Searching for "not"

802 Results For 'not'

Anonymous

November 23, 2011 @ (home)

I guess i just don't know what to say. I wish we'd never broken up, but I know it's what he wanted to do for awhile now. I was a fool for having been in denial for such a long time, and for believing that he feels as much as I feel for him. It's already been a month ever since our break up, but I still feel as broken as if it was just yesterday. I can remember begging him to not break up with me, but only to have him get angry and push me away. It hurts to think back and face the truth that all the while he was with me, it was just pretense. He really can't even stand the sight of me. He stopped texting me altogether after we broke up. I feel sick and tired; sick of relationships and tired of meeting new people. I absolutely hate the fact that he's made me feel like everything was my fault. I hate that he puts me through so much misery while we were together. He isn't the guy I once knew him to be, so I guess i'll let time do it's job and bury all this.

Gordon

November 21, 2011 @ (Newtown)

Tags: cheating

Everyone is prone to being cheated on, no matter if you are male or female, I don’t care if society says men are more likely to cheat. Being a male I am one of those guys who thinks it is completely unnecessary and cruel to cheat on someone who treats you like a princess and cares for you. So here is my story and I hope to get a lot of feedback from this. Thank you. So two year ago my girlfriend, we’ll call her “She-Devil”,moved back home from Arizona to live with her mom and to get away from all the bullshit out west. I met her through facebook, I got a message from here saying hello. We talked and hung out that day. Who could blame her, you move back home knowing no buddy but family, why not try and find people to hand out with. So that first week we felt instantly in love and all that great bullshit that goes along with a new lover. I was living on my own and she with her mom. My lease was running out and about 10 months of being together, we had this great idea of me moving in with her and her mom, and turn her basement into a living area for us to live in. I built a god damn basement for this girl. I loved doing it because I love seeing my girl happy. Along with many other little thinks, like buying the “just because” rose, and small things. O! and I got her a job working with my sister at an animal clinic. So for another year we were living the sweetest live together at that house, felt just like were I thought I belonged. So a month or two ago, she starts to act really distant and unhappy. Work was stressful but she would always come home and talk about it. Nothing. I would do what ever I could to make her happy. Got a card and wrote her a note. Leave post it notes saying how much I loved her where she could find. Just cute little thinks to get a smile out of her and in a way it seemed as if she was faking it. So I never really thought of her as a cheater, but during this month, one of her clients asked her if she could watch his dogs for him while he is at work. Extra money, who wouldn’t.
We had no sex life during this last month and she always seemed to doll herself up on the days that she would go “watch his dogs”. So this last Friday I over hear here talking to her mom about when to break up with me. I confronted her and that night she told me how she “wanted to be alone” she “isn’t sure what she wants” she “needs to spend time and find out who she is and what she needs to do it live.” Fucking high school bullshit, excuse. So it was the hardest thing for me, because of the fact that I cared about her so much and literally built a life for us to start. I was lead on so much to think that we would be together for much much longer. So that night I take off to vent with my buddies and I returned to fall asleep next to her. No matter how upset I was, I felt comfort in laying next to her. The next morning I get a phone call from my sister telling me to get my shit and get the fuck out of that house. I asked why, feeling very scared, thinking I was in danger. She would not tell me why, just to grab my stuff and get out. She convinced my dad and her boyfriend to all help out, in one trip we grabbed all my shit and got out in 2 hours because my sis didn’t want any confrontation with her. She gets to deal with her at work. So during the drive back to my dads, my sister hits me with it. She-devil told her co-workers, who she thought were her friends, that she had been fucking this guy and bragging about how he’s going to build her an apartment, going to buy her a computer, and offered her a job at his company. She-devil also bragged about how big his dick was. What She-devil didn’t expect was that these “friends” of hers are far more loyal friends to my sister and felt the need to tell her all this, thank god. Well now other co-workers started telling her how they walked in on her and this guy in a back room in the office, she would always come in late and take long lunches. I’m living at my Dads now, depressing as fuck. She denied it all when I asked her about it and she said that all those people at work are making shit up. Yeah, cuz I believe that. I did so much for this girl only to find out that my average size, 25 year old cock isn’t good enough for this 21 year old Cunt, but a bigger 43 year old dick does the trick. What the FUCK!!!!!! I’ve been cheated on before but never by someone who I cared so much for and thought she did the same. Ugh, Fucking Gross.

