Searching for "hope"


135 Results For 'hope'

Sergeidragunov45

November 30, 2015 @ (pegasusland )

Tags: muffin sushimuis clisje neko-chan broken heartache manuel muurbloem jason gregory house


About nine months ago, my girlfriend and I broke up. We had a relationship for about 4 years, but it felt like we knew eachother much longer because we saw eachother almost every day and we hardly ever had a fight. My (ex) girlfriend was a beautiful indonesian girl with mesmerizing dark brown eyes and the prettiest smile ive ever seen before. we had a lot in common and I love her like crazy ( i still do).The reason for our breakup was because of the fact that my parents are very traditional (im chinese btw) and strict. So that means that I am not allowed to date a girl that wasnt from the same root as mine and we are raised to have maximum respect for elder people, especially parents. In the beginning when we just started dating, my parents acted cool towards our relationship. that was because they didnt thought it was serious and they saw it more like friendship. But later when i told them that we are really boyfriend and girlfriend, they became mad and wanted me to find a chinese girl. I didnt listen to them and I Always had an argument with my parents because I love that girl so much. This went on for several years until that one moment i've had it all enough of all that fighting with my parents. Later ive been thinking about breaking up with her but i couldnt do it, i love her to much to lose her. I said before that im chinese and chinese people have a lot of respect for parents. so I told my parents: This is enough, I had it with all this fighting. I'll do whatever you want and break up with her''. This was the toughest I had to do in my life and when i saw her and didnt even told her in person. I broke up with her per text, because i couldnt watch her cry and suffer. I thought that i would get over her and that i would be one line again with my parents, but i was so miserably wrong. I still had arguments with my parents about other stuff and this went from bad to worse. plus i dont have my girlfriend to talk to about this stuff and support me. i thought that it would get better in the future but i was wrong again. its still the same it Always has been the same and now Ive lost the love of my life. I think about her everyday and i just cant forget her. everytime when I lay in bed i pretend that my cushion is her and that i hug her while I sleep and I even dream about her almost every night. I know that i sound like a complete idiot right now but i really still suffer. She moved on with her life and I still pretend in my imagination that I still have her. maybe i became mad or maybe im just an idiot. but one things for sure, this wound hasnt been healed a little bit and it wont be in a long time. it probably never will. but one thing is for sure, I still love her and I hope she will find happiness in the future, with me or without me.


       

Saleena

November 18, 2015 @ (Australia )

Tags: broken heart


OK well a few weeks ago a guy broke my heart into millions of pieces and i couldn't do anything about ..... could i ??? honestly i still have hope that we will get back together but in my mind he has made it pretty clear he doesn't like me anymore cause he has a crush on someone else and has successfully started dating her ...But people have different ways of moving on and im just doing it slowly he has his reasons for breaking up with me that i didn't see and still dont know why . This would have been the 2nd time we went out the first time was as good but the 2nd time was better we improved on the things we needed to be improved on and i am still strongly in love with him and its going to take me a while to get over but honestly YES i am ONLY 13 but age is just a number all my friends have told me i will get over it just like he has but i honestly cant he is the only person i want my heart to be broken by. the reason im writing this isn't to show people, i just want to get this out of my head and see if it it sounds as stupid as people think. i don't know why but he has broken my heart twice and every time i haven't been able to hate him or dis like him or love him less than i do i know his feelings are gone and he doesn't like/love me anymore but no matter how hard i try and trust me i have tried these feelings wont disappear but why aren't i surprised this one absolutely amazing guy has taken my heart and cased a spell on me i don't no how to deal with these things im only 13 and i have fallen deeply in love. All my friends think he is an awful person for breaking up with me the way he did which was through my friend on a phone call and obviously i was in tears but it was kind he said he didn't want to do it in person cause he didn't want to see me cry.... which i did in fact cry quite ALOT. i have honestly never cried over a guy besides him both times i have cried when he broken up with me and every single time i always fall for him again why... THIS PAIN that i get every time im around him kills me i struggle some days seeing him smiling and laughing with other girls it makes me notice that he has moved on and he actually deserves a better girl than me i made his life stressful that's all i could give to him not love and comfort but stress. i still love him like seriously who couldn't fall in love with a guy like him he is all i think about every single second minute and hour of the day. know im looking back and the time we shared together, the best days of my high school year was the days i spent with him. If i did show any one this i know they will say im just 13 i will find someone again and all of that, that i have heard PLENTY of times. One of the reasons why i have fallen in love with him is cause when he is with me he is a completely different person he is loving comforting and over all just AMAZING and i feel like a different person, every time we were on the phone would be the most memorable moments, we would talk about the future and what it would be like and all of those amazing things but know that has all gone to waste In one letter he wrote me on our 1 month in the end it said i may hold your hand for a while but you will hold my heart forever and i don't know if that was true but at the time i did believe it and he does and will hold my heart forever. Everything i said to him was true, he may not believe it but its true. I AM TRULY SORRY FOR SCREWING THINGS UP WITH HIM and i hate myself everyday for it that it was my fault he is out of my life likely to be FOREVER and i cant control that. i have made a lot of mistakes in my life but loosing him would be the one that i regret and wish i could change the way things turned out for us but I cant control his feelings and at the moment i cant control my own feelings either at the moment all i do know is that i have fallen deeply in love with this absolutely amazing guy ......
^^^
THAT IS MY STORY


