Searching for "feelings"

154 Results For 'feelings'

Henry

February 28, 2014 @ (Kerman, CA)

So I'm a guy, and I was in a gay relationship for 1 year and 8 months. It was like the perfect relationship, and I was so in love. It was my first time in a relationship and it started May of 2012 up until now. There were never really any signs that their was something wrong with us. We were always happy and loving to each other. When he moved to another state communication was hard. It was Arkansas, and I was in California. He was planning on staying over there and not coming back, but he only stayed there for only about a month because he feel into a depression and came back to be with me. We were good up until there was problems with his family and him, this was in December 2013. One day he took me to the place where we first fell for each other and told me he's going to have to move back to Arkansas because he can't take the drama here. I was sad knowing he was going to leave back again. Then when the day came on January 3 2014, he was packing all his stuff and was getting ready to leave. I told him to be with me in his room alone, and surprised him with a new cell phone so we could contact each other. He cried a lot and said thank you so much, you know my family would've never done this for me. The he hugged me for a long time crying. When he left i felt depressed, knowing he might just stay over there this time. A month later he facetimed me for the first time and we where so happy to see each other, we would text each other through facebook daily and that kept my calm. A week before valentines day i sent him a card that I personally made with all are pictures on it... Then he called two days later like normally but I screwed up the conversation. I got awkward about a topic and I wasn't talking the whole time on the phone. Then he suddenly hung up. I called him back and told him, you hung up.. And he said, yeah I did.. I said, are you made at me.. He said well what do u think, you know I hate it when you don't say anything on the phone.. So I asked, do u still want to talk to me?.. He said, not really.. I said, ok I'm sorry i really am.. He said, it's ok I'm over it already.. I'll talk to you tomorrow. The next day I got a msg from him.. It hurt me. He said, ok, yesterday u left me thinking on how long Ive been without you and managed to be fine. So I'm sorry, I don't love you anymore and before you start with that no i can do better stuff just think and be an adult. Your a great guy with a lot of love and the person who loves u is lucky, but I don't love u. I have to put my own goals first. So yeah I guess this is goodbye. It's over. I was so sad and couldn't think right.. I was left with no talk from him in a few days, we talked but it was nothing like we would normally talk to each other.. Then a week passed with no talking, and then yesterday the 27 of February, his best friend from here came to my house to facetime him, I let them talk by themselves but I called his friend over to talk to me real quick. I told here to put the earphones on but don't plug them in.. He told her to put in earphones so nobody would hear what he was about to say. So she put them on but didn't plug them in and I was secretly on the side of her, but he didn't know. He said to her through facetime, ok, I don't have a lot of time but that guy me and josh we broke up. He was pulling that whole act that Henry did and i was like been there done that, I don't know what we are, I think we're just friends but now I'll stick to school I guess. But when I'm 18, I'll try a few dates every now and then....... After I heard that whole thing I was heart broken. To know that he dated someone 3 days after we broke up made me feel like shit, I felt like I didn't matter i felt like I was nothing. How can u go into a relationship real quick after breaking up a almost 2 year relationship.. I doesn't make sense, his friend told him a heard everything and he was like in shock because he didn't want me to know. I talked to him later that day just us two. I asked him if that whole time that we facetimed and before when he was crying and about to move.. If he still loved? me that whole time. He said no, he had no feelings for me and he was just being nice and didn't know how to break it to me. So we just ended it for good and that was that. I feel betrayed, lost, confused, depressed.. I don't know how I'll get over my first love, my everything. I built a foundation for us, only for me having to take it down... It's hard. We have had so many loving memories in my home town it's hard not to think about it.. I go to the place where we felt for each other, it hurts. But I feel close to him when I'm there. I still love him. I can't hate him because he showed me many things in life, basically helped me out A LOT. But i do hate his poor choices and the people that might of influenced him to go in a relationship after ours. I thank and love him for being there when I needed him there, he's my best friend and the only person that gets me like no one else. He told me we can't be friends because I still have feelings for him. He said once i loose those feelings and find someone else, we can be friends. I probably won't hear from him in a long time because he's deactivating everything he's on, like Facebook.etc. if i do find someone else, I'll probably have feelings for him still.. And would have to lie that I don't. I don't know how to manage now.. It's really hard to deal with and I find myself crying constantly. The term that I always used,(Always

Chris

February 20, 2014 @ (england)

