Searching for "mean"

189 Results For 'mean'

Lyn

January 23, 2014 @ (New york)

Tags: Bad break up, I still love him, First love

Our relationship was totally unexpected. Last september 2013, a guy that I had a teeny tiny bit of a crush asked me out unexpectedly. No clues, No everything. Out of shock, I started freaking out. I don't know what to do. My mind screamed no, but heart says yes! The reson why i don't want to go on is because im scared of my mom. Like really. She's the definition of a really strict mom. i was scared but then a thought crossed my mind.

Why not accept this? Everything happens for a reason right?

That's when I said Yes. For the first 2 weeks it was amazing. The sparks, the giddy butterflies in my tummy were there until my mom found out about him. It was horrifying. My mom was in range. My mom threatened me to talk to him in school. I was scared. I told her that I promise to break up witj. So I did. I explained to him everything. After a day, things were back together. We decided to mend things back together. I mean we aren't officially dating but you know what I mean? You can sense that something's still going on? Yup, that's it. October came, he stole my first kiss. It was magical. All I could ever think about is that I love him. That everything revolves around him. Its like he's my world. He's my strength yet he is also my weakness. Everything in him is just perfect. The way he surprises me with kisses.. The way he brought Gatorade just for me (Gatorade is my favorite drink, i just love that shit lol)
It was perfect. Everything was perfect. There are even times when he makes silly jokes or I took glances at him in class and im like 'shit, I love this guy' I was soo inlove. It was just.. Perfect. I never been so happy in my life. Everytime I woke up he's all I ever think about. He's cute 'Good Morning's'.. It made me cry, thinking about all those happy memories.
When christmas break came, he told me that his wifi router got broken.. Me, being the understanding girl that I am, understands him. I told him it was okay that he shouldn't worry about me.

(We talk and chat in Kik. We can't text since my mom checks my phone all the time)

One time, back at christmas break.. I was looking at my chat box in facebook but Something totally made me stop in my tracks. He was online. And he was usinh he's phone. I messaged him, i did everything but noo, he wouldn't reply anymore.. I don't know why. Christmas eve came, I kept on looking at my phone hoping that maybe he'd greet me a merry christmas but no, nothing came. It broke my heart. But one thing crossed my mind. I was like 'oh maybe he's wifi router is still destroyed'

New year came, I was waiting. Waiting for him to atleast greet me but no, nothing still came. It hurt me. It Crushed me .. to millions of pieces. But there's one thing that made me ball my eyes out.. He's close friend messaged me in facebook. He's like;

Happy new year __ ! How are you and him? I hope that this year is going to be a big blast for both of you. Best wishes. Haha don't forget im one of your #1 Fans of LYN! hahaha cx

That totally made me cry. I mean out of everything why that? Why his friend.? Its really heartbreaking to know that he's friend greeted me, while him? No. There was no effort. It crushed me. The way his friend says he want us to be good this year. It break me.

School came along, i tried not to approch him. Waiting for him to atleast apologize or say Hi, or ask me how my christmas break went but nothing. He never did. It crushed me. The next day, I tried talking to him but he was distant like he really is. He's bestfriend approached me and told me he wanted to talk. I listened. He's bestfriend told me the truth. He met a girl back at christmas break. He went to the movies with her and ate in a restaurant. It killed me. I was paralyzed in my seat. My breathing hitched. My face paled. My mind went blank. I felt like crying but my tears wouldn't fall. My eyes feel numb. My skin is on fire. I feel like someone just throwed me a bucket of lava. Just like that. It crushed me. I've lost weight. Im not the happy girl like before. Every recess or lunch, I don't mingle with my friends anymore. I just stay in the classroom, facing the wall, got my phone out and stay there till' its over. It crushed me. I'm not the bubble person that I am before. But you know what hurt me the most? He acted as if I never exist. It was like I was invinsible. That he couldn't see me. Just like that. There are times that I break down in class. I just couldn't help it. He looks soo happy without me. Huge smile in his face. And well, I also think that he has a crush on this girl.. He craves for her attention. He sits with her all the time in class. He talk about her all the time. I don't know what to do. Its killing me since we are classmates. I could see him everyday. Its hard to ignore him. It really is. It broke my heart. he is the love of my life. He's my everything. He's the only reason why I smile. Its hard. I mean he is after all my first love. My first ever boyfriend. My first kiss. It hurt me to know that another that I love, would leave me again. Like my dad. He left me. I mean sure, I got to see him and everything but it isn't like before. My dad has another daugther who is my half sister. My dad loves her so much. He wouldn't even bother to talk to me anymore. He wouldn't crave for our communication. When me and my dad's girlfriend fight, he always take her side. It kills me. Another guy who I love would leave me again. Wow, What did I do to deserve this? It kills me. Its almost a month now but im still not over him. He's all I could ever think about. I don't know what to do. I want the real me to be back again, but it wouldn't. Its hard to smile. He looks soo soo happy without me. It break me into millions of pieces. It made me realize that love is shitload of bullshit. I honestly don't believe in love anymore. I mean why? No matter how loving or caring that person is to you, they will break you in the end. Those people out there that are experiencing heartbreak, don't worry. Your not the only one. Im trying my hardest to stay strong. Let's just believe in ourself, have faith in God. And never say never

