Tags: Bet, In Love, Young, Naive, High School, Virginity, Fake Friends, Bad People
So, I'm eighteen now but I'm going to rewind a year to my sophomore year..
~2 YEARS AGO~
When I was 16 I moved to California from Atlanta.. When I got here I was well known because of my skin color and my suprising hair length.. I got some secret admirers during the first few months and some not so secret admirers.. For the most part I had a very small group of girl friends but a large group of acquaintances.. Everyone I knew I was introduced to by one of my friends.. I was invited to a party about a month after I arrived by one of my friends (let's call her Becca). So Becca introduced me to three guys at the party (Let's call them Luke, Nate, and Daniel). So Luke and I really hit it off and we started to hang out.. Everywhere Becca took me Luke was there.. After another month of us hanging out we officially started dating.. He was so sweet to me and I remember always thinking.. 'I'm so in love with this guy'.. We spent every moment together and he treated me so well.. When I got a job at this tanning spa he would always bring me food and gifts.. After another month of this he started to disappear.. I wasn't really worried about it at the time because I was a dumb love-struck child.. After a few weeks of absence with only phone calls he reappeared and his charm was in over-drive.. Around this time rumors started floating around school that I was a slut and all that shit and that Luke got me pregnant.. I asked him about it and he just insisted that they were jealous and told me he loved me.. He told me this every day five times a day almost for the next three weeks.. And then he proposed... (Yes, he proposed to me at 16.. And my dumb ass said 'yes') Welp.. I lost my virginity that night.. (Don't judge me.. He's a con-artist) And the gifts, the visits, the 'I love you's, the calls, everything.. Stopped. I was still infatuated with him and I refused to believe he used me.. He never proposed with a ring which should've told me that he wasn't serious but I thought him saying 'I love you' was good enough.. The rumors at school got worse in his absence and I heard an interesting theory swirling around.. It was a bet. I refused to believe it at first until I decided to ask Becca about it.. She just cried and cried and cried.. She kept telling me she was sorry and she didn't know he would actually do it.. Turns out my 'friends' Nate and Daniel bet Luke $200 dollars that he couldn't take my virginity before the year was up.. TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS IS WHAT MY VIRTUE MEANT TO THEM!! Luke came back to school a month later and acted as if I was invisible.. I stopped talking to all my friends and found a new group.. I confronted Luke a week later and he said he just fell out of love and the bet never existed which I know is bullshit because he somehow got a new paintjob for his car.. I didn't cry.. I wasn't sad.. I was pissed beyond words.. He dismissed me so easily after he took something that was meant for my husband.. I could've hurt him as easily.. I thought about slashing his tires or something like that but in the long run I didn't do anything that could get me in trouble.. I let it go. It's been two years since then and I have a new boyfriend.. His name is Chris! I love him sooo much and unlike Luke we're taking it slow because we both know what it's like to get hurt.. I've spoken to Luke once since the confrontation and that was to curse him out and vent a little bit.. Which ultimately ended in him walking away and me slapping him.. I hope Luke finds someone good so that when he does some shit like that to her and she leaves he'll know how other people feel when he mistreats them.. Chris and I are in love.. And I'm sure this time because it feels different than the love I had for Luke.. It feels natural.. I guess I felt strained in my relationship with Luke without realizing it because I had nothing to compare it to.. Just in case you were wondering.. Yes. My parents know what Luke did to me and his parents know too.. I'm not going to share what happened because that's between our families but I'll tell you Luke owes my family a lot of money.. This experience has made me stronger in more ways than one and more alert.. Before you judge me you have to remember I was naive and sixteen.. With college time nearing and my upcoming move to L.A. with Chris I can let go of all the scars that my move to California gave me because I got lots of opportunities too! If anything like this happens to you know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.. I found my light! This is for the girls.. Save your V-Card.. You only have one and make sure it counts and he really deserves it.. I made the fatal mistake to give it to someone who saw it is nothing more than a bet and hasn't even apologized.. I hope you learned something from my mistake.. Byeeee!
