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Johnny

November 24, 2009 @ (Horsham)

Tags: crack, hemorrhoids


One night, my 21 year old ex-girlfriend let me hang out and drink with the boys so she could go hang out with her "girls". After not hearing from her for 3 days, she called asking me to pick her up from a strange apartment 15 miles away from our place. It turns out, she went on a wild crack-cocaine binge and then took a bunch of xanax to help herself sleep and was out of touch for days. Being overwhelmed with the discovery of her newly discovered addiction and possible infidelity, I punched and kicked our bedroom door until it was broken into splinters. Unphased by the violent outburst, she pulled down her pants in the bathroom, bent over weeping and asked if I thought she had hemorrhoids.

I assume she got them from being constipated from all the drugs; Her mom picked her up later that afternoon.


       

Logar

November 24, 2009 @ (colorado)

Tags: paris, poem, rhyme


I went to paris with my girlfriend of one year
To stay for four weeks in the city of love
But after three weeks it became very clear
The love that we had was not the kind they were speaking of
We fought all the time on the stupidest of things
Each second was one that I wanted to escape
Her control of me made me want to scream
And the love of her became something I couldn't take
So after one fight about cutting my hair
It came out that I couldn't take anymore
And after tears and pain I could hardly bear
Our tumultuous love turned into war
The last week was filled with fights and tears
I spent 1500 dollars on hotel rooms
And at the peak of the fights when the end of the trip appeared
We had to spend 8 hours on the plane sitting next to each other
Worst day of my entire life


       

Michael

November 22, 2009 @ (Oregon)

Tags: dc, sucks, breakups


I was out with my friends, having a guys night. she was supposed to be study for a huge exam on the next coming monday, she wasn't going out. there's just 1 major street in our town and not too many bars. you can't really avoid people here. it was around midnight then i saw her in a bar across the street. first i was pissed because she didn't even let me know she was coming out. then! i saw her getting pretty cozy with some dude at the bar. i wanted to flip out but i didn't yet. i let it go some, they ended up kissing. I stormed over across the street, got a pint and dumped it on her. told her to piss off and i was done with her. two bouncers grabbed me and threw me onto the street, trying to brace myself from the pavement, i threw out my shoulder. Karma? eh, she needed it.


       

Breaking Up

November 13, 2009 @ (heartbreak)

Tags: North Car.


I had been dating the same girl since high school. we went to the same college together and i proposed to her and we moved down here to north carolina. it's almost story book. its roughly 1 month to us getting married. she sits me down to talk and proceeds to tell me that she's been cheating on me for the past 2 years. She felt that she needed to tell me. how nice of her! i was completely devastated. i mean it feel like my heart was ripped out of my chest. i've never felt so much pain. i could feel the heart thumping in my chest and my mind was racing. i never realized that breaking up with someone could feel so horrible. needless to say that I broke it off and we're not getting married let alone still together. Here I am, starting a new chapter. Yes, it was a horrible breakup, breaking up sucks.


       

Ironic?

November 12, 2009 @ (Canada)

Tags: cheating


So my ex always wanted to learn spanish. So for our 1 year I bought her everything she needed the translation books, the software. I put her in a spanish class, and even I booked a trip to Mexico for the two of us. About a month later I was hanging out with some friends at our local watering hole (which happened to across from the adult learning centre where she was taking her classes) having a smoke, when in the distance I see her come out of the centre with a guy, get in a car and drive away. When i asked her about it the next day she proceeded to tell me he was only her Mexican spanish partner and not worry about it. Now I gave her the benefit of the doubt, up until later that day when running out to get a coffee i put on my hoodie (which like 9/10 girls in the world she felt the need to wear whenever she pleased) reached in the pocket and found a paper with a conversation between them discussing them sleeping together. Needless to say my buddy and I had a great time in Mexico sitting by the swim-up bar all day for 2 weeks staring at all the little bikinis.


