Serena

February 27, 2012 @ (Texas, California)

Tags: Long distance1, internet, dating, sad, breakup


Bitter sweet Internet love life

This is a true story about my own love life and how it started.. and sadly ended

-----------FlashBack-----------
I looked to my right and then to my left, I saw a guy with a cat head on? He seemed pretty interesting, but being the random person I was I walked up to him and said "Hai how's life?", "It's awesome right now" I giggled, "So what's your name?" the crowd around him answered "--------" I didn't even notice they were there and made me jump out of my skin! 
------End of Flashback------
The day we first met was a memory turning hazy, but I never knew he would become my best friend. At the time I first met him I was a 1st year in middle school and was pretty dumb, but I didn't care as long as I was having fun at school, I was the type of person who could make anyone smile! I didn't take anything seriously at the time as in friendships, and relationships, I was all about living for the moment and always acting silly, but that would eventually change. Jerome was a well known person, I'm pretty sure he had more friends then I would ever have in my school years, but he was funny and also serious, he always put his friends as his number one priority and that's what I liked about him! I started talking to "------" everyday, and I would always learn something new about him, my friendly feelings eventually turned into love. One day my friend Christopher and I had started talking about the most random topics and I saw "-----" walk over to me and sit close to like he always did , I told Chris, "HEY CHRISTOPHER, are you going to pay for our wedding!" I realized what I had just said and started to blush, "but I have to pay for mine first!" he whined , ever since that day "------" and I became girlfriend and boyfriend, we exchanged numbers and the first thing he said was, "YES, I can prank call you now!" "Oh shush and text me cause I have to go, BAI "------" I LOVE YOUH!<3" "Love you too!<3" After that he imminently texted me, he made me feel special inside like I was the only girl he could have, I guess he had me falling head over heels for them, but things change... The day of my birth was coming up and I was so excited on what he would get me!! It could be anything I ever dreamed of. It finally came and what I got was a diamond ring as in an engagement ring!! He purposed to me after just one month and I felt so happy!! But after that my life would change forever... It was Friday may 20th that I received a text saying he had asked a girl out and she said yes. I wasn't happy about it, but I tried to act happy, but failed miserably. Inside I felt real jealous even though this relationship was just over the Internet I couldn't help but feel a little ache in my heart. As the weeks had gone by we started texting less as he distanced himself from me, but then his friend had died one day and that made the distance seem even longer, as he was always busy helping out others, even though I was a priority I felt like an option which hurt me the most... as a result I... cheated on him, I cheated on him because I wanted him to feel what I felt when he told me he had a girlfriend, that was The lowest point I  had ever gone to in a relationship, and I felt empty inside. I told "------" all about "Joey" (a.k.a moo moo) at first he seemed completely fine with it but as I told him more, we had arguments that were pointless, he eventually  found out that moo moo wasn't in real life but was on the Internet, I made a fatal mistake of hanging out with "Joey" that day as he gave me a '<3' sign right in front of "------" After that day "------" no longer talked to me, he ignored me, and all their was left was for "Joey" to fill the void I had in my heart. After a successful relationship "Joey" finally ended it, saying we were going to fast... I no longer had anyone to cover up the sadness that they left me, and started to cry everyday waiting for them to come back to me. I became obsessed and eventually had thoughts of suicide, but I never did have the courage to cut into my arm. In my mind I knew no one would want me anymore from the terrible thing I've done to "------", and decided to never love again. All I ever wanted was Jerome's attention and acceptance, I had eventually got it but lost it so easily. 

"Yes, this whole relationship thing was over the Internet, but it didn't matter to me because I felt so close to him that even distance couldn't tear me apart from him, I know it was naive of me to think it would last even though I cheated on him, I still hoped the relationship would still make it through"


       


 

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