Searching for "doesn"

188 Results For 'doesn'

AC

October 25, 2011 @ (US)

Tags: indecisive, indecision, flip flop, back and forth

It is apparently over. It feels that way. I have not been able to say the words to her though I think my heart feels it is.

It isn't that I don't love her, its that I am so unsure of what I want for my life that my instincts (or my goddamn brain) won't let me find clarity. Maybe that means I don't love her...I dunno. Or maybe I don't need clarity and I'm just ignoring my instincts which say that this relationship can not work considering the re-evaluation I am undertaking.

I haven't been able to wholeheartedly agree on the direction she would like life to go in...it mostly the children issue. But its not because I'm so against it or worried she isn't good enough to build a life with. I just haven't found a way to say yes or no, to reconcile what I want with what she does so maybe the indecisiveness is my answer.

Even if it means that I change my mind a year from now, I think the answer is "no I can't be what you need and deserve right now." If that's the case and she has a clearer plan for her life, I should let her go so she can find it with someone else. It may be the worst decision of my life and I may regret it but I just can't see a way to put love, attention and energy into this relationship AND try to figure my own shit out.

Part of me feels plain dumb for not having figured myself out at 33, but part of me also doubts that every married with kids person really gave it all as much thought and followed their instincts either. It feels so odd to not inherently agree with the way society goes about relationships, marriage, kids and just maturing in general. Everyone feels like they are on auto-pilot with their life choices. Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better about my indecision.

I think in many ways my spirit is flawed, broken...but not irreparable. I will take the time to ask my heart what it really wants and I will keep asking until it responds....because it will. It wants me to be happy and maybe it doesn't even yet know what it wants but when it does, I will fight for it with all I can. I only have one known chance at living. I've got to try and live as best I can. I hate that I don't know that she could represent living life the best way I can, but if we are done and it was a mistake, it just feels like a mistake I have to make, otherwise I am doomed to create the same indecision and same mistakes time and time again.

Joesilvpb

October 07, 2011 @ (Suburbs)

Tags: Cheating, Heartbroken

I have been with her for 3 years, last year and a half has been rocky, shes lied more than once and kept thigns from me, even asked my bestf friends gf to lie to me, but all in all she was mine, and a near perfect girl. One night after my best friend told me shes been lying to me and smoking weed then telling friends to not tell me. I realized the girl i had trusted with everything lies to me, and we had a fight that night, I ended up cheating on her that night at a part... a month later we r together and after awhile she says she doesnt want this anymore, what i did hurts her to much and she wants to live a single life. I was completely heartbroken. The next morning she sends a txt saying im sorry I made a mistake I listen to my friends to much plz take me back. So i do only to be broken up with the neixt day. She comes to me and says we had a great day but Im not in love with you anymore. My world is upside down guys... Shes playing with my heart at same time i deserve it.. This girl is my best friend and i was trying to give her the world. I would do anything to take that night back... anything, I must be putting her through so much, im an asshole a scumbag, that night i was.. w/e.....I lost her, My reality is that shes mine, when I look at her i cant c that she isnt... and yet she is not mine to hold, =(

Leanne

August 22, 2011 @ (Ohio)

Tags: sex, young, love

I met him in the beginning of summer. Everything was perfect. We were in love, or i thought we were. It only took a week for us to start dating. I'm 15, he is 18. He was like my bestfriend. We were so comfortable around each other. I could tell him anything and not feel judged. It was the best relationship I have ever had. We started talking about sex, He told me he loved me, so I thought that it would be okay. We started havin sex. Everything seemed fine, then one day we did it in his car, and later that evening he told me he doesn't love me, and he thought he never did. I don't unnderstand how someone can do something like that. We spent almost everyday together. He wants everything to be the same, he still wants to hangout... as friends. Thats so selfish. How could I ever let myself get into something so messed up like this. I feel like such a fool. I'm scared to open up to anyone now.

