I'll try to shorten this as best I can! We met in school, got on instantly,glued at the hip! About a year later we got together. It lasted a month, we decided we were better as friends. But we got back together again. We were together for a year and a half.I was part of his family he was part of mine.I adore his family. We went on holidays together.We had the best of times. I could always be myself completely around him. He made me laugh more than anyone. But like any relationship, there's good bits and bad bits. I broke it off for various reasons, I felt like he only came to me when he had nothing better to do. He used to hang with these guys and they would fool around in cars racing and stuff, the thoughts of him being in an accident or doing something stupid made me feel sick. Basically I felt that I was in the relationship more than he was. He was the first person I wanted to see when the weekend came but I felt like I was the last person he wanted to see. Yeah he was always working and I understood that it was difficult, we didn't see each that often but I was okay with that I guess I just wanted him to want to actually want to see me. Also whenever we were together and he got a text from one of the boys, he'd leave to meet with them. Anyway, because I can tell him anything I told him all this straight out.So we left it on good terms. We're still as close as ever, we hang out when we can catch up and things.It's like nothing could shake our friendship, there's never awkward moments. It's been six months since we broke but lately I'm beginning to miss us and what we had a lot. I know It's pointless because I had gone crazy by the end of it all and It just doesn't work with us but I can't help but I adore him and in some ways want it all back again.I swear sometimes when I look at him he does too. What has always confused me about him though was how he would do so many things that show that he cared for me and he obviously did, but then he just did things that showed he didn't care that much at all. So there you have it. The story of my life!
You sound like you had a wonderful relationship besides the negative aspects of it. There's nothing wrong with longing for what you had with that guy, that's completely normal seeing that you have so many memories with him. Sometimes in life you have to forget what you feel & remember what you deserve [I stole that from somewhere] but anyway, that saying is true. It's very clear that you were & still are crazy about this boy. But ask yourself if you deserve a guy who makes you his last option. Do you deserve a guy who gives you mixed signals? I don't think so... It's time for you to realise that the past is the past. You have to realise what you're worth. Just because you still have feeling for him it doesn't mean that he's the right guy for you right now. If he was really serious, he wouldn't give you mixed signals or make you his last option!! I think you should just move on & focus on other things besides boys. You'll find a great guy who will be straight forward with you & won't give you mixed signals. You deserve to be treated properly!! You'll find him :):)
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