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Ktlou9317

July 05, 2011 @ (Semmes, AL!)

So me and this guy had been dating almost two years and he is on the poorer side but i didnt care i "loved" him and he "loved" me so i would go get him take him home (30+ mins) and then we'd go out to eat, I'd pay, and then we would go back to my house and chill. Sometimes we'd hang out with friends but I would still have to get, pay, and things like that for him, but i didn't mind because he promised he loved me and one day i'd never have to pay for him ever again and money is just an object to me anyways so i did so lovingly until about three months ago i started asking him if he could meet 10 mins down the road or drive over because i felt to stressed because every fight started being about me not doing enough for him and i asked him to meet me half way. He started acting rude towards me like he changed he acted like he didn't care about me anymore then i told him if this was going to last he would have to meet me somewhere or drive over because i can't go all the way out there, just to make a point i do everything, and he told me why stay together because he wouldn't do that. so we took a break, and i ended ending it. Well it's been a month since the two year break up and he has a new girlfriend. and i feel used, and left for someone new because i've been thinking about how he acted towards the end he stopped caring, about me and was very weird when it came to his phone. so now, i feel like i shouldn't have let him in, i should have kept my walls up, i should have said "no" to everything we did because i can NEVER get that back and now. i just can't even imagine her saying his name, hold his hand, replacing me. so this is my first break up. and it really honestly sucks.

Mara

June 20, 2011 @ (VA)

Tags: bad boys, jerks, psychos

I knew from day 1 that the relationship was a bad idea. He was dating 3 girls at once, and told everyone at our job about it. Maybe I got involved just because I knew it wouldn't work, as I had recently broken up with someone I really loved, due to unfortunate circumstances. Maybe I just wanted to believe I was special enough to change him. Unsurprisingly, it was the same old story over again.

He was bad news. Carried a gun around, had an awful temper, thought he was some kind of gangster because he came from a city, even though he was now living in a rural area. Was drunk or high more or less constantly. When I found out he was cheating on me, I still hit him in the face. He tried to smash a computer monitor through my windshield and threatened to kill me and bury me in the woods for telling the other girl about what was going on. By the look on his face, which I will probably never forget, I believed him. I stayed with friends until he skipped town to go back to where he came from; I felt happily purged of my desire to see why girls dated bad boy types. He tried to call me for almost a year, after that, and left me all kinds of messages, both hateful and apologetic, all of which I ignored, until I finally changed my number, and that was the end of that.

Kay

May 21, 2011 @ (San Diego)

Tags: example1, example2

We were together two and a half years, living together for one and a half of that, and while we had our challenges we loved and enjoyed each other and had planned a life together. We lived as a married couple and a ring had been picked out at his request. We planned trips and planned for a family, but we also enjoyed each other in the moment. I felt very loved, wanted and supported. The challenges were lifestyle issues. He was still a party boy and surrounded himself with party people. When I say party boy I mean that I would classify him and his friends as having drinking problems. I didn't really know the extent of partying until we moved in together. One of my parents is an alcoholic/drug addict so I started to be "triggered" constantly by their behavior and it reached a point of constant anxiety for me and caused major issues in the relationship. I could go on and on about the positives and negatives about this relationship and how the break-up came about and how wronged I felt, but I just don't have the energy. Anyway, at the time of the break-up I was unemployeed (had quit my job at his request two months earlier) so I found myself financially dependant on him, living in his house and with a broken heart. He said I was the love of his life, but that we weren't working and sometimes love isn't enough. If I hadn't been so blindsided by the break-up I probably would have agreed with him. It was horrible how he kept trying to emotionally support me through the break-up. He hugged me, cried, told me he loved me and that we would get through it together. I was losing a part of me and he didn't understand that he couldn't help me get over him. I spent a week in a haze and then went to work on getting my life together so that I could move out. Within a month I found a job and a place to live (which he had to cosign the lease for and pay the first months rent on because I hadn't started my job yet. It was so hard to have to ask him for anything.) So here I am now knowing that it was for the best but still aching with reminders and the "what will never be's". I want to let him go and move on, but it's just so hard.