Tags: bad breakup, sad, confusing, emotional,

My relationship lasted just shy of 3 years, what would have been our 3 year anniversary was feb 4th, when we first got together I told her I was joining the army, she knew this was coming we were together for 5 months before I left for basic training, but we called every night and everytime we got together was amazing, I then got posted to a working unit at around our 2 year point, she was happier because I was home near every weekend then she decided she wanted more out of life and wanted to go to uni, which I fully supported, she was there for her first term of 3 months, so for 3 months It was never a good time to see her, I was either duty on weekend or she had an assignment needed doing without distraction, so the time came, Christmas leave 2013 I was so excited, and there was no clues or indication the breakup was coming, we were both still messaging each other as much as usual, planning Christmas all of that, finally got off the bus and saw her, I was soo happy I couldn't stop kissing and hugging her, she was a little off with me all day, that night I said "we're ok aren't we?" Then it was silent and she sat up in the bed, my heart was pounding I was terrified that everything we had together was about to end, she said "I think we should break up" her reasoning was good enough, we both are going through different things in our lives and currently want different things, she's 20 and I'm 21 and we were planning our whole lives together, she said she can't be dealing with the stress of never knowing when the next time we'll see each other is going to beï»¿.
It's been 2 months and a bit since, Iv deleted her Facebook and all her friends and family, I've stopped talking to her and focused on my own life, but admittedly, it's been the hardest thing I've ever had to do, Iv contacted her every now and then a hurtled my feelings at her (but not recently), I'v had nightmares about her being happier with other men and Iv had suicidal thoughts, Iv wanted so desperately to find out every single thing I could about why we ended but it did me no favors, in the end everytime I talk to her I push her further away and for a while that was what made me want to end my life, I'm not having those thoughts anymore and I'm sticking to this no contact thing, but it is hard, I unblocked her just to see how she's doing and she seems really happy, she then quickly blocked me. She did say "maybe we'll pick it up again one day when our situations change, but right now I need time for my course and my life"
Im not over her but I'm not crying about her anymore at least, I'm defiantly progressing, although I'm worried because I don't want to be with any other girl and I'm craving that feeling againï»¿ but that comes and goes.
lately since cutting all contact ive been getting better, and now i see more clearly that this isnt the end of the world

Brandon

February 10, 2014 @ (Portland, OR)

Tags: worst breakup, jerk, idiot, heart breaker, regretful

So, I had been dating this girl for about six months with a two month break in between, let's call her "Jackie". It was when we got back together I realized that things weren't going to work. She said that we just need to communicate more, but it never happened, we always just sat in awkward silence until one of us had to leave.
Before we get to the actual break-up, I want to do a little back-story. So a few years back my friends introduced me to this girl, not the one I broke up with, let's call her "Amanda." Amanda was a nice girl from the very start, She invited me to all her parties, and helped me out with my homework and essays. She was funny, she would often make fun of my now best friend, "Franklin," which I found hilarious. She was also super smart, she had one of the highest GPAs in the school, and passed even the most advanced classes. And I swear she is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, and to this day I am deeply in love with her. Unfortunately, when I told her about my feelings, she dropped the F-Bomb on me. Yep, that was my first ever "friend-zone." I was crushed, I never felt so terrible in my life. But I stayed adamant, and year after year I would ask her, and year after year she denied me. I realize that she can make whatever choice she wants, but I couldn't help but to want to be with her. I guess she must have gotten tired of me asking, because after the fourth confession, she suggested I go out with Jackie, whom I had met a month earlier. I knew she had a thing for me, and Amanda said we would be cute together. I don't know why, but the words "cute together" hit me really hard. Just the thought of being with someone other than her felt wrong. Things did go wrong eventually, I guess that's what happens when you go out with someone because the love of your life asks you to. I probably should have seen that coming. After dancing with Jackie at one of the parties, I became infatuated with her. I asked her out on a date, and she of course said yes. Now I had never gone out on a date before so I didn't know exactly what to do. And no one told me that movie dates are the worst first date you could go on. We sat in the theater eating our popcorn, eyes glued to the screen, not even looking at each other; the first of many awkward experiences. The worst part was that Amanda offered to drive us around since neither I or Jackie bothered to learn how to. Amanda couldn't have been more happy to see me going out with another girl, which I understand is something friends do, but when that friend has recently broken your heart, it kinda stings a little.
Fast forward four months. Now at this point we've decided to break things off for a while. Jackie has started dating this guy, let's call him "Matt." I had no problem with Jackie dating Matt, in fact I was happy that she found someone she could actually talk to. Matt and I are also good friends so, I was happy for both of them. Now with no one to distract my feelings, I began to feel old emotions rising again, I would often hang out with Amanda like we used to, but not in a way that would give any hints, just talking, and study sessions. I should have realized then that this was what it was meant to be like. Being single wasn't a bad thing, in fact I love being single. It makes you appreciate all the free time you once had to hang out with friends and get work done. This didn't last very long, because Jackie and Matt eventually broke up. I never got the exact details of why or how, but I do know that Jackie broke up with Matt, because she realized that she still loved me even though she was the one who broke up with me for Matt in the first place. Matt explained to me that he cared for her, and he wanted to see her happy, and that I should take her back. And I, being the stupid confused kid at the time, said "of course." And so, we began dating each other once more. The rekindled infatuation didn't last long, and I realized about a month in that things weren't going to work. Now came the biggest problem, how to break it to her. Now, just because I wasn't in love with Jackie doesn't mean I didn't care about her. She was genuinely sweet and innocent, and I couldn't bare to see her sad or upset.
It was only a few weeks later that I built up the courage to tell her, mind you I gave no clue as to how I really felt, in fact I made it seem like everything was just dandy, which in hindsight wasn't the best idea. Of course, when I told her she was really confused. She asked me "Why? Why?" and I said "I'm sorry, I just don't think you're the one for me." At this point her sadness began to turn to anger. Something I had never seen in her before suddenly began to show. She said, "how dare you have the audacity to lead me on for so long. You know what? Fuck you." The words "fuck you" would have hurt less if she hadn't smiled and started walking away. But as I sat there, ashamed of what I had done, she did the worst thing she could have done to me. She turned back with tears running down her face and said, "I really did love you." And continued walking away. That must have been one of the worst days of my life. Eventually the sadness subsided, and she forgot all about me, which was probably for the best. Not once in our whole relationship did we ever say "I love you" to one another. But if I could go back and change what I did, I would have never gone out with her. I would have never gotten back together with her. I would have never led her on to believe that I loved her. And I would have never broken her heart.

