Tags: Acceptance
We met when I was 21 and she was just turning 18, a little over 5 years ago. There was instant attraction and our relationship advanced quickly. I knew deep down that neither of us were mature enough to be in a long term committed relationship, but we stuck together anyways. There were a lot of good times, fun memories, amazing sex and we were always there for eachother through the ups and downs. About two years into the relationship there were multiple infadelities-- she started sleeping with one of my good friends behind my back and I had slept around with more than 1 girl. Despite this huge blow to our trust and relationship, we stuck together after we came clean with each other on what we had done. In hindsight I know that we stuck together because we were attached and had some form of needyness with each other. I feel weak to admit that, but I honestly just felt attached and couldn't let her go despite the fact that we had both hurt each other severely and that we deserved better. I knew in my heart at the time that I should have let her go, but my impulsive needyness forced me to hold on to a relationship that had become toxic. Since then we tried to rebuild the foundation of trust in our relationship, but we were fighting an uphill battle and there was just too much insecurity and distrust towards eachother. A year and a half ago we moved in together, which was a big mistake. Things were ok on the surface, but deep down we both felt disconnected and unhappy with the relationship. Along the way we became very short tempered and irritated with eachother. She would yell and call me names, I would yell back and say hurtful things-- stuff you just don't do when you say that you love someone. I knew in my heart for a long time it was not right and that I needed to let go, but I just didn't have the courage to part company with her. I feel ashamed for having held on to something that I knew was not right for me. We broke up about 5 weeks ago after she did not come home one night. She told me she went out to party with her friends and stayed with a female co-worker, but my intuition told me otherwise. We both agreed that we were not right together and both needed to stand on our own two feet. We were together for 5 and a half years and although I know that it was not the right relationship for me I still feel a deep sense of loss an emotional pain. Despite having hurt eachother I had considered her my best friend-- we did everything together and wanted desperately to make things work. I have been trying so hard for the last 5 weeks to look at the reality of the relationship, but my mind keeps wanting to tell me that we could have made it work or that I should have been a better man. The fact is I was immature and acted with the level of maturity and awareness that I had at the time-- I think it's fair to say that she did too. I keep beating myself up over what I could have done differently and all the what if's, but it has only held me back from letting go and moving on. I am trying so hard to accept that it's over, but still find myself hoping for reconciliation in the future-- hope that is eating me up inside. I know that we both deserve better and that it cannot work. I am not one to share my personal story on an online forum such as this, but I started reading a book the other day that suggested I post about the breakup on this website. It has been helpful typing this story up and putting things into perspective. I think it's important that I look at my past relationship logically rather than feed off of my emotions. Anyways, I know my story probably sounds crazy or like I am a bad guy for having cheated, but I would appreciate any feedback. I am now 26 and have come to so many realizations in reflecting on the relationship. I really want to better myself and become the best man that I can be not only for myself, but so that I can have a healthy, loving relationship in the future. Most importantly I want to love myself so I never put myself in a toxic relationship again where I think that I don't deserve better. Anyways, stay strong to everyone that is going through similar heart break or emotional pain. Everyone keeps telling me it will pass-- I just hope that it does sooner than later!
Tags: breakup
We met back in high school, good friends I can say. Yes I was attracted to him but never paid attention to that. he's older so he graduated before I did and we lost contact. 3 years later I randomly thought of him and look him up on Facebook. We exchange numbers and make plans to hang out. We hung out a few times just as friends,it was great I had a blast with him. We spent every night together just hanging out for about a month then he invites me to his place and, we hook up. He admits to me he had a thing for me back in high school too. We start seeing each other and after awhile we discuss ”us” and we agree to take things to the next level later on cause we're not ready. I loved everything about being with him, everything. We often had fights but that never really effected us. The situation at home took a turn for the worse when I had to make the decision of moving out of state, rather far. I try to find an alternate solution before breaking it to him but no luck. I break the news to him - I'd never seen him so angry. Not the reaction I was expecting. Everything went downhill from there. I wasn't suppose to leave for another 2 months though but we started to drift before that. I start seeing someone else - rebound I guess, I was both hurt and angry at him. He cuts me off when he finds out about it. It turns out Im staying and not moving out of state, still moving from that town though. I was over him, I thought. All my things are packed, half of my furniture is out. He lives maybe 10 blocks from me, 3 minute drive. I feel so guilty about the way things ended so I get in contact with him and ask him to see me. It took some convincing but he agreed to see me that night. He picks me up, the car ride is silent until I b lurt out how sorry I am. We never officially ended what we had, so when I got with this new guy, he was under the impression that we were still together and that's why he cut off - a total misunderstanding. That evening/morning was amazing. I thought everything would go back to normal, maybe even better than before. He drops me off in the morning, says he can see himself falling in love with me and that even when I was with that other guy I was still his girl and all this other bullshit. I go to bed, and wake up to his texts. We talk all day and all night. But that's the last day I saw him. The Next day he doesn't reply to anything I send him. Days go by, and still nothing. I was so utterly confused and hurt. I resort to Facebook I finally get a reply and all he says is ” what do you want?” I get the hint, just don't understand why. But okay, whatever.
