Searching for "pain"

109 Results For 'pain'

Ansi Jose

July 22, 2010 @ (Trivandrum)

I was in a relationship for the last two years. People will wonder how i managed to stay with someone stupid for such a long time. The person whom i loved used to call me names all the time and those words were so uncultured that i initially beg him to stop saying them. he won't and finally in an effort to get myself out of that pain, i used to bang my head on the wall and then he will scream " die you wretched bitch!" Once i took a whole strip of pills in an attempt to kill myself but that was a failure. He never used to give me any freedom. All the twenty-four hours of my life was for him. I can't watch a movie that i like, i can't talk to my mother or my brother, and i can't even go out with my friends. And the most important thing is that i can't even look at other boys. And the funny part is that he used to have a lot of girlfriends who used to visit his home and with whom he used to spend days together. Everything was forbidden just for me. And he won't let me do a job. Twice i got decent jobs but he will call me names all the way to my work place and he wanted me to take off on all the days that he liked. I had to leave both those jobs because of him. But it was okay if he is capable of getting a good income. that he was not! He never used to go for any jobs and he won't attend interviews saying that they will be tough! And to make things worse he has a brother who is handicapped and he wants me to look after him and his old father sitting at home. He never wanted me to be independent. At that point, i realized what he wants is just a servant, not a wife. And many times i tried to end that relationship but he will convince me to continue it and then again will start torturing me. Yesterday was the day when i took the final decision. I found out that i never can spoil my whole life for the sake of a stupid and incompetent person like this. So i finally said that "No". And of course he has threatened me that he is going to publish all the photos we had together everywhere and my mother and i are going to fall on his feet. And i also suspect myself to be pregnant. But come what may, I'm going to be firm on this decision and I am not going to spoil the rest of my life because of him.

Emma

July 01, 2010 @ (arizona)

Tags: example1

My boyfriend and I had been together 9 months. We'd known each other and been really in love for almost 2 years. I gave him absolutely all of me. We really were great together and always had fun and showed each other how much we were in love. He always told me how he wanted to marry me and how much he loved me. Everything was going great until one week he had phone issues. He never tried to contact me in any way. When he did get his phone back, he still didn't at least text me and say he'd call me later or anything. So after going from speaking everyday or just getting an "i love you" text from him, which was always enough for me and made me feel so amazing, he went to zero communication. Who wouldn't "freak out"? I tried contacting him and got nothing. Anyway, I went to see what was going on and he told me he wanted a break and started naming off all these silly previous fights that he had already apologized for and I had forgiven and moved on. He said how I ask too much of him, which he lives 2 hours away, and he had always been able to find time to call me or just text me each day, and if a day or two went by, I was okay with that because I do know how busy he really is. Anyway, after saying all that I had finally agreed to a break. I asked if he wanted to break up and he said no, just a break for a few weeks because he didn't have time for this.
A month has gone by and I had tried to contact him out of desperation for answers the first two weeks. I have not tried to contact him for the past 2 weeks and I will not. I sent him a pour my heart out, this is what really happened with all the silly fights, and do you really love me if you're throwing away what we had...and still heard no word.
It's the most painful thing in the world to go from "i love you I want to marry you baby" to not acknowledging my existence. We are both 21, so yes I know we're young, but he had been so genuine and he doesn't sugar coat anything, so I know if he didn't love me, he would have just said so...
I've been suffering from panic attacks my whole life, but had not had an issue with them again until all of this happened. It feels as if my world crashed down. I live alone, I'm in a new state where all I have is a job so this makes things even more difficult. I do have hobbies, but cannot pursue riding horses at this time because I live in an apartment and can't afford to board a horse in town.
I wake up every morning thinking about every good and horrible thing we've gone through. After what he's done to me, I hate him, but I love him at the same time. My heart races, my stomach turns, I feel nauseous all day long and cannot eat like I used to.
I tried not making him my whole life, but I guess I felt what we had was so real, I never had to worry about him not being there. This all makes me sound pathetic, I know it does and I hate feeling this weak.
How can you love someone so much one day, and want nothing to do with them the next? And no, nothing changed. He changed. I know there isn't anotherr girl because his roommate wants to date me and I'm sure to get me to date him, he would tell me if there was another girl.
So now what? How can I get over this? I've bought books about breakups that have helped me on the whole outlook of this about how if we were so perfect, this wouldn't have happened.
But still...
anyone have any words of advice or encouragement? Anything would help. Sorry this was so long.

Alanna

June 01, 2010 @ (somewhere in hell )

