Tags: Cameron Cuny
Let's see. It's December... 6months ago.
I was dating this doucher, and I met someone online.He was, perfect? No, perfect is an under-state-ment. Anywys, we fell in love. We both did, instantly.
God, I'm getting flash backs; we celebrated Fourth of July together. July 3rd we met and fell inlove, and became the greatest relationship ever. Hours and Hours on the phone, everynight. Webcams, phones, Im's. But, everyone was right.. Long distance doesn't work.
Anyways... We were amazing, but we only lasted a short time. I remember the breakup so vividly. I was high off of life, hanging out with my best friend, walking home, and as I passed the alleyway across the way from my alley, I got a phone call from my baby. I remember him talking to his buddy breifly, and then getting serious. He just explained to me that it wasn't working. He then asked, if I was alright, and with tears in my eyes, I replied yes. He told me if I needed to cry I could.
Oh I needed to cry alright. But I told him I didn't want him to have to hear it for, I didn't want him to feel bad. I told him I had to go...
My friend Devin was concerned.
I turned around, facing away from her, and cried, silent at first.
I tried to walk, i was so shaken, I couldn't walk, so I stumbled and fell. I sat against the wall, and Devin rushed over. I just started to scream. I couldn't breath, and I was screaming. Devin helped me up while I was still bawling, and she hugged me. I was so crushed. It felt as if he took a kife, rammed it into my heart, and then twisted the blade. After about an hour, I regained enough of my composure to get home..
As sooon as I was in my room, I began to cry again. I turned up my music and cried. After like... roughly 3 hours, Devin went home. I never stopped crying.
I did something I have never done before too.
I became numb. I was in such denial. It was so not over.
I couldn't even feel my heartbeat anymore, and pathetically, I cut myslef. I didn't want to die, I was making sure I was still alive.
He called me. I swear, I just sat there, with the phone muted, crying, screaming, not breathing. he was apologizing. Which broke my heart even more, causing me more pain.
This was the first guy, the first person I have ever felt love for, and he does this too mee? I would tell everyone exactly why he broke up with me, stupid reson, but I don't want to be mean. Why would anyone do this to me? My first real true heart break.. and it still haunts me. 6 MONTHS LATER! Why?
I have cried so many times, just at random, and if any of my friends even say his name, itnsta-cry. Little things remind me of him. Especially the song, It's Not Over- Second HandSerenade. I have listened to it atleast 100 times in the last couple hours. It's 3:46 in the morning.. I have officially been crying for 3 hours. Yay. what an accomplishment. Are you happy Cameron? Knowing that the fucking thought of you makes me cry. And when i do cry, I can't breath. I put myself through hell, for you. And what's even worse... I still love you.
-Brandee.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZmvJknzLfU&feature=related
Tags: work
well me and my boyfriend were together about a year and two months. we had talked all summer about going out and when we finally did we hit it off great. i was 17 when we started and he was 18 i know were young. we were together all the time and he started to tell me how much he loved me and cared about me everyday and we became eachotthers first love, and other things if know what i mean. we even went outta of state with eachother to meet the rest of our families. soon into the relationship he asked me to marry him even though i know we're young i felt and seen other young couples make it and grow old together so i said yes. it took me a while to see if i truly loved him or was attached but i ignored it. we then started to fight alot throughout our relationship but always made up and had really good moments. he wasnt just my boyfriend he was like my bestfriend i could tell him anything he was even there for me in my hardtimes. one day i realized if we wanted to get married we had to do something with our life and not just be supported by love so i suggested for me to go to the army which i wanted to do before him and he agreed happily and we were then going to get married after boot camp. as the time got closer for me to leave, his family and friends started to tell him i was gonna end up finding someone else in there but i gave him my word. The time got closer for me to leave and we started to get distant and hung out less and less and i started to stress till one day we got into a huge fight where it got physical just a shove nothing big and i told him i dont think i can do this anymore im tired of the fighting but he told me he still loved me and wanted to be with me so we made up of course and silly me i stayed, funny how around this time hes been hanging out with one of his guys friends and he brought a female over. a week goes by and he starts to act strange more distant, but i ignored and i realized that i do love him and dont wanna lose him. he then stops talking to me for week in a half and i receive a phone call that we should date other ppl because he found someone else and they liked eachother after such a short period of time. i asked him if he loved me and he said yes but we needed to be seperated or take a break, so then it hit me and i asked him that he was basically saying he loved me but wasnt in love with me no more and he said yes, i felt crushed i felt like everything we been through was just a lie. he did this to me a couple weeks before i ship out. his excuse is he didn't want to cheat on me while i was gone, he wasnt saying that months before this he kept telling me i better not leave him. so eventhough im very hurt i know i need to move on, but his friend then asks me if i ever cheated on my ex after this whole breakup, (definetly not, and none of his business) his mother then calls me and tells me that he says does miss me and if he should just let me go since im leaving...HE ALREADY LET ME GOO!! he also has to correct himself because he still accidently says my name. after all this im very confused and hurt and hopes karma comes. i do still wanna believe he still loves but since he did all this it hurts, because i never thought he would do something so low, after how much he would tell me how much he loved me and how could he get involved in another relationship so fast.