It never occurred to me that I didn't mention to him that I wasn't moving out of state.
Months go by. I'm with other men but none of them phase me - the way he did. I get in contact with him and we end up having a very casual conversation. At the very least I thought we could keep our friendship but again, cuts me off. Wtf!
Here I am a year later, still thinking about him. I can't have a successful relationship because I still have some very strong feelings for him.
All my friends tell me to let it go... How many times have I tried that already? It seems impossible. It's not that I want to be with him, I just want an explanation so I can sleep at night.
If I had the opportunity to talk to him, do you think I should? I wouldn't know what to say or how to say it. I don't know how he'd react to me..
Tags: confused
i been with my partner for almost 3 years and for the last couple of months he has been finding any reason he can to fight with me and i dont know why he even told me that im just a slut that no guy will ever want ive never cheated on him ive never hurt him im always trying to keep him happy but its like he just doesnt care but anyway i have been talking to my dads friends son who is also a really good friend of mine and hes always been there for me ever since we met but recently he asked me to leave my partner to move down with him because hes in love with me and i love my partner with all my heart but i dont think he loves me anymore but i dont know whether i should stay with him or call it quits while i still can even my dad wants me to leave him but says that its my choice my friend is a really good guy who always tells me im beautiful and that i deserve more and that he loves how im kind to everyone and i put all my friends and family before myself but i really dont know what to do can anyone help me please??
i was dumped on exmas day. it hurt soo much. to make things worse we had just bought a house ten days before!!! i felt like it was the end of the world! it still hurts a lot that people can mess u up just like that - espically someone u loved so much. i moved away from friends and family and now i am stuck in a nightmare. when i finish work and come home i am so lonely. time passing has helped but doesnt hide the fact my life is in ruins....
Tags: betrayal..sex..other man
hi im new to this website...an i jus needed a place to tell my story...imma start off by saying...i jus turned 25 an i was in a 4 year relationship wit a man named jamall...the first 2 years with him was great .he proposed an life was cool until 2 months later after the engagement i caught him in a online affair wit a girl a state away ..so i broke offf the engagment ...so the next 2 years i had caught him up in many lies...until 2010 he started dj at a local club...i felt like i had to live up to his image..he was getting noticable an hott...so i felt as a dj girlfriend i should look da part an i did i bought fake ass pads...an the nicest clothes to meet his standards..well after a year doin that i became someone else i lost my idenity an started becoming someone i didnt recongize...an his actions were getting worst ..until on day in may of 2011 changed my life forever..i meet a guy who was in da army ...he was everything my boyfriend wasnt ...so by that point my boyfriend was doin his thing an he stopped showing me love an care..an attention ..so when this new guy came in my life to provide me all that i loved it...so on our first date we had sex...it was the best sex i ever had...an it jus happened ..we enjoyed it an the feeling we were feeling so we decided to see each other again an again sex sex an more sex...feelings were getting involved an we didnt care he was single i wasnt but it felt soo right ...so he had to leave for germany 3 weeks into me cheating i had fell inlove with him ..an had a man at hme..but i didnt care i was happy an myself with the army guy...so he left an i was faced with my bf back hme..it was the most miserable time ever...i continued to talk to the army guy for 6 months until he came hme again on leave in december 2011 ..we were inlove at that point an i was ready to leave my bf..an all i wanted was the army guy well...i had came across my bf had been sleeping wit a 19 yer old since november 2011 an i found out all this in february on my bday..i was floored ...he say he still loves me but he cant treat me right ...his actions are wht ran me off in the first place ...i really love the army guy an he loves me 2 we r sooo happy together ...i dnt kno if i should leave my 4 year relationship or leve my 10 month affair...please u guys help me but i love the army guy he is da one but my bf we only have time no kids no future plans no promises so ill take all the advice u can give
Tags: Jill, jack, pale of water
One night my best friend and I were waiting for my parents to pick us up from a party when my phone started buzzing. When I looked down It was a guy in my grade named jack, it was really random since we hardly ever text. And at that moment, when I got that text I knew I liked him and he liked me. We started texting from early in the morning to late at night everyday, and we never ran out of things to talk about. He finally asked me out at school and we were the most adorable couple. At parties it was always just him and I hanging out being all over each other and being little kids together. He was so sweet to me. And then things started getting rocky. Suddenly he wouldn't text me as much and he would make the rudest comments to me. Then he just broke up with me. I mean it's not like I didn't have it coming because I knew we were having problems anyways. But I was still heart broken. He then started flirting with all my friends and getting super close to my best friend, the same girl in the beginning. But one night when I was missing him the most he texted me saying how sorry he was and how he wanted me back so badly. I agreed and immediately went to tell my best friend excitedly. She broke down in tears over the phone saying how sorry she was and what a terrible friend she had been. She then explained how jack and her were talking the whole time we were dating and how she technically got him to break up with me. I was so confused and happy and heart broken at the same time. But I trusted her and forgave them both. Even tho he doesn't know that I know he did that. We dated a few more months and all of a sudden he broke up with me again. She did the exact same thing to me again. Now I can't look at either of them the way I used to. I don't want to forgive, when now I can't forget..
