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Broken (part 4)

April 21, 2015 @ (toronto)

Three weeks into my still ongoing vacation i get a call from a friend. Says he wasn't in paris with his friends for new years but with his so called ex-wife who is not an ex wife and never was. I feel a flutter of wrongs come back into my stomach. I feel a volcano of emotions. But most of all i feel like puking I puke out everything, the lies, the emotions, the hurt, the champagne, the empty promises, the real promises? I don't know at this point but i keep puking and then i cry. I cry for the lies he has told me and i cry for the two hearts i broke because of him. I cry for the man i let go and i cry for the mistake i have made. I cry for lying to myself and ignoring all the red signs, i cry for believing him, and mostly i cry because i can't and won't let him go. I call him i break up with him. He doesn't run after me and won't run after me. I block him and then unblock him i do this for the next 3 months. once i unblock him i hurl insults at him through Facebook, text messaging, voice messaging. I feel empty so i block him again. I do it again and this time we go back to saying i love yous but then the anger rises in me and i hurl my insult my pain at a screen. So i block him again. I unblock him and so it begins a cycle. I laugh sometimes. My friends stare at me. They used to call me the ice queen now i am the melting queen. I have break downs and melt downs. I can't hurl my anger at him so i hurl it at them whenever they'r ehappy i do it when they're down i do it when they're sad i do it. I don't know myself. The last time i blocked him was 7 days ago today i say its done its over. But deep down i don't know if it is. I love him as a child loves its favourite blanket or as mother loves her unborn child. I love him as if he were the beat of my heart and soul. I feel a physical pain when i see a flash of his smile in my head. I miss him so much that its physically painful to breath. I tell myself it is better to have loved and lost then to have felt no love at all. Then i google and try to find who said that quote and i then i want to find them and murder them. I want to see if they really have loved and lost because anyone who has truly loved. As in loved with their entire soul and finally understood what i would die for you would never ever ever say such a fucking stupid quote. So i go online and i try to find sad break up stories. I find this website but all the stories are about 18 year olds whom portably thing they have found true love. And i think to myself they are only 18 and they don't know what love means. But then i look at myself and i remember i was 18 and i knew love and look where that love has brought me. Which really is nowhere.

Keijo

March 31, 2015 @ (Estonia)

Tags: Horrible break-up, devastated

I met my love of my life about 5-6 years ago but didn't know that back then. We used to chat a lot but somehow this chatting faded. About a year ago we started talking to each other again. For a while it was a normal, everyday friends talk but at one moment I felt that she was the one who was meant for me and I said I had feelings for her. She was kind of shocked but I believe in a good way. This truly was the best feeling in my 19 years. So, eventually we were together and everyday I fell deeper in love. This feeling was undescribable. I genuinely was the happiest man on earth. Everything was great and we were happy. But since we were living quite far from each other things started going not so well. We argued about pointless things, both being extremely stubborn. About 6 months our relationship had ups and downs but it really didn't matter because she was still my little princess and i loved her even more. About 3 weeks ago, we had a horrific quarrel which ended with me saying that she was disgusting. It was said because of the emotion that i had at that time. I had never felt so bad in my life. Honestly, i wanted to kill myself because of that saying. After that she obviously was angry and disappointed in me and she had all the reasons in the world to be mad at me because, after all i was a complete jerk. So i apologized about 100 times. A bit later i thought everything was okay until today. She had been aloof, she didn't talk to me as often as she used to. I thought it was about me... And then the painful reality struck. I asked why is she behaving like that and she told that... When I said that bad thing to her, she was so shooked up, she went to a nightclub, had drinks and one thing led to another.. she kissed another man. And she had held that in her all that time. I was devastated, i didn't know what to do. She was so embarrassed about what she did and didn't want to be with me anymore because of that one mistake. She isn't that type of girl who kisses random guys. She knows it and I know it. I said that i forgive her but it wasn't enough. My heart is broken, shattered to pieces. Since she was my everything, I really don't know how am I gonna live on. I truly hope that she changes her mind and that love against me is stronger than feeling guilty about what was done.
I really love her. I don't know what to do...

