Breaking up sucks, make your story heard!
My relationship lasted just shy of 3 years, what would have been our 3 year anniversary was feb 4th, when we first got together I told her I was joining the army, she knew this was coming we were together for 5 months before I left for basic training, but we called every night and everytime we got together was amazing, I then got posted to a working unit at around our 2 year point, she was happier because I was home near every weekend then she decided she wanted more out of life and wanted to go to uni, which I fully supported, she was there for her first term of 3 months, so for 3 months It was never a good time to see her, I was either duty on weekend or she had an assignment needed doing without distraction, so the time came, Christmas leave 2013 I was so excited, and there was no clues or indication the breakup was coming, we were both still messaging each other as much as usual, planning Christmas all of that, finally got off the bus and saw her, I was soo happy I couldn't stop kissing and hugging her, she was a little off with me all day, that night I said "we're ok aren't we?" Then it was silent and she sat up in the bed, my heart was pounding I was terrified that everything we had together was about to end, she said "I think we should break up" her reasoning was good enough, we both are going through different things in our lives and currently want different things, she's 20 and I'm 21 and we were planning our whole lives together, she said she can't be dealing with the stress of never knowing when the next time we'll see each other is going to be.
It's been 2 months and a bit since, Iv deleted her Facebook and all her friends and family, I've stopped talking to her and focused on my own life, but admittedly, it's been the hardest thing I've ever had to do, Iv contacted her every now and then a hurtled my feelings at her (but not recently), I'v had nightmares about her being happier with other men and Iv had suicidal thoughts, Iv wanted so desperately to find out every single thing I could about why we ended but it did me no favors, in the end everytime I talk to her I push her further away and for a while that was what made me want to end my life, I'm not having those thoughts anymore and I'm sticking to this no contact thing, but it is hard, I unblocked her just to see how she's doing and she seems really happy, she then quickly blocked me. She did say "maybe we'll pick it up again one day when our situations change, but right now I need time for my course and my life"
Im not over her but I'm not crying about her anymore at least, I'm defiantly progressing, although I'm worried because I don't want to be with any other girl and I'm craving that feeling again but that comes and goes.
lately since cutting all contact ive been getting better, and now i see more clearly that this isnt the end of the world
In this story, the breakup lasted almost four months. Stupid, I know.
When I was 20 I completely fell for my housemate, we'd been living together for a few months and he was a wonderful friend, we ended up dating for ten months. The first six were amazing. We had compatible future plans and lived together like an old married couple, we knew each other better than ourselves, or so I thought.
Over the course of the last four months, things started changing. He still did all the physical things that you'd expect a loving boyfriend to do, lifts home from work, random gifts.. but he started making me feel like I was a screw up. I couldn't do anything right, he was mad all the time at the stupidest things. Sometimes I would cry in our shared bed and he would just roll over to sleep. (remember this, it's relevant.) When my anxiety peaked to a point where I couldn't handle it, I told him it was over. He basically told me that he'd been wanting to leave me for months but didn't want to deal with dumping me, four months of emotional turmoil because he couldn't be bothered just talking to me! He moved out the next day.
There's an inspirational message in here though. After him, I dated a few people who lied and manipulated and all but gave up, until I met someone who I immediately bonded with over our emotionally damaging exes. The first time we had a minor disagreement, we made up right away, and then he rolled over to sleep. Because I'd always known this to mean "I don't like you right now." even though I knew it was ridiculous, I started crying. I tried to hide it, but when he noticed he immediately cuddled me and apologised, turns out he rolled over because his shoulder was really hurting but he refused to get comfortable again until I was happy again and falling asleep. We're still together.
There's never a good reason for anyone to make you feel like you're not good enough, or that you're not loved. If this is happening to you, just know that the worst that can come out of leaving someone who does this to you, is that you'll be single for a while. The best thing that can happen is a major self confidence boost from standing up for yourself and a better man just around the corner.
I'm sorry for making this so deep, but whilst that four months was the worst, most damaging thing that's ever happened to me, I came out the other side better off.