Tags: Morgan
Me and my ex were together for 4 years. Last year he got into drugs. It ruined our relationship. He lied, stole and cheated.
When we first got together I had just gotten out of a relationship and he was in a bad one. We leaned on each other for comfort and ended up falling in love. I felt we had the perfect relationship. It was us against the world. We brought a beautiful child into the world and had the perfect happy family.
The stuff he has done to me while on drugs is unthinkable. The person I fell in love with was sweet, understanding, funny, considerate, everything I wanted out of a partner.
For 3 weeks prior to our breakup he got clean. It was great. I felt like we were falling in love all over again. Things were happy and he was being a wonderful father again. Then he left for the store that one faitful day and did not come back. He gave me some excuse about being kidnapped by old druggie friends. Came back the next day with my car wrecked and a girl. He stopped coming home after that and finally 4 days later I had enough and I packed up me and my son's stuff and moved out. Apparently that girl moved in the same day I left and they were together since then.
In the following 2 months he turned our family home into a drug house, went on leave from his job, totalled his car, and ended up in jail, oh and lost our home because he was jailed.
A couple of days into his jail stint we talked on the phone and he cried and appologized for everything he had done. We kinda reconciled but a week after he got released he started lying to me about texting someone. He got really defensive about who he was talking to just like he would do to me when he was doing drugs. He wont stop lying and I do not think I can get over the pain he has caused me and my son. He used to be wonderful and now he is the complete opposite. I am at a crossroads with our relationship and not sure what to do. My gut instinct tells me to run screaming into the hills and my heart is saying work it out with him.
Tags: YoungLove
We didn't talk much and he was one of those "to cool" kids.I am a mexican girl in like a white school.So i never actually got to grab his attention.I then was in his class for 5th grade.At first we didn't talk much.But then i gave him my number.We talked all day long every single day.We got closer and closer.The thing is he had a girlfriend named (changing name) Sam.They have been dating for a while and he loved her very much.As time went by i had huge feelings for him.I Then Told Him I Liked Him So Much.We were the best of friends.As time passed again he told me he had feelings for me too.Then summer of 2011 he broke up with Sam.We then went out June 1st.We were such a cute couple in school.I Would Always Kiss Him Hold His Hand Everything You could imagine was cute in the relationship.I Then Became Jealous of him Talking to Sam.He was jealous i talked to boys too.We would fight after the next 3 months in our relationship.I loved him sooo very much and still do.Then February came of 2012. I Became very frustrated and had so much stress on me.I Broke Up with Him.He kept begging me back and asking me out,i would always say NoNoNO and change the conversation.We were both a mess.I Cried every night.His friends would tell me he was a mess.But the next thing i know i get a text.He said he was with Sam again.My heart collapsed.He cheated on her kissing me like three times.I Caused them trouble and he told me to keep quiet about him cheating.I Then Busted out with anger and said stuff i wish i didnt.Now we have a awkward friendship with hate.He is still with sam.And i still love him more than anything but im moving on and i Am annoying telling him i want him back.He then said it feels bad when the one you love rejecting you doesn't it.I Then Still waste my time thinking about him and being forever alone.3.
