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Jack

May 27, 2012 @ (Texas)

Tags: 1

I really dont know what to do,

I had been dating this girl for about a year. We met in college and began dating rather quickly after we got past the friend stage. She was my first true girlfriend and long term relationship and I fell rather hard and rather quick. We argued like any normal couple did but it was always very petty. We argued basically because we loved each other so much. The girl was never a slut in any form and had only ever had sex with boyfriends of past ( i know this for a fact). she even held her self to this standard and seemed to be quite proud of it. She always spoke about wanting a good guy in her life because her previous ex had abused her and cheated on her. he used to text her a lot and she would always argue back but she showed me everything and i was never worried about her going back to him in any way. she was a very honest person and would never lie to me and our relationship was great. I did everything a good boyfriend should do i was 100% faithful, i did random things to get her affection, and would do all kinds of unasked favors just because i loved her. however she had one major flaw. She hated more then anything when she was wrong, to the point where she would become upset with me because she had wronged me. It was obvious who treated who better and even though she was so irrational sometimes i couldnt help but still love her and thing she will change. she told me she would change and i even tried to break up with her because of her actions but she begged me back. well a couple months ago she randomly broke up with me because we argued too much. after the breakup we continued to talk and after a few days we started talking about wanting to get back together. She said she wanted to take babysteps but contantly told me she loved me and when i asked if the breakup was for someone else she would tell me of course not and that she still loved me like i said. well one day i went out of town and before i left we went to eat. she told me she loved me kissed me and wanted to get back together. well even afterwards she was texting me saying she missed me and wanted to see me. I found out that weekend she had been just kind of texting around and wanting to go to some functions with fraternities a month in advance so i ended things with her on good and mutual terms that sunday.however right after this final ending i noticed a hugechange. before we broke up she always talked how shed always be there and still love me. Well for the next 5 weeks she went completely cold hearted. i didnt talk to her really except on rare occasion when i had a question about class. she would freak out and just be a total bitch. I couldnt figure it out why and i would ask her why do you hate me why cant we separate personal from school and what did i do to deserve all this. she would always overreact and say how she didnt hate me but she would continue to be a bitch. i found out about that 5th week that she had started having sex with another guy who was basically completely random. I was under the impression it happened after the final ending but i came to realize that it actually happened that same friday she was talking about getting back with me. I was devastated because this was so out of character for her and it made even less sense that she was being so bitchy all along when she had wronged me. help me understand why she is acting like this. we have since ended all forms of communication she blocked my number etc because like i said she cant stand being wrong and couldnt take the heat of me calling her out. i even went as far as to ask her why she would do that after telling me all those things and she responded in a way that showed pride in her actions. I cant understand why this girl who was supposed to have a great moral fiber would do this. is it because she truly loves me and hates herself for what she did and its just a defense mechanism? she still has yet to apologize for her actions and she had sex with him 3 months ago ad weve been broken up that long. she even goes to the links to kiss him in front of me in bars to try and prove a point.

VM

May 16, 2012 @ (Earth)

Tags: sighs

So me and this girl had dated for about 7 months. The first 5 months was perfect, we were in the honeymoon stage and it was full of love. About 2 months ago, she has this personal problem that she couldnt tell me but I can see a big shift in the relationship. She told me that this personal problem has caused an effect in our relationship and there wasnt anything I she and I can do about it. Things went down hill from here because shes become more snappy. We got into this one petty fight and I walked away because it wasnt necessary. She then later on said something that really got to me, she said that I have no urge to fight and that makes her lose interests and she think she can walk all over me. Maybe its the age difference, im 29 and shes 22 but I dont like fighting over small things especially I already accepted the fact that she is high temper issue. But after this incident, I started having dilemmas with my actions, always questioning whether I'm being too nice or maybe I should be mean. This causes big time withdrawal and I feel like I can't be myself around her most of the time. Since Valentine, we stopped having sex because she has this health issue (i know it wasnt an excuse cuz she has many doctor visits). And then comes the personal problems, she stopped making time for me but rather stay busy with work, school and her friends. A kiss becomes a peck on the lips, holding hands become very vague. The only thing I feel like we truly still had was we still called each other sweet names and quick kisses here and there. I tried to understand and deal with it because I respect her space/time to deal with personal problems. It wasnt easy but I had friends to talk to and helped me through it. About a week ago, we took off on a cruise and the entire time I had to play the "careless attitude" game and to her, I came off as blunt and rude. So be it but I didnt have any more rooms to suppress my feelings about the situation. Then on the way home from the cruise, my ex started venting about her relationship to me (note that she does talked to her ex and whenever my ex contacted me before I always let her know and she said she doesnt care, we have that trust) so I was in a venting mode and vented back. After a few texts, I realized this is wrong because my ex started to tell me if this girl doesnt treat you right then leave her. That doesnt help me, I felt like my ex was trashing on my relationship so I stopped and deleted the thread. My current girlfriend saw that i was texting the ex and later checked my phone but only saw the last part of the message (which said my bf stopped talking to me and walked out of the room, she was venting). To her, this is a dishonest act that I deleted the message, she thinks I have something to hide and she said she lost complete trust in me. I understand where she comes from but I really was deleting the message out of my own guilt and not hiding anything but she doesnt believe me. She said that she has major trust issue and to others this may not be a big deal but to her its a huge deal. I asked her how she felt about us, she said that she doesnt think I can ever cheat on her and that Im the best guy shes ever dated (she dated many guys before but they were all the assholes type so I spent most of my time to show her that good guy does existed and always go out of my way to make her happy) but she cannot trust me after what happened even if she forgives me and broke up the relationship. Ive asked all my friends and they said it was a harsh decision but I need opinions from someone that doesn't know me so please help. I also know that what I did was wrong and I wrote her an apology letter to own all the faults I created but it didnt seem to affect her decision. I just feel very shattered because I spent the past few months to build this relationship and it is now broken over an honest mistake, and accident that I didnt think what i was doing was being dishonest.

