I met my ex-girlfriend on an online dating website and things got serious pretty quickly. She had bipolar disorder but was not getting treated. She lived with her parents and had a rocky relationship with her domineering and controlling mother. I always got the impression that her parents viewed my ex-girlfriend as a disappointment in comparison to her two older sisters who were both married with their own families. It seemed like her parents were happy with just about anybody who take my ex-girlfriend off her hands.
Initially I got along with her parents. I attended family gatherings, holidays and even went on a vacation with them. Over time, however, things changed. It started during a dinner we had with her parents. Her mother had a habit of scolding my ex-girlfriend about seemingly petty things. Even though it was an awkward situation that was uncomfortable, her mother was very unapologetic and instead got upset at me for not talking.
After two years together, we started to run into some problems. My ex-girlfriend was pressuring me into getting engaged, mainly so she could get my health insurance and get treated for her bipolar disorder. She even talked about eloping first so she didn’t have to wait to claim my insurance. I started to feel that the relationship was a little one-sided. We practically spent all of our free time together and I was bothered she never showed much interest in any of my hobbies and was always very vocal about how stupid they were. Another problem were her mood swings which often lead to arguments, which occasionally took place in public places.
After we broke up, I went out on my own while my ex-girlfriend immediately jumped into another relationship. Also during that time, her parents sort of relented and allowed her to get treated for her bipolar disorder. After a few months, we both realized that we still had feelings for each other and decided to get back together, promising that things would be different.
At first not everyone was excited that we were back together, mainly her parents. They were upset because they believed her new boyfriend would’ve eventually married her and because they believed I had caused my ex-girlfriend’s mood swings. My ex-girlfriend’s mother was upset at me over an incident that happened a year ago that never occurred. Even though my ex-girlfriend believed her, I was suspicious of her mother.
Initially everything seemed to be going great. The relationship was a lot more balanced and because my ex-girlfriend was taking medication she wasn’t getting those mood swings that plagued us last time. Around the holidays, things started to turn. I was driving my ex-girlfriend to the airport and my car got a flat tire. As I pulled into the gas station, she started screaming at me, like she did before she was taking her medication. It was so bad that the attendants felt sorry for me and gave me the replacement tire for free. Even though my ex-girlfriend wrote off the incident as holiday-related stress, it was the first indication that something wasn’t right.
Over the next month, my ex-girlfriend continued to act erratically and decided to break up with me on Valentine’s Day, only to change her mind the following day and the same pattern would occur every few weeks. Also during that time, my ex-girlfriend discovered that her mother had tricked her into not taking her bipolar medication and had told her doctor that she no longer needed them causing her doctor to believe she was misdiagnosed.
Eventually, my ex-girlfriend’s mother began to act even more coldly towards me. During an argument over the phone, I overheard her mother screaming in background and demanded that she break up with me and get it over with. Every time I saw her mother, I tried to be friendly or polite to her but she either scowl at me or storm out of the room. She continued to badmouth me and even made bizarre accusations about me. She claimed that I wasn’t serious about getting married and claimed that I was gay. She even told family members that she didn’t think that I was a nice person.
By the spring, my ex-girlfriend’s mood swings started to get worse. One night, my ex-girlfriend had too much to drink and she started grinding against me at a restaurant. After I quietly pushed her off of me and told her to stop, she started screaming at me and eventually pushed me out the door. When I returned, she continued to scream at me and had to be told to leave by the manager.
On the way home, I told her we were finished but she wanted to talk. She asked for another chance and promised to stop drinking. When I wouldn’t reconsider, she got upset demanded that I get out of her car and kicked me in my ribs and threw a half empty wine bottle out the window. The following day, she changed her mind and tried to convince me to give her another chance. After she got her friends to contact me, I felt like I had no choice but to give in.
In the following weeks. My ex-girlfriend’s mood swings got worse and she even got pushy and demanding. When I tried breaking up with her again, she again forced me to reconsider and sometimes held me hostage in her house until I reconsidered. Personally I felt trapped. When my ex-girlfriend and I got back together, this was not what I had envisioned. Now I felt depressed and noticed that I had gained weight.
I decided that I needed an outlet for my feelings and decided to sign up for an obstacle course race. My ex-girlfriend immediately thought it was a dumb idea and was upset that I ask her permission. She also hated that I joined a Sunday softball league with a friend, even though she worked on that day. She always expected me to stay home and meet with her after she got off of work.
The night before the race, my ex-girlfriend decided to rehash an old argument about how she felt that I wasn’t committed to her and believed her mother was about me. The argument continued as I was driving her home and when I tried to break up with her again, she lost her temper and started hitting me over the head with a book as I was driving. Afterwards, I was forced to change my mind after she refused to leave my car. The following week, I finally broke up with my ex-girlfriend after I cancelled my plans with her and she furiously berated me on the phone. Unlike last summer, this was for good.