KMF

July 01, 2011 @ (ab)

Tags: it sucks

We've been on and off for 9 months. So not overly long time but there was so much feeling there that kept us to keep coming back. But the other night, the way it ended. I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was wrong, something was telling me to go to his house. He wasn't replying or talking to me all day. I show up at his house to find him sitting in his ex's car with her. I get out, well I had 2 kids I was watching in the vehicle so I tried to keep my cool but I asked him what the hell he was doing and all he said was he was busy talking so I took off. About a half hour later I get this voice mail that said ' I asked her to come talk to me, I kinda needed her too. I think there's still a chance here and I'm going to talk to her about it so I guess I'll talk to you later' and that was the end of it. Later came and he phoned me and told me that we were never actually dating because it wasnt fb offical. After already a month into it. I didn't think FB was such a huge deal or mattered. That night came he made me wait all night thinking he was going to come talk to me but he never did. The next night he phones me and tells me that this will be the last conversation that we ever have and that he doesn't want to talk to me or have me text him again. He said we were never together and that he wants to be with his ex. Now I'm left broken hearted crying in a hotel room because I had a family wedding to go to that he was suppose to be attending with me.

Jeanice

May 13, 2011 @ (San Diego)

Tags: 1

This is the second day of a breakup cleanse that I am doing. Yesterday I did not feel as sad as I am feeling today. I feel silly because this guy and I had only gone out for three months and it seems silly to feel so sad. I am 43 and Honestly this is the First time I fell in love. I just felt deeply connected with him and the moment we sat and talked I knew I loved him. It was the strangest feeling I had ever had. It was something deep down within. Also the more I was with him the more I felt as if I was falling in love. Since it was the first time maybe it wasn't supposed to work out I don't know. I know that from our first date he did as I said in my previous post(yesterday) he spoke a lot about his ex. OMINOUS Warning I failed to heed FOR SURE. I know for the future I will run so fast if I see the guy is unavailable. Yet I see with all of the intimacy problems I had had, hence being 43 and NEVER having been in love, there were DEFINITE issues. I see that in many ways he was safe for me to fall in love with. He was amazing with me, and I really do feel that he did care deeply for me. I also got to find out that the feeling of falling in love happened within ME !!! Which is so great because I know it is not all HIM so if he leaves the scene I can still have that LOVE feeling within me. YIPPPPPEEEEEEE for that. I also know that because I love him as much as I feel I do he can be a great friend. I must admit I am still having hopes that it can work out. I will let him go as the saying goes (I am paraphrasing) If you love something set it free if it comes back to you it was yours if it doesn't it never was AAAAHHHHHHH I have tried in the past to hold so tightly to things and it always has caused so much pain. I just want to fall in love and get married, to have a lifelong partner. SO there I am !!!!

Golden614

May 06, 2011 @ (AZ)

Tags: love1

We had been together for three years. Three happy years. We laughed all the time, went places together, shared dreams and thoughts. Had awesome debates. We didn't always see eye to eye, obviously, but when we argued it was productive. There was compromise on both parts and I FELT so loved and so lucky. I looked at other people's relationships and couldn't understand all the drama and strife. We worked through our problems and were steadily making progress and both happily moving forward in our relationship. So much laughter and joy, any issue was rare because we got along so well. And then about a week before it happened, maybe two, I noticed he was very distant. I chalked it up to work stress and so many other things. I didn't push, thinking he would talk about it when he was ready. I know how I feel when I get the blues, I don't want everyone pushing me and asking me what's wrong, ad nauseum. He called me one day while he knew I was at work and gave me the dreaded line, "We need to talk." He said he didn't love me. He wasn't looking for "the one." We weren't compatible, etc etc etc. This from the man who only a week before had purchased a trip over seas with me and was talking about our future and telling me how special I was, I mean I literally had the wind knocked out of me. Now he says he wants to be friends. I love him but I'm not stupid. I don't want to be with someone who could flip on me so quickly, who would lead me on for three years, someone who apparently doesn't love me. But, my heart just can't seem to catch up with my brain. I see that he had an attack of commitment-phobia. But, how can it be true that he would stay with me for so long, that we could both be SO happy and he doesn't love me? I am having trouble moving on because I just can't wrap my head around it. And this whole, "We can still be friends," mess. Yeah, right. That has to some selfish ploy to alleviate his guilt feelings. And he tells me things like, "People break up all the time." "People change." It seems like the only thing that changed was how he acted toward me. And people do break up all the time, but so suddenly? So arbitrarily? He said he has never been with anyone as long as he has been with me and that no one was so immersed in his life, that he had never been so close with anyone else. Ever. He still wants me to be a part of his life. But he doesn't love me? He has loved other girlfriends, but not me? I'm lost. I just don't get it.

