Wasn\\'s Breakup Story in Edmonton, Alberta

Wasn\\

December 12, 2011 @ (Edmonton, Alberta)

Tags: 1

I was clear on my intentions when I told the universe what I wanted "Somebody who loves me as I am" and he showed up. He was funny, flirty, nervous, self conscious and lacked confidence. Why? God knows because he was handsome, fit, funny and available. We worked together and at first i did not want to work with him because he had a sarcastic and surly streak, but over time he won me with his charm. It was an intense and passionate love right from the start, but i had to acknowledge that even with all his flirting, I was the one who asked him out. He reciprocated and we had afternoon dates over lunch and long walks. then we started sleeping together and I told him that I loved him. That didn't go over very well. We dated steadily for 2 months when he went on a holiday. The people he was going to meet up with seemd a strange mix but I didn't know him that well at the time.

Turns out he met up with a woman from his past who drifted into the spot of "platonic friend." I said he needed to make clear his intentions with her. She kept calling and he kept answering.
Then she became this regular part of his/our life but she lived in the states so was far removed. I started to get jealous and we had our first of many break ups over his lack of honesty and the way he painted the picture of her involvement in his life. i was in love with him, saw him every day at work and couldn't break free form his emotional pull. I took a transfer. that worked for a week or two and then we started speaking again and seeing each other again but it was not th same. He started to pint out my flaws, I saw his evasiveness and aloof behaviour more clearly. We started to disagree. Eventually i watched him openly flirt with another woman at a cocktail party and knew that it was time to move on. He denied it of course, called me jealous, said I was hot and cold with him. We had tickets to the company Christmas party so agreed to still go together. there was no magic anymore. He won a door prize of jewellery at the party and reluctantly gave it to me. My co-workers thought his distance was strange. I tried so hard not to belittle him or be angry with him but it was hard. He drove me home, we said our goodbyes, he was cold and distant, the man I knew hm to be in the beginning, the man i didn't want to work next to. I asked him why he would start dating me again if he wasn't that interested. He said he was sorry about that. And then it was over. Now I'm working on a different floor and working through this breakup so that I can continue on in finding love. I just wasn't clear in my intentions.

Comment on this breakup

Reply

December 19, 2011

Boy did I ever need to hear this and at exactly this moment! Thank you for responding to my link and for being so observant and insightful. I think I'm pretty awesome myself and thanks for reminding me. You point out some very important observations about my behavior which i think are the key to not repeating my mistakes. I did show him that I was into him too much, I adored him and put him on a pedestal. Easy to act like a King when I gave him the keys to the kingdom. I loved the comment about him being a player who reels girls in by being the shy guy-I was in a place of low self esteem and loved the attention.I learned so me very valuable lessons about my re-entry into the dating world and my part in this relationship. I also got some great motivation tips from him that I am using to get back in shape and take better care of myself. It's going to be okay. Thank you for your comments-you made my day.

Unknown

December 19, 2011

That's pretty hectic!! That guy sounds like a real jerk!! I think you showed him that you were into him too much which made him take advantage of the situation. If this guy was genuine he wouldn't have brought that "friend" into your lives knowing that you're not okay with it! This guy sounds like a player who reels gurls in by acting like "the shy guy". Honestly, this guy never deserved you in the first place!! You mentioned that he started pointing out your flaws... That's emotional abuse!! He probably has low self esteem & tried making himself feel better by bringing you down! This guy doesn't deserve a girlfriend at all if he's going to emotionally abuse her! It's good that you're no longer together because he would just repeat all the things he did to you. Stay string, you can't let him affect how you do your job. You also can't let this bad experience affect your future relationships. You deserve the best & you will find it!! Don't let him affect your life. You sound really awesome!! :):) hope you find love soon!! <3