Searching for "hope"

141 Results For 'hope'

Bobby

November 01, 2015 @ (Toronto)

So I can't believe I'm doing this. Maybe some therapy so that I don't lose my head.

When I was about 12 or 13 I woke up from a horrible nightmare that wasn't easy to understand or describe. I was in a sweat and could hardly breath. The only way I could put into words to my parents was that it felt like I had a 10 million dollar ticket and watched the wind blow it from my hand and was gone forever. I feel now that this was a premonition for things to come. Almost like an intense ripple felt through time.

Flash forward 13 years, I'm 25 and I see the most beautiful girl sitting in the lunch room at work. Keep in mind that I'm a very shy type and for just once in my life I through caution to the wind. I had to talk with this girl she was a dream. I think from that point we talked on the phone every night, we had incredible adventures through conversation I felt like I had met my soulmate. Also we had an incredible physical chemistry. Late nights in my parents basement by the fire and nothing else mattered...the body heat and passion was intense, 2 souls coming together and best of all talking about life into the early morning hours. I was a struggling artist you see, working evenings at the shop and trying to make my dreams come true during the days. She didn't seem to care, we were lost in our own little world.

1 year turned into 2, and 2 into 3...and I never lost the passion, every day seeing her was like Christmas eve. Around that time she was finishing school and I was away in Europe doing fashion modelling. God she hated me doing that, being around other women but she had nothing to fear. She was my everything, my whole world and I was just trying to find a way to make life work with the struggles of being an artist.

Years passed and the modelling did not yield the money I had hoped. The girl I loved was growing up, she graduated school and was just offered her first grown up job. At the time I was starting my software company, god damn I wish some days that I could just put on a suit and tie. She was doing great and I can say that I just was not at my best...that's when I'm sure thoughts of children and a white picket fence crossed her mind. From every day after that she grew more distant. It's a horrible feeling of helplessness. Like sand sifting through your fingers.

It's been about 3 years (I think) since we broke up. She has since moved on and met someone else. I was really angry when I first found out, but I'm just not convinced that she would have the life she wants if we were still together. I'm married to my work and she deserves better.

The saddest part of the story? I'm sitting here telling it to you over the internet. I've dated other women, but I just can't stop being in love with another. These relationships fail because I have to end them, it's just not fair for the other individual. Never in my life have I been wounded like this, and the years haven't healed a thing.

It's unbearable dealing with all the pain and anger, but deep down knowing that the woman I love more than anything else in the world would be better off without me....

Shayla2

October 13, 2015 @ (Somewhereintheus)

Tags: breakup

I met him online. He was different than my abusive ex-husband or any of the other pigs I had "dated" after ending it with my ex-husband. He seemed stable and career driven. We were inseparable yet we made a long distance relationship work for 3 yrs. He would come and see me every weekend. It felt normal. No arguing, no stress.I thought it was how a relationship was supposed to be. He got out of the military and moved in with me. We talked about a future but not in this way, not this soon. He had a hard time finding work and I found myself taking care of him financially and emotionally. He became like a 4th child. Things changed between us but not in a drastic way. He was married when I met him. He was going through a divorce but not on his own accord. Deep down inside, he did not want the divorce from his wife even though she did. He secretly took care of her even though he had no money to take care of himself. He continued to lie to me for years about his intentions with getting a divorce and every lie seemed believable. I held on because he was living with me and giving me more than he gave her. After 4 yrs of no divorce and no real commitment (Ring), I started to raise questions. He became nervous and fearful of losing what we had. He did the stupidest thing that sent our relationship spiraling. He proposed to me with a fake ring and lied to me about the value of the ring. His intentions may have been pure but his motives were not. He was fearful that I would ask him to move out and he had to do something to secure his spot in my home. It was only a matter of time (1 day) that I realized the ring was fake. He still lied about it. The lies continued for months about anything and everything to include the divorce that he "supposedly filed" but never did. Each lie drove me further away from him until it came to the point that I asked him to move out. It was a hard step for me because although I did not enjoy the lies, I enjoyed the companionship when I wanted/needed it and I enjoyed the security that he offered. He moved out with hopes that we would be back together. After he moved out, I realized how much I did not miss the lies and the stupidity he brought into my life. I realized we were not the perfect match that I thought we were. We still keep in touch but he thinks there is hope for us and there isn't. I have closed that chapter in my life ( I think anyways).