DJ

April 13, 2011 @ (U.S.)

Tags: broken up heart

So here's my story:

I'm 17, just your average guy, I play a lot of sports, have a job... my girlfriend of almost a year dumped me 2 months ago. I met her over 3 years ago at a youth group. We were close friends for 2 years before we started dating. Last February we started hanging out a lot. By the time Summer started we were head over heals in love with each other. I guess I was kind of the "bad boy" we snuck out all Summer long and I disrespected her grandfather whom she was living with at the time. In August he kicked her out of his house and she was forced to move in with her alcoholic/abusive mother who is the only other person she had to live with. She doesn't have any other family and her entire family has a whole lot of problems. She also has a past of a lot of abuse in her history as I found out eventually. As for me, I also do not have any family or relatives. I live alone with my single mother and my younger siblings. My family has just as many problems as hers does. My mother is really the only person I have, however, we are not that close. My ex-girlfriend goes to a different high school then me and as we went through the school year her life became very challenging at home. We stayed together though. I was there for her through it all time-and-time again. I even got my ma to let her live with us for a while to be away from her life at home. In my heart she became the love of my life. We had so much in common in our pasts. The same goals for our futures. We could understand each others pain like no one ever could. I loved her with all my heart for near 10 months

Anyways we started fighting because of her own problems at home. This went on all the way through December and January. I tried to be supportive of her problems, but she started pushing me away, more so every couple weeks. In February, after I hadn't seen her in 3 whole weeks (which she filled with excuses, and insincere reasons why she couldn't see me) she called me and broke up with me on the phone. I asked if I could at least see her one more time. She refused. I asked her why it had come to this and her reasons were things such as she wanted to be independent, she did't wanna be in a relationship anymore, she didn't feel like we should take relationships so seriously at this time in our life, blah blah blah. So after hours of tears on my part I let her go. If this is what she wanted, then I wanted her to just be happy. Anyways, I had been the only one really holding the relationship together for 3 months and I couldn't take it anymore. I never texted her or called her once after we broke up on the stupid phone that night.

Two weeks later after a lot of pain and hurt, I was at a party with some buddies. I asked a mutual friend who I saw there how she was doing to find out that she had been cheating on me with some fuckin douche bag who's six foot-seven, plays basketball, drives a 2010 mustang, is rich, and apparently is a big player at her school. This hurt so much that I ended up getting in a fight with another guy at the party. I couldn't sleep for days, and still have a lot of trouble sleeping. I wanted really bad to go find this guy she'd been cheating on me with. Luckily I didn't. Now I'm sitting here a month later still heartbroken. She has made me hate my life, and according to people she's having a great time with this other guy. I've gone out with 2 girls since we broke and neither one of them has meant anything to me. As of right now I hate my life, I hate her, and I wish she was NEVER ever a part of my life.

That's basically my story. Enough said.

Jerry

April 11, 2011 @ (Minnesota)

Tags: No-O

My ex told me our relationship has become "platonic" We had been together for about 4 months. I was an ideal boyfriend in nearly every way, I'm funny, I'm decent looking, I'm a great cook, and I cooked several fine meals for her. I took her out to fancy restaurants, movies, and plays. I bought her flowers several times to surprise her, and even delivered them to her at work so her coworkers could all be jealous of her. There was one problem, I was bad in bed.

I was a virgin when we started dating. She knew this, because we had been friends for a while, so she knew not to expect much from me in the bedroom, at least at first. In spite of that I knew how to give her pleasure in other ways, and never failed to get her off.

