Searching for "crush"

59 Results For 'crush'

Brandee

December 27, 2010 @ (Boulder City Nevada)

Let's see. It's December... 6months ago.

I was dating this doucher, and I met someone online.He was, perfect? No, perfect is an under-state-ment. Anywys, we fell in love. We both did, instantly.

God, I'm getting flash backs; we celebrated Fourth of July together. July 3rd we met and fell inlove, and became the greatest relationship ever. Hours and Hours on the phone, everynight. Webcams, phones, Im's. But, everyone was right.. Long distance doesn't work.

Anyways... We were amazing, but we only lasted a short time. I remember the breakup so vividly. I was high off of life, hanging out with my best friend, walking home, and as I passed the alleyway across the way from my alley, I got a phone call from my baby. I remember him talking to his buddy breifly, and then getting serious. He just explained to me that it wasn't working. He then asked, if I was alright, and with tears in my eyes, I replied yes. He told me if I needed to cry I could.

Oh I needed to cry alright. But I told him I didn't want him to have to hear it for, I didn't want him to feel bad. I told him I had to go...

My friend Devin was concerned.

I turned around, facing away from her, and cried, silent at first.

I tried to walk, i was so shaken, I couldn't walk, so I stumbled and fell. I sat against the wall, and Devin rushed over. I just started to scream. I couldn't breath, and I was screaming. Devin helped me up while I was still bawling, and she hugged me. I was so crushed. It felt as if he took a kife, rammed it into my heart, and then twisted the blade. After about an hour, I regained enough of my composure to get home..
As sooon as I was in my room, I began to cry again. I turned up my music and cried. After like... roughly 3 hours, Devin went home. I never stopped crying.

I did something I have never done before too.
I became numb. I was in such denial. It was so not over.

I couldn't even feel my heartbeat anymore, and pathetically, I cut myslef. I didn't want to die, I was making sure I was still alive.

He called me. I swear, I just sat there, with the phone muted, crying, screaming, not breathing. he was apologizing. Which broke my heart even more, causing me more pain.

This was the first guy, the first person I have ever felt love for, and he does this too mee? I would tell everyone exactly why he broke up with me, stupid reson, but I don't want to be mean. Why would anyone do this to me? My first real true heart break.. and it still haunts me. 6 MONTHS LATER! Why?

I have cried so many times, just at random, and if any of my friends even say his name, itnsta-cry. Little things remind me of him. Especially the song, It's Not Over- Second HandSerenade. I have listened to it atleast 100 times in the last couple hours. It's 3:46 in the morning.. I have officially been crying for 3 hours. Yay. what an accomplishment. Are you happy Cameron? Knowing that the fucking thought of you makes me cry. And when i do cry, I can't breath. I put myself through hell, for you. And what's even worse... I still love you.

-Brandee.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZmvJknzLfU&feature=related

Aly

December 13, 2010 @ (arkansas)

Tags: work

well me and my boyfriend were together about a year and two months. we had talked all summer about going out and when we finally did we hit it off great. i was 17 when we started and he was 18 i know were young. we were together all the time and he started to tell me how much he loved me and cared about me everyday and we became eachotthers first love, and other things if know what i mean. we even went outta of state with eachother to meet the rest of our families. soon into the relationship he asked me to marry him even though i know we're young i felt and seen other young couples make it and grow old together so i said yes. it took me a while to see if i truly loved him or was attached but i ignored it. we then started to fight alot throughout our relationship but always made up and had really good moments. he wasnt just my boyfriend he was like my bestfriend i could tell him anything he was even there for me in my hardtimes. one day i realized if we wanted to get married we had to do something with our life and not just be supported by love so i suggested for me to go to the army which i wanted to do before him and he agreed happily and we were then going to get married after boot camp. as the time got closer for me to leave, his family and friends started to tell him i was gonna end up finding someone else in there but i gave him my word. The time got closer for me to leave and we started to get distant and hung out less and less and i started to stress till one day we got into a huge fight where it got physical just a shove nothing big and i told him i dont think i can do this anymore im tired of the fighting but he told me he still loved me and wanted to be with me so we made up of course and silly me i stayed, funny how around this time hes been hanging out with one of his guys friends and he brought a female over. a week goes by and he starts to act strange more distant, but i ignored and i realized that i do love him and dont wanna lose him. he then stops talking to me for week in a half and i receive a phone call that we should date other ppl because he found someone else and they liked eachother after such a short period of time. i asked him if he loved me and he said yes but we needed to be seperated or take a break, so then it hit me and i asked him that he was basically saying he loved me but wasnt in love with me no more and he said yes, i felt crushed i felt like everything we been through was just a lie. he did this to me a couple weeks before i ship out. his excuse is he didn't want to cheat on me while i was gone, he wasnt saying that months before this he kept telling me i better not leave him. so eventhough im very hurt i know i need to move on, but his friend then asks me if i ever cheated on my ex after this whole breakup, (definetly not, and none of his business) his mother then calls me and tells me that he says does miss me and if he should just let me go since im leaving...HE ALREADY LET ME GOO!! he also has to correct himself because he still accidently says my name. after all this im very confused and hurt and hopes karma comes. i do still wanna believe he still loves but since he did all this it hurts, because i never thought he would do something so low, after how much he would tell me how much he loved me and how could he get involved in another relationship so fast.