Sophie

September 21, 2015 @ (Uk)

Tags: Breakup

I met this guy online. I was in the process of ending a 3 year relationship. He came out of the blue, we started talking, texting, skype and we talked hours on the phone. He told me I was Mrs. Right and that he was going to marry me. I fell so jard for him. He lives in another stTe and i was making plans to visit him next month and eventually move there we had so much in common. He used the right words, he was everything I wanted. I was in lo e like I habe never been. He needed to get a job because his mom was going to kick him out and since he wasn't studying because his parents are facing a financial situation he needed a job and also because he has a project and needs money to accomplish that. He found a job and it was good he was happy and I was happy for him. He wanted to be the best at it and just succeed I totally understand that I told him I support you, we are a team. His schedule was hectic and some days he worked 16 hours. We barely talked and he told me that this was going to be at first until everything settle. We fouvht because there were days I didn't heard from him, and we fix it, then we fouvht again. He became distNt and stop saying i love you. I sent him a package with stuff and he put it as his profile picture then 2 weeks ago changed it. I told him lets forget our problems lets just focus on the future and support each other blahblah he didn't reply so i said okay nextday he said sorry i just read it and i was having a bad moment so couldnt reply. We havent talked he said that two saturdays ago so last wednesday i texted saying whats up noreply but he texted wuth my friend he ignores me. I turned my phone off since thursday because i have been crying for two weeks, i feel dead inside. I dont eat, cant sleep i am so depressed and i have my plane ticket and i dont know if i should go or not. I dont know what to do. This is the first breakup that made me feel like there is no more hope that maybe he has anew gf or he just played with me. Or that i am not worth fighting for.ido feel worthless and cant stop crying. Also i lost mu job so i dont have anything to look forward

D

August 24, 2015 @ (India)

Tags: So sorry!

We were close friends... but eventually friendship turned to love..he loved me soo much..so did I ..after school we got together.. we met once every month, spoke every day...he sent me his pics.. everything was perfect...until now..just a few weeks back in july 2015... i sent him a collage with our pics and a message..after that i was having my important university examination ( Medicine) so i could not call or text him much..but still i felt that he was avoiding me.. in the midst i tried texting and calling him a zillion times... he never answered my calls..neither did he respond to my text messages... but i was not ready to believe that he would cheat on me... i contacted our school friends..i mean we all were pretty close.. i told them that he was doing this..they told me that they have also stopped getting information from him.. i was alarmed.. they said don't worry and don't spoil your exams..thankfully in the midst of so much anxiety i was able to do my most important exams in life..... and he had told one of my friends who called him upon hearing my complains..the truth behind his avoidance.. but she refused to tell me.. because she was scared of me spoiling my exams..i understood that something was terribly wrong..i waited..yesterday at last my exams got over... she called me at 11:00pm... it was a conference call..three friends... she began.. i listened... his parents saw the collage... his mom cried...and stopped talking to him for two days..his dad still doesn't speak to him... he was beaten... they feel that this is not a serious relationship..and that their son is giving me false hopes..iam a doctor..he is studying for Bcom... his mom said all these.. her parents will never agree..you are playing with her feelings..you will never get settled before her..allow her to live... :'( and made him promise upon Holy Quran .. that he won't speak to me or see me again.. he has decided to lead a bachelor life... :( i cried bitterly... i was helpless..so was he... if he had cheated on me..i could at least hate him.. but we still love each other soo much and yet....i spent sleepless nights..i can't cope....we could not hear each others voices for one last time.. :( ... I don't wanna be any one else's but his... and yes,,, i will wait... i will wait for him... i won't let him go... let me ask my parents when it's time.... the rest I leave to God..... My God had never disappointed me... and I believe in him.. he won't disappoint me any further... Cuz it's our first love.. and I want it to be our first and only love..... <3

Nate

August 03, 2015 @ (europe)