So, I had been dating this girl for about six months with a two month break in between, let's call her "Jackie". It was when we got back together I realized that things weren't going to work. She said that we just need to communicate more, but it never happened, we always just sat in awkward silence until one of us had to leave.
Before we get to the actual break-up, I want to do a little back-story. So a few years back my friends introduced me to this girl, not the one I broke up with, let's call her "Amanda." Amanda was a nice girl from the very start, She invited me to all her parties, and helped me out with my homework and essays. She was funny, she would often make fun of my now best friend, "Franklin," which I found hilarious. She was also super smart, she had one of the highest GPAs in the school, and passed even the most advanced classes. And I swear she is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, and to this day I am deeply in love with her. Unfortunately, when I told her about my feelings, she dropped the F-Bomb on me. Yep, that was my first ever "friend-zone." I was crushed, I never felt so terrible in my life. But I stayed adamant, and year after year I would ask her, and year after year she denied me. I realize that she can make whatever choice she wants, but I couldn't help but to want to be with her. I guess she must have gotten tired of me asking, because after the fourth confession, she suggested I go out with Jackie, whom I had met a month earlier. I knew she had a thing for me, and Amanda said we would be cute together. I don't know why, but the words "cute together" hit me really hard. Just the thought of being with someone other than her felt wrong. Things did go wrong eventually, I guess that's what happens when you go out with someone because the love of your life asks you to. I probably should have seen that coming. After dancing with Jackie at one of the parties, I became infatuated with her. I asked her out on a date, and she of course said yes. Now I had never gone out on a date before so I didn't know exactly what to do. And no one told me that movie dates are the worst first date you could go on. We sat in the theater eating our popcorn, eyes glued to the screen, not even looking at each other; the first of many awkward experiences. The worst part was that Amanda offered to drive us around since neither I or Jackie bothered to learn how to. Amanda couldn't have been more happy to see me going out with another girl, which I understand is something friends do, but when that friend has recently broken your heart, it kinda stings a little.
Fast forward four months. Now at this point we've decided to break things off for a while. Jackie has started dating this guy, let's call him "Matt." I had no problem with Jackie dating Matt, in fact I was happy that she found someone she could actually talk to. Matt and I are also good friends so, I was happy for both of them. Now with no one to distract my feelings, I began to feel old emotions rising again, I would often hang out with Amanda like we used to, but not in a way that would give any hints, just talking, and study sessions. I should have realized then that this was what it was meant to be like. Being single wasn't a bad thing, in fact I love being single. It makes you appreciate all the free time you once had to hang out with friends and get work done. This didn't last very long, because Jackie and Matt eventually broke up. I never got the exact details of why or how, but I do know that Jackie broke up with Matt, because she realized that she still loved me even though she was the one who broke up with me for Matt in the first place. Matt explained to me that he cared for her, and he wanted to see her happy, and that I should take her back. And I, being the stupid confused kid at the time, said "of course." And so, we began dating each other once more. The rekindled infatuation didn't last long, and I realized about a month in that things weren't going to work. Now came the biggest problem, how to break it to her. Now, just because I wasn't in love with Jackie doesn't mean I didn't care about her. She was genuinely sweet and innocent, and I couldn't bare to see her sad or upset.
It was only a few weeks later that I built up the courage to tell her, mind you I gave no clue as to how I really felt, in fact I made it seem like everything was just dandy, which in hindsight wasn't the best idea. Of course, when I told her she was really confused. She asked me "Why? Why?" and I said "I'm sorry, I just don't think you're the one for me." At this point her sadness began to turn to anger. Something I had never seen in her before suddenly began to show. She said, "how dare you have the audacity to lead me on for so long. You know what? Fuck you." The words "fuck you" would have hurt less if she hadn't smiled and started walking away. But as I sat there, ashamed of what I had done, she did the worst thing she could have done to me. She turned back with tears running down her face and said, "I really did love you." And continued walking away. That must have been one of the worst days of my life. Eventually the sadness subsided, and she forgot all about me, which was probably for the best. Not once in our whole relationship did we ever say "I love you" to one another. But if I could go back and change what I did, I would have never gone out with her. I would have never gotten back together with her. I would have never led her on to believe that I loved her. And I would have never broken her heart.