Anynomous

November 21, 2010 @ (great britain)

Tags: any advice...

Ihave dated someone for 9 months. He proposed me and even asked my family for permission to get married...
Then it wasnt going anywhere, I wanted to talk about the future, he didnt, was always too tired or any other excuses... Then things became very violent, from his side and mine. We both have bad temper, but we both got worse. I asked him to go and talk to someone, somewhere, so we could sort ourselves out. I do love him... but then he's got a depression, I think it's a lot worse than he wants to admit... and he promised me he was gonna stop smoking marihuana, which turns him into a different person (in a bad way) and makes him very angry and irritable and I think has to do with his depression too... so, he smoked again, inspite of the fact he's on anti-depresants and we argued because of that and his mood swings, his behaviour and all that...... he kicked me out the house, i cried my eyes out. I am in a foreign country with no friends or relatives, so you figure out the rest of the story. I am destroyed, confused, crushed, feeling guilty, lonely and cold. Thinking, I could have done better than getting angry... but then we've been together for 9 months and always argued about his smoking habit..... relations are problematic enough to be adding a drug addition weight on top of all... I even bought tickets to leave the country for Christmas with him.......he doesnt realise how much smoking his thing makes us argue and puts pressure on us....... then he thinks I am yelling because I am a bitch with no other reason but nagging; and I cant put up with the fact that it's always his house and he can kick me out of it when he feels like it; that i always gotta give in if I want things to go smooth, otherwise, we argue....
I wish I had never met him, so I wouldnt be in this position now. I'm 30 and feel terribly sad and lonely, with no friends, family or place to go. I can't talk to anyone, cuz I dont have friends in here really, so I am writing this here, so I can get it out of my chest... I love him so much but I dont even think he realises how much it takes for someone to have the courage to come after the one you love in a foreign land... next time, I'll be more selfish and think more about me...
I feel left alone, sad, disappointed, heartbroken!!!!!!!!!! I thought he was the 1 and I adore him. It just that I dont know what else to do!!!! It's like a battle I cant never win and if he doesnt want to help himself and us, then there's no point in me trying to get this right... but it hurts so much!!! I was gonna spend the rest of my life with him!!! I even thought I could jump out of a building and end this!!!! .... I am just so sad...
Any advice???

NeedsHelp

September 12, 2010 @ (WestCoast)

Tags: Tags

My girlfriend of 9 years broke up with me to be with an old high school friend. The sad part is that I have a feeling that they will eventually get married within the next year or so. I’m absolutely crushed like never before. We’ve had our share of problems throughout our relationship and unfortunately it’s mostly my fault. I feel so stupid for taking her for granted.