James

January 17, 2014 @ (Australia)

Tags: Bad breakup, Sad, feeling lost and confused

We actually met when I was with my ex at the time a gf of almost 3 years and we were not happy at all and I was going to break up with ex. While out walking my dog I met a really cool chick in whom I had a connection with and shared alot of interests. Anyway over bumping into her on walks over a series of months some things happened and took place that seemed like fate and like were mean't to be together so I took a chance and ended it with my ex for another chance to be happy with a girl that appeared to be my "most ideal". We hung out and had an instant connection, strongest intital connection I've ever had with a girl ever ! Although when were hanging out (not dating yet) she told me a story how she has problems hugging her own parents and with displaying public affection, which waved a red flag in my head but I ignored it. We started dating but we rushed things along way too fast which was bad. We spend a whole week together never happier by the two week mark she had moved in with me and "we" and our dogs were all getting along and it was the best times ever we had plans for the future because everything felt right and mean't to be. In the 2 months I was dating her we were so happy and she was affectionate then 6 days days ago she was so distant no kissing no cuddling no touching, sex virtually no talking at all, almost nothing at all, this went on for about 7 days I couldn't understand it ? I am missing a point here she had troubles with affection in general as I found out. She never displayed affection in public except a few hand holdings under sufference though she was really affectionate behind closed doors. She kept telling me I am not a normal girl and I don't like affection and had excuses for no longer wanting to kiss and cuddle or even spend any time at all together really. Prior to this she was very affectionate for almost the 2months even though she said she has problems with affection. So I ended up making the decision to break up with her yesterday, I still don't understand what happened she was with me almost all the time and had no car so she never cheated also appeared very genuine and sweet, I don't know why she completely shut off and all affection and caring and everything was just suddenly gone. Our breakup was messy she was really cold and sarcastic and I said you owe me an explanation..what happened why were you happy and affectionate for 2 months and now nothing, just shut off and distant ? she said "I dont owe you s@#t ! " and eventually "I just don't have one an explanation an answer I wish I did" just before I broke up with her she posted on facebook I don't know if I'll ever be affectionate like everyone else is.....I should of seen all this coming from spotting the first red flag indicating the sign that she has problems with affection. Right now I kind of feel lost and confused and I will never have the satisfaction of knowing what happened, what changed, I'll never understand it !

Emily

January 07, 2014 @ (usa)

Tags: bad break up

We started dating last year, everything was perfect. He was my everything, my first love, and he made me the happiest girl in the world. I was so proud to call him mine and everything was amazing. We never fought, we made each other laugh all the time and there was never a dry moment. We got along so well and every day I loved him more and more. We saw each other every day last summer and we were both sad because in August we would be going our separate ways for college. We spent so much time together in July and August and we both loved each other so much. I truly believed he was the love of my life and that we were meant to be and he thought the same. We swore our love forever to each other the day I left for college and I really believed the distance wouldn't hurt our strong relationship. After a few weeks in college it was clear we were becoming kind of distant. I was so sad because I put him over almost everything and i tried to talk to him and tell him I was thinking about him all the time, but I felt like I never received anything in return. I felt unappreciated and kind of worthless to him. I saw him a few times and he didn't even seem sad to say bye to me. It seemed like he had completely moved on with his life and forgotten about me. He insisted that he still loved me but was just really busy, and I believed him. He always talked about this other girl but said they were just really good friends. I was suspicious that they were maybe more than friends but I didn't do anything about it because I didn't believe he could do anything like that to me. He would always hang out with this girl and I would see pictures of them together and it made it seem like my worst fears were coming true.. he was falling for another girl behind my back. I tried talking about this other girl and our relationship and i told him i felt kind of neglected, but he said I was breaking his heart and I mistakingly said I made a mistake and didn't know he still loved me so much. We continued to talk but he rarely did anything to make me smile or make me happy. I felt like I wasn't talking to the guy i loved. I saw him over holiday break and after spending a few wonderful days with him he told me he liked this other guy. "I like him, but I love you," he told me. It was probably the worst thing I've ever been told in my entire life. We had spent the whole week mending our relationship and being happy together, only for him to drop this horrible news on me at the end of the break. I then made the biggest mistake of my life, I continued to spend the rest of the weekend with him and act like things were okay. He had me under his spell and was playing and manipulating me. I knew I had to break up with him, I wasn't going to be his back up in case things with this new girl didn't work. He clearly didn't know what "love" meant and was deceiving me the whole time. My gut feeling knew he liked this other girl I just didn't want to believe it. About a year after we fell for each other, I broke up with him after the weekend was over. It was so difficult I cried every night. I still think about him every single day, but I knew I didn't deserve to be treated like that and in time i'll find someone better.

