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Natalie

August 03, 2010 @ (FL)

So I've been with this guy for about a year and a half. We met over the internet and it was a long distance relationship, but we met up many times & every time was amazing. Our entire relationship was great (aside from the distance of course) We never fought, we talked all day every day, he was like my best friend. I'd never been so happy with someone. The only issue in our relationship was his ex-wife. She was very manipulative of him, using him for money and constantly trying to break us up. Well last week, out of no where he sends me a text saying that she had stayed the night with him b/c her electricity had been cut off. Of course I was not happy about it and was pretty upset, but he assured me that nothing happened and that he was going to take her that day to get her electricity back on and take her home. I asked him to call me as soon as he got her out of there and took care of everything. That was the last time I spoke to him (exactly a week ago) He didn't answer any of my texts or when I called later that day. And 2 days later, he had his phone disconnected...He sent me an email after that basically saying "I'm deleting your from everything. Please respect me and never contact me again" (ha yeah, respect him when he's so obviously not respected me) I really can't believe all of this is happening. We went from everything being perfect to total strangers in one day. It's obvious to me that he must be back with her or else I don't see why he'd just cut off all contact with me. It really hurts b/c I just don't understand how someone can be so close to you, and say they love you and want to spend their life with, but then turn their back on you. I feel like I've been thrown away. :(

Alex

August 03, 2010 @ (Atlanta, GA)

Tags: Parent Interference

Sometimes when you try too hard, you end up destroying everything.

Early last month, I had traveled to Germany to visit my girlfriend that had just completed a semester studying abroad in China. Her family has a home in Germany, and I was invited to fly over and have my long-awaited reunion with her. While my heart was joyful to have her in my arms again, I was about to face unprecedented circumstances ultimately leading to our relationship's demise.

For the first four days in Germany, the food was completely not agreeing with my stomach, causing much discomfort. Instead of complaining about her mother's cooking, I tried my best to eat what I could and be respectful. If the ordeal ended there, it would have been no big deal. Then Sunday's emergency hit.

Her family and I traveled by bike to a neighboring village to watch a parade. Unknowingly, I experienced the most emasculating injury possible while in route. Thirty minutes into the parade, I started to experience pain in my "manhood area." After excusing myself from the group, I went into a local bar, ordered a drink and went to the bathroom to find an unprecedented swelling of one of my testicles. (Thank God for anonymity, because naturally this is a truly embarrassing moment.) After this discovery, I exited the bathroom, quickly consumed my drink and swiftly exited back to the street. I told my girlfriend I immediately needed to get to the hospital, and word started to spread among the family. Without any option for a taxi or ambulance, we were forced to ride by bicycle to the hospital. Upon arrival, I was laid out in an examination room with my girlfriend and her mother standing at the end of the table, with my full injury on display. This was necessary, as I do not speak German and needed translation. I was diagnosed with Testicular Torsion and required immediate surgery. The procedure was a success, and I departed the hospital the following day to return to the family's house.

Back in their house, I was laid out in pain, recovering from my procedure. During this time, the whole family was working on renovating the bottom floor of the house. I felt guilty that I could not assist in their efforts, and isolated myself in discomfort. After 4 days being distant in their home, I was able to get on a flight back to America to see my English-speaking Doctor. My girlfriend would stay behind with the intention of traveling back the following week. We were on the verge of having a normal relationship, once again, after being separated for 5 months.

Then I inadvertently screwed up with her parents. The day following my arrival back to America, I wrote her parents an email attempting to explain my bad behavior during my stay in Germany. I thanked them for their hospitality, and humbled myself to any criticism they may have possessed. This letter was taken as an attack, and I received a reply 3 days later criticizing me for being snide and lacking self-confidence. They trivialized my relationship with their daughter and made the determination that I was not good enough to be with her. Thirty minutes later, and just one week after my medical emergency, my girlfriend broke up with me over Skype.

Instead of traveling back to America, she has stayed in Germany for another two weeks. She has only listened to her parents about their limited view of my conduct. She will not talk to me and will not stand up for the love we genuinely found together.

She returns to America tomorrow, from my understanding. I'm not going to harass her, but I'm truly devastated to have lost her. Hopefully her friends will help her form her own opinion of things.

If you've read this far, thank you. I felt compelled to write the whole background as I'm so very confused by these circumstances. There is no take-away lesson from this experience, and that almost makes it harder to recover from and rationalize.

John L.

July 25, 2010 @ (Orlando)

Tags: Why does this happpen

I have posted my story and it was the first time I ever had something like this happen.