       

Noy

November 02, 2015 @ (Los Angeles )

Tags: Everything happens for a reason


We met my sophomore year of high school, his junior. He was tall, lean, blonde and gorgeous. At the beginning, I was normal. I treated him right and gave him everything. Gave him my virginity a couple months in, there was nothing I wouldnt give him. But a year and a half had passed so quickly. I didnt notice how awful of a person i had became. I was so irritated by his stupidity, even when he was not stupid. I was angry and I felt trapped, I blamed him for my sadness. I treated him so terrible and I took his love for granted. Though, after a year I had began noticing my abuse to him and decided i wanted to be better for him. I began changing, showing him my love, spoiling him. I wanted to make it up to him. But my damage was done. In the remaining months of our relationship when we first got out first job, he began talking to this girl. He started to not call me, text me, see me. I would ask him why and he responded that he didn't know why. That he forgot. The now and then we did hang, he was texting her. He said she was helping him pursue his dream of drawing. I said okay. He just grew so distant and I was growing so attached. The day he broke up with me was outside my house, I was late for work but needed to see him since he used every excuse to not see me. He finally did, and we broke up. I lead it on. I knew he wasnt happy, that i didnt make him happy. So i encouraged him to break up, and that we were going to be okay. He cried. I did too. He agreed and he ended it. Except... he kissed me goodbye. That was when I felt such pain and disbelief, how could i have let him go? i drove to work in tears, almost got into an accident. I was such a mess and in such a shock. I texted him i didnt want to break up, he didnt reply. I ended up calling and he picked up, explaining this is what he wanted, then saying it wasnt, then saying it was, then saying it wasnt. So i indeed kept hope. We made a deal that he would come to his decision the following thursday a week from then. I kept hope. I called him that monday asking id he had made a decision, he said yes. He made it a while ago, but he wasnt going to tell me till friday. That break up was the most painful thing i have ever dealt with. I had a lot of problems that he only knew about, i was open with him completely. Trusted him. Love him. I had made him my world and left all my friends. When he dumped me, I had no one. So i rebounded. cried. rebounded. cried. Then realized that everything happens for a reason. In this case, i was a terrible person to him. He brought out the worse in me. He didnt deserve it. Im glad he dumped me, i wouldnt have worked hard to change my ways. He wouldnt have been so happy. Hes the one who got away and I miss him. Will always love him. And I am sorry.


       

Noy

November 02, 2015 @ (Los Angeles )