We met in college back in 2001 and it started out as the most beautiful thing in this world that either of experienced. We were soul mates and were certain that we’d be together forever. It was like we were two peas in a pod, amongst a campus full of strangers and were very happy we found one another. It didn’t take us but 6 months to move in together we were so in love. However, after graduating college, I struggled for years, and was depressed even, to find a job. She supported us for most of our relationship as she was blessed with a wonderful career as an exceptional community organizer, which she now serves as the executive director of her organization. Me on the other hand, struggled immensely to find my passion, and had several dead end low paying jobs.. This was emotionally hard on me, and most certainly on her. However, we would make the best of our situation by taking various trips around the country and enjoying the natural bond we had for one another. We didn’t have to take trips really we enjoyed staying home together, whether we were intimately conversing about any topic or making passionate love. However, my career struggles took a severe toll on our relationship. I even went through a period of alcohol abuse, which lasted a couple of years. Eventually, after 4 great years she began to loose interest in me, and cheated on me a few times. Although I was obviously crushed, I took her back because I loved her so so much and believed we could work through anything, plus I always envisioned her as the mother of my kids. Fast forward to January 2008, I eventually found a job which pays great and I absolutely love-- finally I’m able to support us and feel good about myself in that regard. We celebrated the entire 2008 in the name of my success and life seemed golden--finally my career struggle was over! Unfortunately I started to drink again and lied several times about it and thus undermining any trust left. At that time, she started to give me warnings that I had to stop or else she’d leave. Fortunately I finally stopped, but we would still argue. She also began to voice, starting in mid-June of this year, that she was growing unsatisfied in our relationship and that we needed to talk. I unfortunately kept prolonging “the talk” and became slightly tuned out every time she said it. Beginning of August I noticed she started to act suspect: she seemed to pay more attention to sending text messages on her smart phone than being in my company. So, I naturally had a hunch something was wrong, so I checked her work email and noticed she made reservations at hotel to be with some random guy, the weekend I was going out of town visit college friends in LasVegas. To make a long painful story short, I confronted her about it over the phone while she was at work, she became shell-shocked that I found out and started crying. We hang up and she eventually came home from work. The first thing she said was we should break up… and that I should‘ve talked to her but now it‘s too late we have to break up. I’m begging and pleading for her to get her to change her mind, and that we should talk now, but she insisted we should break up. The next day I go to work, come back home and she’s gone. I call her and she said we shouldn’t be around each other anymore and one of us needs to move out. Now I’m in further disbelief and shock. What follows after that is even more painful drama, trauma rather, and would take another 500 words or so to explain but I‘ll save the detail--it’s bad.. In short, she’s been at a friends house for the past 3 weeks looking for a place and blocked my number from her cell phone, it turns out this random guy is an old high school friend and they are in a intimate partnership. She even hinted that they are talking about marriage. Meanwhile I’ve been alone in our old apartment reminiscing, broken-hearted but refusing to let go, looking at old pictures and her belongings, under an unbearable amount of sorrow, loss of appetite and motivation, deteriorating self-esteem and ego. I’ve been reading passages from Psalms to make it through the day. My life feels like it’s over.

Jeremy

August 05, 2010 @ (Las Vegas)

Tags: cheat heartbreak

So, I had an extremely huge crush on a girl in my class for almost a year. She was way out of my league, so I spent most of my time daydreaming. One night, she told me she liked me, for a long time. I was shocked, yet happy. We hung out, then I proceeded to ask her out. She said, "Of Course!". About 1 month and a half into the relationship, on her birthday, I came over to her house to surprise her with gifts and balloons. She loved it. That night, I went to a concert with my bestfriend. I lost my phone while there and asked him if I could borrow his to make a call. I used my friend's phone to call my girlfriend to tell her what happened. Just after, I stumbled upon text messages on my friend's phone from my girlfriend. The messages were too friendly. I died inside. After a week of confusion, I had to break up with her, and I had to stop being friend's with my best friend...of 11 years. My ex kept denying everything, that "She was just trying to be friendly" I didn't listen. A few days later, I found out that she never told anyone that we were going out. She kept the relationship a big secret. She told her friends that I never asked her out. She flirted with numerous guys while I thought we were going out. She was even secretly dating another guy behind my back too. The same thing happened to him too. I was the victim of a game she liked to play. She lied to me, cheated, and made me lose my best friend. She took my heart out, branded it, and gave it back to me.

Brenna

May 18, 2010 @ (Michigan)

Tags: break up, cheating, lies, sad, heart broken, broken, depressed

In December of 2009, I started dating this guy. I was really in love with him, and I thought he loved me, too. At the end of the month, I found out he'd been cheating on me with some girl he met online. I decided to give him another chance because he had begged me, and I loved him. So, he tells me he's still cheating, and that he's sorry. I know it's stupid of me, but I gave him ANOTHER chance.

In March, right before my spring break, he tells me that he doesn't love me anymore and that I'm taking all his friends out of his life. I only said I was jealous because he was sleeping in the same bed as his ex girl friend who has a crush on him. (They weren't having sex.) I asked him to stop over a text message and he texted back saying he didn't love me anymore and that he was speaking from his heart.

