Searching for "intimacy"


4 Results For 'intimacy'

Elsa

May 18, 2016 @ (USA)

Tags: bad breakup, heartbrokened, sad, intimacy, men, women, problems, what is love, some guys suck,


I feel very sad that my ex broke up with me last month. He used me for a year and had a fling with me meaning making out and having intimacy. I met him at some church but he still was not kind of guy I thought he was. He was a guy who thought he knew what he was doing but he used me for only one thing. I thought he loved me. We went out for a year. We met at church although I thought he thought he wouldn't break his promise to me since he told me he would marrying me but that was a lie. He pretend to love me when I loved him and he really seem like he just wanted to break my heart. He thought he was dating me when he never paid half for date and I always did. It seem to me he never wanted a real relationship just a rebound from his ex girlfriend and he wanted to overpower me. He broke up with me in sometime in April. He said he needed space but I knew something was fishy when he said that. He started to smoke more and drink more energy drinks. I am so sick of being used. I am relieved I ain't pregnant by him. He also told me he wanted a baby but I think he wanted to do that to every women and he was just trying to overcome his intimacy addiction.


       

Kami

April 27, 2015 @ (UK)

Tags: bad breakup


Many years ago when I was 17, I had just got my driver's license and was keen to ask this girl out. So I took a mate of mine and decided to ask her out - she said yes. Our relationship built slowly after that we had a few groups dates and my mate (who came with me to ask her out) came on some of those group dates with me. Anyway, the relationship went well for a year but then she got really controlling and started making me a bit depressed which in turn I gave her less attention and she got upset too. We never "split up" at any point but we did take breaks from the relationship. Sometimes a few days but the max was 1 week. One time I got too close to a female friend of mine on MSN (this was how long ago it was) and we spoke quite a lot online. We never got together or anything and I never went to her house and she never came to my house, heck we didn't even meet up to go shopping or anything like that. But again, this made my then girlfriend paranoid and I had to cut off all communication with my friend. We never had sex and the furthest we got (intimacy wise) was just touching each other. I did ask if we could have sex but she was a Christian and wanted to wait until she got married to have sex. I respected this and limited myself to touching - which was hard but I got over it. A year and 7 months since we started our relationship, I felt that she was too controlling..

During our relationship I wasn't allowed to talk to any other females but she took it upon herself to flirt with her ex boyfriend and also 2 other guys who were interested in her. I was jealous and furious - why is it that she was allowed to speak to the opposite sex but I wasn't? I wouldn't be as furious if the playing field was even. Ended up giving up trying to reason with her and allowed her to do whatever she wanted.

Her controlling-ness got even worse and she called me every night before I slept, texted me every 10 minutes even when I was in school.. I couldn't take it anymore and I broke up with her. I said that if in 6 months or so we still liked each other then we could get back together. She said she'd wait for me...

1 month later, she started dating one of the two guys that she was flirting with previously. To be honest, it didn't bother me that much - I just found it funny how she said she'd wait for me and then started dating one of the guys she was flirting with. After the breakup, I had already been speaking to other girls (I had moved on) and I've been in a happy relationship for over 6 years now.

Funny thing is, after we broke up, she came to the same university as me and with our departments being quite close, sometime we would come across each other in the hallway. She would totally ignore me if she saw me and some of her friends had told me that sometimes she would deliberately avoid me if she saw me first. I mean... What? I can only laugh at that when I think back to it...


       

Alanna

March 22, 2013 @ (ukraine)