Tags: bad break ups
I want to share my story just to ease some pain...You know the worst part is when you have no one around you to share your feelings.....
I am from a typical Indian family.A girl who has always loved her parents more than anything in her life. Wanted to be with them always, take care of them. Infact I had decided that I'm never going to marry anyone ever.So, I never allowed myself to have any soft corner for anyone. I was happy but then someday I got a message from some old batchmate of mine on Facebook. Gradually we started chatting, sharing thoughts, jokes, started talking on phone and literally got addicted to each other. I started considering him as my best friend. He has always been real nice to me, always convinced me that one day I will find someone who will accept myself with all my responsibilities and will respect and love my parents like his own. And then after 6 months the day came when he proposed me. I was already having a hint of this from the past couple of days. I really liked him but had never thought about him like that because we had same gotra (we Indians are prohibited to marry someone with same gotra) . I never wanted to disclose my feelings to him but also didn't want to hurt him with a 'NO', So I told him this all gotra thing and convinced him to just be friends. But with time we just got drifted away and started living in an illusion that something will happen and we will be together in future...Decided that we will convince our parents and will marry with their permission....Started planning our lives together, fully committed, making all the promises to be together till the end, never realizing that they were all just dreams...We were madly, deeply in love. We completely accepted eachother as husband and wife...I was sure of one thing that it was not physical attraction though he was no less than Prince charming...I mean how could it be ...We haven't met each other for the last 7 years...
Time passed....We were so in love... I had never realized that this much love existed on earth. Even the feeling of having him with me made me so comfortable, cozy, relaxed...I felt so complete with him.....I never even required to say what I was feeling,,,we just not needed any words to express each other...
Then one day somehow my parents found out about us....I told them how much I love him and also assured them that I will never do anything without their permission....They were so mad at me...They said straight forward NO just because I being a female was having higher education that him...There was a big emotional drama......I tried my best to convince them but all in vain......And finally asked me to choose between them and him...This was even before I could tell them about gotra thing.....After all this I realized one thing that they are never going to accept us and if I somehow force them to or do something on my own, he will never get the respect he deserves....I love him but I respect him more.....I just can't bear this fact that my family don't respect my husband.....So, I broke up with him...Told him that they think that we will have ego clashes in future....He hates me for this...I know...Infact I hate myself too for this.....I feel so sorry that I couldn'd keep all the promises we made.....Everytime I think about this it feels like something cuts me from inside.....I know in this relationship it was me who was unfair.....It's been long time since we broke up but still every night I silently weep thinking about him...I still love him and miss him so much.....He was my first and last love......I know I will never be able to feel the same way again.....I am all broken.....People says that time heals all the wounds but in my case I feel like this pain is increasing day by day....This regret, this pain is my punishment.....And now I myself don't want to let it go...At least in this way he is with me....I know that I can never have him back but still wait for him forever.....And if some day I got to know about his marriage I will be the first person to be happy for him,,,at least he has moved on....