Tags: Boys
Okay so I'm 13 and this guy I'm completely in love with is 15. I met him at my moms old friends apartments becaus he was living there at the time. Well I saw this really amazing guy on this lawn mower and I told my mom he was gorgeous. Well my aunt and mom decided to embarrase me by singing big green tractor. Later that night I was thinking about him constantely. I asked his cousin (moms friend) for his number. Which he gave it to me. I called him and he sounded so cute over the phone. So country. Well we texted fr a while and asked him to send a picture so he did and turns out I thought he was realy ugly. Well he was so sweet .. I texted him just so i wouldn't be mean and he was talking to me while I was sick. Well later on I thought it was annoying so I just ignored his txts. Months went on by, my aunt was moved in at the apartments and so I went to visit here there. Turns out I was dating this other guy and Blake texted me and asked me to meet him outside ". Well first i was scared but I went out and he wouldn't get out and talk to me. He had music full blast on in his truck and so his cousin made him come meet me. Finally I seen him closeup. He was gorgeous. Most amazing guy I had ever laid eyes on. We wen out for a drive with my mom and his cousin. We started talking in the cat, got along very well, then I noticed I started to get flirty. I scooted up very close to him and we looked At eachother phones. We bonded very quickly. After that we was together. Off and on like crazy! I was falling head over hills for him. My aunt let him stay with her one note wen I stayed got 2 hickeys then she tried to cover them up. Me his sister and his little brother got along. We would walk down to the creek a few times and make out in another room in the dark and acted like we seen a mouse but everyone knew better. Later on my mom noticed we was getting very comfortable with eachother. We broke up about a month ago. My fault :( now he won't tlk to ne at all . I think he hates me but I am SOOOO in love with him. I miss him so much and I try my best to get him back but it never works. He is a big and bad country boy who thinks he's all that. I need him. He is still to this day my world and my everything.
Tags: depression, self-esteem
I had this friend that was going through some stuff just like I was. Both him and I were very depressed and so we started talking with one another. One thing after another, we ended up dating.
He lived in another city, so we couldn't see each other much but we talked/emailed each other nonstop everyday. We both thought things were pretty serious. On our official first date, he told me that he loved me and we had our very first kiss. And of course, this is lame but I had felt something when he kissed me. The very next day, he told me on the phone that we had to breakup. His mother told him to not date me for my good. She was afraid that he'd hurt me. I was really torn and depressed but we continued being friends but "with benefits." So it basically still felt like we were still dating. We'd still talk on the phone whenever we could and he'd always tell me that he loves me and other romantic things.
........But then I find out ONLINE that he started going out with this girl WHILE he was still talking with me and saying all that sweet stuff. And to add to it, I found out two WEEKS after they were dating. I was so pissed off and torn that I yelled at him to never talk to me. AND he had the nerve to say that he'd breakup with her if I wanted him to. I didn't want to hurt the other girl and so I told him to do whatever he wanted. He broke up with her and I added her as a friend on ----------. She blabbed out everything to me and said that they were true loves and etc. Then she had the nerve to say that he never liked me in the first place and that he was just thinking that he had feelings for me but in reality, he was madly in love with her.
Things got worse when I wanted to get the truth from him but I couldn't get into contact with him at all. But luckily, I was best friends with his sister and she told me about some things that he told her when he was dating me. He didn't feel anything when we kissed and he felt like he was pressured into saying that he loves me. She did me a favor and did a 3-way phone call and I listened into their conversation. I know it was wrong to do so but it cleared everything up. I heard him say that I reminded him of her ex from 3 years ago and so thats why he dated me. I became depressed and sad from that point on.
