Tags: sad, valentines day, asshole
It's quite funny actually, as I have already posted on this site before with a brief submission on Jan 28, 2014. My first post was about my first boyfriend. We ended up getting back together on and off for about another 8 months before things finally ended for good (thank god!)
Looking back, I don't know why I was so sad. I just think it was because we had dated for 2 years, and he knew me inside out. But I wasn't serious about him, I know I could never end up with someone like him. After the breakup, I didn't expect to get into a relationship for a long time, maybe years. But only a few short months later my dream guy came along, someone I never thought would notice me.
He was amazing; 6'4", incredibly handsome, polite, smart, sweet, funny. I was in shock. I don't know if I ever had anyone on such a high pedestal before. And he wanted me back. Life, at that time, seemed like a dream come true, and I think that's where I ruined myself. I made HIM my dream. But I loved him so much and I was still in awe of everything he did. And all was well until moving away to a different city so I could go to university after only 4 months of dating.
Things changed. He changed. His true colors came out while living together. A once caring, dreamy person became cold, distant and indifferent. I had gained 15 pounds in the 6 months after university, and it apparently caused a huge problem for him (as he told me- "I would treat you better if you were thinner"). He would only return some of my texts, and got annoyed of me easily. The first 5 months living together were difficult, feeling like I was always reaching for him and he was just pulling away. I cried all the time. Looking back, after moving in that's mostly what I did with my time.
We've been broken up for a month now, but still living together because we signed into a lease. I've been trying to keep it civil but he seems to like hurting me constantly. A day doesn't go by without some sort of remark like "I enjoy this place when you're not here" or "you're not going to lose weight just watching a show about vegetables". After we agreed to try and be friends. Obviously it's hardest for me as I still care a great deal and he doesn't care at all, but yet I still try. I wake up everyday knowing that there's just going to be another heartbreaking moment. And every so often I think back to how it was in the beginning, everything was so perfect. I didn't want it to end up like this. What helps me to keep moving forward is to look at his attitude, he's treating me like dirt. And for what? All I did in our relationship was want to grow our love into something huge, but he couldn't see my value. I ask him what went wrong, he comes up with minuscule excuses such as "you never made me a friendship bracelet when you said you would" or "you turned on the light when I was sleeping". It's all a sad excuse to hide behind the real truth that he's shallow, and that once he saw me for my real self, without the nice body and makeup and clothes, he decided I wasn't good enough anymore. And i'm so glad that i'm stronger than I was 2 years ago, because no i'm not as sad as I was then, I've grown. I still cry sometimes, but I have to remember that I have the good heart, and important attributes to make love last, and him not being able to see that is HIS problem.
If you're interested in advertising with us please contact
Digital Estate & Digital Legacy Planning
Free Online & Digital Will
The Glove Slap
Funny Fail Pics
The Best Movies and WebTV