In the months that followed, my ex-girlfriend continued to try to contact me.
Sometimes she scolded me for breaking up with her and occasionally she begged for another chance. She even would scream at remaining mutual friends when they wouldn’t tell her any information they had on me. I also learned that she was in a serious car accident that some of her friends believe might been a suicide attempt. Eventually, she stopped trying to contact me and I learned that she had started dating another guy and was once again taking bipolar medication.
As for me, I rediscovered how to have fun again. I made a lot of new friends on the softball team I joined that summer. It helped that we won the championship and I ended up making the game winning catch. I also lost 50 pounds and have since competed in 3 more obstacle course races. I even started dating again and am currently in the early stages of a new relationship. It’s been fun and I can't remember the last time I felt this happy or excited about my life.
Basically, I was dating this guy for a year. We gave our virginity to each other. We said "I love you". (We were in college btw...I'm 23) We met each other's family. We were both each other's most serious relationship. He acted like he was head over heels in love with me....he would say it and show it. Anyway, we were serious......then he breaks up with me.....doesn't really give me a reason.....Oh! and he does it while we are at my parents' house during Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays....I had to drive him back to the apartment to get his things. He leaves. I never heard from him again. My friends (who were his friends too......oh he basically broke up with them as well) tried to ask him to give me more explanation or something because I wasn't handling it well.....and he said, "She can mess up her life is she wants. It's not my problem". He's now in a relationship with a new girl. And you may ask, is this a habit of his? Well, he has had a decent number of girlfriends before. I'm the only one he has done this to. There are sooooo many more details involved in this story, but I'm sparing y'all from them. So yeah.....that happened to me.
Me and my ex dated for a year and a half (well almost...). I don't know if I need to move on or not, it doesn't feel right in my heart to. Here's some background information:
We were best friends all the way through secondary school, the first week of year 11 we got together. We then spent the next year and a half together, which was the best time of my life, I felt feelings towards him that I never felt for any one before, he was my soul mate and I couldn't imagine my life without him. Then one week before our 18 month anniversary he ended it, saying he needed more space, which I agreed I felt we needed too, not that I wanted to break up. The next few weeks were hell, I couldn't get my head around what had happened and why. We talked for a few days after the break up, going through everything, and then didn't take for almost a week, which was hard considering I talked to this boy almost every day for 5 years of my life. It is now three weeks on and I still miss him like crazy, we still text, and he claims we are still 'best friends', it just doesn't seem right, I know we are not supposed to just be best friends, we are supposed to be more, and everyone thinks that. He is giving me mixed signals on how he feels, even though he claimed after 4 days he had 'moved on'. The worst part is, I still think about him every day and love every moment we are speaking, however, we work together in the school holidays, which means after breaking up and not seeing him for a month, we have to work together next week for two weeks (Easter), and I don't know what's going to happen. I know I can't move on because its not right, so how do I make him realise its not over?
Well about 20 months ago I began dating a girl with whom I had a great relationship and love affair, for about a year. She was awesome, terrific to laze around and watch a movie with, terrific with my son (id say they were even good friends, I sometimes wonder if he misses her, he doesn't mention it).
About 8 months ago she got pregnant. She wound up miscarrying. After that she had some struggles and the relationship got to be not as good, she kept trying to change herself to look better. I kept telling her I always liked the way she looked. Finally she wound up in the hospital after going drinking with her friends to a bachelorette party and I had to split up with her. I just said "I'm sorry but I can't talk to you, I can't reason with you, I just left my son at his moms for 5 days sitting ina hospital to make sure you're alive and well, I can't handle it anymore" and we split.
She came over and hung out a few times, we stayed friends, she'd play words with friends with both of us everyday, all that. Then family circumstance changed a nd my son and I had to move away from the town we were in.
And thats when things went nuts. She told me she'd missed her period, I said ok. She'd gotten pregnant before, but miscarried, she sent a photo of some positive tests, so I didn't disbelieve her. I said we'll deal with this as it happens, but I'm already committed to moving 2 hours away, so for the time being thats it. While later she sent me a picture of an ultrasound with a caption like "take a look at our kids", we talked about it. A while later she sent another, a doctors report. Then she invited me to some ultrasounds, once in the middle of the week when she knew i couldn't make it as there was nobody to pick up my son, once 1 day after she knew my son and I were scheduled to fly to Cali to visit family for the holidays.
