Searching for "gay"

17 Results For 'gay'

EponaSaysHai

February 22, 2017 @ (Covina, CA)

I fell in love with my best friend. He was a sweet and kind boy that loved to help people. And he loved me back. I knew he did because he treated me like I was special. He said things that no one who saw you as just a friend would say. 4 months of magical romance that everyone saw but we didn't want to admit was there. Finally one day we told each other how we felt and all our friends were so happy for us. I had never been happier in my life. We loved each other. At first it was cute puppy love, I guess you could say, but when my growing depression finally got ahead of me, we found out how much we truly loved each other. He cared for me unlike anyone I've known. The puppy love became a romance and passion that we had building up inside of us for months. We were completely in love with each other even if we both hated ourselves. We were each other's reasons for living. And I can't tell you how many times we were so close to giving up but saved each other. I'll never forget that day I wanted to kill myself and he told me that he loved me and I meant everything to him. That I changed his life for the better. That summer, 3 months after we first confessed to each other, was depressing because we missed each other dearly. School was the only time we got to see each other. Then one day I got my phone taken away. The only way I could contact him was through text. For 2 weeks I sometimes secretly went in my phone to text him. It was brief but those moments were everything to me. Then... 5 days after our 5 month anniversary, I got my phone back. I texted him happily and he replied. But he was depressed. I asked him why and he refused to tell me. I hadn't talked to him in 3 days at the time so anything could've happened. I finally got him to tell me what was wrong and he said.... "I think I'm gay..." I was in shock. And when he said he liked me as a friend, I wanted to throw my phone and just kill myself. I struggled to stay calm for his sake. If I showed how much it hurt, he would regret telling me even more. I told him I needed to be alone. I was in public, totally unprepared for any tragic news. But slowly as reality sunk in, I couldn't hold back against the tears that threatened to pour. I excused myself to the restroom where I cried so hard I couldn't breathe because I tried to stay quiet. I didn't feel anything but pain and sadness. For the next few weeks, he begged me to move on. He was extremely sad and was angry at himself for breaking my heart. He even said he wish had never said anything at all. But I would've found out one day. He wouldn't love me anymore and I would be able to tell. School started and we were friends who pretended we were fine. No one asked about our relationship. Only one person did but we ignored them. It's funny. A lot of people keep asking us if we are dating. No one asked when we actually were. He isn't the same anymore. He isn't positive anymore. He shuts down when he's sad and only talks to his therapist. He used to talk to me. I dont know what we are at the moment. Sometimes I see my boyfriend again in the way he looks at me. Sometimes I see my best friend. But sometimes I see my ex boyfriend, the broken shell of the person I once knew and loved. I still love him to this day.

If you ever hear about a break up where the boyfriend finds out he's gay and the girlfriend is sad, don't laugh. It sounds humorous, but when it becomes your reality and the thing that tears you apart everyday, you won't be laughing. In these cases, there's little to no chance of getting back together. And it hurts like hell.

JoHeartBroken

June 29, 2016 @ (West Virginia)

Tags: gay, heartbroken, sad breakup

He was my stepbrother's friend, having moved in with us two years ago. He never showed any signs of liking me--or men in general--at all. In fact, I always thought he was a bit homophobic until he told me otherwise. He said, "As long as you don't like me." Well, of course, I kind of fell for him. I never told him, but I always tried to underhandedly flirt with him. I wasn't sure if he knew how I felt about him. Then, just this past weekend, I caught him looking at me and smirking. I asked why he was looking at me like that. He said, "Nothing." I then asked him if he knew how I felt about him. He sat down and grabbed my hand and asked if this was what I wanted. It was such a great feeling, being with him. Then he tells me that he'd had feelings for me since he first got to know me, but he never did anything because his dad was super homophobic and would literally kill him. Then he tells me he's leaving for a job in Virginia, so we couldn't be together anymore. It wasn't until two weeks from now, but he got kicked out due to bad blood between he and my stepmother. I'm completely heartbroken, and it's all I can think about.