Tags: Crush, first, kiss, bad, relationship, teenagers, dumb, love
I have had a crush on this girl sinse the first grade, it started off as us hating each other but it was one of those cute kid cover up things. In middle school there were other girls I hooked up with, other girl friends, so I forgot about this girl for a long time. After dealing with a fair amount of drama with other girls, I started to have feeling for this girl again, this is by the time puberty has hit us both and she became more than just the girl I liked, she became beautiful, so other guys started hitting on her too. Around this time me and he started getting flirty, this lasted for a while until I asked her out, but she said no because she felt like we were too close as friends and she didn't want to loose me. So I was heart broken or whatever but I bounced back and everything was fine between us. We texted all summer and saw each other a few times, it almost felt like we were together, but we weren't. I got over her and started focusing on my studies so for a while all I did was study and party, everything was going fine, I was happy. Then my best female friend told me that she and my old crush were talking and that she found out that she kind of liked me but was going to wait for me to ask her out. So I waited, partied more, and eventually got around to asking her out, again, and she said yes. That marked the start of our month line awkward excuse of a relationship. I was her first boyfriend, and her first kiss, which she was extremely nervous for, so once we kissed I thought everything would turn around and that she would loose her shyness, the thing ruining our relationship. I didn't work, she and her friend started fighting and their fight was affecting out relationship. Spring break rolled around and I had only kissed her one day, on several occasions though, infact we made out. I was planning to hang out with her during spring break but she was out of town the whole time. The last weekend of spring break I was so exited to see her the following Monday. When I go to school I found out that her fight with her friend had gotten worse, they would even look a each other. That day I decided that I Was going to talk to her and either figure out why everything was going the way it was going or break up with her. Before I could do it I checked with my female friend and she had told me that my girlfriend had told her that she wasnt ready for a telationship and that she wanted it to end but she was to nervousness and shy to do it herself, so knowing that I ended it. I felt awful, I picked up smoking again that night and sat on my roof singing sad songs, what a movie cliche. Later people started saying that she just used me to get a first kiss and I was devastated because I thought she liked me. In a spiral of sadness I started smoking too much weed to feel happy again, which was fun while it lasted but now I'm broke. So I've been a sad, bitter, broke, lonely wreck. She seems like she moved on immediately, she's happy, and never regarded it, but I still feel empty inside because I don't know how to be happy again like I was before we got together. She said maybe she would be open to trying a relationship with me again next year but I can't hold on that long, even though I'm afraid I will and this silent sufference will last until then. Sigh... Where some weed when I need it.
Tags: breakup, mistake, regret
Where to begin? I guess I should start with when we met. It was April 9th, 2012; the day we got back from a trip for marching band. I was talking to my friend Melanie and she said, "you should try to talk to new guys. You never know, something good might come out of it." I said, "who should I talk to though and how?" That's when she suggested I talk to the guy who would eventually be the best boyfriend I've ever had: Brandon. So, when I got home, I message him on Facebook because I had nothing better to do and I thought if I went up to him in person and talked to him that it would be weird. I doubted that he even knew who I was (I was wrong about that. Turns out our friend Nick had told him that he should date me when I was a freshman. I'm now a junior and he was a sophomore at the time. We're in high school). So, we hit it off and everything seemed great. But as months passed I was wondering why he never asked me out. He told me he wanted to get to know me better first. So then the summer went by and we didn't talk much. Then in August 2012, we had band camp and we started talking again. He asked me if I wanted to sit with him on the bus on the way to competitions. I said yes. The bus rides were always fun and he was a really big flirt. Once again, I began to wonder why he wasn't asking me out, but this time I didn't bring it up. Then on November 6th, 2012, we hung out and he asked me out. The way he did it was really corny, but it was cute. I was so happy. Then, 2 weeks later he told me that he didn't want me hugging other guys, because he wanted it to be an exclusive part of our relationship. I thought this was dumb, but I just said okay because I didn't want to start anything. This were going fine and then two weeks later, he told me to switch lockers and move into his (I was previously sharing one with my best friend, Louis). I think he was just jealous or insecure. Maybe both. I was his first girlfriend, so maybe he was just scared he'd lose me or something. So, that weekend he's over my house. We've made out before but we had never used tongue and we tried it but I didn't like it. He got frustrated and said that "it's a way to kiss. How can you not like it?" I said I didn't know. Then over the next two weeks it seemed like everyday he said he was getting frustrated with me. I was getting upset and depressed because I felt like I was letting an not being a good enough girlfriend. So, eventually I decided to break up with him on December 14th, 2012, because I just wasn't happy anymore. I did it over the phone because the only other time I would have been able to do it was at school or at my house and that would have been awkward. So I was on the phone with him and I did it. I broke up with him. He didn't say anything and I started to cry. I felt really bad and him not saying anything made me feel worse. Then five minutes later he said "Can we still be friends?" I said "yes" he said "okay. Bye." And hung up. I kept crying for a good 3 hours. He called me like 2 hours later but I was asleep. He left a voicemail saying that he hopes that I don't think he's mad at me and that he wishes things could have worked out but he's glad we can still be friends. I was happy about that. But as the weeks passed it seemed like he wanted the opposite. Now, he rarely talks to me and I feel like when he does, I annoy him. I miss him so much and it's ridiculous. I want him back, but I know he'll never want me again. I at least want to be friends again. I asked him to my junior prom, so maybe that will help, but we'll have to wait and see. Is there anything else I can do? I think I might be in love with Brandon and knowing that I screwed things up just hurts so much. I want to fix it. Breaking up with him was probably the biggest mistake in my life and I regret it so much.