Tags: My story lol is one undeserved nightmare

last night he lied to me stayed out all night cause no curfew n the night it was changed he rather hang out with local lowermainland surrey hookers and he ignored me he truly is a peice of shit he was always mean to me cheated on me lets guys take advantage of me tell them that i think hes my bf n so ive had some creepy creepers pull their gross baby dicks n say its ok n what MY ex bf said about being with other girls and how he hangs out with them all the time but theyre all nasty n sell themselves thats low and gross and i dont do that lifestyle he scams ppl n lies to his mom n steals from her and i paid for this month then im gone but its not that sad i guess its all for the best its over alanna ive had a bad life n alot of pain n he knew it all he doesnt remeber anything about me or us or anythin,its hard to explain how bad i let this shit continue on its kinda sad but its sad that he wants to be with that lol its funny as well lol cause im really good lookin ive tried alot of things and i knew it wasnt me and he couldnt say the truth i mean if u dont wanna be w./someone u say it n ur done but hes hateful and im warnin u girls about him hell probly lie and tell u fake info about his name n shiz or drug u up so he make mula postin pics n lettin ppl watch him fuck nasty hookers w two more old men who are junkys and trash n have hores all the time like non stop im single now and i dont wanna go out with anyone i jus wanna be me lol n honestly he can kiss my sexy ass goodbye hes borin in bed fucks like a retard
this has been hard i broke up with him cause he came to me cryin cause he got awwwwwested n had to stay clean in jail for two days lol so i deleted my email from his account cause he wanted me to change his pw and i saw his gfs emails other lady friends like fuck u he thinks im stupid ...but i sent him an email or two n it wasnt bad its jus get the hell away from me buddday seriously were on a different levels and hell never change

Mark

April 20, 2010 @ (NC)

Tags: Puppycat

I'd been seeing this girl for several days before I asked her to move in with my family and I. With 8 people in a split level what's one more, right?

She started acting distant at this point, in retrospect I assume this is when she broke up with me. I didn't realize, I'd assumed she'd prefer I move in with her and her meemaw. After I'd unpacked they got home and were all like, "PUH_LEASE!" I had a few doays to find somewhere else to stay.

They only took me for walks twice a day even if I had to use the bathroom more, overreacted to housefires with minimal damage, and weren't supportive or my painting- the house.

Finally I'd had enough, the polcie took me away. I told gramps to tell that skank it was over- and that I faked it EVERYTIME.

Val

January 13, 2010 @ (San Diego)

Tags: Cali

It's been a while since I was dump. Breaking up is not fun =(. i would understand if i actually did something wrong, but i didn't cheat or anything. I did everything for this guy. My bf told me that, i did too much. She said that i was too available, i guess i can see that. Why do relationships have to be such a pain in the ass.

Logar

November 24, 2009 @ (colorado)

Tags: paris, poem, rhyme

I went to paris with my girlfriend of one year
To stay for four weeks in the city of love
But after three weeks it became very clear
The love that we had was not the kind they were speaking of
We fought all the time on the stupidest of things
Each second was one that I wanted to escape
Her control of me made me want to scream
And the love of her became something I couldn't take
So after one fight about cutting my hair
It came out that I couldn't take anymore
And after tears and pain I could hardly bear
Our tumultuous love turned into war
The last week was filled with fights and tears
I spent 1500 dollars on hotel rooms
And at the peak of the fights when the end of the trip appeared
We had to spend 8 hours on the plane sitting next to each other
Worst day of my entire life

Breaking Up

November 13, 2009 @ (heartbreak)

Tags: North Car.

I had been dating the same girl since high school. we went to the same college together and i proposed to her and we moved down here to north carolina. it's almost story book. its roughly 1 month to us getting married. she sits me down to talk and proceeds to tell me that she's been cheating on me for the past 2 years. She felt that she needed to tell me. how nice of her! i was completely devastated. i mean it feel like my heart was ripped out of my chest. i've never felt so much pain. i could feel the heart thumping in my chest and my mind was racing. i never realized that breaking up with someone could feel so horrible. needless to say that I broke it off and we're not getting married let alone still together. Here I am, starting a new chapter. Yes, it was a horrible breakup, breaking up sucks.

Chris

October 13, 2009 @ (California)

Tags: heartbreaking

This isn't an especially exotic breakup, but it certainly broke my back. When I was an intern, I took a weekend call pretty early ... on a Friday night, so the amount of trauma we saw was very heavy (idiots drinking/driving, getting stabbed, etc). That 28hr shift was pretty much the worst night of my life b/c of:

- my first end of life discussion w/a family
- getting my chief to come in was like pulling teeth
- a couple of traumas came in basically DOA
- my medstudent, despite being warned that it was going to be a tough night and that he should read up on diagnosing traumatic injury, decided to read up on wiring of cautery knives ...
- ... then had the nerve to cuss me out for not treating him like he knew anything, despite him never reading, never knowing anything about patient treatment other than pain level
- the floor nurses refused to take verbal orders, making me actually walk up to the floor and write it in the patient chart (no matter if I was in the middle of a Code Blue or not)
- in fact, I got into lots of arguments with nurses about retarded crap
- the next morning, I was so busy in the ER, the oncoming resident had to see all my patients, making me look like a total douche
- I didn't sleep
- I didn't eat after lunch
- hell, I didn't even get to sit down at ALL that night

So I finally get home, almost getting into an accident on the way home b/c of exhaustion, and I get into bed and crash. 10hr later I wake up, still wiped out, hungry as hell, and figure the only thing that can make me feel not like shit is talking to my [long-distance] girlfriend of 20 months.

Well, literally just after I said the words "I don't think I'll ever have a worse night in my life," she cuts me off and says that she doesn't think we should date anymore. I was so exhausted I could barely put up a fight. I just slept for another 24hrs, and didn't eat until 2 days later, when I came back to work. Absolutely heartbreaking.

It was at that point that my realization dawned: being a doctor SUCKS; THIS is what I busted my ass, all my life, my dream, for???