There were moments where I thought to myself that I should hate him for everything but I couldn't bring myself to do that. I blamed myself for it. I blamed myself for not noticing that he cut the time we usually talk together down. I blamed myself and said to myself that I deserved it. Even now, I think how could a plain girl like me ever get a guy like him to like me....I eventually gave up and now I don't enjoy everyday life and feel like I have to drag myself to make it through the day...
Tags: tragedy
So there was this guy that I met at 15 when I moved to my new school. He was 16 and I remember when we first met, I felt electricity and I couldn't take my eyes off him...how cheesy is that? Ever since then we've never been able to completely be away from each other and for a while he was all I had. We've never been officially a couple due to a few problems. One, we fight like cats and dogs. In the beginning I held back and whenever he would say hurtful things I would try to avoid him but then he would just get mad and say that I was running away. That didn't last because eventually I got tired of taking his shit, and that's when the fights really started picking up. He lies, he tries to make things seem as if they're my fault, and frankly he is the biggest asshole I've ever met.
Here's where it gets even crazier we would stop talking for a month after the fights and then he would come back and we would start it up all over again. As we got older though, there were a few things that were brought to my attention. Any time I made a new friend at school, if he knew them, he would tell me not to be friends with them. Turns out, he has tried to sabotage 90% of the friendships I made, as if he was trying to keep me isolated. If I had even thought about dating another guy, he would get pissed but if he dated someone else then I'm bitter. I even remember on one of his drunken nights, he called me and told me that as much as he hated me, he wanted to be with me.
I knew that a lot of our pent up frustration was partially due to the fact that we didn't have sex. So, in the year that I turned 18 we had sex. It was pretty amazing and it actually helped. But of course, it didn't last..Skipping on threw, I went to college and he doesn't go to college so we stopped speaking b/c of another girl and when she broke up with him, he came to me. Btw that's what he does, whenever a girl hurts him, he finds me. So he started talking to me more, and he gained my trust again and when I went home for spring break we met on a car port surrounded by buildings, beautiful and romantic lol. And summer came around and we were having frustration fussing so we had sex. That's when everything became functional, until he got worried that I was pregnant. We don't use condoms and I'm not on the pill, DUMB. Thank god, I wasn't pregnant and so I went back to school. We kept in touch regularly until october and I hadn't heard from him until this morning. We had a small fight and he said that he misses me but I need to grow up and that we could talk when I learn how! Rude much, so I called him a dumb unnecessary bitch and blocked him. I'm not dumb, I go home in two weeks, so he's trying to fix his shit before i come home. So I know he'll contact me. that's pretty much why I blocked him so he'll have no choice but to text or call me. In the beginning this chaos was fun, but now that I'm older I just want stability. This was the first real fight we've had in a year so things have been getting better. But I just can't get passed that he hasn't even tried to talk to me for more than a month. I love him so much it hurts. I've loved him even before he took my virginity. He truly is the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. But people in hell want ice water. He can't let me go, and I can't let him go either. He has a few issues. He's had a pretty rough life, and I'm the only girl who has stayed and that scares him. Guys I've spoked to about this have told me, that I'm the one who could truly destroy him. He himself has told me that I have more power over him than I realize. Even when we have sex, it's not mindless fucking, it's quite emotional and he's the one that wants to be gentle with me while I want to get a little wild lol. He wanted me to stay in atlanta for school, and frankly I think that's what I should have done. There is another guy and there is another girl but unfortunately they're now part of a list of people that are for the purpose of taking our minds off of the other. They've been caught up in the tragedy of me and dylan. I just hope we learn to really love each other before we destroy each other.
Tags: 23
ight it all started 9 months ago wen i started talking to this girl from PR. we talked on my space and facebook, aim, etc. Then she decided to come live wit me, then I thought koo. everythings all good like 6 or 7 months go by then she got pregnant and I thought things we going good, but no like a month after that she says she fell outa love wit me and wants to go bak home. And I treated her basically like a queen and all of sudden wants to end it? no idea wat went wrong.
Tags: Tags
My girlfriend of 9 years broke up with me to be with an old high school friend. The sad part is that I have a feeling that they will eventually get married within the next year or so. I’m absolutely crushed like never before. We’ve had our share of problems throughout our relationship and unfortunately it’s mostly my fault. I feel so stupid for taking her for granted.