Tags: break up, cheating


We started our relationship in October, 2010. From the beginning we were extremely comfortable with each other. Needless to say, we shared a level of intimacy that seemed unreal for two human beings to share. For a little over two years, everything was perfect, a strong word to use, I realize, but there seems as though there can be no other way to describe it, all I needed was him and all he needed was me, we’d spent most days together, and the time we were apart we spent communicating through one or the other form of technology, and it was never one sided. I would contact him as much as he would contact me. We became so codependent, irrational as it seems, it was hard to even ever imagine a life without him. I changed the way he thought, when I had had met him he was impulsive, to say the least. His character comprised of instinct and upbringing. He grew up in a large family, and now would be the right time to point out his islamic roots, his father has never had a ‘father to son’ talk and, initially, he too, was introverted. His thoughts, suppressed. I changed that, he no longer believes in following anyone without question, I eradicated his naivety. Before making a decision, he now rationalizes the consequences, or so I thought.
Although originally from pakistan, He lives in a first world country, two years, four months down our relationship, he was invited to pakistan, to attend the wedding of his cousin brother with his cousin sister, yes, cousins getting married is a perfectly normal thing to do in pakistan, never mind the incest or medical issues raised by it. Anyway, he was to be gone for two weeks.
Upon his return, I learnt, through no help of his, that while his stay in pakistan, he had cheated on me, with one of his cousins. Although, I know it is a possibility for any person to cheat, I would never think of him cheating on me. I still have trouble convincing myself some days.
But all that is done now, we broke up in February, 2013. Its been over a month now.
I have forgiven him for what he did. I am not sure if I would ever get back with him for the only reason of the risk of him repeating his impulsive action. It is futile to talk about this as it is under no intention of his to be with me.
We see each other everyday and on most weekends too. And I see him, looking at me, telling me how beautiful i look, noticing the slightest change of my appearance, our legs touching under the table even though there is clearly plenty of room to sit separate. All this is just so natural for me, it appears to almost be innate.
Well, I suppose it doesn’t help that even though we have broken up, we keep an active sexual relationship. We agreed that it was simply too good to let go and neither of us have had sex with another person after the break up, also, we currently live in a country where the chances of either of us having another relationship are slim. So for me, this set up is actually pretty good, but I suppose he wants more.

A common friend of ours is in a long distance relationship, and he currently has a girl visiting him who happens to like him, and to avoid any trouble, he asked my ex to ‘seduce’ her. I presume, it should not have surprised me, but when he jumped at the opportunity, I was left speechless. I was moving on, happy even, but this little event left me hanging dry, and feelings I was too scared to confront before have managed to finally push their way through. As I type this, he is meeting her, today, for the first time, in hopes to sleep with her. And I am left, feeling alone, unwanted, insecure. I feel as though he moved on too quickly, with so much desperation, it disgusts me, makes me feel disrespected. I worry that even the times in our relationship when we were happy was also a lie. I can not live with that truth.


       

Jeanice

May 13, 2011 @ (San Diego)

Tags: 1


This is the second day of a breakup cleanse that I am doing. Yesterday I did not feel as sad as I am feeling today. I feel silly because this guy and I had only gone out for three months and it seems silly to feel so sad. I am 43 and Honestly this is the First time I fell in love. I just felt deeply connected with him and the moment we sat and talked I knew I loved him. It was the strangest feeling I had ever had. It was something deep down within. Also the more I was with him the more I felt as if I was falling in love. Since it was the first time maybe it wasn't supposed to work out I don't know. I know that from our first date he did as I said in my previous post(yesterday) he spoke a lot about his ex. OMINOUS Warning I failed to heed FOR SURE. I know for the future I will run so fast if I see the guy is unavailable. Yet I see with all of the intimacy problems I had had, hence being 43 and NEVER having been in love, there were DEFINITE issues. I see that in many ways he was safe for me to fall in love with. He was amazing with me, and I really do feel that he did care deeply for me. I also got to find out that the feeling of falling in love happened within ME !!! Which is so great because I know it is not all HIM so if he leaves the scene I can still have that LOVE feeling within me. YIPPPPPEEEEEEE for that. I also know that because I love him as much as I feel I do he can be a great friend. I must admit I am still having hopes that it can work out. I will let him go as the saying goes (I am paraphrasing) If you love something set it free if it comes back to you it was yours if it doesn't it never was AAAAHHHHHHH I have tried in the past to hold so tightly to things and it always has caused so much pain. I just want to fall in love and get married, to have a lifelong partner. SO there I am !!!!