Okay soooo......it was like July, last summer and i went to my aunt's for two weeks. When i was there i met this good looking guy and we started talking after i saw him at a bball game. He asked for my number and you already know i wasn't missing that opportunity!After i left we started talkin ALOT(from 9 in the morning till like maybe 2 or 3 a.m. the next day). Well in the beginning of September (on my bday) he FINALLY asked me out.
To me, he was the sweetest kid ever with smarts and a bball career on his hands (he was invited to a NIKE camp only for the top..100 players in the state i think?)Then school started up again and he was tellin me how all these different girls were tryin to flirt with him (remember this was a long distance relationship) and stuff. And my dumb self believein him smh.
Well a few months down the road that fool starts talkin about this friend of his, whos a girl, of course i think nothin of it. Then he broke up with me the weekend after Thanksgiving, for her..and im like WOW! did i really not see these signs that were RIGHT under my nose.
He'd talk about that girl all the time..but thats not the worst part. HE EXPECTED US TO STILL BE FRIENDS....come on now you've gotta be kidding! Plus the whole time i was with him he was lyin. He told me he was in honor classes..his report card said ffffff so obviously not! And he also was talkin about how he was 'sooo kool' and crap...doubt it considering he had like 50 followers on twitter...I just think u shouldnt have to lie about yourself to boost your ego...u definitely turn out looking even more stupid wen everyone finds out the truth.
Tags: love sucks
We started going out September of 2009. We were happy and in love. I honestly thought he was the one, we made love, we planned a wedding, we planned our lives. Then on April 2010 I fin d out he's been cheating on me. He says it only happened once but God who knows how many fucking times he cheated!! I was heartbroken. He left me for another. Fast forward to May 2010, my dumbass hangs out with him & what does he do? He kisses me and I tell him it isnt right since he has a girfriend. He didn't care and idk why i let him kiss me. He ignored me for the following months until September 2010 when he found out I had a new boyfriend. I guess it's true when they say that they want you back when they see you with someone new. He asks me if we can be together but that no one has to know. as much as i still had feelings for him, i didn't fall for that. Then the next month he finds out I broke up with the guy I was with and he goes to look for me he kisses me and I ask him "wait don't you have your Girlfriend still?" and he's like, "I don't want to talk about her, lets talk about us" and truth is I was really happy to see him again, he kisses me and I kiss him back but it doesn't feel right because in his girlfriend stays in the back of my mind. And as fucked up as she was to ruin my relationship and get in between it in the first place, I didn't want to be like her. but then he told me he was gonna leave her for me. Lies. Days pass by and not one single word from him. Then the following month his girlfriend sends me a message on facebook asing me all these questions about him. I end up telling her the truth that her guy has been after me since forever now. He denies it in her face but later he says that its true. Its a long long story. A story that should have been over with in 2010. But guess what? It is now 2012 and that asshole is still on my mind. And that chick still talks to me and pretends to be my friend but behind my back she talks shit. I don't know why! She is always Subtweeting me and all that and she always mentions him. She starts saying things like "oh im glad im talking with him again!" I have a feeling they'll get back together after all the shit that happened. I don't give a fuck though. Wait, yeah I do :/ I know I shouldn't but I still have those feelings. It's going to be two years now since I last saw him though so I don't understand why I still think about him, dream about him and cry sometimes for him. He really messed me up. I haven't been in a relationship in such a long time because of trust issues.He left me heartbroken and I don't think I can handle another one of those relationships. I honestly just want him out of my mind. I want him out of my heart but I don't know how. Maybe it does take time. Maybe I'll get over it little by little. I just hate the fact that I gave it up to a douche like him. I know I don't need him but sometimes I just want to tell him that I do. I don't know. Love is complicated.