Jayleen

May 17, 2011 @ (e.c)

Tags: idk?

hi my name is jayleen and im 13 years old and this is how the it all happened:last year (2010) a boy named carlos wanted to be my friend and then after a while when we started to get to know eachother more , he asked me out 3 times just for me to say yes ; and one day on april 27,2010 we were talking over the phone and i was talking and then out of nowhere he cut me off and asked me out and then i said i dont know i have to think about it because you know that i have no feelings for you in that way and then and then he said aww okay i guess and then i said dont be sad just text me or call me tomorrow and i will tell you my answer and then he said okay and thats when we had hung up and then the next day,while i was at school,he texted me and the text said "hey this is carlos so whats your answer"and then i said my answer is yes and then he said he loved me and then i said i love you too and then after a while later (days,weeks)thats when i really started to fall hard for him and then so 2 months had passed and we got into an arguement and i got to that point where i was really mad and just blew up and started saying things that i didnt mean and then i said "its over im done with you carlos!!"and then he said okay and then thats when i finally realized what i have done and then i started crying my heart out! and i was crying so much and bad that i couldnt breathe and cried myself to sleep and then the next night,he texted me saying"are we really over?"i texted him back saying yes why? and then he said oh okay because im gonna ask out your best friend and then i said who is my best friend and then he said winoska and when he said that,that really hurt me more than me breaking up with him and i started crying so much and bad that my heart broke into a billion pieces! and even though he wasnt my first boyfriend,he was the first boy i ever loved and cried for and i never knew what love was until i met him i was 12 years old in the 5th grade until i knew what love was and that was because he showed me what love was and he proved to me that he was different from the other boys i ever dated and everyday since we broke up,(july 11,2010)i cry myself to sleep until this very day and i regret ever leaving him but i didnt know that i needed him until i left him! and i have full experience on what love is that i learned from a very young age and when i tell people this story,they cried

Sillygirl

May 15, 2011 @ (San Diego)

Tags: 1

Well day five without speaking with him, I feel a bit lost and miss him a lot. I am not sure where this will go. I believe I am holding on to lost hope and need to tell a new story. Maybe I will YAY

Lynette

May 14, 2011 @ (Los Angeles)

Tags: Liar

18 months of my life that I can't get back. Funny thing is that when we were together, everything seemed wonderful. He was loving, attentive, and sweet. It was the first time since my painful divorce that I let myself really trust and fall in love. What a mistake!

He told me that he was divorced. He said he was living in his friend's guest house- even took me there! Of course, he wasn't. They were all lies. You know where this is going.... Abruptly, his wife calls me. I guess that one day he called my office on their house phone and she got suspicious. I eventually found out that he bought a separate cell phone just to call me so that his wife wouldn't find out. Anyhow, his wife and I had an interesting conversation on the phone. She actually seemed to be a genuinely nice person- I feel sorry for her. I was also really upset that I unknowingly caused her so much pain- having also experienced a cheating spouse before.

Aparently, he had been lying to me all along, and had cheated on her before. He was still living with his wife. And lying to both of us, using me. When he finally did call me, it was to simply tell me (with a flat affect like he was ordering a pizza)that he was going back to his wife and he asked me not to call her (too late, she called me first) because otherwise, I would be the one responsible for breaking up their family if I spoke with her. Unbelievable! He tried to place the blame on me! And he was afraid that I would tell her what he had been up to. WOW.

Glad I found this out though, imagine if his wife had really left him/divorced him? Now I think that all I was to him was his backup plan in case she did leave. And he probably would have turned around and done the same thing to me later- cheated. Still really angry though. Angry that someone could be so cold hearted and just blatenly lie. Not sure I can trust again now.

Jeanice

May 13, 2011 @ (San Diego)