Elove

November 19, 2011 @ (Los Angeles )

Tags: break up

lets call him alex. he asked me to be his girlfriend on september 25, 2009. he was sweet, caring, funny, i loved him with all my soul and he would always tell me that he loves me that i was his only one. he would tell me that he wanted to marry me and have children with me someday. he was my happiness, my everything. we went out on the weekends and sometimes on weekdays. since the moment i met his family we got along so well. on january 2010 he was acting sort of distant with me. i wondered what i did wrong. then the last week of that month we were talking on the phone and he told me that he needed a break. that he was stressed out cause of school and football. i cried, i was broken. the next day he texted me and told me that he had actually cheated on me, i didnt believe him. so i talked to a mutual friend we both have and he told me that alex was lying to me that he just told me that he cheated on me so that i can forget bout him. so i acted like i didnt know this with alex. then that same week he had injured his ankle and i went to see him. i knew we had to fix things and i was afraid it was gonna be our last goodbye. but i was wrong. when i got there i saw him sitting on his bed and he told me to sit down next to him. i couldnt look at him so i just stared at his ankle and i had tears in my eyes and he told me he was sorry for what he "did." he touched my arm and i pulled away. i moved a little bit afar from where he was sitting and he moved closer and i wouldnt let him touch me. he then grabbed me and pulled me close to him and he started crying. then i cried. it was so emotional and i knew it wasnt the end. eventually we ended up getting back together and i was happy again. throughout the relationship we often talked about sex and i would tell him how i wanted to wait until marriage. he said he would wait for me. he said he was a virgin too then on february 8 he came over to my house and he said "u know we're gonna be together forever so why not get it over with?" so i gave in. worst mistake ever. we lost our virginity to each other. he then told me that he lied to me bout cheating and that he would never ever do that to me. from there our relationship went back to normal he was so sweet and caring. then came April and things were getting suspicious. the day after my birthday i found out trough my brothers phone that alex liked this other girl lets call her gina. i was broken. that weekend we got into an argument and he said that i still loved my ex he was putting words into my mouth that werent true. i made him tell me who this gina girl was and he ended up telling me that its the girl he likes and that he was confused bout both of us, and that the day of my birthday he had seen her and kissed her. so he said he cheated. i cried that whole day and then that week i went to see him and we acted like nothing happened we later planned our last day together, a week later he came to my house and spent one last day of our relationship with me. he told me then that he wasnt gonna get with gina and that our thing was just a break till he stopped being confused. i believed him, so i left it at that. a week later i find out that he got with her and i was depressed. 2 days after that i did a stupid thing. i got drunk and ended up intoxicated in the hospital. i had more than 100% alcohol in my body and if it wasnt for the paramedics i wouldn't be here telling my story. and i blamed him for what i did. after that i only saw him two times and eventually he cheated on gina with me. one day he told me he wanted to get back with me and that we can keep it low-key. i didnt accept that offer. so forward to November of 2010. gina requested me on FB and we talked. she said they were having problems and idk what. i ended up telling her that he cheated on her with me. she told me that they both lost it to each other and i was like WTF i ended up telling her that it wasnt true cause i lost it to him and well thats when she realized that he is a player and a lier. he would deny the fact that he did it with me but watever we both know he lied. so i'll leave it at that. i loved him so much and i never thought this would happen. its hard for me to trust any guy again. i wish i never met him but then again i dont regret all those amazing moments i shared with him. i still keep his gifts and letters and his shirt. i miss him and i still love him but im willing to move on.

Liz

November 17, 2011 @ (Seattle, WA)

Tags: sad, love

My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up. What hurts me most are all the fond memories I have about him and the relationship. Every little thing I see and I hear reminds me of him and the moments I thought were as enjoyable for him as they were for me. I know that I did everything to make this work, but at the same time I always had the feeling I was forcing the relationship and that his feelings for me were not as strong as my feelings for him. What I do not understand, is why he pretended for so long. When I used to ask him about his feelings for me he would say I am making drama and I was an insecured person, the truth is, I was always asking becuase his actions and attitudes yelled You are not the one. On top of that, when we broke, he was crying and telling me that he loved me but he could not stand the drama anymore. So he wanted me to feel guilty about this. Would it be possible that he deliberately was acting mean, to see how far I could endure the situation, and finally say it is over because of you? Would not it be easier to say I am sorry my feelings for you are not strong enough?

Mmonique878

November 12, 2011 @ (karlsruhe)

Tags: d, g

Good Morning.Well it's just so sad.I met him first in 2008 at his birthday party and he didn't even notice I was there even there were only 10 or 11 people.After 3 years we met at the mall as he was a friend of my bro-in-law.

