or my room I cried all the time he then texted me saying he wanted to remain friends I said yes because I still had feelings for him , he sometimes talked about a girl saying was like hypothetical situation . A month later I found out he was dating ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS , i couldn't believe it everything made sense then she never apologized he didn't told me into my face either , cried and yelled to him the pain I was experiencing became unbelievable, after a month he texted me again saying sorry and all and that he was having a really bad time with his family and needed me , at first I sent him to hell but because I'm so stupid I kept contact and tried to help him out 4 months later he was having issues with his current gf ( my ex friend) and turned still to me saying that he understood now who really loved him , to make it short we came back together I forgave him but things weren't that great since I was all the time afraid that he might cheat again he was patient but sometimes he wouldn't pick the phone and it rang as occupied very late at night . He would go freaking mad if i would quise took him about it ,he kept saying I was being crazy that he was sleeping as always I apologized all the time we went on a wonderful trip to Asia and was wonderful , after that I made some decisions of my career that he didn't liked much but accepted , he travelled a lot because of his job , I even fought him looking for prostitutes when he was in Vietnam , to which he said I was being mental because he didn't do anything and I was going through his privacy , i always caught him trying to talk to other woman and was exhausting ,he cried and everything so I decided to believe him always , so I gave up and became that kind of woman that he could yell at and say I was stupid , that kind of woman that couldn't be angry because he didn't replied in 7 hours but he could be mad at me for not doing it in 10 minutes , I was being called stupid ,asshole etc etc every time I tried to ask about something .... one day we fought so badly that we didn't talked for 1day , I felt the end coming and felt pity for myself I loved him so much but I cried every single day and couldn't do anything in any other aspect of my life , I texted him finally being so afraid telling him that he could decide our future since he last words to me were "I want to break up with you so many fucking times but I don't say it" I told him I would do what he decides ,fight one more time or end ... he asked me time to think , 2 days later or silent I asked him ,he said was hard that he loved me but he made me cry and sometimes he didn't even felt bad about it ... anyways he broke up and broke my heart for second time...
Now one month later , i get to know that he is talking to another girl , younger prettier... and even I was doing okay and slowly not crying for him . I went back to the pain of the first time we broke up , that pain in your chest that won't go , the feeling of the tears going down your face without you even noticing, because I still love him and miss him like I did almost 5 years ago


       

EponaSaysHai

February 22, 2017 @ (Covina, CA)

Tags: Worst break up ever


I fell in love with my best friend. He was a sweet and kind boy that loved to help people. And he loved me back. I knew he did because he treated me like I was special. He said things that no one who saw you as just a friend would say. 4 months of magical romance that everyone saw but we didn't want to admit was there. Finally one day we told each other how we felt and all our friends were so happy for us. I had never been happier in my life. We loved each other. At first it was cute puppy love, I guess you could say, but when my growing depression finally got ahead of me, we found out how much we truly loved each other. He cared for me unlike anyone I've known. The puppy love became a romance and passion that we had building up inside of us for months. We were completely in love with each other even if we both hated ourselves. We were each other's reasons for living. And I can't tell you how many times we were so close to giving up but saved each other. I'll never forget that day I wanted to kill myself and he told me that he loved me and I meant everything to him. That I changed his life for the better. That summer, 3 months after we first confessed to each other, was depressing because we missed each other dearly. School was the only time we got to see each other. Then one day I got my phone taken away. The only way I could contact him was through text. For 2 weeks I sometimes secretly went in my phone to text him. It was brief but those moments were everything to me. Then... 5 days after our 5 month anniversary, I got my phone back. I texted him happily and he replied. But he was depressed. I asked him why and he refused to tell me. I hadn't talked to him in 3 days at the time so anything could've happened. I finally got him to tell me what was wrong and he said.... "I think I'm gay..." I was in shock. And when he said he liked me as a friend, I wanted to throw my phone and just kill myself. I struggled to stay calm for his sake. If I showed how much it hurt, he would regret telling me even more. I told him I needed to be alone. I was in public, totally unprepared for any tragic news. But slowly as reality sunk in, I couldn't hold back against the tears that threatened to pour. I excused myself to the restroom where I cried so hard I couldn't breathe because I tried to stay quiet. I didn't feel anything but pain and sadness. For the next few weeks, he begged me to move on. He was extremely sad and was angry at himself for breaking my heart. He even said he wish had never said anything at all. But I would've found out one day. He wouldn't love me anymore and I would be able to tell. School started and we were friends who pretended we were fine. No one asked about our relationship. Only one person did but we ignored them. It's funny. A lot of people keep asking us if we are dating. No one asked when we actually were. He isn't the same anymore. He isn't positive anymore. He shuts down when he's sad and only talks to his therapist. He used to talk to me. I dont know what we are at the moment. Sometimes I see my boyfriend again in the way he looks at me. Sometimes I see my best friend. But sometimes I see my ex boyfriend, the broken shell of the person I once knew and loved. I still love him to this day.