When we finally had sex, I didn't have the problem that most guys have the first time. Instead of not lasting long enough, I didn't have an orgasm at all. I was hard, I just didn't finish. We had sex on three different dates, each time the same thing. I was getting better at it each time, less awkward, more satisfying for her, but each time I didn't blow, probably because she was obsessed with making me come, and it made me nervous.

The last time we had sex, I got her off three times, I stayed hard for so long, we just kept going until the early hours of the morning, until she literally passed out from exhaustion. But, because I didn't have an orgasm, she began to doubt herself and think that I didn't find her attractive.

I told her every day how beautiful she was, but still she somehow reached the conclusion that the fact that I hadn't gone from virgin to Peter North in 3 lays somehow meant she was to blame.

We were going to try one more time, but the day before that date I found out my mom was dying. We tried anyway, but I was to distressed and couldn't even get it up.

So now, my mom is on her deathbed, my bills are piling up because I have missed work, I am behind in my classes because I have been missing school, and my ex dumped me, not because I can't please her in bed, but because she doesn't think I get enough pleasure in bed.

I think she should have given me more time. I mean, 3 times isn't really much of a chance to prove yourself, especially if you start as a virgin.

Funny thing is, I'm not mad at her, I feel sorry for her, I was probably the best boyfriend she will ever have.

Crushed

March 23, 2011 @ (Georgia)

Tags: ruthless

I was with my guy for over 6 years and i was 7 months pregnant, well a month before i found out i was pregnant he changed, he was always angry and he acted like he despised my touch. well i sorta knew what it was but i was going through the hormones of pregnancy and i just ignored it. well i was bored so i drove to his job to surprise him when he got off so we could maybe go get something to eat, well for all tn he women out there who have experienced this you know what im about to describe, a woman came out and was standing next to a truck she worked there and i got that gut feeling that there was something wrong so i couldnt stop staring at her. then he comes out and the first thing he says is, why are you here, and then walks away to go talk to that b****. i stood there in disbelief so i began to cry and i stormed off, well he turns out was in the beginning stages of a relationship with her and they only went as far as kissing. but fast forward to when i was 7 months pregnant. he was still acting crazy even though we had moved way across the country so i guess he was upset i caught him i dont know but he was still being a jerk. so i ask him when will get married since we already started a family and we been together for so long, well that bastard tells me that he doesnt want to marry me anymore cause he doesnt think im the "one" anymore so he doesnt want to risk marrying me if its just a big mistake. his words exactly. well being pregnant, that far along as well, you can imagine the devastation i felt. well since he was gonna just abandon me and our unborn child i dug through his emails the next day and he told that trick that he was gonna leave and go back home. well being pregnant and knowing that the father is gonna just abandon you and your child will crush anybody's heart.

Kiana Boxdale

March 21, 2011 @ (Ohio)

Tags: breakup

So we had Carrer Day at my school , I wasnt all too excited except for the fact that i got out of class for a whole day . We had Seniors who were our leaders and they helped show us all of the programs in our school . One kid stuck out to me, he was gorgeous , i have never seen him before in all my two years in the highschool . He showed me around , along with the other hundred kids, what are the odds he ends up talking to me ? Slim but possible, because we ended up talking to each other. It was slow at first, just texting , then hanging out . He was shy, i was shocked, a sexy senior who's shy ? Well , things picked up and we started spending almost everyday together. We would sleep together, no not sex, just falling asleep together and i never felt so right in his arms all through the night. It got serious, we told each other we wouldnt know what to do without each other..then he changed. Turns out he wasn't so shy, he starting turning into a jerk and ditching me, we went from texting all day non-stop to not texting at all. I was crushed, but i held on because losing him would be like taking my heart out and throwing it into an ocean . I held on , my grip slipped, and now he's gone. He didn't tell me why, just walked out . I thought atleast i deserve a reason, but i guess i don't. Turns out he's talking to someone else, doesn't text me back anymore and i'm heart broken. I loved him, when he was mean i would just kiss him, when he would make mistakes i would forgive, i was always there for him . When i do everythign for him thought ; he does nothing for me but leave me behind like a bad habbit .. Being left behind , is the worst pain ever immaginable .