Tags: sad, valentines day, asshole
It's quite funny actually, as I have already posted on this site before with a brief submission on Jan 28, 2014. My first post was about my first boyfriend. We ended up getting back together on and off for about another 8 months before things finally ended for good (thank god!)
Looking back, I don't know why I was so sad. I just think it was because we had dated for 2 years, and he knew me inside out. But I wasn't serious about him, I know I could never end up with someone like him. After the breakup, I didn't expect to get into a relationship for a long time, maybe years. But only a few short months later my dream guy came along, someone I never thought would notice me.
He was amazing; 6'4", incredibly handsome, polite, smart, sweet, funny. I was in shock. I don't know if I ever had anyone on such a high pedestal before. And he wanted me back. Life, at that time, seemed like a dream come true, and I think that's where I ruined myself. I made HIM my dream. But I loved him so much and I was still in awe of everything he did. And all was well until moving away to a different city so I could go to university after only 4 months of dating.
Things changed. He changed. His true colors came out while living together. A once caring, dreamy person became cold, distant and indifferent. I had gained 15 pounds in the 6 months after university, and it apparently caused a huge problem for him (as he told me- "I would treat you better if you were thinner"). He would only return some of my texts, and got annoyed of me easily. The first 5 months living together were difficult, feeling like I was always reaching for him and he was just pulling away. I cried all the time. Looking back, after moving in that's mostly what I did with my time.
We've been broken up for a month now, but still living together because we signed into a lease. I've been trying to keep it civil but he seems to like hurting me constantly. A day doesn't go by without some sort of remark like "I enjoy this place when you're not here" or "you're not going to lose weight just watching a show about vegetables". After we agreed to try and be friends. Obviously it's hardest for me as I still care a great deal and he doesn't care at all, but yet I still try. I wake up everyday knowing that there's just going to be another heartbreaking moment. And every so often I think back to how it was in the beginning, everything was so perfect. I didn't want it to end up like this. What helps me to keep moving forward is to look at his attitude, he's treating me like dirt. And for what? All I did in our relationship was want to grow our love into something huge, but he couldn't see my value. I ask him what went wrong, he comes up with minuscule excuses such as "you never made me a friendship bracelet when you said you would" or "you turned on the light when I was sleeping". It's all a sad excuse to hide behind the real truth that he's shallow, and that once he saw me for my real self, without the nice body and makeup and clothes, he decided I wasn't good enough anymore. And i'm so glad that i'm stronger than I was 2 years ago, because no i'm not as sad as I was then, I've grown. I still cry sometimes, but I have to remember that I have the good heart, and important attributes to make love last, and him not being able to see that is HIS problem.
Tags: Bad Break up, Dominican Moms, Black Girl Problems, Caribbean roots, NYC, Harlem,
I met him while browsing through people I may know on FB. I was 20 he was 19. His name was P. Sounds weird but we began dating before we even met in person 5 months later.
It was love at first sight literally...I've heard this saying and felt it was so corny and not possible BUT i'm a believer.
We both were struggling with our personal lives at the time of meeting so we filled those gaps which made us love even harder. Eventually, things started to decline. When it came to being emotionally supportive for me, and financial cracks he would always disappear. Perhaps after putting in 3 years I thought things would get better but they didn't. It didn't help that his mom was an older Dominican women. She hated that I was black, she hated everything about me. Over time things took its tole.
I recently decided to break things off finally a few days ago and throw in the towel. Not because I wanted to but because I felt I had to. I was physically attacked by his mom and assaulted while he stood near by and did nothing. With a huge open cut on my face, blood and all strangers bypassing were more concerned than he seemed.
The police got involved and he wasn't by my side and it was here when I realized. The person I met 3-4 years ago was not the person I'm with now.
I'll be the first to admit upbringing, infidelity, and insecurities drove this relationship to the ground. It's only been 3 days of feeling alone and empty out of the 3 and half year I was with him. He left me alone and in debt. Not even enough money for me to feed our cat that we got together. Its depressing but I plan on remaining strong.
Not to mention he treated me this way and I'm 2 and half months pregnant. I never understood how men could plant their seeds and not even feed the mouth of the women who carry their seeds. Im going to be strong and will raise this baby alone. He or she will be my new happiness. It break my hear that by law I can't just up and leave and at any point if he wanted to be involved he'd have every right to. Even though he doesn't deserve it. But this is life and the society we live it. So I'll just pray.