If you ever hear about a break up where the boyfriend finds out he's gay and the girlfriend is sad, don't laugh. It sounds humorous, but when it becomes your reality and the thing that tears you apart everyday, you won't be laughing. In these cases, there's little to no chance of getting back together. And it hurts like hell.


       

Dont Wanna Say..

February 11, 2017 @ (USA)

Tags: bad break up need advice help me


my ex and i dated for about two months and we recently broke up Monday of this week (2/6/17). I experienced true love for the first time in my life. I thought of him as the most amazing person i had ever laid eyes on. Since the beginning of the relationship, we grew up a lot. We started dating when we were 15 years old. and we are now 17. I did so much for him, i paid for the majority of dates, gave him money because he would need it and i constantly prioritized him, putting him before everything. I let him come between my family and friends. He was my first, i lost my virginity to him a year ago on valentines day. he did many things that were bad in the beginning of the relationship but i managed to hang on to the relationship because he begged and pleaded for me to stay. Now i am broken. I have a 4.7 GPA , i can get into any college i want to in North Carolina, i have an amazing job making great money and a great family and an awesome bestfriend. But i can't be happy without him. I feel like i absolutely need him in my life to feel okay. I really have put my happiness on the backburner for him. For months he has been canceling plans for friends and he would sleep through our plans bc he was out super late the night before, i felt like i wasnt important and he would be really mean when i tried to talk to him about it, calling me needy and saying "why can't u just be understanding and say okay sometimes" he would yell at the top of his lungs and blame the fact that he had no nicotine and thats why he was being that way to me. He doesn't go to school anymore (so a drop out) spends every dime on his truck making me have to pay for his food and gas and dates. he never treated me right yet he broke up with me monday and blocked me on everything. i begged and pleaded for him to stay for 2 days then i went no contact on him and havent spoken since wednesday to him. i know for a fact that he loves me. i just want him back. i think i have learned a lot about myself and i have been through more pain than i can begin to describe. Will he come back to me? our connection when we were together was so strong. this boy literally has our date tattooed on his wrist and he had given me a promise ring promising me forever. help me someone please just give me advice. i need to know if you think he will come back or not. how can you spend 2 years with someone to drop them this way?


       

Rose

February 08, 2017 @ (INDIA)

Tags: Bad breakup


We met in college and became close due to a prank played by friends. We then became best friends in a few months. I was the first girl with whom he became really close. There were many similarities and coincidences which made us think that this was meant to be. Gradually we fell in love and confessed it. I am his first and only love till this date. We were really happy and spent our 12 days of love together dating. But then suddenly he said that he want to get out of this. There wasn't even a single valid reason he could give. I lost my best friend as well as my love without any reason. And now i am left alone sad and broken with nothing left to do. He is happy and moved on. My condition is pathetic as it already took 8 months to get over a 12 days relationship. It is strange that i still haven't moved on. It really hurts to get dumped even after doing the best you can. Losing a best friend is even more painful...


       

Sid

January 01, 2017 @ (india)

Tags: breakup


There was this girl who i had been best friends for 2 years and then we shared an almost two year relationship..initially it was amazing..being college kids we could go out a lot and quite regularly but she moved to another state and distance changed everything..the promises she made were lies perhaps...i am an introvert so i dint have friends at all and it was just her but she was different ,she had a huge friend circle..i wasnt comfortable with her flirting with other guys,i even told her somehow,she reacted sweetly and i felt so much at peace,but reality was different,when she came back and we were sitting in a park..i saw a text in her phone saying “love u gal”..tears rolled and i hated that being a guy i couldnt believe for a girl i cried and that too for this reason..i loved her like hell..however i couldnt be myself and became controlling and annoying and eventually she left me…i lost myself…i lost control because i feel i gint get what i deserved…so many more serious bad things happen to a million people i know but still i thought she would never let go..cz i neva did…now its bn 8 months and i still secretly see her fb profile ..she seems happier..more lovely..and it aches deep down…a strange pain ..a heavibess in my chest…maybe everything happens for the best but i am still a lone introvert..she made fun of me and laughed it out with her friends and rubbrf it in my face..and i jus kept being broken...i wanted to move on but every once in w while she gave a cal and texted sayin she wants to be friends and misses me but cant be with me..i loved her but i dint kbow what to say..it jus stung thats all i felt..i still remember that horrible evening days before my exam and a month after she dumped me she cald me nd said she started dating a better guy than me and she changef coz it was me who was controlling...i wish i could shout amd scream..i couldnt ,my mother was in the next room...its bn 8 months and it sucks for me..i want to change but i feel less now .so small ..insignificant....


       








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