Now it's over.

Sossy

November 10, 2011 @ (Austin, TX)

Tags: Soasy

We had been going together for more than a year, then he suddenly wasn't available & started cooling off, but wouldn't say why or discuss the relationship. Then he invited me to a party - I was thrilled; I figured it meant we were still a couple.

Turns out he'd found someone else, and I guess the party was his spineless way of breaking up. She was clearly there with him, hanging all over him while they danced, and major kissing when they weren't. I stayed long enough to get the picture, then left, devastated and embarrased, since I knew so many people there & they'd seen the whole thing. Is he a jerk? Of course!

But here's the dumb part - for the longest time, I'd still have taken him back! It takes ages to get over a relationship, especially when the break-up wasn't on your own timeline. Long after I'd moved on, the slime ball had the nerve to call me up to get back together. I listened to his schpiel, not saying much, then said, "Well - gotta run - I'm in another relationship. Great to hear from you!"

I know it doesn't feel like it in the immediate aftermath, but eventually, you do get over things, you move on, and amazingly, you're even able to give thanks that God protected you from being Mrs. Creep (or Mr. Slut, or whatever).

Raven

November 09, 2011 @ (Canada)

Tags: November 9/11

My ex-boyfriend and I where together for 2 1/2 yrs. Everything was great! We we're together all the time, except when we went to work. And still on breaks conversated. Great connection, conversation, companionship, we understood one another. Everyone told us how great we we're as a couple and could see our chemistry. Our loved continued to grow throughout the relationship. We we're bestfriends, soulmates and lover, everything you could ever image and fantasy about having in a relationship.
Last week we broke off. I believe that he's blowing the situation way out of proportion. Here's what happened: He was hanging out with he's friend and than called to see if it would be alright if his friend came over. Everything was cool. He told me he wanted to be closer to me. They arrived, I gave them some space. Their drinking and having a good time hanging out in the back yard, then they came in and It sounds like my guy is being a bully towards his friend, and a fight is about to pop off. So, I ended up going down stairs and his friend looks so sick, like he's dying. So, I bypass my boyfriend and asked his friend if he wants me to gave him a ride home, and I try to joke around and tell him a story that my guy did to me when we had a couple of drinks. Any way from there we had a little argurment. He left with his friend and came back and packed all of his stuff up. I told him he's blowing the whole thing way out of proportion.
I've apologized so much and even to he's friend, he's forgiven me, but he says that I've betrayed our relationship and put a pink elephant in room, when there shouldn't be one. He say he trust me because I never cheated or have done anything else. But he doesn't trust that I have the best judgement for what the relationship should be.
At this time frame he just wants to be friends and told me that I hurt him. I didn't knowly want to do that. I know he loves me the way that I love him. But it's hard to be just friends, when you want so much more. We still talk approx. 5hrs a day, but he chooses not to see me at this time frame. Somedays, I end up crying to him and he tells me that I shouldn't have done what I did. That make me feel even worst. Because I realize the error of my ways and I've lost my bestfriend. The situation is messed up.
A week prior to this arguement was my birthday and he surprized me with a ring and put it on one finger and than surprized me with another for the other hand. I know he's hurt and I'm hurt too. Just don't know what to do.

Anonymous

November 06, 2011 @ (NY)

Tags: Jail bait

My then boyfriend and I had been seriously together for almost 3 years. Everything was just fine. We were planning on moving in together, planning our 3 year anniversary trip to Miami and even, possibly, when the time was right we shared the similar ideas of marriage and starting a family. I basically lived my life for this person. We saw each other every day without fail because we live close together.

Until that fateful day when I received a phone call from him...He calls to tell me the he is in jail and needs $1500 bail money. I tell him that I don't have the kind of money and that he should contact his parents as a last resort. Meanwhile my mind is going crazy & I'm thinking to myself what he could have possibly done to land himself into this kind of predicament.

An hour later his dad gives me call and we both deicide to go to the jail and bail him out. One the way there we talk about all the possibilities of why he could be there. The only thing that could plausibly come across my mind was unpaid tickets in relations to his car. Well we get to jail and since there is only one person allowed in to bail him out, his dad goes in to retrieve him. Mind you we had gotten there at 7 p.m. and didn’t leave until 1 a.m.

When my then boyfriend decides to get into the car he tells me that he would rather talk to me one on one rather than his dad being around. This made me even more upset. I had waited several hours already and now he has the nerve to make me wait even more for an explanation!

