I (40M) told my girlfriend (38F) of three months that I thought we should stop seeing each other. She instantly agreed: "I think that's best". When I asked her how long she'd felt this way, she responded with a canned non-answer: "I don't have time to devote to a relationship." I thought giving this relationship only three months made me lazy and impatient. But given her prompt agreement, I now think the opposite is true: I had actually waited too long to break it off.
In this story, the breakup lasted almost four months. Stupid, I know.
When I was 20 I completely fell for my housemate, we'd been living together for a few months and he was a wonderful friend, we ended up dating for ten months. The first six were amazing. We had compatible future plans and lived together like an old married couple, we knew each other better than ourselves, or so I thought.
Over the course of the last four months, things started changing. He still did all the physical things that you'd expect a loving boyfriend to do, lifts home from work, random gifts.. but he started making me feel like I was a screw up. I couldn't do anything right, he was mad all the time at the stupidest things. Sometimes I would cry in our shared bed and he would just roll over to sleep. (remember this, it's relevant.) When my anxiety peaked to a point where I couldn't handle it, I told him it was over. He basically told me that he'd been wanting to leave me for months but didn't want to deal with dumping me, four months of emotional turmoil because he couldn't be bothered just talking to me! He moved out the next day.
There's an inspirational message in here though. After him, I dated a few people who lied and manipulated and all but gave up, until I met someone who I immediately bonded with over our emotionally damaging exes. The first time we had a minor disagreement, we made up right away, and then he rolled over to sleep. Because I'd always known this to mean "I don't like you right now." even though I knew it was ridiculous, I started crying. I tried to hide it, but when he noticed he immediately cuddled me and apologised, turns out he rolled over because his shoulder was really hurting but he refused to get comfortable again until I was happy again and falling asleep. We're still together.
There's never a good reason for anyone to make you feel like you're not good enough, or that you're not loved. If this is happening to you, just know that the worst that can come out of leaving someone who does this to you, is that you'll be single for a while. The best thing that can happen is a major self confidence boost from standing up for yourself and a better man just around the corner.
I'm sorry for making this so deep, but whilst that four months was the worst, most damaging thing that's ever happened to me, I came out the other side better off.
I got together with my best friend. We had a good time, moved to a city of a different country together to live there for a year during my student exchange. We had a good time and we cared for each other a lot. Soon doubts crept in, I wondered whether I loved him enough, whether this was what I wanted from love in life. Only in the crisis that lead to our break up I learned that he's had similar doubts. The drama is that there was no drama. We broke up in perfect mutual understanding, in agreement over the issues that we didn't like and also sharing the opinion that starting new with somebody else would be the best option. I still believe this is right and I don't want to let things get messy by contacting him, I don't want him to come back out of sympathy and I don't want me to try and get him back just out of the fear of losing an extraordinary friend and perhaps the most supportive, accepting and understanding person I met in my life.
Now, it's only been two weeks and after an amazing conversation with one of my professors who tried to help me (and succeeded doing so in a way), I still doubt my choice and I still miss him and the loss of him is certainly the hardest thing I ever had to take.
Perhaps you guys think this is easier as it didn't get nasty, and perhaps you are right, but is there anything that is more bitter than two people who desperately want to be together and tried to make each other happy but whose love simply wasn't enough?
However, this story just seemed different from most I read here so I'll share it with you.
My first love,boyfriend and everything(well not everything) broke up with over a text I sent him or so he says. We were together for about 6 months and I felt like everything was fine,we had an occasional disagreement and we broke up a couple of time for like a couple of hours but all in all I thought we were ok was and still am in love with him he told said he loved me and everything was good so I thought. I started noticing he would ignore my calls a lot and when I asked him why he would be like (the next day) he was busy and he didn't want to tell me that because he felt like it would hurt my feelings which I thought did't make any sense. So one day when he was ignoring my calls he finally answered and he sounded like he was just having a good time hanging out so I was mad and I asked "why your not answering me " he replied "I'm on the phone now right" so right there that made me mad. So because I was mad I hung up on him and then I felt bad for doing that so I tried to call him again and of course no answer so I started to text him and he texts back I'm doing homework so I text back (mind you I was mad) that he's a liar and f.u (you know what that spells. So the next day he doesn't answer me or call me all day and when he finally does he says I broke up with him because of what I text him and I'm like I was just mad and I'm sorry but he doesn't want to hear that. I think he was just trying to make an excuse to break up with me what do you think?
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