Prvnce

March 13, 2016 @ (Florida )

Tags: bad breakups, heart broken

Growing up, I've never had a sexual preference. I was always afraid to tell people because I knew no one would understand. Then my 10th grade year in highschool, I met the perfect being, the "love of my life". We started talking December 28th and made it official January 1st at 12:04. We've had a bumpy road. I always was so used to being heart broken that I didn't know how to love anymore or even appreciate it when it's shown to me. But he sat there and he waited for me to open up to him and he was stern when he needed to be. Truth of the fact is, I wouldn't have this stronger state of mind if it wasn't for him. He was such an inspiration to my life. In my sophomore days he was a senior and was off to college. We was in a log distance relationship. He stayed in West Virginia and I stayed in Florida. We was going together for 8 months before I left him, because I thought I haven't loved him anymore. Then later that September we got back together and saw each other in person for the first time in October. We made a bond like no other. And one thing I remember is when he told me he don't ever wanna live without me by his side..."I need you in my life" He would say. We was going so fine until the day he got in college. I got less attention and began to beg him and antagonize him because I didn't understand that being in college is time consuming. He then began to pay his attention to other guys. After we had a talk about it we was fine for our 1 year anniversary "one year down forever to go." I still remember him saying. Little did we know forever was just about to end...as time flew by he began to loose interest in me. He would call me too gay and tell me he don't like the way I dance or the way I dress. He'll say he didn't like my body being a certain way, but he would always be attracted to other guys that was just the same as what he didn't want in me. He would like their pics, text and call them. And we've had multiple falling outs about it. Finally I understood that he felt I didn't appreciate him is why he was distant from me. I gave in to my faults and offered to fix the situation. He agreed but would never let me. He would either ignore me, be rude to me or just act like I don't even exist. Or like I'm just an associate. This has been going on for months. A week ago he said he wasn't in love with me anymore. Today, March 13, 2016 I am a single broken hearted man. We've been through the hell and back together. We've lost friends for each other. His dad won't talk to him and my mom rebuke me. We both don't get along with our families because of the way they treat us. I've never had a shoulder to lean on. He's all I have...now I have nothing...once again my heart is broken and he don't even care anymore. I've cried so many times and he didn't care. I don't know what to do. I'm hurt. AGAIN...

Prvnce

March 13, 2016 @ (Florida )

Tags: bad breakups, heart broken

Michael

July 03, 2014 @ (New York City)

Tags: #BadBreakup, #ToxicRelationship, #BipolarDisorder, #Crazypeople

I met my ex-girlfriend on an online dating website and things got serious pretty quickly. She had bipolar disorder but was not getting treated. She lived with her parents and had a rocky relationship with her domineering and controlling mother. I always got the impression that her parents viewed my ex-girlfriend as a disappointment in comparison to her two older sisters who were both married with their own families. It seemed like her parents were happy with just about anybody who take my ex-girlfriend off her hands.

Initially I got along with her parents. I attended family gatherings, holidays and even went on a vacation with them. Over time, however, things changed. It started during a dinner we had with her parents. Her mother had a habit of scolding my ex-girlfriend about seemingly petty things. Even though it was an awkward situation that was uncomfortable, her mother was very unapologetic and instead got upset at me for not talking.

After two years together, we started to run into some problems. My ex-girlfriend was pressuring me into getting engaged, mainly so she could get my health insurance and get treated for her bipolar disorder. She even talked about eloping first so she didnâ€™t have to wait to claim my insurance. I started to feel that the relationship was a little one-sided. We practically spent all of our free time together and I was bothered she never showed much interest in any of my hobbies and was always very vocal about how stupid they were. Another problem were her mood swings which often lead to arguments, which occasionally took place in public places.

After we broke up, I went out on my own while my ex-girlfriend immediately jumped into another relationship. Also during that time, her parents sort of relented and allowed her to get treated for her bipolar disorder. After a few months, we both realized that we still had feelings for each other and decided to get back together, promising that things would be different.