       

Keeper Of The Corgis

November 11, 2009 @ (Pittsburgh area)

Tags: drunk dial


I first met this ex online while I was out of action. I was sick and had to stay in the hospital for some time when we first started talking. Anyway, while I was recovering, she drunk dialed me and accused me of not having the "testicular fortitude" to meet her. At which point I pointed out I still had stitches and a JP tube in my abdomen. I let that one go, as I didn't know what she was like while drunk and she apologized up and down afterword. So we were going out for over 2 years and even discussed getting married (I even bought an engagement ring, but I'll get in to that later). So here I'm working full time, going to school full time and I have another health problem pop up and need another surgery. As soon as I regained my senses after the surgery, I called her to tell her I was OK (a little irrelevant but I'll explain later). So we went out one night when I had recovered and she told me she wasn't happy and accused me of not making time for her. Keep in mind I just recovered from surgery, was working full time and attending class full time, and I admit I'm not the best academic so I take longer then normal to study. So I thought we had worked that problem out, and I had thought it was time to pop the big question. I got a ring, and had planned when to propose and all that good stuff. My birthday had came up and we had plans.....key word is had here. She blew off my birthday (her parents got me a gift, but she did squat) and it seemed like she was trying to get rid of me ASAP. Also before the sh*t hit the fan, her and a friend went out of town, and her friend drunk dialed me, pretty much telling me my then girlfriend thought I was boring. I needless to say was quite offended, and we were going to meet when she got home. Oh wait, were supposed to......until she stood me up and didn't even call to tell me there was a change in plans. Back to our dilemma.... so low and behold, she comes up with this brilliant idea to spend some time apart. During this stretch I wasn't in the best form of mind....A cat of mine for 14 years had to be put down, I broke my wrist in an accident, and the Redwings lost game 7. So she uses this opportunity to bury me about how horrible I am. Then the cherry on top comes on the day I was going to ask the question, she thinks I'm going to forget everything and be her friend. Well.....maybe after I lobotomize myself


       

Missmadam

November 10, 2009 @ (Europe)

Tags: Breakup


Met D at a club he lived 4 hours away.Lucky for me he had family in my part of town.

We met up and I decided to see him in his condo. All went soo well he laughed talked loved it was good.

He came to see my at my place went well after 10 months saidhe wanted to move to my part oftown (with his family) to look for work.

He came for 1 week what a disaster he seemed to want to be babied looked after a lot.even got cash from me to buy beer and cigarettes!

Then told me he did not have any breakfast one day as there was no bread! Reamed himout and told him he knew where the store waswhy didn't he get the bread IF he wanted some.

What was the icing on the cake was he wentto see his mom and at that point had stopped talking to me for 24 hours.when he came back all leanand happy with him self he expected me to roll over and be happy!!

Put him straight he left next day we had a talk nothing resolved andhave not sen him for 2 years.he called once but itwas not productive blamed all on me.

So good luck to his next patsy as I never got my cash back.


       

Ryan

November 07, 2009 @ (Penn State)

Tags: breakup


Just got dumped because she doesn't like my family. 1 year in is that really a main factor? lots of people don't get along with the inlaws... there must have been something under the surface.


       

Nate

November 06, 2009 @ (North Dakota)

Tags: example 1


My girlfriend called me this morning at about 2:30 am after a night out with her girlfriends. She called to tell me that we had to break up because she was about to sleep with someone from the bar and didn't want to be labeled a "cheater". FML.


       

Lily

November 06, 2009 @ (Phoenix)

Tags: Phoenix


Josh and I hit the 1 year mark. we had been living in separate places, but I pretty much lived with him. we had a talk and we thought it would be best to move in together. my places was bigger than his so that was the winner. He moved in and things were cool for the first few months. I don't know if he stayed getting commitment issues or what, but he just started flipping out. He'd come home from work and he was mad. nothing really could Cheer him up. I'm not sure if he thought i was expecting to get married or what. it was more like roomies + benefits. worked out well for everyone. he took a swing at me the other day, that was it for me. no thank you