I was in a serious relationship when I was 18. My gf had a lot of guy friends. I didn't fully understand it but tried to accept it. One day her male friend (a few yrs older) invited her out for lunch with him and his business partner. Upon getting back my gf called me to tell me her friend's partner came onto her. Insisting that she dumps me as he will treat her like a real man. He has money, drives a bmw, etc. My gfsaid no and loves me more than anything. I commended her as this guy seemed like a jerk.
A week later my gf calls me out of the blue, telling me Im possessive and controlling and she doesnt want to be with me anymore. I was so dumbfounded. I plead with her, tried explaining myself only to be shot down and blamed for something else. She got off the phone and I was devasteted. I struggled for closure and anytime I reached out to her she would either ignore me or would callously blame my attempt for closure as being controlling.
In my last attempt I wrote her a heart-felt letter and delivered it to her home personally one night. I pulled upto her drive only to notice her standing there. I got out and said I just wanted to deliver her a letter and be on my way. She surprisingly was very spunky. "Hey! How are u? Im just waiting for my friend, we are going out for the night" after 2 min of small talk we hear a peeling out around the corner. Guess who comes ripping up the street? Yup....bmw. "my friend is here gotta go!" She got in the car and was gone.
My hs sweetheart lived 5 min away. We went to different schools, had different friends. She had a lot of guy-friends; I didn't fully understand it but didnt let it bother me. I just chalked it upto her sporty nature so she was always associated with them. One day one guy friend (a few yrs older) invited her out for lunch with him and his business partner. She called me after lunch to tell me her friend's parter kept hitting on her, saying things like "You should dump your bf, I will treat u better, I have money, a bmw, you need a real man". My gf responded with "no thanks I love my bf". I commended her and thought this guy sounds like a real douche.
A week or so later she called me out of the blue to break up with me. All she could do is blame my character flaws and other things. I am too possessive, controlling, we dont do anything, etc. All of this was a surprise as we never discussed anything like this before, I was totally dumbfounded that she was saying this. Anytime I tried to explain myself it was responded with coldness and more blame. I was devastated, confused, crushed. Anytime I reached out to her for closure she would either ignore me or be cold. I decided to write her a heartfelt letter and deliver it personally to her mailbox one night. I pulled upto her place and she was standing on the drive. I got out and said that I am not stocking, I just wanted to deliver a letter to her mailbox and be on my way. To my surprise she was very spunky (it was the 1st time I saw her face to face since the break). She says "hey np! How are u? I'm just waiting for my friend to pick me up". We made small talk for 2 mins until we hear this car screeching around the corner and ripping up the street. Guess what car it is? yup..... Mr. Bmw. "My friend is here, gotta go..bye!" That was it.
I was crushed
She called me later that night after reading the letter, crying and apologizing because she had commitment issues (supposidly). She never mentioned bmw boy but we talked it out and started again. Things were ok for a bit but I'll admit that I didn't fully trust her anymore. One days she asked for me to come along with her to a coffee shop to meet her friends. I came along and it was full of guys, not 1 female. 10 male friends of hers. I just sat there and watched her prance around from 1 guy to the next...mingling. I just sat there in silence thinking wtf is this? After 30 min or so she said we should go. Upon driving her home she kept rubbing my leg and had a smirk on her face saying "it's ok I knew u felt uncomfortable which is why I suggested we leave". Her whole demeanor was showing she was getting great satisfaction out of my supposed discomfort, and it was some sortof test/game.
Another time she had a 30yr old male "friend" invite her to a bar for a work party (she was 19) and asked me to go with her. I told her I wasnt up to it but go along and have fun. She kept questioning why I didnt want to go. I just kept being dismissive...told her to go, I wasnt feeling good..whatever. She refused to let it go until I finally caved and said "honestly, we are 19...I dont feel the urge to go hang out with your 30 yr old male friends. Within a cpl days she was breaking up with me again... over the phone.
I'm much older now, married to a wonderful lady, with wonderful kids. I'll never forget those days though.
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