My question after reading other peoples stories is this.

While everyone says move on thats all you can do. Others try to take revenge but my question is why?

Why do people of today treat people with such little respect. Sex is seen as nothing more than a social event when that is never what it was designed for. It was meant for marriage.

Look at all the media around you (sex sells) look at we as a people and what we are becoming. People are so selfish that they forget that the one thing you do is put the other individual above yourselves.

We are all here because the person we thought we could trust, believe in, give our lives to, want to be with for the rest of our lives, etc. Left or broke us. How many of us have done this to others. Yes many times it's better that we split (abusive or harmful) but at the same time its become normal to break people's hearts and souls and in some cases we still don't know why the other did it.

I am challenging all of you since you have gone through a breakup to stop and think. Don't just jump into bed. Look at the person in the face and ask is this the woman or man I can spend my life with. Waking up to their face every morning and never getting tired of it.

Don't let your emotions run your life. Stop the cycle that the world has said is normal. Stop having sex just because it feels good. Or you are lonely. Grow up and set an example for others to follow.

Bob

July 22, 2010 @ (bob)

Tags: help

i dating a girl after she was with a boy for a 1 and a half years and he broke up with her because she her best friend dirty things just joking around. and she was depressed for two months and 6 months later i met her and we talked for 4 months and dated for 2 and she broke up with me and said she couldnt do stuff with me because she still loved him and he hasnt talked to her for 6 months and she wants him back now and he wants her and ive been very depressed and when she told me i told her i hateed her and idk what to do

Ansi Jose

July 22, 2010 @ (Trivandrum)

Tags: Escape from Hell

I was in a relationship for the last two years. People will wonder how i managed to stay with someone stupid for such a long time. The person whom i loved used to call me names all the time and those words were so uncultured that i initially beg him to stop saying them. he won't and finally in an effort to get myself out of that pain, i used to bang my head on the wall and then he will scream " die you wretched bitch!" Once i took a whole strip of pills in an attempt to kill myself but that was a failure. He never used to give me any freedom. All the twenty-four hours of my life was for him. I can't watch a movie that i like, i can't talk to my mother or my brother, and i can't even go out with my friends. And the most important thing is that i can't even look at other boys. And the funny part is that he used to have a lot of girlfriends who used to visit his home and with whom he used to spend days together. Everything was forbidden just for me. And he won't let me do a job. Twice i got decent jobs but he will call me names all the way to my work place and he wanted me to take off on all the days that he liked. I had to leave both those jobs because of him. But it was okay if he is capable of getting a good income. that he was not! He never used to go for any jobs and he won't attend interviews saying that they will be tough! And to make things worse he has a brother who is handicapped and he wants me to look after him and his old father sitting at home. He never wanted me to be independent. At that point, i realized what he wants is just a servant, not a wife. And many times i tried to end that relationship but he will convince me to continue it and then again will start torturing me. Yesterday was the day when i took the final decision. I found out that i never can spoil my whole life for the sake of a stupid and incompetent person like this. So i finally said that "No". And of course he has threatened me that he is going to publish all the photos we had together everywhere and my mother and i are going to fall on his feet. And i also suspect myself to be pregnant. But come what may, I'm going to be firm on this decision and I am not going to spoil the rest of my life because of him.

JoLeigh

July 20, 2010 @ (Tennessee)