At first not everyone was excited that we were back together, mainly her parents. They were upset because they believed her new boyfriend wouldâ€™ve eventually married her and because they believed I had caused my ex-girlfriendâ€™s mood swings. My ex-girlfriendâ€™s mother was upset at me over an incident that happened a year ago that never occurred. Even though my ex-girlfriend believed her, I was suspicious of her mother.

Initially everything seemed to be going great. The relationship was a lot more balanced and because my ex-girlfriend was taking medication she wasnâ€™t getting those mood swings that plagued us last time. Around the holidays, things started to turn. I was driving my ex-girlfriend to the airport and my car got a flat tire. As I pulled into the gas station, she started screaming at me, like she did before she was taking her medication. It was so bad that the attendants felt sorry for me and gave me the replacement tire for free. Even though my ex-girlfriend wrote off the incident as holiday-related stress, it was the first indication that something wasnâ€™t right.

Over the next month, my ex-girlfriend continued to act erratically and decided to break up with me on Valentineâ€™s Day, only to change her mind the following day and the same pattern would occur every few weeks. Also during that time, my ex-girlfriend discovered that her mother had tricked her into not taking her bipolar medication and had told her doctor that she no longer needed them causing her doctor to believe she was misdiagnosed.

Eventually, my ex-girlfriendâ€™s mother began to act even more coldly towards me. During an argument over the phone, I overheard her mother screaming in background and demanded that she break up with me and get it over with. Every time I saw her mother, I tried to be friendly or polite to her but she either scowl at me or storm out of the room. She continued to badmouth me and even made bizarre accusations about me. She claimed that I wasnâ€™t serious about getting married and claimed that I was gay. She even told family members that she didnâ€™t think that I was a nice person.

By the spring, my ex-girlfriendâ€™s mood swings started to get worse. One night, my ex-girlfriend had too much to drink and she started grinding against me at a restaurant. After I quietly pushed her off of me and told her to stop, she started screaming at me and eventually pushed me out the door. When I returned, she continued to scream at me and had to be told to leave by the manager.

On the way home, I told her we were finished but she wanted to talk. She asked for another chance and promised to stop drinking. When I wouldnâ€™t reconsider, she got upset demanded that I get out of her car and kicked me in my ribs and threw a half empty wine bottle out the window. The following day, she changed her mind and tried to convince me to give her another chance. After she got her friends to contact me, I felt like I had no choice but to give in.

In the following weeks. My ex-girlfriendâ€™s mood swings got worse and she even got pushy and demanding. When I tried breaking up with her again, she again forced me to reconsider and sometimes held me hostage in her house until I reconsidered. Personally I felt trapped. When my ex-girlfriend and I got back together, this was not what I had envisioned. Now I felt depressed and noticed that I had gained weight.

I decided that I needed an outlet for my feelings and decided to sign up for an obstacle course race. My ex-girlfriend immediately thought it was a dumb idea and was upset that I ask her permission. She also hated that I joined a Sunday softball league with a friend, even though she worked on that day. She always expected me to stay home and meet with her after she got off of work.

The night before the race, my ex-girlfriend decided to rehash an old argument about how she felt that I wasnâ€™t committed to her and believed her mother was about me. The argument continued as I was driving her home and when I tried to break up with her again, she lost her temper and started hitting me over the head with a book as I was driving. Afterwards, I was forced to change my mind after she refused to leave my car. The following week, I finally broke up with my ex-girlfriend after I cancelled my plans with her and she furiously berated me on the phone. Unlike last summer, this was for good.

In the months that followed, my ex-girlfriend continued to try to contact me.
Sometimes she scolded me for breaking up with her and occasionally she begged for another chance. She even would scream at remaining mutual friends when they wouldnâ€™t tell her any information they had on me. I also learned that she was in a serious car accident that some of her friends believe might been a suicide attempt. Eventually, she stopped trying to contact me and I learned that she had started dating another guy and was once again taking bipolar medication.

As for me, I rediscovered how to have fun again. I made a lot of new friends on the softball team I joined that summer. It helped that we won the championship and I ended up making the game winning catch. I also lost 50 pounds and have since competed in 3 more obstacle course races. I even started dating again and am currently in the early stages of a new relationship. Itâ€™s been fun and I can't remember the last time I felt this happy or excited about my life.