123

December 21, 2013 @ (uk)

Tags: heartbreak bad break up

So this summer I went on a language course in valencia. And on my last night i met this beautiful polish girl. The school I was going to had arranged a dinner and I wanted to sit with all my friends but the only space was next to her, who I had previously not met. Anyway, we started talking and got on really well all through the evening, at the start I didnt think she liked me but I realized she did when I kept catching her looking at me when my head was turned away. The next day I came back to UK and we started talking loads on facebook and skype. Skyping her was always the best part of my day. We spoke for about three weeks like that all the time her saying yeh you should come see me in poland ! So i thought about it and eventually got round to booking my tickets and eventually went to see her for a weekend. We had the best weekend ever and got on amazingly well, slept together every night and talked about how much we liked each other and how cute we were and how amazing this whole situation was. She said she had not felt like this with anyone for a really long time and that she felt so comfortable with me which was weird as it usually takes her much longer to get so comfy and like someone so much. She was basically the first proper girl I had done anything like this with, so it made me feel really good and she said how special I made her feel and how I gave her shivers down her spine. Basically, I was head over heals for her and she genuinely seemed to like me as much as I liked her. I came back and a few days after we skyped and I bought my tickets to go back in about a month and a half's time. The first few weeks were fine, although I missed her loads and thought about her all the time we spoke loads and she always said how much she couldn't wait to see me and that she adored me and that she wanted me and how much she wanted to kiss me and hug me etc, considering this was my first girl I was basically in this amazing haze of happiness, everything just felt so good. But as time went on I think we both began to realize the reality of the situation. Neither of us wanted anything serious or it to be more than a bit of fun, but at the same time I think she fell for me as much as I did her. We began to text a bit less as she got busier and things started to slow down, and even skyping wasn't so great anymore. One night we skyped and I told her that I didn't think things were going to work out well and that there was no way that they could and that the whole situation was a bit stupid. The next week was terrible we barely spoke and when we did it was awkward. The more I thought about it that more things didn't make sense espeically as we weren't even properly going out or together or anything. I did try to hold thingks on since I had already bought my dam tickets but she began to be really cold and distant and said she had been on dates with some guy, which although we did agree was fine that if we see someone we like we should go for it, although it did make me feel like shit as she knew i had bought my tickets to go there in just a few weeks time. It eventually ended when she told me she was seeing some guy and that we could only be friends if I came to see her, and that it wasn't the fact she was seeing someone else it was the fact its too difficult to maintain anything even though everything she said was true. Although I understood and knew deep down it was always going to end badly, I still felt terrible as it was a week before I was meant to go and I thought it was bad how she started seeing someone knowing I had booked everything and more that she accused me of becoming too attached, when she had told me all this stuff and that it was true...I will never understand why she couldn't see that. I haven't spoken to her since and don't intend to, but it really sucked at the time, cried for three days straight and generally just felt completely empty and destroyed and completely unhappy and without meaning or drive. Although we werent official or anything it still sucked, but it does feel good to get it off my chest ! word of warning, the first experience with a girl / women will never end well, beware that they also can say shit and then the complete opposite a few days later....definitely scared of getting involved with anyone else for the time being !