Sugar Is Sweet

December 08, 2011 @ (Sunshine State)

Tags: Lonely,

My boyfriend and I dated for over a year and a half.

He cooked for us, was very sweet, obviously cared for me a lot. Always did little things to make me happy.

He didn't talk very well, I would ask him questions, tried to use positive reinforcement to get him to talk about his feelings. Cause I think that's important.

I analyze everything, he tends to not think about it.

I wanted to have sex more, his libido wasn't as strong as mine.

I wanted to hang out with my family, he never felt like it.

I wanted to spend more time together, it never seemed to work out.

There were things I could have worked on, too. But by the end of our relationship, even when we were together, I felt terribly alone.

I miss his touch, his kisses, his sweet words. I miss almost everything that reminds me of him, I miss him with everything I have.

But I know I made the right decision. Goodbye, love.

Broken

July 14, 2011 @ (Desert)

Tags: heartbroken, lost

I just broke up with my boyfriend 2 days ago. He says that he is devastated, but I caught him telling girls that he was single and giving out his number. I also caught him telling another girl that I was clingy and it made him want to vomit. The worst part about it is that he is the clingy one. he is constantly upset when I have to work, or if I can't stay the night with him. He is also telling me that we are single, because we dont live together. But I had a guy from my work randomly call me and he lost it. He said that I should never have guys call my number. He is also addicted to xanax, hell take 5 bars and not remember a thing. And while on these pills he is very mean to me. Why am I so addicted to him? He has been very good to me in the past. For my birthday he took me to $100 dinner. He also always answers when I call or text. I know that he is not cheating on me currently, but I am afraid that its coming to that. Now I am questioning whether I did the right thing. I miss him so much. We used to see each other everyday, on his choice. He was my friend advice giver. Im completely heartbroken and I have never felt this way about a guy before.

Violet

April 19, 2011 @ (NYC)

Tags: relationships, break up, love, hurt, pain, choices

'After 8 years in a relationship you realize there comes a point you ask yourself. Did I just miss out on "my life" and live someone else's or should I move on to the future and make this"our life". Well after 8 years you obviously share almost every moment together. Living together, same friends, family is involved, your best friends, you have animals together, or even children, both have great careers, may even own a business together, you have this life together. Which are all positive things that you want in a relationship. Thats the outter shell of a relationship looks and sounds wonderful. The inner part of that shell is what matters right? Well when you have to deal with BAGGAGE. Emotional problems, affectionate problems, ego problems, privacy problems, boundary problems,"my own" space problems, or "I need space". So how invovled are you supposed to get? Then there is the other part of the relationship is where you waiting for this person to change and do all the pro''s and con''s of each other. Yet you LOVE this person more than anything in the world and want to be with this person more than anything in the world. Its like where is the fun and love and when you are looking to change and figure out this person everyday. Where do you find the time to build a future when you are worried about the past or the right now? Then again, you want to work it out so badly because you love this person so much. Then it goes back to the beginning question am I missing out on my life or am I worried about their life? What to do? Big risk. Lose out on love and may never feel this love again or live life they way you want and hope to be in love like that again.Therefore, I chose the hard way; the challenge after long 8 years I chose to leave the one I love its been a year and I still love him. It was one of the most hardest things I have ever done in my life. I miss him everyday, think of him everyday and wish he was still my friend. I know he moved on and can carless how I feel since I was the one who left the relationship. Its not that your getting over the person when you break up, it getting over the fact your not in love anymore and want that feeling back more than anything. That is what I learned.n Don''t get me wrong I have had one of the most amazing years of my life and don''t regret my choice. Break ups are not easy. ',