Well for starters, this happened a couple of months back and I'm completely over it.
My boyfriend at the time and I had dated for two years, straight out of high-school. We always got into constant arguments which up until today I should have realized that I should have let go from the beginning. He would always argue about how much I used to call him or text him but mind you we would barely see each other. He was in a different school and so was I. We had met through mutual friends. At the time I used to see it as absence makes the heart grow fonder...boy was I wrong. By the time we were both starting our first semester in college I realized that he was spending a lot of time with these two girls but I didn't put mind since I was actually paranoid that I was pregnant. Well turns out I was and had a miscarriage, I didn't find out until after so it didn't really affect me but when I was paranoid he didn't even bother to go with me to get checked out. Well I started noticing that some girl on Facebook was always commenting on his photos and on his wall and usually that doesn't bother me and I approached him about it and he stated "I would never mess around with her, she's pretty fat. I hate fat chicks" HA! yeah that was the girl he dumped me for on our anniversary.
The girl would then try calling and texting me threatening me AFTER she she found out that he cheated on her three times with me. It was bad in my part but hey...I was still in love I guess. I have no regrets, and now I just laugh it off at how young and naive I was. And basically for girls to read this and see that after a break up you can be strong never cry for a long time over a guy that isn't worth it.
Tags: Long distance1, internet, dating, sad, breakup
Bitter sweet Internet love life
This is a true story about my own love life and how it started.. and sadly ended
-----------FlashBack-----------
I looked to my right and then to my left, I saw a guy with a cat head on? He seemed pretty interesting, but being the random person I was I walked up to him and said "Hai how's life?", "It's awesome right now" I giggled, "So what's your name?" the crowd around him answered "--------" I didn't even notice they were there and made me jump out of my skin!
------End of Flashback------
The day we first met was a memory turning hazy, but I never knew he would become my best friend. At the time I first met him I was a 1st year in middle school and was pretty dumb, but I didn't care as long as I was having fun at school, I was the type of person who could make anyone smile! I didn't take anything seriously at the time as in friendships, and relationships, I was all about living for the moment and always acting silly, but that would eventually change. Jerome was a well known person, I'm pretty sure he had more friends then I would ever have in my school years, but he was funny and also serious, he always put his friends as his number one priority and that's what I liked about him! I started talking to "------" everyday, and I would always learn something new about him, my friendly feelings eventually turned into love. One day my friend Christopher and I had started talking about the most random topics and I saw "-----" walk over to me and sit close to like he always did , I told Chris, "HEY CHRISTOPHER, are you going to pay for our wedding!" I realized what I had just said and started to blush, "but I have to pay for mine first!" he whined , ever since that day "------" and I became girlfriend and boyfriend, we exchanged numbers and the first thing he said was, "YES, I can prank call you now!" "Oh shush and text me cause I have to go, BAI "------" I LOVE YOUH!<3" "Love you too!<3" After that he imminently texted me, he made me feel special inside like I was the only girl he could have, I guess he had me falling head over heels for them, but things change... The day of my birth was coming up and I was so excited on what he would get me!! It could be anything I ever dreamed of. It finally came and what I got was a diamond ring as in an engagement ring!! He purposed to me after just one month and I felt so happy!! But after that my life would change forever... It was Friday may 20th that I received a text saying he had asked a girl out and she said yes. I wasn't happy about it, but I tried to act happy, but failed miserably. Inside I felt real jealous even though this relationship was just over the Internet I couldn't help but feel a little ache in my heart. As the weeks had gone by we started texting less as he distanced himself from me, but then his friend had died one day and that made the distance seem even longer, as he was always busy helping out others, even though I was a priority I felt like an option which hurt me the most... as a result I... cheated on him, I cheated on him because I wanted him to feel what I felt when he told me he had a girlfriend, that was The lowest point I had ever gone to in a relationship, and I felt empty inside. I told "------" all about "Joey" (a.k.a moo moo) at first he seemed completely fine with it but as I told him more, we had arguments that were pointless, he eventually found out that moo moo wasn't in real life but was on the Internet, I made a fatal mistake of hanging out with "Joey" that day as he gave me a '<3' sign right in front of "------" After that day "------" no longer talked to me, he ignored me, and all their was left was for "Joey" to fill the void I had in my heart. After a successful relationship "Joey" finally ended it, saying we were going to fast... I no longer had anyone to cover up the sadness that they left me, and started to cry everyday waiting for them to come back to me. I became obsessed and eventually had thoughts of suicide, but I never did have the courage to cut into my arm. In my mind I knew no one would want me anymore from the terrible thing I've done to "------", and decided to never love again. All I ever wanted was Jerome's attention and acceptance, I had eventually got it but lost it so easily.