Marilu

March 28, 2015 @ (Brazil)

Tags: bad breakup, first love

Started dating this guy in December 2013, and he was the best person I've ever met. I've never felt the things I did when I was around him. He shared his deepest secrets and so did I. I didn't use to believe in love before him, but he managed to make me do it. He said he would never abandon me and I believed it after half a year. He never betrayed me, he never lied to me. The only time he did was when he said he wouldn't give up on me.
I thought things were going great. He even said he loved me that morning, like he always did. But at night he texted and said he needed a time to think. He wanted a break. I asked why and he said it was because of school and as we only saw each other on weekends, he couldn't take it anymore. I cried my eyes out.
Two days after he said we were done, he just didn't want to be with me anymore, but I'm a great person and he still wanted to be friends.
We continued talking like we always did, but now there was pain. I still don't get the point. One day he said he still loved me, the next day he said he didn't know anymore.
Yesterday he asked me out again, and I said yes because I'm desperate to see him again. Today in the morning he cancelled it because he didn't want to.
I can't stop crying. I want him to stop throwing me around like I'm his toy. I want him back so bad. I don't understand.

AngelaLovex

March 09, 2015 @ (South Carolina )

Tags: Lying cheating boyfriend

Ever since I met him he always had me wrapped around his fingers. He played hard to get, and when I got him we had a wonderful relationship the first 7 months we were together. He wanted to know If I would be okay with him having an Instagram. I said I didn't trust people on that site. Soon he would act like I was garbage. I poured my love, heart, and tears into this relationship. He broke up with me and talked to other girls, and when we got back together I tried my hardest to show him I love him. I always caught him talking to online girls and he promised each time he wouldn't break my heart again. He stopped texting, calling, and caring. I found out it was because he was talking to another girl. He lied to her about everything and she took him back. I gave him ANOTHER chance and he still didn't appreciate me. I felt lost and used. I finally had enough and said if you can't treat me right and give me attention, we need to break up. He told me we are done, and the same day he saw me to get his crap from my house I called over and over and his new girlfriend picked up, apparently they were on a date. If she only knew the shit he put me through. She is basic anyways she can have him. I am happy now but I still think what if? But I gave it all I could.

Lynn

March 02, 2015 @ (Amsterdam)

Tags: bad breakup hurt

When you think you know someone but you don't know the person at all.

I think every girl can relate to the fact that your first break up hurts the most, it feels like someone ripped your heart out of your chest. You hope you will never feel this severe pain again but unfortunately I did.

I met this guy online and we had an instant click it was so strange because I never engaged in online dating. After we texted each other a week long we decided we should go on a date. The spark that we had trough social media was even greater in real life. I never believed in something like a soul mate but it seemed like it.

I was living a lie I did not know I was living, we had great times and introduced each other to our parents. He promised me a future and used to say the sweetest things.We were like a power couple ready to build an empire together. After a month he started to change laying in bed with him was like being with someone I didn't know. His kisses where cold and his words where empty .

Right before Christmas he told me he is done with the relationship, apparently his feelings where gone. He told me i was a great girl pretty, smart everything but it was not working. He said sorry 100 times but it was all fake. After a week I snooped on his account and found out he had been speaking with a girl on social media for months. They used to send each other the craziest things and laugh about the fact that he was basically cheating. I was torn and broken it felt like someone took my heart and spit on it as if it was nothing. I could not control my emotions and tears kept rolling. I decided to confront him and he kept saying no until I showed him the evidence. He told me he loves her more than he ever loved me and that he is done with me. I started to question myself, i'm i Ugly, not smart enough to fat. All the sweet things he said kept going trough my mind, was my relationship an act. What hurts the most is that I gave 100% in this relationship and I get threaded like i'm just a fool. This has made me really cold and I'm afraid to love cause the pain that comes with it is unbearable.

Love hurts

Louise

February 26, 2015 @ (UK)

Tags: Bad break up, wierd break up

Okay.. here we go...
Everything was great in my relationship we had been together for 9 months and known each other since we were babies- our mothers used to have play dates!
One Tuesday night, he seems a bit strange. This was wierd, a bit distance, I id never seen him like this ever before and I was going to call him on it but the moment passed. Before he dropped me home he said how he hoped we were going to be together forever and how he never wants to let me go.
The next day - Wednesday I arrange to see him to see if he's ok because the previous evening had made me think.
We go out for a drink, we sit there and he says we should end.
I was stumped!!!
He said we just have to end and he was soo sorry and how this was the hardest thing he's ever done and that he still didn't know if he had done the right thing.....
I was so shocked.
Out of the blue.
This was my first proper relationship, first love and now first break up?!
I managed to hold it together till he dropped me off home (the most awkward car ride I have ever experienced) we hugged in the car, I get inside my house and then totally break down, I cried for hours. No exaggeration.
Well that was a year ago, we still see each other - in the same volunteering program - but haven't said a word to each other.
It was just so wierd. He started going out with this girl in September, they got engaged in December and are getting married in June.
Still wierd though.

