NeedsHelp

September 12, 2010 @ (WestCoast)

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My girlfriend of 9 years broke up with me to be with an old high school friend. The sad part is that I have a feeling that they will eventually get married within the next year or so. I’m absolutely crushed like never before. We’ve had our share of problems throughout our relationship and unfortunately it’s mostly my fault. I feel so stupid for taking her for granted.

We met in college back in 2001 and it started out as the most beautiful thing in this world that either of experienced. We were soul mates and were certain that we’d be together forever. It was like we were two peas in a pod, amongst a campus full of strangers and were very happy we found one another. It didn’t take us but 6 months to move in together we were so in love. However, after graduating college, I struggled for years, and was depressed even, to find a job. She supported us for most of our relationship as she was blessed with a wonderful career as an exceptional community organizer, which she now serves as the executive director of her organization. Me on the other hand, struggled immensely to find my passion, and had several dead end low paying jobs.. This was emotionally hard on me, and most certainly on her. However, we would make the best of our situation by taking various trips around the country and enjoying the natural bond we had for one another. We didn’t have to take trips really we enjoyed staying home together, whether we were intimately conversing about any topic or making passionate love. However, my career struggles took a severe toll on our relationship. I even went through a period of alcohol abuse, which lasted a couple of years. Eventually, after 4 great years she began to loose interest in me, and cheated on me a few times. Although I was obviously crushed, I took her back because I loved her so so much and believed we could work through anything, plus I always envisioned her as the mother of my kids. Fast forward to January 2008, I eventually found a job which pays great and I absolutely love-- finally I’m able to support us and feel good about myself in that regard. We celebrated the entire 2008 in the name of my success and life seemed golden--finally my career struggle was over! Unfortunately I started to drink again and lied several times about it and thus undermining any trust left. At that time, she started to give me warnings that I had to stop or else she’d leave. Fortunately I finally stopped, but we would still argue. She also began to voice, starting in mid-June of this year, that she was growing unsatisfied in our relationship and that we needed to talk. I unfortunately kept prolonging “the talk” and became slightly tuned out every time she said it. Beginning of August I noticed she started to act suspect: she seemed to pay more attention to sending text messages on her smart phone than being in my company. So, I naturally had a hunch something was wrong, so I checked her work email and noticed she made reservations at hotel to be with some random guy, the weekend I was going out of town visit college friends in LasVegas. To make a long painful story short, I confronted her about it over the phone while she was at work, she became shell-shocked that I found out and started crying. We hang up and she eventually came home from work. The first thing she said was we should break up… and that I should‘ve talked to her but now it‘s too late we have to break up. I’m begging and pleading for her to get her to change her mind, and that we should talk now, but she insisted we should break up. The next day I go to work, come back home and she’s gone. I call her and she said we shouldn’t be around each other anymore and one of us needs to move out. Now I’m in further disbelief and shock. What follows after that is even more painful drama, trauma rather, and would take another 500 words or so to explain but I‘ll save the detail--it’s bad.. In short, she’s been at a friends house for the past 3 weeks looking for a place and blocked my number from her cell phone, it turns out this random guy is an old high school friend and they are in a intimate partnership. She even hinted that they are talking about marriage. Meanwhile I’ve been alone in our old apartment reminiscing, broken-hearted but refusing to let go, looking at old pictures and her belongings, under an unbearable amount of sorrow, loss of appetite and motivation, deteriorating self-esteem and ego. I’ve been reading passages from Psalms to make it through the day. My life feels like it’s over.

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So Sorry!

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noel

February 08, 2011

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I don't mean to be an ass but you can't "loose" anything you "lose" stuff.

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katt

January 11, 2011

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Awesome!!! That's great! I mean, social drinking is fun n its great to hang out w friends, just know ur limit...n dont work too hard! its great that u have a job n do well in it, but dont revolve ur life around work...good to hear ur going out n meeting girls, n although its been a while for u, dont concentrate so much on "its been a while", just be urself, make jokes, loosen up n have fun!! As for ur ex, id refrain from speaking to her...i understand how u feel, i thought my ex was my soulmate as well n he cheated n i eventaully broke it off...n i have 2 kids w him n as much as i will always love him being the father of my kids, i cant forget what was done...if u go back w her, it wont be the same (i tried that w my ex husband), everything was great for a few mths n back to the same ol things, wondering if he's cheating again, insecurities from the past...it never goes away...u'll end up more miserable than b4...everyones different so maybe that wont be the case but u dont want to pass up an opportunity w some1 great just cuz of some memories from the past...good luck!!

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NeedsHelp

January 11, 2011

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Thanks for the advice everyone. Crazy how time flies. It's been 5 months and I'm good; my life is uber-simple (all I do is work) but I'm not abusing drugs or anything, and I go to the gym at least 4 times a week. I've been on a few dates.. still rough (seeing that I've been out of the game since college and I don't have a car) but at least I can say I've been dating. I feel with time things will only get better. I seriously need to do me right now. Oh and my ex totally has feelings for me still and who knows we may end up back together.. that's of course if I feel like going back to her. Thanks

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katt

December 30, 2010

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sooo are u drinking again to cope w ur depression??? dude u asked for it!! she invested 9 yrs in ur ass n u have nothing to show for it! ur lucky it lasted as long as u did cuz id be out! when a woman's fed up, there aint nothing u can do about it...but i agree w Nick below...quit ur drinkin n wallowing in ur self pity n hit the gym, build up those endorphins n meet ppl!!

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hoodoo

October 08, 2010

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What a pathetic whiney bitch! First of all, you have no balls. And second of all, a pussy like you would,kt know what to do with a real woman. Just go fuck yourself you worthess piece of shit

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Nick Saban

October 03, 2010

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Dude? Seriously? I have never heard about so much winey and crying guys! Thats why women are doing this shit....guys like you all. Get the fuck up and go work out and meet women! You don't have a relationship with them....just meet women! PATHETIC!

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John L.

October 02, 2010

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I am sorry to hear your story. Read mine. I waited for a girl I asked God to show me and looked for her for 8 yrs. When I was trying to give up on that dream in she walked. Best time of my life. I gave literally everything to her from my first hug and kiss to my virginity. She left saying I did nothing wrong but I was just a mistake. Been 10 weeks and i'm still suffering. Counselor said I was in a relationship for 8 yrs even though I was never with her. People say well if it's meant to be she will come back. I say but would I want her back after she betrayed me and the only way I knew was because of nightmares I was having of being in the room. I freaking described a guy I had never seen. I saw her on him for weeks and it made me almost go to the hospital because I was exhausted and throwing up blood bec. it was literally killing me. I told her that if she changed and found herself I would take her back. Will she do it? probably not. People say you deserve better. But we don't want that we want to hold and feel the one that made us feel complete and whole.So it just goes to show you that even if you do nothing wrong girls can still say seeya. YOu had several opportunities to try and work things out. Well you kinda blew it. Right now the only thing helping me is lying to myself by saying I give up on her. Otherwise she still has control over you. Just say I dont care whenever you think of her. Only thing that helped me even if it is a lie

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jazzz

September 12, 2010

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hey there!im really sorry about your relationship. i just broke up with my bf of 3 yrs and i can only imagine what your going through..she did cheat on you numerous of times so u really need some1 who will love and care for you through hard times and great times. like they say "if its meant to be, she will come running back to u".. so enjoy urself..im sure ur a handsome guy and there are plenty of women out there that would do anything to be with you! hang in there doll

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