Tags: Bad break up

Once upon a time I was dating a girl for a few months, I was in love with her and was really enjoying it. We had our ups and down , on the last month though we were doing pretty well. until the summer break came , so we were going to spend about a month apart, in our hometowns. A few days after she left she started to show some kind of unconcern about me, and phone calls reduced. the duration of phone calls also reduced. I understood that things were going bad, even I was complained some times to her .But I believed that it was just the distance, or that I was overreacting and overthinking it. I was very sad, angry and unsecure at that time but I tried not to show it, most of the times, not to make things worse and I just waited to get back together to see what is actually going on. But the last few days before we return to the city we were studying, she started to talk to me really cold on the phone without any obvious reason. So I decided not to talk to her again and see how far this apathy and unconcern goes. So one day we closed the phone, and didn't call her again. Neither did she. She detached and then she got lost, just like that... So I decided after a few days to call her, as I knew she had already arived, and I asked her to meet and talked,she agreed but she said she was very busy with going out with friends and she told me me that she wasn't sure about when we are going to meet. This was very offensive, I felt very bad that it was so hard for her to find 20 minutes to discuss with me the problem..just because she was going out a lot with friends. I was sure then that we were breaking up, So the next day I just sent her a text and I said her that we were breaking up, with the hope that if it was important for her to be together, she would try a just a bit. But she replied and said that she also wanted to break up. My heart teared apart at that time. Something that once was good, ended with a 2-lines text and a goodbye. I am very sad about it, some day I will feel better I suppose, but today is not that day.

I talk to people about it and most of them act like it's nothing, and respond to me with stuff like you will find another one etc. At first I was feeling but about being so hurt, but a loss like this causes pain , and it feels better now that I accepted that pain is just normal in cases like this and eventually it will pass, but not today.

Ash

July 26, 2015 @ (manila)

Tags: Sad breakup

i met a man that i fall inlove with. But he's always been a player and a womaniser. He hurt me emotionally many times since the beginning. But i still keep believing on him though i have so many doubts. He cheated on me so i decided to break up with him and i never contact him again since we were on long distance relationship at that moment. Every after a week i will receive a message from saying he made a big mistake and he hopes to see me again. Apologising but still i didnt accept him for almost 10 months. All this time im still inlove with him and i really dont know why. I always wish to see him again and be with him. One day he miscalled me and we started talking again. He came to see me right away to make things right, thats what he said. It was good, we were very happy together. Now he have to leave again for few months for work, back to long distance relationship again. I always worry about it coz i know its possible for him to do the same thing he did to me before. He knows how much i wanted him so he took it for granted. Well i found out again that he's entertaining someone other than me, and he's been lying to me all the time. Though he always tell me about being serious about me and promising that someday we will be together marrying me and have kids, everything which is really good to hear. When i found out about the other girl, he goes defensive and everything was messed up. So we decided again to finish the relationship, i dont know why he's the one who gets mad after i found out about what he did. Telling me that i should've not talk to the girl and ask questions about what is going on between them since the girl told me that she's his girlfriend and been talkimg for 2 months already. My ex now tries to make up things about what is really going on. I hate the fact that im so inlove with him that i let him broke my heart into so many pieces. I wanted to forget him.

Eve D

June 28, 2015 @ (Cali)

Tags: Betrayed, hurt, heartache

I dated this boy for a year and a half. We were great together, we spent every day together. He was so crazy in love with me and he did everything for me. About a couple months ago I started to notice a change in him. We started to argue a lot and I finally just realized that he wasn't the one for me. The night we broke up he was at another girls house. And a month later they are together. I guess the reason he was different was because he liked her. I don't understand how you can move on from a year and a half relationship so fast. It makes me question everything. So, while he is out with his new girl and having the best time I am stuck with all the heart ache. Ive never felt so betrayed in my life. The girl was one of my friends. I hope that he gets what is coming towards him one day. I hope one day he hurts as much as I've been hurting. It's getting easier with time, but I still have them days like today where I am angry, hurt and bitter. Has anyone been through anything like this and how did you over come it?