Tags: 1

This is the second day of a breakup cleanse that I am doing. Yesterday I did not feel as sad as I am feeling today. I feel silly because this guy and I had only gone out for three months and it seems silly to feel so sad. I am 43 and Honestly this is the First time I fell in love. I just felt deeply connected with him and the moment we sat and talked I knew I loved him. It was the strangest feeling I had ever had. It was something deep down within. Also the more I was with him the more I felt as if I was falling in love. Since it was the first time maybe it wasn't supposed to work out I don't know. I know that from our first date he did as I said in my previous post(yesterday) he spoke a lot about his ex. OMINOUS Warning I failed to heed FOR SURE. I know for the future I will run so fast if I see the guy is unavailable. Yet I see with all of the intimacy problems I had had, hence being 43 and NEVER having been in love, there were DEFINITE issues. I see that in many ways he was safe for me to fall in love with. He was amazing with me, and I really do feel that he did care deeply for me. I also got to find out that the feeling of falling in love happened within ME !!! Which is so great because I know it is not all HIM so if he leaves the scene I can still have that LOVE feeling within me. YIPPPPPEEEEEEE for that. I also know that because I love him as much as I feel I do he can be a great friend. I must admit I am still having hopes that it can work out. I will let him go as the saying goes (I am paraphrasing) If you love something set it free if it comes back to you it was yours if it doesn't it never was AAAAHHHHHHH I have tried in the past to hold so tightly to things and it always has caused so much pain. I just want to fall in love and get married, to have a lifelong partner. SO there I am !!!!

Jeanice

May 13, 2011 @ (San Diego )

Tags: 1

Well I am still in a space of hoping against hope we will not have to break up. I am on the edge, knowing that where we were heading was not working and he has put the brakes on. I want to make it all about him because I do not want to look within me to see that there were definitely things that were not working for me i.e. He still has a lot of anger towards his ex (thin line between love and hate) and he is very gun shy to move forward with me, hence he is probably not finished with his last gal, nothing truly available for me. We do not have tons in common, and he does not have his financial life together at ALL !!! He is pretty immature also. Yet there is this amazing connection we have. OH GOD I can see how I am hanging on to a thread hoping hoping hoping it can change. I know even if there is a chance for the future. What is now needs to be over. DAMNIT !!!! I do not want to freaking admit this. So for today I am going to release the relationship that was. Do a ritual to let him go release him from my energy. What will happen will happen

Golden614

May 06, 2011 @ (AZ)

Tags: love1

We had been together for three years. Three happy years. We laughed all the time, went places together, shared dreams and thoughts. Had awesome debates. We didn't always see eye to eye, obviously, but when we argued it was productive. There was compromise on both parts and I FELT so loved and so lucky. I looked at other people's relationships and couldn't understand all the drama and strife. We worked through our problems and were steadily making progress and both happily moving forward in our relationship. So much laughter and joy, any issue was rare because we got along so well. And then about a week before it happened, maybe two, I noticed he was very distant. I chalked it up to work stress and so many other things. I didn't push, thinking he would talk about it when he was ready. I know how I feel when I get the blues, I don't want everyone pushing me and asking me what's wrong, ad nauseum. He called me one day while he knew I was at work and gave me the dreaded line, "We need to talk." He said he didn't love me. He wasn't looking for "the one." We weren't compatible, etc etc etc. This from the man who only a week before had purchased a trip over seas with me and was talking about our future and telling me how special I was, I mean I literally had the wind knocked out of me. Now he says he wants to be friends. I love him but I'm not stupid. I don't want to be with someone who could flip on me so quickly, who would lead me on for three years, someone who apparently doesn't love me. But, my heart just can't seem to catch up with my brain. I see that he had an attack of commitment-phobia. But, how can it be true that he would stay with me for so long, that we could both be SO happy and he doesn't love me? I am having trouble moving on because I just can't wrap my head around it. And this whole, "We can still be friends," mess. Yeah, right. That has to some selfish ploy to alleviate his guilt feelings. And he tells me things like, "People break up all the time." "People change." It seems like the only thing that changed was how he acted toward me. And people do break up all the time, but so suddenly? So arbitrarily? He said he has never been with anyone as long as he has been with me and that no one was so immersed in his life, that he had never been so close with anyone else. Ever. He still wants me to be a part of his life. But he doesn't love me? He has loved other girlfriends, but not me? I'm lost. I just don't get it.

I.C.B/RB

April 26, 2011 @ (australia, brisbane)

Tags: example1

This story is very similar to most stories here but only me to blame for the way i feel. me and my ex been dating for 6 months but known each other for a year. i let her go knowning i would never get her back, i loved the first moment i met her and to be honest i will love her for a long time to come.

it started about a month ago we kept arguing over noting constently and after so many break ups we would get back together no matter what, simply cause we would fight and argue till we solve the issue. last night it was me arguing and trying to solve the problem, it was then i realised her love for me has died