Samantha

April 29, 2014 @ (denver colorado)

Tags: #Arthur

I had been dating this guy for 4 years, and things were ok in the beginning, later on he started being obsessive, I wouldn't answer his calls, he would leave me 11 voicemails! We talked and worked out, he told me how much he loves me, and he doesn't want to lose me. how I was the perfect one for him. I was completely faithful to him! after a few months he began to act strange, turns out he left his facebook open at home, and I saw a message coming from a guy saying that he loves my boyfriend. I asked my boyfriend what was going, and if he was gay. he said hes been having mixed emotions. that we should break up. I moved on, he went out with that guy. which is sad and embracing for me.

Henry

February 28, 2014 @ (Kerman, CA)

Tags: Bad break up

So I'm a guy, and I was in a gay relationship for 1 year and 8 months. It was like the perfect relationship, and I was so in love. It was my first time in a relationship and it started May of 2012 up until now. There were never really any signs that their was something wrong with us. We were always happy and loving to each other. When he moved to another state communication was hard. It was Arkansas, and I was in California. He was planning on staying over there and not coming back, but he only stayed there for only about a month because he feel into a depression and came back to be with me. We were good up until there was problems with his family and him, this was in December 2013. One day he took me to the place where we first fell for each other and told me he's going to have to move back to Arkansas because he can't take the drama here. I was sad knowing he was going to leave back again. Then when the day came on January 3 2014, he was packing all his stuff and was getting ready to leave. I told him to be with me in his room alone, and surprised him with a new cell phone so we could contact each other. He cried a lot and said thank you so much, you know my family would've never done this for me. The he hugged me for a long time crying. When he left i felt depressed, knowing he might just stay over there this time. A month later he facetimed me for the first time and we where so happy to see each other, we would text each other through facebook daily and that kept my calm. A week before valentines day i sent him a card that I personally made with all are pictures on it... Then he called two days later like normally but I screwed up the conversation. I got awkward about a topic and I wasn't talking the whole time on the phone. Then he suddenly hung up. I called him back and told him, you hung up.. And he said, yeah I did.. I said, are you made at me.. He said well what do u think, you know I hate it when you don't say anything on the phone.. So I asked, do u still want to talk to me?.. He said, not really.. I said, ok I'm sorry i really am.. He said, it's ok I'm over it already.. I'll talk to you tomorrow. The next day I got a msg from him.. It hurt me. He said, ok, yesterday u left me thinking on how long Ive been without you and managed to be fine. So I'm sorry, I don't love you anymore and before you start with that no i can do better stuff just think and be an adult. Your a great guy with a lot of love and the person who loves u is lucky, but I don't love u. I have to put my own goals first. So yeah I guess this is goodbye. It's over. I was so sad and couldn't think right.. I was left with no talk from him in a few days, we talked but it was nothing like we would normally talk to each other.. Then a week passed with no talking, and then yesterday the 27 of February, his best friend from here came to my house to facetime him, I let them talk by themselves but I called his friend over to talk to me real quick. I told here to put the earphones on but don't plug them in.. He told her to put in earphones so nobody would hear what he was about to say. So she put them on but didn't plug them in and I was secretly on the side of her, but he didn't know. He said to her through facetime, ok, I don't have a lot of time but that guy me and josh we broke up. He was pulling that whole act that Henry did and i was like been there done that, I don't know what we are, I think we're just friends but now I'll stick to school I guess. But when I'm 18, I'll try a few dates every now and then....... After I heard that whole thing I was heart broken. To know that he dated someone 3 days after we broke up made me feel like shit, I felt like I didn't matter i felt like I was nothing. How can u go into a relationship real quick after breaking up a almost 2 year relationship.. I doesn't make sense, his friend told him a heard everything and he was like in shock because he didn't want me to know. I talked to him later that day just us two. I asked him if that whole time that we facetimed and before when he was crying and about to move.. If he still loved? me that whole time. He said no, he had no feelings for me and he was just being nice and didn't know how to break it to me. So we just ended it for good and that was that. I feel betrayed, lost, confused, depressed.. I don't know how I'll get over my first love, my everything. I built a foundation for us, only for me having to take it down... It's hard. We have had so many loving memories in my home town it's hard not to think about it.. I go to the place where we felt for each other, it hurts. But I feel close to him when I'm there. I still love him. I can't hate him because he showed me many things in life, basically helped me out A LOT. But i do hate his poor choices and the people that might of influenced him to go in a relationship after ours. I thank and love him for being there when I needed him there, he's my best friend and the only person that gets me like no one else. He told me we can't be friends because I still have feelings for him. He said once i loose those feelings and find someone else, we can be friends. I probably won't hear from him in a long time because he's deactivating everything he's on, like Facebook.etc. if i do find someone else, I'll probably have feelings for him still.. And would have to lie that I don't. I don't know how to manage now.. It's really hard to deal with and I find myself crying constantly. The term that I always used,(Always