Tags: bad break ups
So I was friends with this boy for about a year and a half before we started dating. He was in the Marine Core. I actually met him when he was going through a divorce with his high school sweet heart who cheated on him with 20 different guys that he worked with. He went on deployment and we become Facebook friends and started talking all the time and skyping everyday. We talked about absolutely everything for hours. He came back and and we then went out a few times with his friends to the bars and had fun. This one weekend all his friends rented a hotel room and in the same weekend my roommate was being a bitch and locked me out, so i ended up sleeping in there hotel room. He was always such a gentlemen and walked me to my car and helped me move it before we went back to the room. We decided just to hang out with each other. We went back to the room, and laid on the bed and just stared at each other. nothing happened and we cuddle. After that we started having movie nights together and he would beg his friends to bring him to my house because he didn't have a car. well, about a month after that, we decided to drink. and then one thing led to another and he kissed me. and then the weekend after we ended up sleeping with each other. and he just started coming over a lot and we were best friends. always with each other. about 2 months after that, we went on a booze cruise and he proclaimed his love to me. I told him to call me in the morning and that i didn't believe him because he was drinking. He called me in the morning sober and said it. (FIRST TIME IN LOVE) i liked him so much, his girly side, his stupidity, the fact that we would always get ready together and take showers with each other. about a month after that he just stopped texting me as much , and he was getting out of the military. the day he left, he told me how much he loved me but that we were not going to do distance.. well he didn't talk to me for four months. Just left and nothing. I googled his name and saw he had a dating website and he had been talking to girls the whole time in our relationship. I flipped shit and sent him nasty texts. four months later he tried talking to me and told me still that he loves me and that he would be 100 percent with me if we were in the same town. He also said how much he has liked this one girl in high school his whole life and going for her. I thought everything was so twisted. It hurts so much to this day. i want it to be a struggle to remember his name
When I was 20, and not long after I had gotten out of another relationship I started seeing a guy who I was incredibly attracted too (and i think that may have been one of the only reasons I was with him) He was tall, dark hair, blue eyes and very muscular. I'll call him Dave for this story. So Dave and I started dating and we weren't together long before sleeping together. We were all over each other, but one day I discovered that he was putting a condom on then taking it off without me noticing before we had sex. Needless to say I got pregnant. At first I was completely smitten by him and I was convinced along with all my friends and family that he would stand by me. But before I discovered I was pregnant things started getting a little weird. I noticed he tried to dominate me, just with things like asking me to get the light or make a cup of tea but he demeaned me greatly if I didn't do it. He also kept giving me back-handed compliments like 'I don't like piercings but you SOMEHOW manage to stay pretty even with them' He didn't like me taking my bra off during sex because my breasts were a turn off but he liked having my top off because he still thought I was mostly sexy, didn't like hanging out with me friends, or stop over at my place, would always choose what was on tv even if I didn't like it, (which was usually the case) and the same with music. It was a disaster but just seeing him got me flustered so I put up with it. He told me he didn't want the baby but he'd stick by me if I chose to keep it which I did. Much to my surprise (but looking back it should have been obvious) he dumped me, refused to have anything to do with the kid, tried again 4 weeks after breaking up to get me to get rid of the baby, blamed the whole thing on me and said I just did it for attention so he shouldn't have to be a dad. After my son was born I tried to get child support off him but he claimed he wasn't the dad and refused a DNA test. I would love to get him back one day but I started dating my current boyfriend when I was 7 months pregnant who I had known before hand. He quit a job he loved to get a better paid one, borrowed money off his family to get a nice, decent house for all three of us to live in and asked me not to take money of Dave because as far as he's aware my son is his and he will support him not some jackass that's not man enough to take responsibility. We are now looking into my boyfriend adopting our son, and as a Christmas present I changed our son's second name to his. He cried he was so happy. I was 20, at uni, my family lived in a different country and I was living on my mates couch at the time I got pregnant...just goes to show you that when life is hard there are still some good people you can depends on.
So, I'm eighteen now but I'm going to rewind a year to my sophomore year..