Tags: breakup is good
I have known him from 8th class. He was the most flirtatious boy in my school.He was always behind my friend. I just hated him that time. We were in different classes until 10. Then for three years we were classmates. In plus one we both were absent for biology test paper.I was ill and he was lazy. However next day teacher prepared a new question paper. Only two of us were in the classroom. That was the first time he noticed me and asked me to show the answers. But i didn't help him. Because i just hated him.But after that we started talking and towards the end of school life we became best friends. He always flirted with other girls but was a genuine friend to me which sparked my soul. After school we joined different colleges.I felt very lonely those days and i don't had any phone for communication. After one year i was the one who proposed him. To my surprise he said he too feel the same for me. I was in cloud nine. Only communication was through messages. So yes somehow it was a long distance relation. We were from different religion which is a big problem in India even now. So we had a doubt about our future. Anyhow i loved him wholeheartedly. I thought he too loves me badly. But then i heard the gossip. I have a best friend from school other than my lover. he told me that my lover is having an affair with another girl. I didn't took it seriously then. But slowly i found he is not talking to me much. Then one day he told me that he loves someone else. How do you feel when you hear something like this from the one whom you love most? Yes it was terrible. It broke my heart and soul. I was numb for almost one year. Nothing was okay. It was my final year in college and i got very low marks.I never hid anything from my parents. I was afraid to face them. I was feeling very guilty. I was not okay until my post graduation. After that i gave myself a reality check. In between this i forgot about my family,my dreams and myself. It's been four years after breakup. I changed myself completely. I have lot of dreams to achieve. I am on a chasing mode now. My wrong and right decisions made myself complete. Now i don't fell any guilt or something anymore. But after that i never fallen in love. Even an infatuation scare the hell out of me. I am happy as single. I have a word for those broken hearts out there. Let him or her go. Tomorrow is always a new day. These moments will never come back. Be happy and always stay with your family.
Thanks for reading (i'm little bit weak in English.Sorry for that)
Tags: I don\'t really know...
Loving her was like driving a new maserati down a dead end street. Faster than the wind, passionate as sin ending so suddenly. I'm quoting Red, a love song by Taylor Swift because that's what I've been doing for the past 6 weeks. Listening to stupid love songs. I don't know how to start. I'd be lying if I said she was my everything. She was beyond that. I will never forget her impact on my life. She gave up on me. After 5 years of love. It sucks letting your soulmate go and not being able to do anything about it because she gave up. I will never find love again. Don't do that mistake guys, don't let the relationship reach the point of no return. You will regret it.
Tags: LDR
It was a long distance relationship that lasted for three years. I was too excited about meeting her in April for the first time after the stuff we shared together. I loved her a lot, and she was my motivation. I can say my life was turned upside down; I just didn't want to be an ordinary boyfriend for her, I mastered three languages, I became top of my class, and I was accepted for almost a position. I wanted to just do more with myself so that I can be worthy of her before I propose. Anyway, then three months ago, she developed a habit of not talking/texting me for days, and the reason was she doesn't want to interrupt my studies. Then, she would start meaningless arguments. Until, one day, she suddenly started saying that I never was any good for her, and she owes me nothing. That was right after she graduated, and she never talked ever since, deleting my numbers, every other thing except facebook. Then, I woke up one day about a month later, seeing her sharing a post of a quote "it's unlikely for a girl with high standard like me to date a piece of sh*t". I just liked her post, and I understood the message. It didn't take long for me to remove her before she would have done herself. Though, I would sometimes stare at my whatsapp screen on her number, waiting to see her status changing to online so that I know she is alright. It gives me some remedy, and as a matter of fact I am thankful because I was put on the right track because of her, I still owe her something, however.
Tags: Bad break up, trauma, hope, family, child
This goes out to all the people grieving over their break-up,
I wrote on here about a month ago, swearing that my relationship with my boyfriend was finally over. Crying over the fact that i was ready to get married to him, have his child and start a future. Swearing that no one could ever make the feel the way he had.
Well, long story short, i moved into his house, i had a beautiful daughter and am currently fighting for custody in order to return home. Suddenly the person I loved had become someone i dont know at all. This house has become a prison cell. And i live in constant fear that he is going to take away my most precious gift of all, my daughter. But time will pass, happiness nor sorrow lasts forever. I will win both legal and physical custody of my daughter and will finally live an independent life.
Take my story to reflect carefully on your own. Be careful what you wish for because one mans sorrow is another persons salvation.
Tags: First love breakup
I met him in seventh grade and I had this math worksheet that was really hard and he was the smartest kid in class so I asked him to help me and that was the start of it. We talked at school all the time and held hands whenever the teacher turned their backs. And when school was over we talked on the phone for hours sometimes on weekends we would fall asleep talking to eachother. I remember listening to him breath and I wish I was there holding him, just falling asleep to his breathing. He told me he loved me first. Instead of saying I love you I said I blueberry you because I once had a blueberry in the shape of a heart. I wonder if he still remembers that. We broke up at the end of 8th grade because we were going to different schools. We lost touch. I lost my mind. Even though this was so many years ago, I still love him. I still think about him. I'll probably love him forever, he was my first love
Tags: Bad breakup
He was in my advanced English class. I didn't even think about him at first. But then we started talking. He told me he loved me first and I said I love you too. 7 months later he decides I'm too complicated and sad all the time and that he doesn't know how to deal with me. I still think about him everyday. I love him, and I hope he's happy.