Tags: Everything happens for a reason


We met my sophomore year of high school, his junior. He was tall, lean, blonde and gorgeous. At the beginning, I was normal. I treated him right and gave him everything. Gave him my virginity a couple months in, there was nothing I wouldnt give him. But a year and a half had passed so quickly. I didnt notice how awful of a person i had became. I was so irritated by his stupidity, even when he was not stupid. I was angry and I felt trapped, I blamed him for my sadness. I treated him so terrible and I took his love for granted. Though, after a year I had began noticing my abuse to him and decided i wanted to be better for him. I began changing, showing him my love, spoiling him. I wanted to make it up to him. But my damage was done. In the remaining months of our relationship when we first got out first job, he began talking to this girl. He started to not call me, text me, see me. I would ask him why and he responded that he didn't know why. That he forgot. The now and then we did hang, he was texting her. He said she was helping him pursue his dream of drawing. I said okay. He just grew so distant and I was growing so attached. The day he broke up with me was outside my house, I was late for work but needed to see him since he used every excuse to not see me. He finally did, and we broke up. I lead it on. I knew he wasnt happy, that i didnt make him happy. So i encouraged him to break up, and that we were going to be okay. He cried. I did too. He agreed and he ended it. Except... he kissed me goodbye. That was when I felt such pain and disbelief, how could i have let him go? i drove to work in tears, almost got into an accident. I was such a mess and in such a shock. I texted him i didnt want to break up, he didnt reply. I ended up calling and he picked up, explaining this is what he wanted, then saying it wasnt, then saying it was, then saying it wasnt. So i indeed kept hope. We made a deal that he would come to his decision the following thursday a week from then. I kept hope. I called him that monday asking id he had made a decision, he said yes. He made it a while ago, but he wasnt going to tell me till friday. That break up was the most painful thing i have ever dealt with. I had a lot of problems that he only knew about, i was open with him completely. Trusted him. Love him. I had made him my world and left all my friends. When he dumped me, I had no one. So i rebounded. cried. rebounded. cried. Then realized that everything happens for a reason. In this case, i was a terrible person to him. He brought out the worse in me. He didnt deserve it. Im glad he dumped me, i wouldnt have worked hard to change my ways. He wouldnt have been so happy. Hes the one who got away and I miss him. Will always love him. And I am sorry.


       

Bobby

November 01, 2015 @ (Toronto)

Tags: Tragic Love story


So I can't believe I'm doing this. Maybe some therapy so that I don't lose my head.

When I was about 12 or 13 I woke up from a horrible nightmare that wasn't easy to understand or describe. I was in a sweat and could hardly breath. The only way I could put into words to my parents was that it felt like I had a 10 million dollar ticket and watched the wind blow it from my hand and was gone forever. I feel now that this was a premonition for things to come. Almost like an intense ripple felt through time.

Flash forward 13 years, I'm 25 and I see the most beautiful girl sitting in the lunch room at work. Keep in mind that I'm a very shy type and for just once in my life I through caution to the wind. I had to talk with this girl she was a dream. I think from that point we talked on the phone every night, we had incredible adventures through conversation I felt like I had met my soulmate. Also we had an incredible physical chemistry. Late nights in my parents basement by the fire and nothing else mattered...the body heat and passion was intense, 2 souls coming together and best of all talking about life into the early morning hours. I was a struggling artist you see, working evenings at the shop and trying to make my dreams come true during the days. She didn't seem to care, we were lost in our own little world.

1 year turned into 2, and 2 into 3...and I never lost the passion, every day seeing her was like Christmas eve. Around that time she was finishing school and I was away in Europe doing fashion modelling. God she hated me doing that, being around other women but she had nothing to fear. She was my everything, my whole world and I was just trying to find a way to make life work with the struggles of being an artist.

Years passed and the modelling did not yield the money I had hoped. The girl I loved was growing up, she graduated school and was just offered her first grown up job. At the time I was starting my software company, god damn I wish some days that I could just put on a suit and tie. She was doing great and I can say that I just was not at my best...that's when I'm sure thoughts of children and a white picket fence crossed her mind. From every day after that she grew more distant. It's a horrible feeling of helplessness. Like sand sifting through your fingers.

It's been about 3 years (I think) since we broke up. She has since moved on and met someone else. I was really angry when I first found out, but I'm just not convinced that she would have the life she wants if we were still together. I'm married to my work and she deserves better.

The saddest part of the story? I'm sitting here telling it to you over the internet. I've dated other women, but I just can't stop being in love with another. These relationships fail because I have to end them, it's just not fair for the other individual. Never in my life have I been wounded like this, and the years haven't healed a thing.

It's unbearable dealing with all the pain and anger, but deep down knowing that the woman I love more than anything else in the world would be better off without me....