"Yes, this whole relationship thing was over the Internet, but it didn't matter to me because I felt so close to him that even distance couldn't tear me apart from him, I know it was naive of me to think it would last even though I cheated on him, I still hoped the relationship would still make it through"
Tags: Best Friend, Messy, Life Goes on,
So I've been through a lot this past year and I feel like I am falling into the same pattern. It all started when I came out of the closet in February of 2008, my best friend didn't really know how to handle it. I could tell that he really wasn't okay with it, what I didn't know was that it was because he was actually gay too. So a few months after I came out out he eventually told me he was fine with it, and it was one of the happiest moments of my life. As time passed I noticed a change in him and then in July of 2009 he came out to me, and my reaction was well a little surprised. I never would have thought he was ever gay, he tried so hard to conceal that he was gay, he even dated and slept with girls, so it took some real evidence to prove that he wasn't messing with me. So he told me about the guy he had been seeing and it was all fine and dandy. Since I had met my best friend I always found him attractive, but now he was actually available. Summer turned to fall and soon enough he told me that he wasn't gay anymore, that 'it was a lifestyle choice he didn't wish to pursue.' I didn't believe him then and I don't believe him now mostly because I've seen him on a gay dating site recently. But never the less I still really liked him. He showed me this dating site that he used to meet guys and he signed me up, even though 'he wasn't gay anymore' he always insisted that I go out and meet guys, he was rather adamant which I found a bit odd, considering he was never interested in my love life before. Things began to get messy when he started to act out and act well a little recklessly, mostly because we and all of our friends were turning 19 and could start drinking, so he'd drive drunk, and he would do just do the dumbest things. This behavior went on for a year which brings us to 2011. 2011 was a very hard year for me. One day in the middle of July and I don't know the exact date, but he came over with some stuff I left at his house and he handed the items to me. I asked what was wrong and if he wanted to get a coffee, and he said 'Why would we do that?' and I said 'Because we're friends' and he replied 'Are we?' After that he turned away and I never saw him again. A month later I found out it was because I had feelings for him and that he had told all of our friends that I was a liar and horrible friend, that I was somehow delusional and that I had gone around spreading lies that he was gay when I told maybe 2 people who didn't say a word. So in the end he turned out to just be a coward who was trying to save his own ass who didn't care who he hurt in the process. Its been 7 months and I still haven't spoken or seen him, in the end I realized he would never have the courage to tell people how he really felt about anything or that he would never have the courage to tell anyone that he was a homosexual, and sometimes I feel like I may have hindered that. But its not always going to be my fault the blame will fall on him and all the lies and all the pettiness will catch up to him and everyone will see him for what he is. I won't vilify him and he shouldn't vilify me, we were both in our own ways wrong. I don't miss him anymore, I don't even want to be friends with him, mostly because of this one simple fact, I was his best friend and he always told me we would be friends no matter what, and I think to myself;I was hi best friend and look what he did to me? Why would I want to be friends with such a selfish person? Who put his own need to hide a silly secret above my feelings, I guess I wasn't as important to him as he liked to say, because if I was he would have at least talked to me and tried to work it out. I won't ever go back because I know if I did everything would be like it was before, he wouldn't respect me and it would be a misrealble disaster.
