Tags: hope, love, time, heartache, pain,
You know what's hard?it's when you wake up one morning and you're no longer wanted. That's how I felt when he broke my heart for a one night stand... AGAIN. My friends think that I'm stupid by staying in a relationship that we all know is doomed the first time he cheated on me. But I can't help it. I love him, more than his mistakes. I thought that if I'm gonna give him a chance he'll change. And he told me he would. I hold on to the hope that I was the one he always wants and need. Then one night as he was sleeping beside me I had this weird feeling that i need to check his phone. I know its my fault. I should not go thru his stuff coz I believe that what you don't know won't hurt you. But I did and hell I found out every thing. He saw me and he knew by the look in my eyes that I'm hurting. I'm not mad and I'm not even sad. I felt like I'm going to explode. Maintaining my calmness I took his had and gave him the phone, I made sure that when he look at the screen he would see everything I saw on his phone. I dressed up and leave but he would not let go of me. He was crying, begging for us to talk and make things right. I can't even say a word. My eyes just burst in tears, my heart beats fast and my breathing starts to be so deep feels like I'm drowning. Maybe I'm drowning with everything. I felt tired and all I want is to sit beside him. He was crying and I never expected him asking for my forgiveness. He was like a child, as I looked at him I felt something breaking inside my soul I feel responsible for the pain he's feeling. I'm not sure why, but it feels like I have to stay...with him and make sure that things will be okay. Maybe someday I will learn to walk away with everything. I'm not sure when and I don't know how but maybe just maybe I can still hold on to that hope that people do change... hopefully for the better.
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