       

Shayla2

October 13, 2015 @ (Somewhereintheus)

Tags: breakup


I met him online. He was different than my abusive ex-husband or any of the other pigs I had "dated" after ending it with my ex-husband. He seemed stable and career driven. We were inseparable yet we made a long distance relationship work for 3 yrs. He would come and see me every weekend. It felt normal. No arguing, no stress.I thought it was how a relationship was supposed to be. He got out of the military and moved in with me. We talked about a future but not in this way, not this soon. He had a hard time finding work and I found myself taking care of him financially and emotionally. He became like a 4th child. Things changed between us but not in a drastic way. He was married when I met him. He was going through a divorce but not on his own accord. Deep down inside, he did not want the divorce from his wife even though she did. He secretly took care of her even though he had no money to take care of himself. He continued to lie to me for years about his intentions with getting a divorce and every lie seemed believable. I held on because he was living with me and giving me more than he gave her. After 4 yrs of no divorce and no real commitment (Ring), I started to raise questions. He became nervous and fearful of losing what we had. He did the stupidest thing that sent our relationship spiraling. He proposed to me with a fake ring and lied to me about the value of the ring. His intentions may have been pure but his motives were not. He was fearful that I would ask him to move out and he had to do something to secure his spot in my home. It was only a matter of time (1 day) that I realized the ring was fake. He still lied about it. The lies continued for months about anything and everything to include the divorce that he "supposedly filed" but never did. Each lie drove me further away from him until it came to the point that I asked him to move out. It was a hard step for me because although I did not enjoy the lies, I enjoyed the companionship when I wanted/needed it and I enjoyed the security that he offered. He moved out with hopes that we would be back together. After he moved out, I realized how much I did not miss the lies and the stupidity he brought into my life. I realized we were not the perfect match that I thought we were. We still keep in touch but he thinks there is hope for us and there isn't. I have closed that chapter in my life ( I think anyways).


       

Sophie

September 21, 2015 @ (Uk)

Tags: Breakup


I met this guy online. I was in the process of ending a 3 year relationship. He came out of the blue, we started talking, texting, skype and we talked hours on the phone. He told me I was Mrs. Right and that he was going to marry me. I fell so jard for him. He lives in another stTe and i was making plans to visit him next month and eventually move there we had so much in common. He used the right words, he was everything I wanted. I was in lo e like I habe never been. He needed to get a job because his mom was going to kick him out and since he wasn't studying because his parents are facing a financial situation he needed a job and also because he has a project and needs money to accomplish that. He found a job and it was good he was happy and I was happy for him. He wanted to be the best at it and just succeed I totally understand that I told him I support you, we are a team. His schedule was hectic and some days he worked 16 hours. We barely talked and he told me that this was going to be at first until everything settle. We fouvht because there were days I didn't heard from him, and we fix it, then we fouvht again. He became distNt and stop saying i love you. I sent him a package with stuff and he put it as his profile picture then 2 weeks ago changed it. I told him lets forget our problems lets just focus on the future and support each other blahblah he didn't reply so i said okay nextday he said sorry i just read it and i was having a bad moment so couldnt reply. We havent talked he said that two saturdays ago so last wednesday i texted saying whats up noreply but he texted wuth my friend he ignores me. I turned my phone off since thursday because i have been crying for two weeks, i feel dead inside. I dont eat, cant sleep i am so depressed and i have my plane ticket and i dont know if i should go or not. I dont know what to do. This is the first breakup that made me feel like there is no more hope that maybe he has anew gf or he just played with me. Or that i am not worth fighting for.ido feel worthless and cant stop crying. Also i lost mu job so i dont have anything to look forward


       

D

August 24, 2015 @ (India)

Tags: So sorry!