I'm moving on and more and more I am forgeting him, it started in September when I realized I couldn't remember the sound of his voice or his laugh, then things about him started to slip, and now I am starting to forget what he looked like, I feel like one day I'll need to grab a picture to remember him.
Tags: broke relationship, miss, him
It all started at the end of 9th grade, when I was 15 years old, he was in my french class but i never noticed him much, until he added me on facebook and there it all began! We talked for hours and hours 2 hours went to 5-6 hours, but I never dared talking to him in person, because I was to shy. After we graduated from ninth grade, we still kept in touch and we had our first date in July that summer and, already that night he asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend but I said I didn't wanted that yet, and later on after 2 weeks at our second date,i was childish and when he told me his hands were cold and i told him " I know what you're up to" and i held his hand and i told him so are we together now, and since 23-11-10 , we became a couple. We kept it a secret and everything was perfect! Then after 3 months I admitted that I wasn't that in to him from the beginning, I've realized today, that i should never do something before i give it a further thought. And he broke up with me and I tried to convince him to get back together, but he said he didn't trusted me, but we got back together. And then 3 months further he broke up again because he felt I treated him badly, like a bitch and stuff but then again I convinced to get back together and we did. I never realized my mistakes,before its to late! Then since then its been an down hill roller coaster. I did the most dumbest thing ever on our 1st year anniversary, i broke up with him, because he avoided me for a whole week and we fought. It was another mistake. A day later we talked and we got back together again, then 2 months later we fought, and his best friend told me to call my boyfriend and talk about it, but it ended badly and we broke up over the phone, and then we got back again and 2 months ahead, which is by today, we had an argument a week ago and he told me our sex is bad and he was sick of the relationship and we broke up and got back together at the same time, and now its been 5 days since he broke up with me again because I've been grumpy, and bitchy whenever he mentions something i dislike. We didn't talked for 2 days and then he texted me and we argued even more and few hours later he texted back he missed me and i missed him to ofc! And we had a stable conversation and decided to be single and figure things out, but the next day i already asked him if he had decided,what we should do and he told me ladies first, and I've been thinking of it, and I told me it would be better being single, since I've hurt him many times and I was scared and his respond, was just lot of mean,harsh,hurtful words and he said i should give him back all his presents, and that would be a sign its over. But I never handed them over, I still wear the necklace he gave me.
It has been 5 days now, and im going crazy, we have so much in-common and have this good communication with each other, we could text and talk for 12 hours or the whole day exactly, without getting sick of each other.
He has been special to me, since the first time I meet him, I wanted to get to know him, since the day we became a couple, I've changed, i know I'm only 17 now but i love him so much, he was really good to me, he was there whenever i needed him and just stood out with whatever emotion i had, and spoiled me even though i never asked him for much, and he was a gentlemen, except when we argued, he would turn into a huge jerk. Despite all that we've been through, i didn't understood him well before, after all we've been trough over a year now and 4 months, we've handled many things together, and i've supported him with everything we did, even woke up at 5 am and surprised him at the train station just coz i missed him so much <3. Its hard breaking up, i miss him and ive been crying ever since, and i cant even eat properly or even concentrate on things, he is always on my mind. It feels like I've lost him forever, but I still want to hear from him in a few days.
Tags: Soasy
We had been going together for more than a year, then he suddenly wasn't available & started cooling off, but wouldn't say why or discuss the relationship. Then he invited me to a party - I was thrilled; I figured it meant we were still a couple.
Turns out he'd found someone else, and I guess the party was his spineless way of breaking up. She was clearly there with him, hanging all over him while they danced, and major kissing when they weren't. I stayed long enough to get the picture, then left, devastated and embarrased, since I knew so many people there & they'd seen the whole thing. Is he a jerk? Of course!
But here's the dumb part - for the longest time, I'd still have taken him back! It takes ages to get over a relationship, especially when the break-up wasn't on your own timeline. Long after I'd moved on, the slime ball had the nerve to call me up to get back together. I listened to his schpiel, not saying much, then said, "Well - gotta run - I'm in another relationship. Great to hear from you!"
I know it doesn't feel like it in the immediate aftermath, but eventually, you do get over things, you move on, and amazingly, you're even able to give thanks that God protected you from being Mrs. Creep (or Mr. Slut, or whatever).
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