Tags: JoLeigh

My Boyfriend and Me were together for 7 months when it all started. He found out his Uncle (which was like his dad) had cancer. I was ALWAYS there for him, and ALWAYS tried to make him feel better. I sat in the hospital with him a couple of times, to try to make him feel better. He starting acting different around me when all this happend, He was alot more mean & starting acting like he didnt care anymore. I kept telling him how he was hurting my feelings but the fighting continued. At the first of July everything starting going down hill. We fought everyday. I always trie telling him how i felt but he never listened to me. One night around the usual time he calls me He said he wasnt going to call because he was watching a movie. I just asked him If a movie was more important than me? and he said I get mad over the littest things. All I wanted was to talk to my boyfriend? The next night, I texted him and asked him if he was getting tired of me? And he said I dont know, I just need time. So that scared me and I called him. Well apparently he didnt have enough respect for me to go somewhere private so we could talk about this. Because all I could hear in the back ground was people talking & he was saying was Idk Idk Idk to every question I asked. That night I decided to ignore him for the rest of the night & the next few days, hopeing that would make him realize how much he had hurt my feelings. But that was a horrible mistake because all he did was get more pissed at me over it. I finally broke down and texted him a few days after this and all he texted back was," You know we are not dating anymore, Right?" That broke my heart. I called him and we talked for 1 hour & a half. He wanted to take a 2 week break from our relationship because he was so "stressed" & needed time to think. So I was like Okay maybe this will Help out relationship. We went 2 days without talking and i was miserable. I missed him so much. A couple of more days went by and I found out from some of our friends he had been "talking" to another girl. And he denyed it when I asked him. & even his sister said he liked her & they were talking. I told him I was done and I wanted all my stuff back from him. 2 weeks went by, and We havent talked. He has left picture comments on that girls pictures, and ive seen them. Lastnight I broke down and asked him,"Honestly do you miss me?" All he wrote back was, " Kinda, but no not really." I was crying so hard I had a panic attack. Now here I am, Alone. I try to talk to other boys but all they do is remind me of him. I cry everytime Im not with someone being occupied. I miss him ALOT, & knowing im not good enough for him to love me forver like he promised kills me every second. Im depressed & not happy anymore. Ive always been a happy person but I cant even smile anymore. Next monday we would have been together 9 months, I still feel like texting him and saying Happy 9 month Anniversary sweetheart, I love you with all my heart, but i know I cant. God makes everything happen for a reason but i dont feel that this is a blessing or to make things better. Maybe one day someone will bring back the smile on my face.

John L.

July 20, 2010 @ (Orlando)

Tags: 8 year dream

I was with a girl for 7.5 months. When we first met she told me that she was going to try and get back together with her ex.8 years earlier I had begged God to show me the girl I was to marry. I had seen this girl and her dad for 8 years in my dreams and had been looking every day. 2 days before my 23 b-day,I took her out to dinner and it was my first date.We ended up hanging out more and more. FOund out later she was with a guy I knew and was having sex. I am a true Christian and wanted to show her that sex wasn't how you loved someone it was just being with the that mattered most. Her ex had messed up her head. I got drunk for the first time forher and apparently I woke up next morning with no clothes on. I lost my virginity.To me it was the most sacred thing I wanted to give my wife to say this is all that I am and I am giving it to you. We ended up doing it a lot and I thought she would stay with me. She was talking with her ex the whole time and I hated that but was trying to show I cared. He came back 4 two weeks and she had sex with him. I had just given her a 200 dollar pair of earrings saying the night before don't forget about me. She came back and we were together for a few months then she started working at a place full of guys then the there was no contact with her. I was like what the crap. She didnt tell me anything. I had nightmares of me being in the room while she was having sex with a guy I had never seen. Later found out she was seeing a guy from work. And that she had finally broken up with her ex.
I said is there any way that we could start over since she now had a clear head. No. She never once loved me or had feelings for me. They were all transferred from her ex to me. Sorry.
In the end I gave my virginity so she wouldn't go to another guy who would use her for sex,gave her my heart, mind, body and soul. I waited 8 years for this girl and she took everything and said it meant nothing. Now I am afraid to even ask a girl out because I believed in her. One time after sex she was like what is your favorite part. aka on her body. I pointed to her heart. I never wanted sex. I kept telling her it was just holding her hand, being in her arms, and looking into her eyes that made me forget everything. Now I fear she is destroying her future. All I can do is pray

Ben

July 19, 2010 @ (pueblo)

Tags: the dumbest fucking bitch

So.... here goes I dated my ex for four years and she considers it five things were good the first 3 years untill I decide to tell her that I cheated on her in the begining but things were all wrong when we got together I just left a horrid rfelationship and needed time to move on so dumbass me decides to give it a try. So many things happened the last three years I can't explain cause it hurts just to even open up but a lot of stupid completely ingorant things happened with us I'm glad to have finished things off the only real tradgety is we have a child who is one and a half and can't see her much cause the damn bitch chooses to harass me for instance I work seven days a week by chioce cause I really need the money so I'm out of town on the job and the bitch calls me telling me what a piece of shit and all the names from the emergancy room only stating my daughters in there but won't say why this continues for two days none stop calling me this calling me that but still nots wrong with my one year old daughter so the last call I get is she is being transported due to trauma injuries now I leave my job without saying I get there and she is there with a guy she just started seeing and is imoblized in front of him (bet he didn't know she was harassing) I go see the dr. Says she's fine and is going home in a couple hours. Now what kind of cunt of a mom tells u that your a piece of shit and not what's wrong with your daughter would u go to the emergancy room with a raging cunt cussing u out instead of saying your daughter is hurt and needs u? wtf

Ann

July 09, 2010 @ (Washington)

Tags: stalker, engaged

I met my ex through a woman that I worked with (Who, in retrospect, turned out to be as much of a nutcase as my ex). So my ex and I fall "in love" and after about a year of dating, we're engaged.