Shabda

February 07, 2014 @ (India)

Tags: bad break ups

Hey!!!
I want to share my story just to ease some pain...You know the worst part is when you have no one around you to share your feelings.....
I am from a typical Indian family.A girl who has always loved her parents more than anything in her life. Wanted to be with them always, take care of them. Infact I had decided that I'm never going to marry anyone ever.So, I never allowed myself to have any soft corner for anyone. I was happy but then someday I got a message from some old batchmate of mine on Facebook. Gradually we started chatting, sharing thoughts, jokes, started talking on phone and literally got addicted to each other. I started considering him as my best friend. He has always been real nice to me, always convinced me that one day I will find someone who will accept myself with all my responsibilities and will respect and love my parents like his own. And then after 6 months the day came when he proposed me. I was already having a hint of this from the past couple of days. I really liked him but had never thought about him like that because we had same gotra (we Indians are prohibited to marry someone with same gotra) . I never wanted to disclose my feelings to him but also didn't want to hurt him with a 'NO', So I told him this all gotra thing and convinced him to just be friends. But with time we just got drifted away and started living in an illusion that something will happen and we will be together in future...Decided that we will convince our parents and will marry with their permission....Started planning our lives together, fully committed, making all the promises to be together till the end, never realizing that they were all just dreams...We were madly, deeply in love. We completely accepted eachother as husband and wife...I was sure of one thing that it was not physical attraction though he was no less than Prince charming...I mean how could it be ...We haven't met each other for the last 7 years...
Time passed....We were so in love... I had never realized that this much love existed on earth. Even the feeling of having him with me made me so comfortable, cozy, relaxed...I felt so complete with him.....I never even required to say what I was feeling,,,we just not needed any words to express each other...
Then one day somehow my parents found out about us....I told them how much I love him and also assured them that I will never do anything without their permission....They were so mad at me...They said straight forward NO just because I being a female was having higher education that him...There was a big emotional drama......I tried my best to convince them but all in vain......And finally asked me to choose between them and him...This was even before I could tell them about gotra thing.....After all this I realized one thing that they are never going to accept us and if I somehow force them to or do something on my own, he will never get the respect he deserves....I love him but I respect him more.....I just can't bear this fact that my family don't respect my husband.....So, I broke up with him...Told him that they think that we will have ego clashes in future....He hates me for this...I know...Infact I hate myself too for this.....I feel so sorry that I couldn'd keep all the promises we made.....Everytime I think about this it feels like something cuts me from inside.....I know in this relationship it was me who was unfair.....It's been long time since we broke up but still every night I silently weep thinking about him...I still love him and miss him so much.....He was my first and last love......I know I will never be able to feel the same way again.....I am all broken.....People says that time heals all the wounds but in my case I feel like this pain is increasing day by day....This regret, this pain is my punishment.....And now I myself don't want to let it go...At least in this way he is with me....I know that I can never have him back but still wait for him forever.....And if some day I got to know about his marriage I will be the first person to be happy for him,,,at least he has moved on....