Catalina

March 12, 2011 @ (california)

Tags: 2

my ex and i had a perfect communication and he was an awesome boyfriend.. but unfortunetly he never had time to hang out outside of school much and well...now my question is.."how do you tell yur ex yur pregnant if both of you guys are still virgins??"..i honestly dont think he wud believe me and think i cheated on him..and why wud i do that if i care about him and love him??it sounds imposible because this doesnt happen to many people..and i kno the baby is his because hes the only guy ive everdone anything with besides kiss..i dont know what to do..my ex and i are good friends at the moment..i know he still likes me because he told some of my friends..he just didnt have time fur anything..he was a busy dude:/..my friends asked him,"what would you do or think if yur girlfriend told you that she got prego by you??" and he said that he doesnt believe in a girl becoming pregnant without sex..i feel like if he were to tell me to get a DNA test..i would get it, mail it to him and pack my things and raise my baby on my own..somewhere far like mexico maybe..because he denied it the day he made me get a DNA test..and beacuse he thought that low of me

Sly-guy

February 17, 2011 @ (Texas)

Tags: example 1

not really a break up but here it goes... so i'm 13 and don't give me that focus on your studies crap... I've never been much of a G.F. B.F. type of guy but when one of the hottest girls at the school starts trying to talk to you, you dont just turn down the offer. So it starts off great but its just talking never dating. Then about 2 months later still just talking no dating and im beginning to question our relationship and if we'll ever be more than just what we had been. She tries to tell me we will but she's nervous. I believe her but im still skeptical. About a week later what do you know she says we should stop talking and that she sees me as just a friend. She has no new boyfriend or is event talking to anyone she just got tired i guess. "500 days of Summer" without the happy ending. I now know what it feels like to be heart broken...

John L.

July 25, 2010 @ (Orlando)

Tags: Why does this happpen

I have posted my story and it was the first time I ever had something like this happen.

My question after reading other peoples stories is this.

While everyone says move on thats all you can do. Others try to take revenge but my question is why?

Why do people of today treat people with such little respect. Sex is seen as nothing more than a social event when that is never what it was designed for. It was meant for marriage.

Look at all the media around you (sex sells) look at we as a people and what we are becoming. People are so selfish that they forget that the one thing you do is put the other individual above yourselves.

We are all here because the person we thought we could trust, believe in, give our lives to, want to be with for the rest of our lives, etc. Left or broke us. How many of us have done this to others. Yes many times it's better that we split (abusive or harmful) but at the same time its become normal to break people's hearts and souls and in some cases we still don't know why the other did it.

I am challenging all of you since you have gone through a breakup to stop and think. Don't just jump into bed. Look at the person in the face and ask is this the woman or man I can spend my life with. Waking up to their face every morning and never getting tired of it.

Don't let your emotions run your life. Stop the cycle that the world has said is normal. Stop having sex just because it feels good. Or you are lonely. Grow up and set an example for others to follow.

JoLeigh

July 20, 2010 @ (Tennessee)

Tags: JoLeigh

My Boyfriend and Me were together for 7 months when it all started. He found out his Uncle (which was like his dad) had cancer. I was ALWAYS there for him, and ALWAYS tried to make him feel better. I sat in the hospital with him a couple of times, to try to make him feel better. He starting acting different around me when all this happend, He was alot more mean & starting acting like he didnt care anymore. I kept telling him how he was hurting my feelings but the fighting continued. At the first of July everything starting going down hill. We fought everyday. I always trie telling him how i felt but he never listened to me. One night around the usual time he calls me He said he wasnt going to call because he was watching a movie. I just asked him If a movie was more important than me? and he said I get mad over the littest things. All I wanted was to talk to my boyfriend? The next night, I texted him and asked him if he was getting tired of me? And he said I dont know, I just need time. So that scared me and I called him. Well apparently he didnt have enough respect for me to go somewhere private so we could talk about this. Because all I could hear in the back ground was people talking & he was saying was Idk Idk Idk to every question I asked. That night I decided to ignore him for the rest of the night & the next few days, hopeing that would make him realize how much he had hurt my feelings. But that was a horrible mistake because all he did was get more pissed at me over it. I finally broke down and texted him a few days after this and all he texted back was," You know we are not dating anymore, Right?" That broke my heart. I called him and we talked for 1 hour & a half. He wanted to take a 2 week break from our relationship because he was so "stressed" & needed time to think. So I was like Okay maybe this will Help out relationship. We went 2 days without talking and i was miserable. I missed him so much. A couple of more days went by and I found out from some of our friends he had been "talking" to another girl. And he denyed it when I asked him. & even his sister said he liked her & they were talking. I told him I was done and I wanted all my stuff back from him. 2 weeks went by, and We havent talked. He has left picture comments on that girls pictures, and ive seen them. Lastnight I broke down and asked him,"Honestly do you miss me?" All he wrote back was, " Kinda, but no not really." I was crying so hard I had a panic attack. Now here I am, Alone. I try to talk to other boys but all they do is remind me of him. I cry everytime Im not with someone being occupied. I miss him ALOT, & knowing im not good enough for him to love me forver like he promised kills me every second. Im depressed & not happy anymore. Ive always been a happy person but I cant even smile anymore. Next monday we would have been together 9 months, I still feel like texting him and saying Happy 9 month Anniversary sweetheart, I love you with all my heart, but i know I cant. God makes everything happen for a reason but i dont feel that this is a blessing or to make things better. Maybe one day someone will bring back the smile on my face.