We met in college back in 2001 and it started out as the most beautiful thing in this world that either of experienced. We were soul mates and were certain that we’d be together forever. It was like we were two peas in a pod, amongst a campus full of strangers and were very happy we found one another. It didn’t take us but 6 months to move in together we were so in love. However, after graduating college, I struggled for years, and was depressed even, to find a job. She supported us for most of our relationship as she was blessed with a wonderful career as an exceptional community organizer, which she now serves as the executive director of her organization. Me on the other hand, struggled immensely to find my passion, and had several dead end low paying jobs.. This was emotionally hard on me, and most certainly on her. However, we would make the best of our situation by taking various trips around the country and enjoying the natural bond we had for one another. We didn’t have to take trips really we enjoyed staying home together, whether we were intimately conversing about any topic or making passionate love. However, my career struggles took a severe toll on our relationship. I even went through a period of alcohol abuse, which lasted a couple of years. Eventually, after 4 great years she began to loose interest in me, and cheated on me a few times. Although I was obviously crushed, I took her back because I loved her so so much and believed we could work through anything, plus I always envisioned her as the mother of my kids. Fast forward to January 2008, I eventually found a job which pays great and I absolutely love-- finally I’m able to support us and feel good about myself in that regard. We celebrated the entire 2008 in the name of my success and life seemed golden--finally my career struggle was over! Unfortunately I started to drink again and lied several times about it and thus undermining any trust left. At that time, she started to give me warnings that I had to stop or else she’d leave. Fortunately I finally stopped, but we would still argue. She also began to voice, starting in mid-June of this year, that she was growing unsatisfied in our relationship and that we needed to talk. I unfortunately kept prolonging “the talk” and became slightly tuned out every time she said it. Beginning of August I noticed she started to act suspect: she seemed to pay more attention to sending text messages on her smart phone than being in my company. So, I naturally had a hunch something was wrong, so I checked her work email and noticed she made reservations at hotel to be with some random guy, the weekend I was going out of town visit college friends in LasVegas. To make a long painful story short, I confronted her about it over the phone while she was at work, she became shell-shocked that I found out and started crying. We hang up and she eventually came home from work. The first thing she said was we should break up… and that I should‘ve talked to her but now it‘s too late we have to break up. I’m begging and pleading for her to get her to change her mind, and that we should talk now, but she insisted we should break up. The next day I go to work, come back home and she’s gone. I call her and she said we shouldn’t be around each other anymore and one of us needs to move out. Now I’m in further disbelief and shock. What follows after that is even more painful drama, trauma rather, and would take another 500 words or so to explain but I‘ll save the detail--it’s bad.. In short, she’s been at a friends house for the past 3 weeks looking for a place and blocked my number from her cell phone, it turns out this random guy is an old high school friend and they are in a intimate partnership. She even hinted that they are talking about marriage. Meanwhile I’ve been alone in our old apartment reminiscing, broken-hearted but refusing to let go, looking at old pictures and her belongings, under an unbearable amount of sorrow, loss of appetite and motivation, deteriorating self-esteem and ego. I’ve been reading passages from Psalms to make it through the day. My life feels like it’s over.
Tags: JoLeigh
My Boyfriend and Me were together for 7 months when it all started. He found out his Uncle (which was like his dad) had cancer. I was ALWAYS there for him, and ALWAYS tried to make him feel better. I sat in the hospital with him a couple of times, to try to make him feel better. He starting acting different around me when all this happend, He was alot more mean & starting acting like he didnt care anymore. I kept telling him how he was hurting my feelings but the fighting continued. At the first of July everything starting going down hill. We fought everyday. I always trie telling him how i felt but he never listened to me. One night around the usual time he calls me He said he wasnt going to call because he was watching a movie. I just asked him If a movie was more important than me? and he said I get mad over the littest things. All I wanted was to talk to my boyfriend? The next night, I texted him and asked him if he was getting tired of me? And he said I dont know, I just need time. So that scared me and I called him. Well apparently he didnt have enough respect for me to go somewhere private so we could talk about this. Because all I could hear in the back ground was people talking & he was saying was Idk Idk Idk to every question I asked. That night I decided to ignore him for the rest of the night & the next few days, hopeing that would make him realize how much he had hurt my feelings. But that was a horrible mistake because all he did was get more pissed at me over it. I finally broke down and texted him a few days after this and all he texted back was," You know we are not dating anymore, Right?" That broke my heart. I called him and we talked for 1 hour & a half. He wanted to take a 2 week break from our relationship because he was so "stressed" & needed time to think. So I was like Okay maybe this will Help out relationship. We went 2 days without talking and i was miserable. I missed him so much. A couple of more days went by and I found out from some of our friends he had been "talking" to another girl. And he denyed it when I asked him. & even his sister said he liked her & they were talking. I told him I was done and I wanted all my stuff back from him. 2 weeks went by, and We havent talked. He has left picture comments on that girls pictures, and ive seen them. Lastnight I broke down and asked him,"Honestly do you miss me?" All he wrote back was, " Kinda, but no not really." I was crying so hard I had a panic attack. Now here I am, Alone. I try to talk to other boys but all they do is remind me of him. I cry everytime Im not with someone being occupied. I miss him ALOT, & knowing im not good enough for him to love me forver like he promised kills me every second. Im depressed & not happy anymore. Ive always been a happy person but I cant even smile anymore. Next monday we would have been together 9 months, I still feel like texting him and saying Happy 9 month Anniversary sweetheart, I love you with all my heart, but i know I cant. God makes everything happen for a reason but i dont feel that this is a blessing or to make things better. Maybe one day someone will bring back the smile on my face.