BigE

January 27, 2014 @ (Washington DC)

Tags: So Bad it's funny

My girlfriend and I were dating for a few months, and things were going really great until I felt pressured to tell her I loved her. I didn't want to be the one to cut things off because she told me about her post breakup anorexia, so I waited, getting more miserable because she never listened to my feelings. One weekend she invited me to her house, which was an ordeal because she didn't include me with her family or friends, and I got into an argument with her. On the way back to college, she broke up with me in front of her mom and sister. I couldn't believe it. She said she thought I needed help and that she couldn't talk it out because she needed to eat lunch with her family, but she contacted my dad and friends to let them know how distraught I was before I could. Later when I asked over Facebook if she would give me a movie ticket I paid for that she was holding for me, she said that she gave it to her stepmom. I proceeded to call her a bitch. Soon after I was greeted by a message from her father saying he called the police. Nothing happened, but during the next week or two, she proceeded to blog about me numerous times after saying she didn't blame me. Once I used the private blog she recommended to me to process things, but she passed my link to all her friends and one of them compared my to the shat out remains of Hitler after reblogging what I thought was a private post. Needless to say we are not on speaking terms.

Hector

December 19, 2013 @ (91324)

Tags: bad break up

My ex and I broke up this year during the summer. We had been together for 2 years ...almost 3. Throughout high school everything was well once we graduated everything went downhill. During the summer my cousin and i went over one night at like 3am it was that night that my ex told me she didnt love me anymore and that she wasnt going to be with someone who she doesnt feel anything for. It wasnt until later on that i found out that she lied.... she didnt lose feelings....she replaced them to make matters worse she cheated on me with my cousin who took me over to her house that one night. My cousin is not only my family but shes my best friends girlfriend and my cousin and my ex are planning on being together.

John

November 14, 2013 @ (New York)

Tags: Bad breakup, emotional, love

My girlfriend I dated for just over a year broke up with me last week. She was my best friend in the entire world. Ever since birth we were best friends, she called me late at night last year and told me some guy was gonna ask her to prom and she couldn't say no but didn't want to go with him. I asked her over the phone. That night we went back to her house and watched movies after the dance. She told me how she was so thankful I asked her and how much fun she had.. And I kissed her.. It was quiet for a while and she hugged me and we cuddled the rest of the night not saying anything. A couple days later I brought her flowers and asked her out. She said yes. We were so happy for the next year, we promised never to stop talking, we hung out all the time, if she needed anything I was there. Then she got some new friends.. We started fighting for the first time in our relationship but we got over it and I loved her even more, but the day after our senior prom she told me she just didn't like me any more. I dont understand but I told her that I loved her one last time and gave her what she wanted. A few days later I realized I couldn't live without her I had gotten drunk for the first time in my life to try to ignore my feelings but nothing worked. I texted her amd told her I missed her... She said she missed me too.. We talked for a few days and I asked to see her again. She didn't respond to my texts or calls for a week. I texted her again a few days ago. I told her I missed her and that we should at least be friends. She said she misses me too. I asked to see her and she hasn't responded. I found out today she has a new boyfriend and she cheated on me for a month with him. But that's not the worst part. The worst part is I still loved her, I always will, and there's nothimg I can do about it

Kate

November 12, 2013 @ (Uew York)

Tags: Breakup, too young, sad

Lost Love
I broke up with my boyfriend two months ago. We were together for 1 year. I only have myself to blame. I knew our relationship wouldnâ€™t work when we first started dating. We lived so far away from each other and we were so immature. It was too serious and we were too young. If I only knew then what I know now.

We would try to see each other every other week. For one year we did this. The bus trip took about six hours. At the time it didnâ€™t matter because I got to see him at the end of the trip. When I finally saw him after those six long hours, I wouldnâ€™t feel a thing. Our relationship was an illusion. We looked so cute in front of people but when we were alone we would always fight. The first six months was fine, but the other half was hell. We fought each night, even when we were not together. He would yell at me over the phone and I would yell back. When I said I didnâ€™t want to do this anymore, he would push me on the bed and just lay on top of me hugging me and I would forget everything. I know he didnâ€™t want me to go but we couldnâ€™t keep on living like this. Things were badâ€¦really bad and something had to change.

One night we finally ended it all.