Then she started texting me stories about her amazing love life. How she was dating 2 dudes, how one was "rocking her world" so I got suspicious and just googled ultrasound pictures. I eventually found BOTH THE PIC OF THE POSITIVE TESTS AND THE ULTRASOUND PICS ON GOOGLE IMAGES.
I called her on it, she maintained she was pregnant, with twins no less. Eventually I had to call her sister, her sister said no she's not, she goes to the bar, she lives with our mom, she's just messing with you. So I talked to her about it and she responded with a pic of 4 ultrasound pics next to her ID. Except they were printed and cut with a scissors and ALSO found on the internet.
So I told her to stop it, I knew she was lieing. Then I started getting prank phone calls in the middle of the night, people with blocked numbers threatening to beat me up or "kick my @#%#", strange texts from out of state numbers. Finally someone showed up at my hotel room when I was visiting the old town, at about 9-10 am beating on the door and yelling my name. I figured it was related as I'd gotten numerous late night / early hour pranks the night before.
I wound up having to change my phone number, my email address, and get a restraining order. And she STILL, even though she has admitted to her mom and sister that she is not pregnant, and I've spoken to them about it, finds ways, through mutual friends, to get texts and emails to me about how pregnant she is.
I just hope it eventually ends. And let there be no doubt that truly "he!! hath no fury like a woman scorned" or, as it seems, no crazy like one either.
It has been the worst 4 months of my entire life, truly traumatic.
Tags: first heart break
my gf recently broke up with me and heres the story;
we were together for almost 2yrs and i thought she was the one. my family loves her and she gets along with my friends and vice-versa. she was my longest girlfriend and i let all of my guards down. we recently went on a trip too and i can remember a month before the trip she told me she doesnt feel the same way. but, me, blinded by love i ignored the warning and thought everything was ok and she was just having mood swings. as days, weeks went by she was back to normal. the day of the our 1 week trip comes, we were really happy and in love(atleast i was). so we get back from the trip(it was a great trip) and i thought everything was going fine. its september so we planned to spend the holidays together because my whole family is leaving the country for a month to spend the holidays over-seas. a few weeks after the trip its was september 28 to be exact, i was having a shitty day at work and looking forward to seeing and talking to her. that night, she just wanted to end our relationship, my heart sank while i asked her why and her reasons were: she's still young, she wants to figure herself out, she wants to experience life and she needs her own space. i talked her out of breaking up with me but i would give her a month break to have her space and to do her own thing. i tried to let her do her own thing but i failed, i still called, texted and saw her. that went on for a couple of weeks. she would still say i love you to me but whenever i was with her it didnt feel right anymore i mean i love her but i could just tell that she's fallen out of love with me. i was too stupid to be honest to myself and face that there was no point of me still trying, giving my absolute best to make things work out and make her fall in love again. but she would say the littlest things that would give me the biggest hope. so there i was again, lying to myself, prolonging my own agony, torturing myself. until a fews ago, i faced my fear. we were in her place we watched a movie after the movie we had a serious talk about our relationship. she was still trying to fall back in love with me but she also knew that there was really nothing there. so i told her if theres nothing there anymore dont bother. she wants to stay friends but that would be impossible for me. she loves me but not inlove with me. so i walked out of her house crying my eyes out my face was hurting alot for holding the tears for so long, carrying the bag of chips and dip i bought for the movie(she didnt want them). that night was the night i felt so bad for myself. only a few people know that we're broken up even our FB relationship status says we are still in the relationship. everyone thinks we were perfect for each other. i still need to have my question answered "why/how did she fall out of love?". it gets tougher everyday because i still have that little hope. im trying to be strong and busy to get over my first heart break. its so hard for me to tell people what im really feeling inside. my friends see me as a strong man yet i feel like a little kid inside hoping to be loved. im doing the best i can not to contact her. im trying to get back on my feet and just let things be. i dont know if she'll miss me and come back but i best not expect anything.
for other guys out there: growing up we were always taught to be tough, strong and not to show any kind of weakness. while, girls are taught the opposite they show emotions, how they feel and all girls out there expects to have their heart broken by a guy one day. us guys would never expect that. so when we guys get our hearts broken it would be unexpectedly fcked up for us.
atleast thats how i see why im having a difficult time coping with this.