We were close friends... but eventually friendship turned to love..he loved me soo much..so did I ..after school we got together.. we met once every month, spoke every day...he sent me his pics.. everything was perfect...until now..just a few weeks back in july 2015... i sent him a collage with our pics and a message..after that i was having my important university examination ( Medicine) so i could not call or text him much..but still i felt that he was avoiding me.. in the midst i tried texting and calling him a zillion times... he never answered my calls..neither did he respond to my text messages... but i was not ready to believe that he would cheat on me... i contacted our school friends..i mean we all were pretty close.. i told them that he was doing this..they told me that they have also stopped getting information from him.. i was alarmed.. they said don't worry and don't spoil your exams..thankfully in the midst of so much anxiety i was able to do my most important exams in life..... and he had told one of my friends who called him upon hearing my complains..the truth behind his avoidance.. but she refused to tell me.. because she was scared of me spoiling my exams..i understood that something was terribly wrong..i waited..yesterday at last my exams got over... she called me at 11:00pm... it was a conference call..three friends... she began.. i listened... his parents saw the collage... his mom cried...and stopped talking to him for two days..his dad still doesn't speak to him... he was beaten... they feel that this is not a serious relationship..and that their son is giving me false hopes..iam a doctor..he is studying for Bcom... his mom said all these.. her parents will never agree..you are playing with her feelings..you will never get settled before her..allow her to live... :'( and made him promise upon Holy Quran .. that he won't speak to me or see me again.. he has decided to lead a bachelor life... :( i cried bitterly... i was helpless..so was he... if he had cheated on me..i could at least hate him.. but we still love each other soo much and yet....i spent sleepless nights..i can't cope....we could not hear each others voices for one last time.. :( ... I don't wanna be any one else's but his... and yes,,, i will wait... i will wait for him... i won't let him go... let me ask my parents when it's time.... the rest I leave to God..... My God had never disappointed me... and I believe in him.. he won't disappoint me any further... Cuz it's our first love.. and I want it to be our first and only love..... <3


       

Nate

August 03, 2015 @ (europe)

Tags: Bad break up


Once upon a time I was dating a girl for a few months, I was in love with her and was really enjoying it. We had our ups and down , on the last month though we were doing pretty well. until the summer break came , so we were going to spend about a month apart, in our hometowns. A few days after she left she started to show some kind of unconcern about me, and phone calls reduced. the duration of phone calls also reduced. I understood that things were going bad, even I was complained some times to her .But I believed that it was just the distance, or that I was overreacting and overthinking it. I was very sad, angry and unsecure at that time but I tried not to show it, most of the times, not to make things worse and I just waited to get back together to see what is actually going on. But the last few days before we return to the city we were studying, she started to talk to me really cold on the phone without any obvious reason. So I decided not to talk to her again and see how far this apathy and unconcern goes. So one day we closed the phone, and didn't call her again. Neither did she. She detached and then she got lost, just like that... So I decided after a few days to call her, as I knew she had already arived, and I asked her to meet and talked,she agreed but she said she was very busy with going out with friends and she told me me that she wasn't sure about when we are going to meet. This was very offensive, I felt very bad that it was so hard for her to find 20 minutes to discuss with me the problem..just because she was going out a lot with friends. I was sure then that we were breaking up, So the next day I just sent her a text and I said her that we were breaking up, with the hope that if it was important for her to be together, she would try a just a bit. But she replied and said that she also wanted to break up. My heart teared apart at that time. Something that once was good, ended with a 2-lines text and a goodbye. I am very sad about it, some day I will feel better I suppose, but today is not that day.

I talk to people about it and most of them act like it's nothing, and respond to me with stuff like you will find another one etc. At first I was feeling but about being so hurt, but a loss like this causes pain , and it feels better now that I accepted that pain is just normal in cases like this and eventually it will pass, but not today.


       

Ash

July 26, 2015 @ (manila)

Tags: Sad breakup


i met a man that i fall inlove with. But he's always been a player and a womaniser. He hurt me emotionally many times since the beginning. But i still keep believing on him though i have so many doubts. He cheated on me so i decided to break up with him and i never contact him again since we were on long distance relationship at that moment. Every after a week i will receive a message from saying he made a big mistake and he hopes to see me again. Apologising but still i didnt accept him for almost 10 months. All this time im still inlove with him and i really dont know why. I always wish to see him again and be with him. One day he miscalled me and we started talking again. He came to see me right away to make things right, thats what he said. It was good, we were very happy together. Now he have to leave again for few months for work, back to long distance relationship again. I always worry about it coz i know its possible for him to do the same thing he did to me before. He knows how much i wanted him so he took it for granted. Well i found out again that he's entertaining someone other than me, and he's been lying to me all the time. Though he always tell me about being serious about me and promising that someday we will be together marrying me and have kids, everything which is really good to hear. When i found out about the other girl, he goes defensive and everything was messed up. So we decided again to finish the relationship, i dont know why he's the one who gets mad after i found out about what he did. Telling me that i should've not talk to the girl and ask questions about what is going on between them since the girl told me that she's his girlfriend and been talkimg for 2 months already. My ex now tries to make up things about what is really going on. I hate the fact that im so inlove with him that i let him broke my heart into so many pieces. I wanted to forget him.