Emma

December 14, 2014 @ (L.A)

Tags: bad breakup, bestfriend breakup

so me and this guy were never together officially, but me and him have been friends for 4 years and bestfriends for 2, and so recently we finally confessed to eachother after liking eachother for ages, but because of family reasons we couldn't be together officially until a year later, he promised me everything he made it sound like his love for me was invincible and that he would wait for me and that he will try his best to make it work because obviously we have such a history that this is worth it. or so i thought. not even 2 weeks later he starts hanging out with this other girl and he stopped talking to me and all that, i got really sad but i believed that nothing was going on between them. (this girl is my friend too) so the other day i met up with this girl and i asked her about him (she doesnt know anything about us) she told me things i wish i never heard, and right after i finally was alone we called eachother and he admitted to everything he has done and that he choses her over me. he chose a girl he met for 2 weeks over a girl he knows for 4 years.
guess bestfriend relationships dont last longer, they just hurt more because you're losing a bestfriend and the person you like at the same time.

The Struggle Is Real

November 18, 2014 @ (savannah, missouri)

Tags: #ithurts

we never really dated , he added me on facebook one day and we started talking. no friendship to start with nothing , he told me he was falling for me, and he wanted to be with me , it was like we was together , but we weren't he was mine and i was his , he said everyday , but we never really made it offical , he called me everynight since we started talking , he texted me good mornign every morning we'd talk for hours on the phone without loosing a smile , the way he made me feel when we talked with irreplaceable , he hasn't talked to me in days , and it hurts to think he's givin up on me , considering the fact that he told me he loved me and then up outta no where stops talking to me , i don't wanna assume anything , i dont know if he's done talking to me , if i did something wrong , or if something happened . i havent really been happy since he quit texting and calling ... i haven't been the same , i never really could have guessed this would have happened , things were great , we were going to good . and i feel like everyones givin up on me..

Ren

November 10, 2014 @ (England)

Tags: Bad breakup, cheating, Sad, heartbroken, young, betrayal, boyfriend, depression

I was with my boyfriend for 3 years, roughly. Heâ€™s cheated on me around 7 times, and broken up with me for another girl. He always comes back to me in the end, and of course, I love him so much that I always take him back. This is my first serious relationship and itâ€™s killing me. He was always telling me to change, and made me feel really bad about myself at times. He would also always talk about his exâ€™s in a negative way and call them psychopaths, but now Iâ€™m starting to relies that he did that to them through his manipulation, and I too am falling victim to it. We would break up once every two weeks on average, usually because I would bring something up about him cheating, and he would figure out some way to spin it round on me. Every time we broke up, I felt worthless. Some days I wouldnâ€™t even get out of bed. As soon as we got back together Iâ€™d be happy again and it felt like an instant weight had been lifted off my chest. Until the next break up that is. On Saturday he went to a â€˜friendsâ€™ house and switched his phone off all night. I told him I was done with him, and the next day he text me agreeing that we should end things for good.
I obviously begged him to stay and told him that I didnâ€™t mean what I said but he hasnâ€™t replied and won't answer his phone. I know I canâ€™t keep going through this as it is making me so depressed. But I canâ€™t stand to be away from him. I donâ€™t know if this really is the final break up. I just donâ€™t know what to do anymore.

Denise

July 03, 2014 @ (Atlanta, GA)

Tags: #bad breakup #jerk #heartbreaker #immature #coward

Basically, I was dating this guy for a year. We gave our virginity to each other. We said "I love you". (We were in college btw...I'm 23) We met each other's family. We were both each other's most serious relationship. He acted like he was head over heels in love with me....he would say it and show it. Anyway, we were serious......then he breaks up with me.....doesn't really give me a reason.....Oh! and he does it while we are at my parents' house during Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays....I had to drive him back to the apartment to get his things. He leaves. I never heard from him again. My friends (who were his friends too......oh he basically broke up with them as well) tried to ask him to give me more explanation or something because I wasn't handling it well.....and he said, "She can mess up her life is she wants. It's not my problem". He's now in a relationship with a new girl. And you may ask, is this a habit of his? Well, he has had a decent number of girlfriends before. I'm the only one he has done this to. There are sooooo many more details involved in this story, but I'm sparing y'all from them. So yeah.....that happened to me.