While I was on vacation over spring break, I met a guy on YouTube, and we exchanged AIMs. On the last day of my vacation, this guy tells me that he's really my ex boyfriend and that he really still loves me, but he doesn't want to get back together.

We stayed apart for a few days after I returned from my vacation, and then he asked me out again. I said yes, because... I have quite the weak spot for him. He promises he loves me and I'm sure he's not cheating anymore, but the fact that he put me through that makes me cry all the time.

Leon

February 12, 2010 @ (US)

Tags: Love? Lust? Lonely?

Well me and this girl were dating for 6 months...She was my first love, I can still honestly say I never met anyone like her...She is really something, Which makes her so special..But sadly I am not the only one who notices those traits. I was in love, We would talk for hours on the phone I would write poems and say the most romantic things I could think of. Things were almost perfect the only problem was that we couldn't see each other as often as we liked. I hated it, and when she told her mother that we were dating....She didn't approve. I was younger and in her book....That's bad. One night she calls me crying her eyes out that she needs time alone ( Her and her mom got in a fist fight and got a black eye out of it ) She said she needs to deal with her problems and needs to break up with me. I was crushed....But I understood and said I would wait for her.
After the break up there were rumors going about that she was cheating on me and that was the real reason she broke up with me....This was coming from my closest friends and there would be no reason for them to lie to me. I believed them. ( Very Bad Choice ). I told her that I don't want to speak to her and to not talk to me, think of me or anything. I hated myself for what I did to her. Days later I called her and she made it clear that the rumors were started by her ex-boyfriend who just wanted to piss her off. It sadly worked and got me into deep trouble. (Oh by the way the day I told her...was on her birthday...yeah..I know..)
I felt like such an idiot. For weeks I tried to do everything in my power for her to forgive me. A few times she said that she doesn't feel the same way anymore for what has happened. (I don't blame her). After a while we start getting the spark back and begin to show feeling again. I still wanted her ever so much and I was waited for the right moment to ask her out again, It was Christmas time and I had a necklace in a box and underneath that box was a letter and a ring, asking her to be mine once more.
I call her to let her know I'm coming over, She starts acting strange and I ask her whats wrong. She tells me that she's not sure If she wants to be with me, "I didn't do anything wrong did I?" I ask her and she say no...But If she really did love me she wouldn't care what her Mom says.
Scared and worried that Ive lost my only chance to have her back I go over the following day with the present and flowers. I get there and she refuses to take the gifts. For fear that she doesn't feel anything for me anymore. We have a long talk and she concludes that the only reason that she wanted me was to pretty much F.... ME!. I refused to believe that fact I doubt that every "I Love You" she ever said to me was to have me in bed... After a long talk I ask her to look at me In the eye and tell me..."You Don't Love Me" she hesitates and finally says it. "I Don't Love You" ...I had nothing left to say...I give her my present and leave.
Weeks pass by and she calls me to say "Sorry, she only said those things because she doesn't want to get attached to me, and doesn't want a boyfriend." I forgive her and say that she could have just said that in the beginning. After a week I notice...Shes flirting with other guys and I see it kind of odd.
I confront her about It and ask If shes ever lied to me...She says that shes not with anyone ...BUT she is starting to like another guy. She starts to cry and tells me that shes truly sorry. I love this girl and there is nothing I can't forgive her for. and so I forgave her and let her know how special she really is to me. The following day, Merely hours before me and her finally get into a good start. The guy she likes starts calling her his girlfriend, and saying how much she means to him.
I didn't know what else to do...I confronted her about it for the last time and she says that she didn't know anything about him calling her his girlfriend. But she is kind of happy that he does indeed call her his girlfriend. The last thing I tell her..Is "I love you...Take Care"

I hope shes okay.

Cameron

October 13, 2009 @ (So. Cal.)

Tags: brother

I had known this girl for a while and always had a crush on her, but she ignored me for about a year until we finally started hooking up. We were actually starting to move towards a relationship when she decided one night to have a threesome with some other skank and my brother. Then, 10 minutes after she had the threesome she came into my room telling me she loved me and trying to have sex with me. I declined. Then to top it all off I wanted to get revenge by having sex with her friend, who is actually quite ugly but it was just the principle. And I just found out last night that her ugly friend is pregnant, keeping the baby, and I'm the father.