So when we finally get to our destination he gives me this bogus story about how he had a relationship with a girl who had lied about her age, before I even came into existence and that she had been stalking him etc. etc. So he lied and said it was basically a case of fatal attraction.

The next day I think to myself “Why the hell would the cops go and pick him up, at his job!, on things that happened years ago?”
So I call his dad, because things just weren’t adding up and he tells me the dreadful news that this incident happened in September of this year! Keep in mind it was the last week of October I find out this news. Adding insult to injury he lied about the whole fatal attraction scenario!!

In actuality, my then boyfriend, who is 22, went on facebook, started communicating and sexting with a girl who he claimed told him she was 17 but she’s really 15. He told me he didn’t even have a facebook when he had one the whole entire relationship. They met up on what he says on one occasion in the parking lot of her school. There this 15 year old girl performs oral sex on him. Somehow, someway her parents find out about this and her dad is a cop. So now he’s is in a lot of trouble and must go to court for Lord knows how long it takes to settle his situation.

So now his face, name, and address is plastered all over the internet for anyone who looks his name up to see. That he sought out sexual relations with an underage girl and got caught!

There were warning signs that we would argue about consistently.
1. He was so defensive about his phone; he always hid it, and would go to the extremes to cover his tracks.
2. Every time he went on the internet he would delete the browsing history.
3. He wanted to get into shape and eat healthy all of a sudden, which was around the time he started talking to this girl.

WOW!! He is a pathological liar and continued to lie to me to keep me!! He didn’t even want me to go to his court date! Had I not found out the truth from his dad! He would have continued to lie to me!

I am a complete mess right now. I’m going through midterms and working. Things have just been absolutely rough! I have even contemplating taking him back. But I know that it is not an option! Even though I’m hurting for the moment, I need to move on with my life and let time be the best remedy.

Anonymous

November 04, 2011 @ (Nevada)

Tags: Sad

The break up was easy. It was the week before we broke up that broke me. He's my best friend...or at least he was. And I've known him for so long, I knew something was wrong. I could feel him slipping away, and then he began lying to me. I'm not sure why the lies started, I'm not really sure where we went wrong. But I confronted him, and told him how I felt. We talked on the phone and he said he was feeling weird, that he didn't know how to explain it, but he told me not to worry. "Hakuna Matata" That's what he always says when I look worried. But I knew he was gone, he didn't even tell me he loved me before we broke up. The next day I caught him in a lie, and he didn't talk to me until the day after. When he finally did I told him how shitty I felt, how hurt I was. Then he told me that the reason he thinks best friends work so well is because "Even if something happens, they can still be best friends" that same night he broke up with me. And here I am, a week later. And guess what? I lost my best friend.

AC

October 25, 2011 @ (US)

Tags: indecisive, indecision, flip flop, back and forth

It is apparently over. It feels that way. I have not been able to say the words to her though I think my heart feels it is.

It isn't that I don't love her, its that I am so unsure of what I want for my life that my instincts (or my goddamn brain) won't let me find clarity. Maybe that means I don't love her...I dunno. Or maybe I don't need clarity and I'm just ignoring my instincts which say that this relationship can not work considering the re-evaluation I am undertaking.

I haven't been able to wholeheartedly agree on the direction she would like life to go in...it mostly the children issue. But its not because I'm so against it or worried she isn't good enough to build a life with. I just haven't found a way to say yes or no, to reconcile what I want with what she does so maybe the indecisiveness is my answer.

Even if it means that I change my mind a year from now, I think the answer is "no I can't be what you need and deserve right now." If that's the case and she has a clearer plan for her life, I should let her go so she can find it with someone else. It may be the worst decision of my life and I may regret it but I just can't see a way to put love, attention and energy into this relationship AND try to figure my own shit out.

Part of me feels plain dumb for not having figured myself out at 33, but part of me also doubts that every married with kids person really gave it all as much thought and followed their instincts either. It feels so odd to not inherently agree with the way society goes about relationships, marriage, kids and just maturing in general. Everyone feels like they are on auto-pilot with their life choices. Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better about my indecision.

I think in many ways my spirit is flawed, broken...but not irreparable. I will take the time to ask my heart what it really wants and I will keep asking until it responds....because it will. It wants me to be happy and maybe it doesn't even yet know what it wants but when it does, I will fight for it with all I can. I only have one known chance at living. I've got to try and live as best I can. I hate that I don't know that she could represent living life the best way I can, but if we are done and it was a mistake, it just feels like a mistake I have to make, otherwise I am doomed to create the same indecision and same mistakes time and time again.