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JoLeigh

July 20, 2010 @ (Tennessee)

My Boyfriend and Me were together for 7 months when it all started. He found out his Uncle (which was like his dad) had cancer. I was ALWAYS there for him, and ALWAYS tried to make him feel better. I sat in the hospital with him a couple of times, to try to make him feel better. He starting acting different around me when all this happend, He was alot more mean & starting acting like he didnt care anymore. I kept telling him how he was hurting my feelings but the fighting continued. At the first of July everything starting going down hill. We fought everyday. I always trie telling him how i felt but he never listened to me. One night around the usual time he calls me He said he wasnt going to call because he was watching a movie. I just asked him If a movie was more important than me? and he said I get mad over the littest things. All I wanted was to talk to my boyfriend? The next night, I texted him and asked him if he was getting tired of me? And he said I dont know, I just need time. So that scared me and I called him. Well apparently he didnt have enough respect for me to go somewhere private so we could talk about this. Because all I could hear in the back ground was people talking & he was saying was Idk Idk Idk to every question I asked. That night I decided to ignore him for the rest of the night & the next few days, hopeing that would make him realize how much he had hurt my feelings. But that was a horrible mistake because all he did was get more pissed at me over it. I finally broke down and texted him a few days after this and all he texted back was," You know we are not dating anymore, Right?" That broke my heart. I called him and we talked for 1 hour & a half. He wanted to take a 2 week break from our relationship because he was so "stressed" & needed time to think. So I was like Okay maybe this will Help out relationship. We went 2 days without talking and i was miserable. I missed him so much. A couple of more days went by and I found out from some of our friends he had been "talking" to another girl. And he denyed it when I asked him. & even his sister said he liked her & they were talking. I told him I was done and I wanted all my stuff back from him. 2 weeks went by, and We havent talked. He has left picture comments on that girls pictures, and ive seen them. Lastnight I broke down and asked him,"Honestly do you miss me?" All he wrote back was, " Kinda, but no not really." I was crying so hard I had a panic attack. Now here I am, Alone. I try to talk to other boys but all they do is remind me of him. I cry everytime Im not with someone being occupied. I miss him ALOT, & knowing im not good enough for him to love me forver like he promised kills me every second. Im depressed & not happy anymore. Ive always been a happy person but I cant even smile anymore. Next monday we would have been together 9 months, I still feel like texting him and saying Happy 9 month Anniversary sweetheart, I love you with all my heart, but i know I cant. God makes everything happen for a reason but i dont feel that this is a blessing or to make things better. Maybe one day someone will bring back the smile on my face.