Tags: 8 year dream
I was with a girl for 7.5 months. When we first met she told me that she was going to try and get back together with her ex.8 years earlier I had begged God to show me the girl I was to marry. I had seen this girl and her dad for 8 years in my dreams and had been looking every day. 2 days before my 23 b-day,I took her out to dinner and it was my first date.We ended up hanging out more and more. FOund out later she was with a guy I knew and was having sex. I am a true Christian and wanted to show her that sex wasn't how you loved someone it was just being with the that mattered most. Her ex had messed up her head. I got drunk for the first time forher and apparently I woke up next morning with no clothes on. I lost my virginity.To me it was the most sacred thing I wanted to give my wife to say this is all that I am and I am giving it to you. We ended up doing it a lot and I thought she would stay with me. She was talking with her ex the whole time and I hated that but was trying to show I cared. He came back 4 two weeks and she had sex with him. I had just given her a 200 dollar pair of earrings saying the night before don't forget about me. She came back and we were together for a few months then she started working at a place full of guys then the there was no contact with her. I was like what the crap. She didnt tell me anything. I had nightmares of me being in the room while she was having sex with a guy I had never seen. Later found out she was seeing a guy from work. And that she had finally broken up with her ex.
I said is there any way that we could start over since she now had a clear head. No. She never once loved me or had feelings for me. They were all transferred from her ex to me. Sorry.
In the end I gave my virginity so she wouldn't go to another guy who would use her for sex,gave her my heart, mind, body and soul. I waited 8 years for this girl and she took everything and said it meant nothing. Now I am afraid to even ask a girl out because I believed in her. One time after sex she was like what is your favorite part. aka on her body. I pointed to her heart. I never wanted sex. I kept telling her it was just holding her hand, being in her arms, and looking into her eyes that made me forget everything. Now I fear she is destroying her future. All I can do is pray
I met my ex through a woman that I worked with (Who, in retrospect, turned out to be as much of a nutcase as my ex). So my ex and I fall "in love" and after about a year of dating, we're engaged.
At this point my soon-to-be husband had been living in the dorms on the military base an hour a way from my home. He promises that he would make the commute a little easier and move closer- even just a little(He doesn't have a car so I'm doing all the driving). So the time comes for him to find a new apartment and I find out that he completely disregards his originally promise and moves about 25 minutes the other direction. Great. We get into a fight, he tells me it's over. I spend the night miserable. The next morning I call him and we work out our issues- he then proceeds to tell me that he got mad at me and "closed" our wedding account (That he hadn't contributed a penny to) and that he left the money at the bank. Of course I find out later that he actually spent it in one night on god knows what. Like an idiot I forgive him and we continue to date....
Nine months later I drive to his apartment (still an hour and 25 minutes away) with red velvet cupcakes and plans for a romantic evening. I help myself in, he's cleaning the bathroom. I give him a big hug... and right as were having this nice moment I see the words "I want my first child to be yours." as an incoming test message. Long story short- He had been cheating on me with this chick for a while. I left heartbroken. The next week I get a death threat from the girl he cheated on me with telling me to leave him alone. I write her off as being crazy but call my ex to talk to him about it. We're talking again anf of course he says he loves me. A couple days later he "loses" his phone and is calling me from a friend's phone to tell me how he wants to work our relationship out and that he needs me. A week later I get a call from his family telling me that he was getting a restraining order against me for stalking him (really long drive to stalk someone), that he changed his number because he was afraid for his safety and that I was crazy. Two weeks later and totally not stalking him- I'm posting lovely new pictures of me and my new love interest. It's a win-win, I found someone better and he'll never have to worry about me "stalking" him again.
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