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Pixie

November 25, 2011 @ (United Kingdom)

Tags: confused, hurt, lost, change, embarrassing

We met in September 2010, at a friend's flat party. He whisked me off to the Isle of Skye for three days of surreal relaxation. We didn't even know each other but both wanted an adventure. I was his after that.

The next year was one of the best. Truly, I was so happy. He was my best friend, we spent most of our time together. He wrote me songs, letters, drew me pictures. I visited his family, he met mine, we all got on. Not one person in my life disliked him. We never argued, and he knew me better than anybody else.

However, this September, things changed. He became more interested in University work and University friends. I can understand that completely, we live in different cities, about 40 minutes apart, but he had literally no time for me, and reminded me of that constantly. He told me to put up with it for the next year and a half.

Things exploded and we broke up over the phone. He then phoned me ten times, I ignored, and he turned up at my flat, on the verge of tears, with a letter saying how sorry he is and how he realises now that he was wrong. I told him we both need to take a bit of room to breathe.

A week later, I asked him to meet up for a coffee, expecting him to be in a similar, apologetic mind set, and with hopes we could find a new way forward, things were going to change. Instead, he told me his life is a lot less stressful without me. "It's not that I don't like you" he said, and proceeded to talk about how we should be friends because we get on so well. He showed no emotion whatsoever. I met him at 3 and was waiting for a train home by 20 past 3. He told me about the "cool" parties he's been to with his friends and the nights he has planned, how some girl was nipping his thigh at the last one and being very weird with him.

I didn't show any emotion. I was relentlessly 'nice' because I didn't want him to have all of the power, or anything to hold against me. Now I'm just trying to pick up the pieces.

Anonymous

November 24, 2011 @ (Ohio)

Tags: mom, jealous, hatful, pathetic, envious, loyal, family, breakup, sad, relief

I was with the same person for about 5 years. Just this person only literally. friends started drifting away and it was just us 24/7. i loved the person i was with but their mom i found to be very viscous and evil, not even to me but her one and only daughter. she use to talk about my girl to her friends back home and to family members about my girl private business, use to only call her to gossip, when my girl needed her, usually she was never there only was there, here and there financially. she acted more like a obsessed x girlfriend then a mom. i use to feel like knocking sense into her ass constantly.99 percent of our physical and verbal fights have to do with my girlfriends mom and as wrong as her mom is to her and how hurtful her mom is to my girlfriend she continues to call her and emails her and tells her she loves her regardless of the pathetic wrongful relationship they have. sometimes when we fight about how her mom treats her she says to me that regardless thats her mom and if she really needs her she will be there no matter what. thats why we broke up. because when she needs some money her mom knew eventually she would come back to her and what she did wrong to my girlfriend would be washed away because my girlfriends needed her for money. its emotionally distressful honestly and noone really should be with someone that either dont get along with their mom (in particular) or who wouldnt get along with someones mom because whether they are in your life everyday or not, when they come around it will just be a pain in the ass and you'll just be sitting there looking stupid wondering what the fuck is out there better for you. this is a great website to to let shit out. its hard investing time and love in something that comes with the opposite of what you have to give. not worth it.

Elove

November 19, 2011 @ (Los Angeles )