Keller Connley

February 17, 2013 @ (Milford, Ohio)

Tags: First Girlfriend, Betrayel

Hello everyone. My name is Keller Connley, and this is the story of how my first girlfriend broke my heart. It was freshman year, and the homecoming was coming up. I was very desperate and asked a lot of girls to come with me, but they all said no. Finally, I asked this girl who I had only seen a few times during school, and she was in my math class. So, a week before homecoming, I asked her, and she said, "I'll, think about it." The next day, she told me yes I will go with you and gave me her number. Later that night, when we were texting, she told me that she had a boyfriend. I was shocked, since I would have never asked her if I had known. She said to not worry, because she wanted to break up with her anyway. So she did that, and a few days later we were going out. Homecoming was extremely fun and I had a great time with her.

So, during our time together, we did things, like go to the movies and hung out at my dads place. We didn't go all the way, since we were in ninth grade and both Christians. The furthest I went was halfway between 2nd and 3rd base.

We did this for eight months, but I started to realize that there were cracks in the relationship. We stopped spending every second of school outside of class together, and we also didn't text as much as before, since I had broken my phone.

The straw that broke the camels back, however, was in fact my best friend for 3 years. He got jealous, and somehow convinced me she was cheating on me, and convinced me to give him her number. That was on Sunday May 6th 2012. She confronted me the next day, and started asking me weird questions. Apparantly, my friend had told her lies, such as that I watched gay porn, and that I had my eyes on this black girl in school. I dismissed these lies, and life was normal again. However, on May 12th and 13th, when we talked over the phone, she told me that she had feelings for my friend. On May 14th, when school started, she broke up with me, and shattered my heart. I later found out that she had asked out my friend no more than 19 minutes later. My birthday was that Saturday.

For the following 2 weeks, I broke down in tears many times, both in and out of class. She in my opinion is being controlled by him because he has threatened me with violence, and the few times I have been able to speak to my ex, she tells me, " I shouldn't be talking to you. Randy is very jealous, and I don't want him to hurt you."

Now, since it's been almost a year, I am going to try and talk to her again. What do you guys and gals think I should do?

Jennifer

January 31, 2013 @ (United States)

Tags: (gay, boyfriend, bestfriend, mutual)

My name is Jennifer and I am 18 years old. About a year a go, my best friend of 2 years finally asked me out and I couldn't have been happier. We spend an amazing 9 months together until something happened in November. We were having a bit of a hiccup in our relationship. Just a little lack of communication but nothing big. I told him we needed to talk things out, so we went out for coffee the morning of the 27th.
That's when he dumped me hard, saying that he just didn't like me anymore, and had no feelings for me. It was completely out of the blue. I was distraught for about 2 weeks until he finally told me he was gay. I felt horrible, that I might have done something to cause it, or I made him turn gay. But he assured me that it was always a thought in his head but never wanted to tell me to spare my feelings.
I'll admit- things were awkward for a week or two but then we immediately returned to being best friends, and we were inseparable again. I also started hanging out with our other mutual friend, he was funny and smart and we really got along well.
Well about 2 weeks ago our mutual friend decided to tell me he was gay. I began to panic, thinking that something was up, but my ex was very consoling to say that everything was fine and there was nothing between the two of them- they were just friends and got along well because they had enough in common.
Easy enough right? Well wrong. The mutual friend let the cat out of the bag that he and my ex-boyfriend started dating a month after he dumped me.
So I was not only dumped for someone else, it was for our mutual best friend... who was a guy.
And now I'm not speaking to either of them because I feel betrayed that they would go behind my back like that. I told them everything and they kept that huge secret from me for about 3 months.
Anyone know what to do?
-Jennifer