well i got some out of my chest! thanks for reading
I'm 15 years old, he's 16. Let's call him by his initial, D. We started as good friends, and it slowly morphed into something more, like he would say 'I miss you', when I went out with friends and stuff. We had a common friend, my best friend, and he told me that he liked me, I was relieved because I thought he liked my friend. So we were together for 3 months, we rarely argued and it was all good :) But during the winter holidays, we barely talked, and he left for Japan with just a quick 'oh btw im going to japan'. So when he returned, we talked again over Skype, but I realized something was wrong. He wasn't the same. So I asked him if he liked me, and he said he didn't know, so when I tried to talk it through, he just said brb, cos his friend was calling him. Then when I asked whether we could talk in person, and he said he was busy tomorrow. So he promised to talk the day after. When the day after finally came, he said he was 'too tired in the mornings' and didn't even bother. So we decided on 'a break'. Meanwhile, he went to my best friend for support, though he didn't need it. I, in turn, somehow became close with the friend he had ditched me for, on the day that we broke up. During Easter, we got close again. He started making sexual comments, and touching me..but he never once said he liked me. It was all over by the time Easter ended. I had gotten into a fight with my best friend over my actions in the past year, for she didn't like how I had changed with sadness. It hurt me to see my ex making statuses for her like 'cheer up' or 'go online', But what hurt most was, on his steam profile, he said he loved a special person with a description so fitting her and the things they talk about. I don't know what to do, we still talk but it's awkss. I just need some advice.
We weren't together long, probably only over a month and the relationship felt kind of rushed, as if everything just went way too fast. It isn't as if I regret anything about the relationship as it happened, I just think it would've turned out better if it didn't go so fast.
Anyway, all of a sudden when the holidays began we saw each other less and less. I was told that he was working too much and he was too tired to see me. When I asked about our lack of communication he said that he was just too tired and that I never really talked to him. It was frustrating and despairingly I attempted a sort of silent approach interspersed with periods of strained conversation (not face to face). I have no idea how any of this was supposed to help and so I just left it. He didn't 'have time' to see me...okay, then I'll just go on and assume that he's just not interested anymore.
So basically my breakup was a prolonged period of confusion in which the dumper let me work it out for myself that we were no longer together. Whether this method of indirect break up was an act of cowardice, laziness or (seriously misguided) kindness I don't know. We still talk occasionally through social networks and such and are supposedly 'friends' in a weird way that feels like nothing meaningful. I don't feel any resentment towards him (or try not to) because this stuff happens and people lose interest. Except I hope that when it does happen most people explain this to the persons' face and don't let them painstakingly figure it out for themselves.
I'll try to shorten this as best I can! We met in school, got on instantly,glued at the hip! About a year later we got together. It lasted a month, we decided we were better as friends. But we got back together again. We were together for a year and a half.I was part of his family he was part of mine.I adore his family. We went on holidays together.We had the best of times. I could always be myself completely around him. He made me laugh more than anyone. But like any relationship, there's good bits and bad bits. I broke it off for various reasons, I felt like he only came to me when he had nothing better to do. He used to hang with these guys and they would fool around in cars racing and stuff, the thoughts of him being in an accident or doing something stupid made me feel sick. Basically I felt that I was in the relationship more than he was. He was the first person I wanted to see when the weekend came but I felt like I was the last person he wanted to see. Yeah he was always working and I understood that it was difficult, we didn't see each that often but I was okay with that I guess I just wanted him to want to actually want to see me. Also whenever we were together and he got a text from one of the boys, he'd leave to meet with them. Anyway, because I can tell him anything I told him all this straight out.So we left it on good terms. We're still as close as ever, we hang out when we can catch up and things.It's like nothing could shake our friendship, there's never awkward moments. It's been six months since we broke but lately I'm beginning to miss us and what we had a lot. I know It's pointless because I had gone crazy by the end of it all and It just doesn't work with us but I can't help but I adore him and in some ways want it all back again.I swear sometimes when I look at him he does too. What has always confused me about him though was how he would do so many things that show that he cared for me and he obviously did, but then he just did things that showed he didn't care that much at all. So there you have it. The story of my life!
My boyfriend of almost 4 years broke up with me after coming back from Canada. Before he left, i could see absolutely no problems in our relationship. We were happy, saw each other often and he had used up his saving to buy me a new phone.
During his trip to canada he became distant, deleted me and all our mutual friends off facebook, asked for his space and extended his trip without advising me prior. He came back telling he that he has been seeing other girls.
On the bright side since breaking up, i've scored a date with a doctor however i'm still not over the bastard ...
Tags: Holiday Joy
Back story: B/f and I have lived together for 5 years. We have been through a lot. Losing grandparents, my father having cancer, him being laid off...the list goes on. We have talked about marriage before and he always said that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.
We are at thanksgiving dinner with his family and as always the questions begin about future wedding plans. B/f flips shit and in front of his whole family tells me he is moving out, he can't handle the pressure. I still had to drive an hr to my parents house and have thanksgiving with them. I figured he just snapped with pressure of the holidays and what not. I went home around 10pm...his shits gone...phone turned off.
To make things worse, his brother calls yesterday to ask me out on a date. Weirdest fucking family ever.
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