Tags: Example 1
My sister gave her friend my number and instantly we started hitting it off. We talked everyday and all day long as well as hung out as much as possible. One day I asked her if she wanted to be official and she agreed. We were together for a few weeks and in that few weeks she said she loved me. I on the other hand wasnt ready to tell her that. Then a few days later she texted me in the middle of the night saying she rushed into the relationship and wasn't ready to be with someone. This was strange because days before she was saying things the COMPLETE opposite. She said she still wanted to talk and hang out and be together but just not officially. So I agreed and things kept going for a week until one day I was at her house playing a game on her iphone when randomly this kid texted her calling her "babe" I was skeptical so I went through the conversation while she wasn't looking and I found days worth of conversations with stuff like her saying "I want you" and "I miss you babe" (stuff she usually says to me) So i showed it to her and she freaked out and begged me not to leave and me being the idiot i was spent all night listening to her explain herself. She said that he meant nothing to her and one of the main reasons she broke up with me in the first place was that "there was another guy" which turned out to be her ex. This devastated me but when we were making up and spending the night together I told her I loved her. We were so close for a while until one day she texted my sister and told her "I make her feel like shit sometimes" which makes no sense because I had done nothing wrong. She told me she needed space from me and said If i dont do so then I'll "lose her forever" I spent two weeks not talking to her and in those two weeks I was in a deep depression and couldn't enjoy anything I once loved doing. So one day she texted me saying she missed me and took me back but once again she went through this stupid little phase she had where she just wouldn't talk to me or wouldn't call me "babe" or call me "her boyfriend" I checked her facebook and she flirts with SO many guys she calls them "babe" and "boo" and I just couldn't believe my eyes. I texted her 8 pages of everything that I felt and told her that she made no effort in the relationship and treated me like an idiot. She then proceeded to deny flirting and talking with other guys when I can clearly see her doing it on facebook. I broke up with her and she told me it was all my fault. Pssh yeah right. I know Im a good guy and I didnt deserve that. Fuck any girl who is a tease and thinks flirting with a million guys is cool. You aren't cool. It's unattractive and makes you look like a slut/idiot/bitch that no one likes
Tags: Bestfriends, Friendship, Heartbreak, Love,
Hey everyone,
First of all, I'm going to change his name to...Johnny. Anyways. So Johnny and I had been bestfriends for a while. We were the best of best friends. We memorized eachother's daily routines down to when we got up to when we slept, what class we had on what day, and had a lot of insiders. He went to a school a little far from where I live so we never really saw each other because we met on Facebook but we had Skyped a lot. It wasn't until he said he was in love with me but at the time, i was in another relationship with a guy I had been with for a year and some months. Very sweet guy. But when it came to communication, my boyfriend at the time would never really talk to me. Every time I'd cry or feel sad I always went to Johnny because he was always there. At any hour of the night, i could call him and even though he was asleep he'd wake up just to talk.
So October cam around and I had feelings for Johnny as well but I knew I had to probably break up with my boyfriend at the time because things became very distant. My boyfriend at the time was going to San Francisco for 2 months. He couldn't even keep up communication when we were apart (and him living in my same area) what made you think he'd still talk to me when he left so I broke up with him. 2 Weeks later I started dating Johnny and he made me the most happiest girl in the world. And soon after that, we started doing things in bed (not necessarily sex but things extremely close to it) In fact we tried but we couldn't because it was difficult.
Anyways, so around last week (Feb.20) I noticed I hadn't gotten my period and suffered a lot of symptoms of pregnancy. I told him and he reassured me that I wasn't. Guys take it easier but for a girl, its tormenting, especially if it wasn't planned. So, I told him we needed a test. He agreed to buy me one when I saw him. (I only really saw him on Saturdays due to gas and distance) But my mind was dying to know so, I told my mom what was going on, because I was concerned. She took it okay in the beginning but when I told Johnny, i could tell he was upset but took it cool. My mom bought me the test and it came out negative thank god. But I had a feeling I did it wrong because I still felt bloated and it was already the 8th day of it. Soon, my dad found out and had a talk with Johnny and I just saying that we were lucky and what not. And to try and abstain from it.
My paranoia took the best of me because I still felt really sick so I went to the doctor to go get blood work done and thank goodness, it was negative again. I started the next day and things ended like that. But I told Johnny we'd have to be more careful and that even if its not real intercourse, its still possible. Soon after, I noticed that he became more distant so I kept telling him if something was bothering him, he could tell me. I still loved him a lot. But apparently, he didn't feel the same for me anymore.
He claimed that he never used me and it wasn't because of what happened but according to all the things he said through text (Oh by the way, he dumped me over TEXT) he didn't care much about anything I had to say. And after that, bam. He deleted me off of facebook and all communication ended there.
How can some guys be so mean...especially since he was my bestfriend and boyfriend. I trusted him so much. But I felt more anger/disappointment than sadness. I guess its true what they say..Don't date your bestfriend.
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