At this point my soon-to-be husband had been living in the dorms on the military base an hour a way from my home. He promises that he would make the commute a little easier and move closer- even just a little(He doesn't have a car so I'm doing all the driving). So the time comes for him to find a new apartment and I find out that he completely disregards his originally promise and moves about 25 minutes the other direction. Great. We get into a fight, he tells me it's over. I spend the night miserable. The next morning I call him and we work out our issues- he then proceeds to tell me that he got mad at me and "closed" our wedding account (That he hadn't contributed a penny to) and that he left the money at the bank. Of course I find out later that he actually spent it in one night on god knows what. Like an idiot I forgive him and we continue to date....
Nine months later I drive to his apartment (still an hour and 25 minutes away) with red velvet cupcakes and plans for a romantic evening. I help myself in, he's cleaning the bathroom. I give him a big hug... and right as were having this nice moment I see the words "I want my first child to be yours." as an incoming test message. Long story short- He had been cheating on me with this chick for a while. I left heartbroken. The next week I get a death threat from the girl he cheated on me with telling me to leave him alone. I write her off as being crazy but call my ex to talk to him about it. We're talking again anf of course he says he loves me. A couple days later he "loses" his phone and is calling me from a friend's phone to tell me how he wants to work our relationship out and that he needs me. A week later I get a call from his family telling me that he was getting a restraining order against me for stalking him (really long drive to stalk someone), that he changed his number because he was afraid for his safety and that I was crazy. Two weeks later and totally not stalking him- I'm posting lovely new pictures of me and my new love interest. It's a win-win, I found someone better and he'll never have to worry about me "stalking" him again.

Emma

July 01, 2010 @ (arizona)

Tags: example1

My boyfriend and I had been together 9 months. We'd known each other and been really in love for almost 2 years. I gave him absolutely all of me. We really were great together and always had fun and showed each other how much we were in love. He always told me how he wanted to marry me and how much he loved me. Everything was going great until one week he had phone issues. He never tried to contact me in any way. When he did get his phone back, he still didn't at least text me and say he'd call me later or anything. So after going from speaking everyday or just getting an "i love you" text from him, which was always enough for me and made me feel so amazing, he went to zero communication. Who wouldn't "freak out"? I tried contacting him and got nothing. Anyway, I went to see what was going on and he told me he wanted a break and started naming off all these silly previous fights that he had already apologized for and I had forgiven and moved on. He said how I ask too much of him, which he lives 2 hours away, and he had always been able to find time to call me or just text me each day, and if a day or two went by, I was okay with that because I do know how busy he really is. Anyway, after saying all that I had finally agreed to a break. I asked if he wanted to break up and he said no, just a break for a few weeks because he didn't have time for this.
A month has gone by and I had tried to contact him out of desperation for answers the first two weeks. I have not tried to contact him for the past 2 weeks and I will not. I sent him a pour my heart out, this is what really happened with all the silly fights, and do you really love me if you're throwing away what we had...and still heard no word.
It's the most painful thing in the world to go from "i love you I want to marry you baby" to not acknowledging my existence. We are both 21, so yes I know we're young, but he had been so genuine and he doesn't sugar coat anything, so I know if he didn't love me, he would have just said so...
I've been suffering from panic attacks my whole life, but had not had an issue with them again until all of this happened. It feels as if my world crashed down. I live alone, I'm in a new state where all I have is a job so this makes things even more difficult. I do have hobbies, but cannot pursue riding horses at this time because I live in an apartment and can't afford to board a horse in town.
I wake up every morning thinking about every good and horrible thing we've gone through. After what he's done to me, I hate him, but I love him at the same time. My heart races, my stomach turns, I feel nauseous all day long and cannot eat like I used to.
I tried not making him my whole life, but I guess I felt what we had was so real, I never had to worry about him not being there. This all makes me sound pathetic, I know it does and I hate feeling this weak.
How can you love someone so much one day, and want nothing to do with them the next? And no, nothing changed. He changed. I know there isn't anotherr girl because his roommate wants to date me and I'm sure to get me to date him, he would tell me if there was another girl.
So now what? How can I get over this? I've bought books about breakups that have helped me on the whole outlook of this about how if we were so perfect, this wouldn't have happened.
But still...
anyone have any words of advice or encouragement? Anything would help. Sorry this was so long.