Tags: break up

lets call him alex. he asked me to be his girlfriend on september 25, 2009. he was sweet, caring, funny, i loved him with all my soul and he would always tell me that he loves me that i was his only one. he would tell me that he wanted to marry me and have children with me someday. he was my happiness, my everything. we went out on the weekends and sometimes on weekdays. since the moment i met his family we got along so well. on january 2010 he was acting sort of distant with me. i wondered what i did wrong. then the last week of that month we were talking on the phone and he told me that he needed a break. that he was stressed out cause of school and football. i cried, i was broken. the next day he texted me and told me that he had actually cheated on me, i didnt believe him. so i talked to a mutual friend we both have and he told me that alex was lying to me that he just told me that he cheated on me so that i can forget bout him. so i acted like i didnt know this with alex. then that same week he had injured his ankle and i went to see him. i knew we had to fix things and i was afraid it was gonna be our last goodbye. but i was wrong. when i got there i saw him sitting on his bed and he told me to sit down next to him. i couldnt look at him so i just stared at his ankle and i had tears in my eyes and he told me he was sorry for what he "did." he touched my arm and i pulled away. i moved a little bit afar from where he was sitting and he moved closer and i wouldnt let him touch me. he then grabbed me and pulled me close to him and he started crying. then i cried. it was so emotional and i knew it wasnt the end. eventually we ended up getting back together and i was happy again. throughout the relationship we often talked about sex and i would tell him how i wanted to wait until marriage. he said he would wait for me. he said he was a virgin too then on february 8 he came over to my house and he said "u know we're gonna be together forever so why not get it over with?" so i gave in. worst mistake ever. we lost our virginity to each other. he then told me that he lied to me bout cheating and that he would never ever do that to me. from there our relationship went back to normal he was so sweet and caring. then came April and things were getting suspicious. the day after my birthday i found out trough my brothers phone that alex liked this other girl lets call her gina. i was broken. that weekend we got into an argument and he said that i still loved my ex he was putting words into my mouth that werent true. i made him tell me who this gina girl was and he ended up telling me that its the girl he likes and that he was confused bout both of us, and that the day of my birthday he had seen her and kissed her. so he said he cheated. i cried that whole day and then that week i went to see him and we acted like nothing happened we later planned our last day together, a week later he came to my house and spent one last day of our relationship with me. he told me then that he wasnt gonna get with gina and that our thing was just a break till he stopped being confused. i believed him, so i left it at that. a week later i find out that he got with her and i was depressed. 2 days after that i did a stupid thing. i got drunk and ended up intoxicated in the hospital. i had more than 100% alcohol in my body and if it wasnt for the paramedics i wouldn't be here telling my story. and i blamed him for what i did. after that i only saw him two times and eventually he cheated on gina with me. one day he told me he wanted to get back with me and that we can keep it low-key. i didnt accept that offer. so forward to November of 2010. gina requested me on FB and we talked. she said they were having problems and idk what. i ended up telling her that he cheated on her with me. she told me that they both lost it to each other and i was like WTF i ended up telling her that it wasnt true cause i lost it to him and well thats when she realized that he is a player and a lier. he would deny the fact that he did it with me but watever we both know he lied. so i'll leave it at that. i loved him so much and i never thought this would happen. its hard for me to trust any guy again. i wish i never met him but then again i dont regret all those amazing moments i shared with him. i still keep his gifts and letters and his shirt. i miss him and i still love him but im willing to move on.

Raven

November 09, 2011 @ (Canada)

Tags: November 9/11

My ex-boyfriend and I where together for 2 1/2 yrs. Everything was great! We we're together all the time, except when we went to work. And still on breaks conversated. Great connection, conversation, companionship, we understood one another. Everyone told us how great we we're as a couple and could see our chemistry. Our loved continued to grow throughout the relationship. We we're bestfriends, soulmates and lover, everything you could ever image and fantasy about having in a relationship.
Last week we broke off. I believe that he's blowing the situation way out of proportion. Here's what happened: He was hanging out with he's friend and than called to see if it would be alright if his friend came over. Everything was cool. He told me he wanted to be closer to me. They arrived, I gave them some space. Their drinking and having a good time hanging out in the back yard, then they came in and It sounds like my guy is being a bully towards his friend, and a fight is about to pop off. So, I ended up going down stairs and his friend looks so sick, like he's dying. So, I bypass my boyfriend and asked his friend if he wants me to gave him a ride home, and I try to joke around and tell him a story that my guy did to me when we had a couple of drinks. Any way from there we had a little argurment. He left with his friend and came back and packed all of his stuff up. I told him he's blowing the whole thing way out of proportion.
I've apologized so much and even to he's friend, he's forgiven me, but he says that I've betrayed our relationship and put a pink elephant in room, when there shouldn't be one. He say he trust me because I never cheated or have done anything else. But he doesn't trust that I have the best judgement for what the relationship should be.
At this time frame he just wants to be friends and told me that I hurt him. I didn't knowly want to do that. I know he loves me the way that I love him. But it's hard to be just friends, when you want so much more. We still talk approx. 5hrs a day, but he chooses not to see me at this time frame. Somedays, I end up crying to him and he tells me that I shouldn't have done what I did. That make me feel even worst. Because I realize the error of my ways and I've lost my bestfriend. The situation is messed up.
A week prior to this arguement was my birthday and he surprized me with a ring and put it on one finger and than surprized me with another for the other hand. I know he's hurt and I'm hurt too. Just don't know what to do.