Rachel

February 20, 2010 @ (Missouri)

Tags: Eric

We were together for 3 years and he treated me like a princess, i became a little too controlling, lost some of my confidence, and became a little to clingy, we didnt hang out with our friends like at all which i think was another problem...the only thing that i cant say i cant stand about him..is i feel like he didnt communicate very well to me the way he was feeling. Okay so me and my boyfriend almost broke up about 3 weeks before and he said he felt like he made it clear that I needed to change the way I was too controlling and that he wanted to hang out with his friends more. I guess things started to get bad again when I felt like the only reason he stayed with me was because I got really upset when he almost left me. He didnt ask to hang out with his friends or anything so I figured things were getting back to normal. Then I said something to him about things just not feeling the same and he just jumped all over this, which really upset me. Then a couple of days later he decided that we needed to talk so he sat me down and started to tell me that he just didnt want to be with me. Im not going to lie, I asked him for a chance to change and I told him that being with me for 3 years he couldn't find it in his heart to give it one more go, and he said he just didnt want to try anymore. He was really upset when he did it and even cried and kissed me good bye, he even said if we are meant to be together we will get back together. We didnt talk for 3 days and then we both ended up going to this party, when I was walking out of the bathroom he was walking in and i like tried to talk to him and I could tell he didnt want to talk to me and I ended up realizing he was drunk, we then went outside because i was dying to talk to him and he just kept saying he wanted to go and hang out with his friends. We ended up going back into the party and i got really upset because his friends pushed some girl onto him and she was grinding on him, i yelled at his friends and he ended up coming over and telling me i needed to leave and just stop he finally went outside to talk to me and ended up saying that he was texting another girl to try and get me to go away. I was trying to get his phone so that I could see his phone and if it was true I would leave him alone for good, then his friends came out and like pulled me off of him and we ended up going to my car and he just kept saying that he didnt want to be with me anymore and that he missed me but he was having fun with his friends, we were gonna talk the next day somewhere but he ended up texting me saying that there was no point and that he wasnt going to go. Then when i saw him at school because we have a class together we sort of talked but he still wouldnt budge on the fact that he didnt want to be with me anymore and he said now he knew that we werent meant to be together. Then we didnt talk for a week and it was a 4 day weekend and when i came back to school on tuesday, it had been a week since we had talked, he sat down next to me said hey and asked how my weekend was. I told him and didnt ask him how his was and he got sort of upset that i didnt ask, then he asked if i had been talking to other guys, and i said i was sort of texting someone and i didnt tell him who and he ended up grabbing my phone to see and got mad at who it was. Then that night we had to stay after school for like 3 or 4 hours for newspaper and we talked and things started to get flirty and like fun but he still said he didnt want to be with me but that he did miss me and still loved me. Things turned bad that night whenever we sort of texted becuase i think he felt like it was a mistake. Then the next day at school i thought that things were gonna be the same as the night before but he ended up being mean to me, and i just kept trying to talk to him (big mistake)and then that was it. later that day i found out he got so drunk a couple of nights before that he made out with this really nasty trashy girl. The next day i wouldnt even make eye contact with him and he kept looking at me but i refued to look at him. I found out that he was sort of embarassed for kissing that girl. That night he messaged me on facebook and said "rachel one question?" and i never answered...the next day at school i didnt look at him again and that was it. I found out that he had been talking about me to people and asking questions about me, like he asked this girl in our 4th hour what i was talking about to her. He got so jealous when he found out i was texting someone else, wanted to know if i liked anyone else, and asks people if i hate him... i dont understand, he told me to move on yet he is doing this? Its been 2 days since he tried to talk to me and hasnt tried to talk to me again...I am wondering if he will come back to me...or have i already ruined my chances...i dont know if i should keep doing what i am doing by completely ignoring him or what...