Becca

December 03, 2013 @ (belfast)

Tags: creepy, ugly, slutty, tramp

YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A LIAR AND A ASSHOLE!!!

so I was going with this boy for six months I know its not long but things were beginning to get serious so soon! He would tell me he loved me and that he wanted to be with me forever, I mean he proposed and everything but boy did I feel like a fool for saying yes. Things were going so smooth and we were getting along very well then all of a sudden I got a call from my cousin Kyla saying that he was in town with my best friend at this time, so I began to get angry as he was in Belfast as he lived a few miles away and I hardly been him. He lied to me and said he was away to help clean up his house a little then out to his friends just, the point is he was hiding that he had been up and lied to my face. Only for my cousin telling me I wouldn't have known, then after a while I just let It slip then things went back to normal. I then went to my cousin Kyla's to see her and Rhys who was my boyfriend at the time and we had fun we had a party with lots of alcohol and sure I was up doing gangnum style and ended up being sick half way through the dance, then it was time for bed. The next day I woke up and had to get ready to get home and Rhys was on my phone signed into facebook while I was straightening my hair but he was acting weird and he kept hiding the phone so I took the phone and seen messages from this girl names Rebecca Redmond saying "when will we meet up again and where xxx" so then I knew he had been cheating. I didn't know what had came over me and I just started head-butting him and punching him and he kept denying it then my cousin came in and had to make me calm down, it was like she was trying to tame an animal at this point. Later that day he walked out while I was crying and I tried looking everywhere and was late for my bus as me and his two friends looked for him then a couple of days later his new girlfriend then phoned and said he had cheated on me a lot of times and just five days into his new relationship he had sex with her and I was angry at how she was acting she was just a bitch!!

Mike

December 01, 2013 @ (Houston)

Tags: Cheating, whore, liar, pain, bitch, evil, shitty, traumatizing, slut, cheater, con artist,

I was with my ex for almost 4 years when things started to get bad. She was drinking a lot and we were fighting almost daily. One day we went to the Renaissance Festival in our town. She said she felt like the relationship was ending and I said that might be the case but we should discuss it at a later time and enjoy the rest of the day together. That night we went camping at the festival and saw Molly. After hanging out together all night we decided to go back to the car and sleep because it was so cold. On the way to the car she was walking behind me about 50 feet and I told her that I was going to go up to the car ahead of her and get the heater going. I got in the car and waited for a few minutes and she never showed up. I started texting her, asking her where she was and she said she was lost. I kept texting her for 40 minutes trying to explain to her how to get to the camp site. After that I started to get mad and I told her that I was going to leave if she didn't come to the car. She texted me back "I'm safe". I was furious and I started asking her what the fuck she was doing, but she stopped texting me. I waited in the car all night tripping and freaking out. She showed up at the car at 8am, completely drunk. Her hair was messed up and her make up was smeared. I accused her of fucking someone and she kept denying it. A few days later she got drunk again and got in a mean mood. She admitted that she met some random guy at a camp site and fucked him in his tent while I was waiting for her in the car. She also admitted that one night two years before she fucked my cousin while I was sleeping in the next room. I thought she was a faithful and loyal girl. I did not see that coming at all. She had cheated on me the entire time we were together.

AJ

November 15, 2013 @ (Lincoln NE)

Tags: Break up

First he says he loves me, and my best friend says she loves him. But she promised she wouldn't tell him. But the the next day he texts me " I'm sorry I just don't think you my type, I mean I'm such a bad boy, and your such an angle. Ya and if he new me at my house I'm not an angle. And then I find out that my best friend was dating him! She is such a trader.

Leila

November 04, 2013 @ (Antarctica )

Tags: Ring

He gave me an engagement ring and told me to think of it like another thing I can use... it doesn't mean anything, just something shiny to wear.

Jess

October 24, 2013 @ (Florida)