Tags: Everything happens for a reason
We met my sophomore year of high school, his junior. He was tall, lean, blonde and gorgeous. At the beginning, I was normal. I treated him right and gave him everything. Gave him my virginity a couple months in, there was nothing I wouldnt give him. But a year and a half had passed so quickly. I didnt notice how awful of a person i had became. I was so irritated by his stupidity, even when he was not stupid. I was angry and I felt trapped, I blamed him for my sadness. I treated him so terrible and I took his love for granted. Though, after a year I had began noticing my abuse to him and decided i wanted to be better for him. I began changing, showing him my love, spoiling him. I wanted to make it up to him. But my damage was done. In the remaining months of our relationship when we first got out first job, he began talking to this girl. He started to not call me, text me, see me. I would ask him why and he responded that he didn't know why. That he forgot. The now and then we did hang, he was texting her. He said she was helping him pursue his dream of drawing. I said okay. He just grew so distant and I was growing so attached. The day he broke up with me was outside my house, I was late for work but needed to see him since he used every excuse to not see me. He finally did, and we broke up. I lead it on. I knew he wasnt happy, that i didnt make him happy. So i encouraged him to break up, and that we were going to be okay. He cried. I did too. He agreed and he ended it. Except... he kissed me goodbye. That was when I felt such pain and disbelief, how could i have let him go? i drove to work in tears, almost got into an accident. I was such a mess and in such a shock. I texted him i didnt want to break up, he didnt reply. I ended up calling and he picked up, explaining this is what he wanted, then saying it wasnt, then saying it was, then saying it wasnt. So i indeed kept hope. We made a deal that he would come to his decision the following thursday a week from then. I kept hope. I called him that monday asking id he had made a decision, he said yes. He made it a while ago, but he wasnt going to tell me till friday. That break up was the most painful thing i have ever dealt with. I had a lot of problems that he only knew about, i was open with him completely. Trusted him. Love him. I had made him my world and left all my friends. When he dumped me, I had no one. So i rebounded. cried. rebounded. cried. Then realized that everything happens for a reason. In this case, i was a terrible person to him. He brought out the worse in me. He didnt deserve it. Im glad he dumped me, i wouldnt have worked hard to change my ways. He wouldnt have been so happy. Hes the one who got away and I miss him. Will always love him. And I am sorry.
Tags: Everything happens for a reason
We met my sophomore year of high school, his junior. He was tall, lean, blonde and gorgeous. At the beginning, I was normal. I treated him right and gave him everything. Gave him my virginity a couple months in, there was nothing I wouldnt give him. But a year and a half had passed so quickly. I didnt notice how awful of a person i had became. I was so irritated by his stupidity, even when he was not stupid. I was angry and I felt trapped, I blamed him for my sadness. I treated him so terrible and I took his love for granted. Though, after a year I had began noticing my abuse to him and decided i wanted to be better for him. I began changing, showing him my love, spoiling him. I wanted to make it up to him. But my damage was done. In the remaining months of our relationship when we first got out first job, he began talking to this girl. He started to not call me, text me, see me. I would ask him why and he responded that he didn't know why. That he forgot. The now and then we did hang, he was texting her. He said she was helping him pursue his dream of drawing. I said okay. He just grew so distant and I was growing so attached. The day he broke up with me was outside my house, I was late for work but needed to see him since he used every excuse to not see me. He finally did, and we broke up. I lead it on. I knew he wasnt happy, that i didnt make him happy. So i encouraged him to break up, and that we were going to be okay. He cried. I did too. He agreed and he ended it. Except... he kissed me goodbye. That was when I felt such pain and disbelief, how could i have let him go? i drove to work in tears, almost got into an accident. I was such a mess and in such a shock. I texted him i didnt want to break up, he didnt reply. I ended up calling and he picked up, explaining this is what he wanted, then saying it wasnt, then saying it was, then saying it wasnt. So i indeed kept hope. We made a deal that he would come to his decision the following thursday a week from then. I kept hope. I called him that monday asking id he had made a decision, he said yes. He made it a while ago, but he wasnt going to tell me till friday. That break up was the most painful thing i have ever dealt with. I had a lot of problems that he only knew about, i was open with him completely. Trusted him. Love him. I had made him my world and left all my friends. When he dumped me, I had no one. So i rebounded. cried. rebounded. cried. Then realized that everything happens for a reason. In this case, i was a terrible person to him. He brought out the worse in me. He didnt deserve it. Im glad he dumped me, i wouldnt have worked hard to change my ways. He wouldnt have been so happy. Hes the one who got away and I miss him. Will always love him. And I am sorry.
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