Anonymous

November 04, 2011 @ (Nevada)

Tags: Sad

The break up was easy. It was the week before we broke up that broke me. He's my best friend...or at least he was. And I've known him for so long, I knew something was wrong. I could feel him slipping away, and then he began lying to me. I'm not sure why the lies started, I'm not really sure where we went wrong. But I confronted him, and told him how I felt. We talked on the phone and he said he was feeling weird, that he didn't know how to explain it, but he told me not to worry. "Hakuna Matata" That's what he always says when I look worried. But I knew he was gone, he didn't even tell me he loved me before we broke up. The next day I caught him in a lie, and he didn't talk to me until the day after. When he finally did I told him how shitty I felt, how hurt I was. Then he told me that the reason he thinks best friends work so well is because "Even if something happens, they can still be best friends" that same night he broke up with me. And here I am, a week later. And guess what? I lost my best friend.

Jess

November 03, 2011 @ (Tx)

Tags: Break up

We started talking after I got out of a really bad relationship. I had some work done to my vehicle so I could make a trip a few hours away to see friends I had been kept from during what seemed like the worst relationship ever. The guy working on my vehicle passed me his number and I was willing to get over my ex so bad that I took the chance with this one. Before we hooked up, I did my research and found out he was engaged. Though I didn't confront him immediately, I had planned to when we decided to see each other outside of his work. I met him at the place he was staying for some sexual tension release after a week of txting. That's when I confronted him about his fiancée. He told me that she hadn't been showing any interest in him and although I felt wrong for agreeing to have sex with him while he was engaged, I took pity. Before we had sex I asked "are you sure you want to do this?" And he said yes. After that, a week later or so he broke up with her and we started dating....
I should have know... it was wrong. They were high school sweethearts and I felt like I was a monster for stopping a love like that but I fell in love with him. I was more than a fool. I was the worst person in the world.
One night after he got out of work, I went over to his house. And broke up with him. This on and off relationship of three months of him going back and forth from me to her was pathetic. I told him me should go back to her.. and that it was stupid for him to be apart from her. They belonged.
I haven't gotten over him. I still love him with all of my heart. But I'm hoping I did the right thing. Even if it cost me my mind and my heart.

AC

October 25, 2011 @ (US)

Tags: indecisive, indecision, flip flop, back and forth

It is apparently over. It feels that way. I have not been able to say the words to her though I think my heart feels it is.

It isn't that I don't love her, its that I am so unsure of what I want for my life that my instincts (or my goddamn brain) won't let me find clarity. Maybe that means I don't love her...I dunno. Or maybe I don't need clarity and I'm just ignoring my instincts which say that this relationship can not work considering the re-evaluation I am undertaking.

I haven't been able to wholeheartedly agree on the direction she would like life to go in...it mostly the children issue. But its not because I'm so against it or worried she isn't good enough to build a life with. I just haven't found a way to say yes or no, to reconcile what I want with what she does so maybe the indecisiveness is my answer.

Even if it means that I change my mind a year from now, I think the answer is "no I can't be what you need and deserve right now." If that's the case and she has a clearer plan for her life, I should let her go so she can find it with someone else. It may be the worst decision of my life and I may regret it but I just can't see a way to put love, attention and energy into this relationship AND try to figure my own shit out.

Part of me feels plain dumb for not having figured myself out at 33, but part of me also doubts that every married with kids person really gave it all as much thought and followed their instincts either. It feels so odd to not inherently agree with the way society goes about relationships, marriage, kids and just maturing in general. Everyone feels like they are on auto-pilot with their life choices. Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better about my indecision.