Tags: Bad break up

At the beginning, I knew better. I knew better than to date someone who I hadn't been friends with for a while.
I knew better.
Yet still I was determined that this guy I was seeing, was worth it all and that everything would work out. He promised me. Doesn't he know how to keep promises?
His parents got in the way. Always. I learned to accept that, and even though they would insult me to the point of tears, I never gave up on this guy. I never lied, cheated, or never kept my promises.
I let him in, and we enjoyed eachothers company. Just two lovers, happy with no interruptions.
I learned his likes: Baseball, Christ, Spicy Food, Powerade Zero Orange, Orange anything, Food always, and much more.
I learned his goals: Finish college, own his own Chick-Fil-A or sports bar.
All of my friends loved this guy, because I was happy.
I really was happy.
He never really went out of his way unless I begged though. I wasn't sure how to take it, but I never got really upset. I just asked him to please do something to make me feel special.
He ALWAYS promised.
Lies?
I mean he always said he had a surprise for me, and the times he actually gave me a note, it would be two sentences.
Still, I was happy.
Suddenly I became less important.
Morning texts consisted of "Good morning, love you." You're telling me you had 30 minutes ride to college and all I got was that?
It used to be "Pick me up at 10:30AM, let me ditch school to be with you."
Suddenly, I didn't feel like enough, and even though he reassured me that I was, he never showed it anymore.
My birthday weekend was terrible. Last minute he decided what was more important, It wasn't me. Not even on my birthday weekend.
I was upset. I forgave him.
We moved on, but he no longer kept his word that he had surprises.
Why lie?
I became a part of his life and suddenly he could lie to me.
I loved him anyways.
I don't know if I expected too much, but I didn't ask for a lot.
I gave him so much.
I always supported him with any decision he ever made.
I tried to make him happy still.
I recieved broken promises.
My sister died. It hit me so hard, but I never showed it.
I didn't want to bring him down.
He never asked if I was okay. Not once.
I wasn't okay. I'm STILL not.
I loved him anyways.
He lied to me and said he would go to the funeral with me.
I felt special.
Then he said no... I felt worthless.
He could see how much pain I was in, he still said no.
I forgave him. That is unforgivable. I needed him and he walked away, work was more important.
I still went to his work, I hugged him and cried. He made everything okay suddenly.
Suddenly, I didn't feel worthless.
Then came Sunday.
I was broken. My mom was in the hospital, my sister died.
Broken.
He broke me MORE.
He walked away from me at the worst time.
I let him go, he didn't fight to stay.
Suddenly, those endless nights talking, random walks, the aquarium, my birthday, the baseball games and laughing in bed... were to be broken memories.
We talked that night. He lied. He gave me false hope.
We got back together and suddenly it was okay. We could fix this. Love could fix anything.
I forgave him.
He broke me even more.
Suddenly he ignored me all day. We spoke only late at night.
His parents got in the way. I could see how much he let them control him and his happiness.
He hid me from them, like I was the dirt beneath them.
He toyed with my emotions. We were together, he just wouldn't tell anyone.
Worthless.
I broke even more.
I tried to forgive him.
It was my turn to stand up and walk away.
I did.
---

And now it's been a week and I found out I'm pregnant. He knows this, and I'm pretty sure he wants to get back together because of it, and because he says he wants to be with me because it was a mistake to break it off.

A couple days later, I figured out he deleted every picture of me and us off of his facebook (he says he didn't do it), like the 11 months we were together didn't exist, I didn't exist and I could be erased that easily.

So I took him out, between college classes, and we fell back into the routine. He made me laugh, smile, even looked me dead in the eyes and said he wanted me back. Well it's a little embarrassing seeing as his mother is his friend on facebook and probably saw everything erased of us. Still, I was considering it.

I went to drop him back off at College, and I sat there in my car asking him if he had flirted with any girls. He said no. So I said, alright... Well let me see your phone (I honestly wasn't snooping, I just wondered if he still had pictures of us in his photo album. He did.)

Right then a girl messaged him and it opened up, and I know I shouldn't of read any of it, but I did. Shame on me. IT WAS ON FACEBOOK CHAT. It went like this:

Him: Hey
Her: Hey
Him: How are you?
Her: Didn't you just break up with your girlfriend?
Him: How do you know I had a girl?
Her: Look I don't have time for this nonsense.
Him: Do you want to get to know me?
Her: Go sit in front of a TV with a tub of icecream.

And that was it. I told him to get his shit and get out of my car. Generally, if you want someone back, you don't go around flirting?

He texted me saying he was sorry, that it was just a question. I was pissed, he sat there and acted like I didn't even exist, talking to other girls. How serious was he about getting back together, because HE was the one who suggested it. Turns out that wasn't the only girl he had been talking to.

He then turned it on me saying, "I thought we were done and you were talking to other guys, that's why I did it."

No, actually I don't play with peoples emotions. I hadn't talked to any guys. I wouldn't of anyways, but the fact that I'm pregnant and knew he needed to be there in this childs life, pushed me even further to try and make it work out.

I'm so confused!

FALLENSPAWN

October 21, 2013 @ (the AMERICAS (NORTH))

Tags: It was interesting

I had left work due to medical reasons and shortly afterwards I was rushed into ICU for heart complications, and multi-organ failure. Meanwhile my girlfriend at the time was fired from her job and unannounced to myself left the country all together. Weeks in ICU attempting to contact her to finally receive the message "It was nice to know you, I have no need in that country anymore" hangup. Meanwhile here I am on my deathbed pretty much going wth ...