~2 YEARS AGO~
When I was 16 I moved to California from Atlanta.. When I got here I was well known because of my skin color and my suprising hair length.. I got some secret admirers during the first few months and some not so secret admirers.. For the most part I had a very small group of girl friends but a large group of acquaintances.. Everyone I knew I was introduced to by one of my friends.. I was invited to a party about a month after I arrived by one of my friends (let's call her Becca). So Becca introduced me to three guys at the party (Let's call them Luke, Nate, and Daniel). So Luke and I really hit it off and we started to hang out.. Everywhere Becca took me Luke was there.. After another month of us hanging out we officially started dating.. He was so sweet to me and I remember always thinking.. 'I'm so in love with this guy'.. We spent every moment together and he treated me so well.. When I got a job at this tanning spa he would always bring me food and gifts.. After another month of this he started to disappear.. I wasn't really worried about it at the time because I was a dumb love-struck child.. After a few weeks of absence with only phone calls he reappeared and his charm was in over-drive.. Around this time rumors started floating around school that I was a slut and all that shit and that Luke got me pregnant.. I asked him about it and he just insisted that they were jealous and told me he loved me.. He told me this every day five times a day almost for the next three weeks.. And then he proposed... (Yes, he proposed to me at 16.. And my dumb ass said 'yes') Welp.. I lost my virginity that night.. (Don't judge me.. He's a con-artist) And the gifts, the visits, the 'I love you's, the calls, everything.. Stopped. I was still infatuated with him and I refused to believe he used me.. He never proposed with a ring which should've told me that he wasn't serious but I thought him saying 'I love you' was good enough.. The rumors at school got worse in his absence and I heard an interesting theory swirling around.. It was a bet. I refused to believe it at first until I decided to ask Becca about it.. She just cried and cried and cried.. She kept telling me she was sorry and she didn't know he would actually do it.. Turns out my 'friends' Nate and Daniel bet Luke $200 dollars that he couldn't take my virginity before the year was up.. TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS IS WHAT MY VIRTUE MEANT TO THEM!! Luke came back to school a month later and acted as if I was invisible.. I stopped talking to all my friends and found a new group.. I confronted Luke a week later and he said he just fell out of love and the bet never existed which I know is bullshit because he somehow got a new paintjob for his car.. I didn't cry.. I wasn't sad.. I was pissed beyond words.. He dismissed me so easily after he took something that was meant for my husband.. I could've hurt him as easily.. I thought about slashing his tires or something like that but in the long run I didn't do anything that could get me in trouble.. I let it go. It's been two years since then and I have a new boyfriend.. His name is Chris! I love him sooo much and unlike Luke we're taking it slow because we both know what it's like to get hurt.. I've spoken to Luke once since the confrontation and that was to curse him out and vent a little bit.. Which ultimately ended in him walking away and me slapping him.. I hope Luke finds someone good so that when he does some shit like that to her and she leaves he'll know how other people feel when he mistreats them.. Chris and I are in love.. And I'm sure this time because it feels different than the love I had for Luke.. It feels natural.. I guess I felt strained in my relationship with Luke without realizing it because I had nothing to compare it to.. Just in case you were wondering.. Yes. My parents know what Luke did to me and his parents know too.. I'm not going to share what happened because that's between our families but I'll tell you Luke owes my family a lot of money.. This experience has made me stronger in more ways than one and more alert.. Before you judge me you have to remember I was naive and sixteen.. With college time nearing and my upcoming move to L.A. with Chris I can let go of all the scars that my move to California gave me because I got lots of opportunities too! If anything like this happens to you know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.. I found my light! This is for the girls.. Save your V-Card.. You only have one and make sure it counts and he really deserves it.. I made the fatal mistake to give it to someone who saw it is nothing more than a bet and hasn't even apologized.. I hope you learned something from my mistake.. Byeeee!
Tags: depresse d
We broke up on Wednesday, he was already chasing after another girl on Thursday. Now it's the next Tuesday and they're dating. I was replaced so easily and I can't get the image of them together out of my head, I can't stop crying. He's so heartless, he won't even return my calls or texts or anything. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't even go to my classes. I'm so angry.
Tags: So Bad it's funny
My girlfriend and I were dating for a few months, and things were going really great until I felt pressured to tell her I loved her. I didn't want to be the one to cut things off because she told me about her post breakup anorexia, so I waited, getting more miserable because she never listened to my feelings. One weekend she invited me to her house, which was an ordeal because she didn't include me with her family or friends, and I got into an argument with her. On the way back to college, she broke up with me in front of her mom and sister. I couldn't believe it. She said she thought I needed help and that she couldn't talk it out because she needed to eat lunch with her family, but she contacted my dad and friends to let them know how distraught I was before I could. Later when I asked over Facebook if she would give me a movie ticket I paid for that she was holding for me, she said that she gave it to her stepmom. I proceeded to call her a bitch. Soon after I was greeted by a message from her father saying he called the police. Nothing happened, but during the next week or two, she proceeded to blog about me numerous times after saying she didn't blame me. Once I used the private blog she recommended to me to process things, but she passed my link to all her friends and one of them compared my to the shat out remains of Hitler after reblogging what I thought was a private post. Needless to say we are not on speaking terms.
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