I think in many ways my spirit is flawed, broken...but not irreparable. I will take the time to ask my heart what it really wants and I will keep asking until it responds....because it will. It wants me to be happy and maybe it doesn't even yet know what it wants but when it does, I will fight for it with all I can. I only have one known chance at living. I've got to try and live as best I can. I hate that I don't know that she could represent living life the best way I can, but if we are done and it was a mistake, it just feels like a mistake I have to make, otherwise I am doomed to create the same indecision and same mistakes time and time again.

Stephanie

October 25, 2011 @ (California)

Tags: Pain, Drifting apart

I met him just over 2 years ago, on my first day at a new high school. I was 15, and he was 16. He was amazing. He was literally my everything. I started failing all my classes, because I was so preoccupied with him. I was so insanely in love with him. Everything was perfect. We were perfect. For a year we were together. He was my best friend. We were so happy together, all the time. Everybody told us how perfect we were for each other. I gave him my virginity, and him me. He was the only person I'd ever loved. And then.. all the sudden things changed. Right around the one year mark, things started crashing down. We realized that soon, high school would be over for him, and he would be leaving. We talked about moving out together when I turned of age, but that brought up the issue of marriage. He didn't want to be married so soon, and he didn't want children. I didn't want to be married then either, but in the future, I did. I also wanted children.. After that, things stopped being amazing. We stopped talking to each other. I mean, we still talked daily, but we never said what needed to be said. After a month of being together simply because it was the easiest option, I ended it. Today, actually. I still love him, with all my heart, but things changed, we both became two completely different people along the way.. Somewhere in the mess off it all I realized that maybe the point in me loving him wasn't for us to be together forever.. Maybe it was to teach me that somethings just aren't meant to be, no matter how much you try and force it.

Talkingator

October 24, 2011 @ (California)

Tags: 1

I met the love of my life 6 years ago, the most perfect guy. We both had gone through a break up so we used to talk everyday, eventually we started dating. We had 6 years of the most perfect relationship, never fought only grew into mature people together. We were always there for each other, even spent a majority of our relationship on two different continents. We come from two different cultures and I guess that was a difference which was minor to us because a big issue for his family. His parents esp his mom wanted me to change in many ways I couldn't and so she pretty much emotionally blackmailed him into marrying a very traditional girl. I'm so heart broken i'm not mad at him because I know first hand how controlling and abusive his mother is. I feel sad for him and I feel sad that two people who are so perfect for each other who brought out the best in each other can't be togeher. I know I have a long road ahead of me, but all i want is just to see him again to be in his arms. I miss the comfort of being in a relationship. I miss my best friend. May he be happy always.

Just The Way You Are

October 11, 2011 @ (CA)

Tags: Example i

It's not really a break up, Im just in desperate need for advice. It all started October last year. I was staying at one of my mums friends houses and her son and I only knew eachother because of our parents work together. He is 17 and a highschool dropout. I'm 15 and still currently doing my studies. That night he went out with a couple of mates. For some peculiar reason I asked him to wake me when he got home. When he did he woke me and we spooned on his bed talking about whatever came to mind. He was so sweet, a side I've never seen from him before. After that experience we never really spoke again. Until about a week ago when I foundmyself in the same position. This time it got sexual. Only he was to big for me, so we didn't end up having sex. He was the first person id engaged with in doing stuff like that. I wasn't his first though. It was kinda strange. I felt so comfortable around him, I could be myself and not be self conscious like I normally am around others, and all my previous boyfriends. After that night we didn't speak again until two nights ago. I layer with him and drew circles on his leg, it was tickling him, and he was so cute. Just before we fell asleep he grabbed my hand and placed it on his crouch. After that he didnt speak to me ever again. I think I've fallen for him, but I can't help to think that he is just in it for the fun and the sexual side of things. I don't think he admires me as a person.he only admires what I can do with my hands. But his the type of person that if he did have feelings for me, he'd never let me know. His quite a big build. But I really want him to know that I love him for who he is, not what he looks like , or what he has achieved. I love him for him. As simple as it gets. His friends are complete drop kicks. And he values what they think. I have a feeling that's why his holding back. I don't know what to do, and advice would be great?! Thanks xo