Oh God, the agony. The pain is unbelievable. Itâ€™s rushing through my body, my veins, my soul. The memories take me back to that place. The night where it all went wrong. I said we couldnâ€™t do this anymore. You said you didnâ€™t want to break up. We had to end it; we couldnâ€™t keep on going like this. We shouted, we cried, we loved, one last time. It all played out so well. My hands in your hair, your name on my lips and your hands on my hips. The warmth of each other kept the room warm. It was love in the atmosphere. We looked at each other; and just like that, it all went away. The love we sheared, fading. The feelings we had, forgotten. The warmth in the room, gone.

The morning after.
I walked you to the stairs. You stood there confusing. I stood right beside you holding your hand. The stairs were hard to walk. I felt like a rock every time I took a step. We stopped at the front door. You looked in to my eyes as you had your hand on the door handle. Your eyes were blank and full of tears just waiting to run down your face. We kissed one last time. I cried as you took your bag and walked out the door. I watched you walk away; you stopped and looked back. I remember those other times youâ€™ve left, you would run back straight away, but this time you didnâ€™t. You just kept on walking. And just like that you were gone.

As I watched you drive away, I felt a raindrop on my skin. It ran down my face; just like the tears in my eyes. The begging of a journey for some people, but an ending of a journey for us.

Now itâ€™s finally over. I regret nothing.

Loser18

October 04, 2013 @ (NY)

Tags: bad break up

I met this girl in my senior year in HS. I really liked her, but i was neing the respectful guy and hide my feelings because she was with someone else. Anyway, we stayed friends for the year and when summer came we lost touch. At my second semester of college, I ran into her and we decided to catch up. While talking to her, i learned that she was single and i got a little excited because i still had feelings for her. so i decided to make it funny that i had a crush on her in HS and she told me she did too. This should have been a warning because she was with someone when she liked me, but i was naive. A little while after that i askerd her out and we started to date. It was great for about a week until i found out from another friend she was atlking to her ex when she previously said she didnt talk to him anymore. I confronted her about it and she admitted it. I then broke up with her, but we still kept in touch. This was my mistake because i decided to give her a second chance. I understood why she was talking to her ex. It was a 2 year relationship and i know that can be hard. So we dated a gain after a mont h after i broke up with her. The relationship lasted a little over 2 months and i found out from another friend that she was sleeping with a younger guy that was still in HS. I didnt want to jump to conclusions, but my friend said that this other guy knew about me and was only in it for the sex. Me and her hadnt had sex yet but that is my fault because i am a virgin. I still refused to believe it, but i went over to her house to confront her and she denied it and i believed it cuz im a moron. Then a few days later, i get a text from her right before im going out with some friends saying that she was breaking up with me because she had too much stuff going on. By this point i was soo done with her shit that i said ok and still wwent out and had a good time. I learned my lesson from that and will never let myself into a relationship lie that again. I am currently talking to this girl and we probably are going to be together soon :) thumbs up

John

September 26, 2013 @ (Hidden)

Tags: Bad Break Up, Heartbreaking

So I've been dating this girl since senior year of high school, and we both had strong feelings for each other. She decides she wants to keep our relationship together long distance as she's staying home in California and I moved all the way out to Chicago for school. I want the same thing, because we both believed we were the one for each other. She told me she loved me every night before I went to sleep and promised to be the best, most loyal girlfriend possible. We stay together, I never even looked at a chick at a bar or anywhere I was on the weekends that showed any interest because I really didn't. I was the definition of loyal. I came home for christmas break, all went well, and then back to Chicago for me before I knew it. We stayed together long distance until I came home in the summer of 2013. She dumped me a week after my birthday in June (which was about a month into me being home for summer) because she felt I was a liar, dishonest, and not loyal. This came out of literally fucking nowhere. Distraught, heartbroken, and every word for "I'm not making it through this" found in the dictionary, I went through 2 weeks of alcohol abuse and couldn't even enjoy the family vacation I went on either. After I got home from my vacation, the next day actually, we got back together because she told me she knew in her heart that I was what she wanted and she really made me believe it. We got back together, stayed together for the next month and a half until I went back to school in Chicago, and after 3 weeks of being here she told me she has no idea what she wants and thinks that I'm absolutely the last thing she needs. She said after I left for school, even looking at my name when I'd text her back made her more and more not want to respond to it at all. And here I am now, in Chicago, stalking her instagram (deleted everything that had to do with me), twitter (posting tweets about another guy), and even tumblr which no man should ever go on as it is. So there ya go, I'm in one shitty situation. Plus her final text to me was "lets see how things go when you're back" and included that she "still wants to be friends and not strangers."