LP

June 13, 2015 @ (Philippines)

Tags: hope, love, time, heartache, pain,

You know what's hard?it's when you wake up one morning and you're no longer wanted. That's how I felt when he broke my heart for a one night stand... AGAIN. My friends think that I'm stupid by staying in a relationship that we all know is doomed the first time he cheated on me. But I can't help it. I love him, more than his mistakes. I thought that if I'm gonna give him a chance he'll change. And he told me he would. I hold on to the hope that I was the one he always wants and need. Then one night as he was sleeping beside me I had this weird feeling that i need to check his phone. I know its my fault. I should not go thru his stuff coz I believe that what you don't know won't hurt you. But I did and hell I found out every thing. He saw me and he knew by the look in my eyes that I'm hurting. I'm not mad and I'm not even sad. I felt like I'm going to explode. Maintaining my calmness I took his had and gave him the phone, I made sure that when he look at the screen he would see everything I saw on his phone. I dressed up and leave but he would not let go of me. He was crying, begging for us to talk and make things right. I can't even say a word. My eyes just burst in tears, my heart beats fast and my breathing starts to be so deep feels like I'm drowning. Maybe I'm drowning with everything. I felt tired and all I want is to sit beside him. He was crying and I never expected him asking for my forgiveness. He was like a child, as I looked at him I felt something breaking inside my soul I feel responsible for the pain he's feeling. I'm not sure why, but it feels like I have to stay...with him and make sure that things will be okay. Maybe someday I will learn to walk away with everything. I'm not sure when and I don't know how but maybe just maybe I can still hold on to that hope that people do change... hopefully for the better.

So_fi8

May 03, 2015 @ (bangalore)

Tags: sad

where to start form?i loved him so much it almost took my breath away when we broke up, we dated fr almost 2 years,well it's wasn't a mormal reltationship,he had another gf,i found out almost an year later,decided to leave him,but somewhere couldn't.i don't know weather I was wrong to stick around or I was too much in love?bt I never wanted him to break up wit her n move wit me,i always wated him to b wit a right person.as the time goes on my feelings were getting stronger,but was stuck to move out,i tired to ignored I mean almost everything,but failed,i m not regreat to have meet him in my life,just sad he never was mine,at the we choose to broke up,i hope he will do grt without me,so will I,I wish nothong but the best for him.i

Ryan

April 16, 2015 @ (United States)

Tags: Bad Breakup

Exactly a year ago I met someone special, the moment I set my eyes on her I knew she was something of one of a kind, I was a typical high school student and she was as well. It took me a month before I worked the courage to speak to her and my gut was right, she was the most beautiful person I have ever met. She was weird and quirky and funny and stupidly silly. The school year ended and thats when it started to get serious. We spent our summer together and did many things, she taught me how to swim(because I never trusted anyone around water due to my hydrophobia) and we went on vacation together(her parents payed for my trip lol) It was honestly one of the happiest times of my life. We barely fought and if we did we made up each time like it was nothing and moved on with our days. I grew blinded by my affection soon after, I loved this girl and I was terrified to admit it. Soon after the next school year started, I could feel the distance happening. Which caused me to become jealous, scared, etc I was panicking and didn't know what to do. I could see it coming and it did. She broke up with me, telling me she didn't want a relationship right now blah blah blah. I crashed and burned, I was so devastated that I just wanted to hurt myself(of course I didn't) she then led me on for a few months, would kiss me, try and comfort me when I was down, she even came over to my house and slept with me, but in the end she would always use that excuse and it pushed me even further down... causing me to push her even further away without realizing it... Ever sense then I've just been realizing what I did wrong and been bettering myself, dating new people most guys would say my life has been pretty great for some of the girls that are chasing me.. but all I can continue to think about is her. The one that got away. That all I can do is pray because I knew her reason of leaving me was complete crap, especially since she's with someone else now. I just wish her the best while I sit and wish I had the best. She's still deep in my heart and I see people hating on their ex and everything, but even though she did me wrong I can't help but wish she has the best for her. I just know that if I was with her now, things would have been much different and she'd still be mine, but that's my new found confidence that I will hope to be able to use with someone of the same or better amount to offer... I've learned a lot and even though I still am upset about her, maybe we're better off. Or maybe it was the bad timing, I'm now 18 and i'm still young. Life ahead of me is something to shine about.