Michelle

June 03, 2012 @ (Provo, Utah)

Tags: Breakup, Friendship, Gay Best Friend

This isn't abnormal breakup story. This is a friendship breakup story. But I was in love and it hurts like hell.

About a year ago I started the job I'm currently at and I met someone there that I instantly knew was an amazing person and someone I was meant to be friends with. Well we did become friends, best friends in fact. Now would be a good time to mention he's gay. Anyways for the last 9 months he was a big if not the biggest part of my life. We did almost everything together. We would text all day every day. We didn't go more then a few days without seeing each other and most of my plans included him or were made around him. He soon became my everything. I didn't care he was engaged. He gave me the love and attention I so desperately craved. And I slowly started to fall in love with how he treated me and then I fell in love with him. But I tried hard to keep my feelings in check. And we had boundaries that helped with that.

Well at the end of February we went to visit our friend at college about 3 hours away. He is also gay. Well late that night things got weird. There was a 3 way kiss. And then there was cuddling, touching, scissoring, and just crazy awkward stuff. But I also enjoyed it because I loved my one friend and I wanted him to be in love with me. But there was a part of me that felt like I was included to prevent me from getting jealous and crazy. I also knew our relationship would never be the same because so many boundaries had been crossed.

Then 2 weeks later that same friend from college came to visit. And I decided I needed a break because I felt to attached to both of them. I also felt like my best friend had feelings for our mutual friend. But he assured me that he didn't. They both talked me out of taking a break and we decided to have a big party with alcohol at my bffs apartment. I knew this was not a good idea and bad things were going to happen but I secretly hoped that with enough alcohol in both of us something might happen. Well everyone got drunk. We ended up making out. But he made out with everyone. It was like a mini orgy. I was physically and emotionally sick. It couldn't be undone and my feelings were stronger but I also knew he didn't feel the same.

The next morning I found out he had lied to me and he actually had feelings for our friend. And that our friend had pretended to have feelings back. When I confronted him he to me said he was embarrassed and thought I'd freak out. His feelings for him confused him. And then he said my feelings for you sometimes confuse me. Something I believed and actually gave me a spark of hope.

From the time of the party on nothing was really the same. We fought often. I couldn't forgive him for lying to me. And my feelings for him were stronger then ever. Being around him gave me such happiness but also brought me agony. I was in love but he was never going to be in love with me. But I couldn't accept his love and friendship. I just wanted more. I pushed and pushed. I expected way too much. I told him every chance I got about my feelings for him. I to him those feelings brought me pain. I was suicidal. I was mean. I was angry. I did all of this to push him away and prove that he would walk away. Even though he said he never would.

About 3 weeks ago we got in a huge fight and I guess he had, had enough. He said even if i was a boy or if he was straight he wouldn't be in love with me. That all the nice things he told me around the time i found out he lied about our friend were actually more lies. That most of what he did day to day was out of guilt and to keep me alive. He told me he couldn't handle me and all that went along with me. He was done.

I was crushed and devastated! He was my whole world. My best friend and the guy I was in love with. It was like the one person I trusted the most ripped out my heart and shredded it. The pain was/is unbearable.

Now that said I realize that our relationship was unhealthy and things needed to change. I knew maybe a break was needed to. But I never expected him to walk away. I would NEVER walk away form him or any of my friends.

So like I said this is a different break up story but a break up story nonetheless.