Kay's Breakup Story in San Diego - YouBrokeUpHow.com (uBUH)

Kay

May 21, 2011 @ (San Diego)

We were together two and a half years, living together for one and a half of that, and while we had our challenges we loved and enjoyed each other and had planned a life together. We lived as a married couple and a ring had been picked out at his request. We planned trips and planned for a family, but we also enjoyed each other in the moment. I felt very loved, wanted and supported. The challenges were lifestyle issues. He was still a party boy and surrounded himself with party people. When I say party boy I mean that I would classify him and his friends as having drinking problems. I didn't really know the extent of partying until we moved in together. One of my parents is an alcoholic/drug addict so I started to be "triggered" constantly by their behavior and it reached a point of constant anxiety for me and caused major issues in the relationship. I could go on and on about the positives and negatives about this relationship and how the break-up came about and how wronged I felt, but I just don't have the energy. Anyway, at the time of the break-up I was unemployeed (had quit my job at his request two months earlier) so I found myself financially dependant on him, living in his house and with a broken heart. He said I was the love of his life, but that we weren't working and sometimes love isn't enough. If I hadn't been so blindsided by the break-up I probably would have agreed with him. It was horrible how he kept trying to emotionally support me through the break-up. He hugged me, cried, told me he loved me and that we would get through it together. I was losing a part of me and he didn't understand that he couldn't help me get over him. I spent a week in a haze and then went to work on getting my life together so that I could move out. Within a month I found a job and a place to live (which he had to cosign the lease for and pay the first months rent on because I hadn't started my job yet. It was so hard to have to ask him for anything.) So here I am now knowing that it was for the best but still aching with reminders and the "what will never be's". I want to let him go and move on, but it's just so hard.

Comment on this breakup

Kristina

July 01, 2011

Kay, I am in almost exactly the same situation, our lifestyle issues was not alcohol though, but just constant going out and being with friends, which is great, but not every single day. I couldn't and didn't want to keep up, so he went on his own, sometimes with just one friend who happened to be a girl. They really were just friends but then it became an issue that he was going out with others more then with his own girlfriend. He broke up with me saying he loves me, but we stopped working on compromises, and he found someone who share the same interests and lifestyle, and he is trying to emotionaly support me, we live in a flat, he would give me anything, keep the flat, I'll pay 2 rents upright, keep the car and keep whatever, call whenever, but I have to go. I don't think I'll ever get over it, but I know I have to at least try.