Searching for "realized"

96 Results For 'realized'

Allyson

February 09, 2016 @ (NYC)

Tags: Bad Break up, Dominican Moms, Black Girl Problems, Caribbean roots, NYC, Harlem,

I met him while browsing through people I may know on FB. I was 20 he was 19. His name was P. Sounds weird but we began dating before we even met in person 5 months later.
It was love at first sight literally...I've heard this saying and felt it was so corny and not possible BUT i'm a believer.
We both were struggling with our personal lives at the time of meeting so we filled those gaps which made us love even harder. Eventually, things started to decline. When it came to being emotionally supportive for me, and financial cracks he would always disappear. Perhaps after putting in 3 years I thought things would get better but they didn't. It didn't help that his mom was an older Dominican women. She hated that I was black, she hated everything about me. Over time things took its tole.
I recently decided to break things off finally a few days ago and throw in the towel. Not because I wanted to but because I felt I had to. I was physically attacked by his mom and assaulted while he stood near by and did nothing. With a huge open cut on my face, blood and all strangers bypassing were more concerned than he seemed.
The police got involved and he wasn't by my side and it was here when I realized. The person I met 3-4 years ago was not the person I'm with now.
I'll be the first to admit upbringing, infidelity, and insecurities drove this relationship to the ground. It's only been 3 days of feeling alone and empty out of the 3 and half year I was with him. He left me alone and in debt. Not even enough money for me to feed our cat that we got together. Its depressing but I plan on remaining strong.
Not to mention he treated me this way and I'm 2 and half months pregnant. I never understood how men could plant their seeds and not even feed the mouth of the women who carry their seeds. Im going to be strong and will raise this baby alone. He or she will be my new happiness. It break my hear that by law I can't just up and leave and at any point if he wanted to be involved he'd have every right to. Even though he doesn't deserve it. But this is life and the society we live it. So I'll just pray.

Mary

December 23, 2015 @ (California)

Tags: Bad Breakup

We had the best relationship for about a year. Everyone we knew was jealous of how happy we were. Then one night he was really drunk and mistook that I was cheating on him, which i did not. Since then, everything went downhill. He ignored me one night and took home another girl. So being single, I got with someone also. He came back to me saying he realized how wrong he was and I took him back. Not long after, he took home another girl in front of my face. Again he came back apologizing that he loved me and could never be happy with someone else again. Again I was stupid and took him back. And then again, I found out he brought home another girl ... for the 3rd time all together. Ive never felt so stupid in my life for believing everything he had said.

Mary

December 23, 2015 @ (California)

Tags: Bad Breakup

Sarah

November 06, 2015 @ (austin tx)

Tags: strength in weakness

So, I have had my fair share of bad breakups, bad relationships and just bad times... when i met him, i just fell head of heals. one he was so good looking, i thought i was the luckiest girl in the world being able to call him mine.. he had the most amazing heart, so pure and always trying to be closer to God... I admired him so much for his humble personality and strive to be a better man... i loved him and he fell in love with me... but after time, we realized we both wanted different things, he didn't want to travel, he wanted to stay in the same small town, he didn't care for finishing college as i wanted to eventually get my doctorates... he said he felt like we just weren't compatable.. and it broke my heart but when it happened... i remembered my breakup before him and how i would lean on drinking and clubbing to find comfort only to lead myself into an even more painful path... this time, i decided to read the bible, to pray more.. and i am still trying to do so... things happen in our life, that makes us want to crawl into bed and never get up... but we have to be strong, and that strength doesn't come from drinking, or partying or hooking up with other people... it comes from the one who know us better than anyone else, the one who died so that we can have a chance... i dont know if you believe in God of not... or if you are struggling with faith, or if you just don't know about God, but when something happens in your life that brings you down... God could be using it as an opportunity to draw him closer to you... cause it's at our weakest that his strength shines the brightest... losing my boyfriend sucked, it broke my heart and i had to deal with a lot of self esteem issues... but i'm trying every day to be happy... to see the bigger picture... to be able to say i may not be fine right now, but God has a plan for me...
i just encourage anyone with a broken heart to pray, it is so powerful and can really make a difference... it is for me at least

Noy

November 02, 2015 @ (Los Angeles )

Tags: Everything happens for a reason

We met my sophomore year of high school, his junior. He was tall, lean, blonde and gorgeous. At the beginning, I was normal. I treated him right and gave him everything. Gave him my virginity a couple months in, there was nothing I wouldnt give him. But a year and a half had passed so quickly. I didnt notice how awful of a person i had became. I was so irritated by his stupidity, even when he was not stupid. I was angry and I felt trapped, I blamed him for my sadness. I treated him so terrible and I took his love for granted. Though, after a year I had began noticing my abuse to him and decided i wanted to be better for him. I began changing, showing him my love, spoiling him. I wanted to make it up to him. But my damage was done. In the remaining months of our relationship when we first got out first job, he began talking to this girl. He started to not call me, text me, see me. I would ask him why and he responded that he didn't know why. That he forgot. The now and then we did hang, he was texting her. He said she was helping him pursue his dream of drawing. I said okay. He just grew so distant and I was growing so attached. The day he broke up with me was outside my house, I was late for work but needed to see him since he used every excuse to not see me. He finally did, and we broke up. I lead it on. I knew he wasnt happy, that i didnt make him happy. So i encouraged him to break up, and that we were going to be okay. He cried. I did too. He agreed and he ended it. Except... he kissed me goodbye. That was when I felt such pain and disbelief, how could i have let him go? i drove to work in tears, almost got into an accident. I was such a mess and in such a shock. I texted him i didnt want to break up, he didnt reply. I ended up calling and he picked up, explaining this is what he wanted, then saying it wasnt, then saying it was, then saying it wasnt. So i indeed kept hope. We made a deal that he would come to his decision the following thursday a week from then. I kept hope. I called him that monday asking id he had made a decision, he said yes. He made it a while ago, but he wasnt going to tell me till friday. That break up was the most painful thing i have ever dealt with. I had a lot of problems that he only knew about, i was open with him completely. Trusted him. Love him. I had made him my world and left all my friends. When he dumped me, I had no one. So i rebounded. cried. rebounded. cried. Then realized that everything happens for a reason. In this case, i was a terrible person to him. He brought out the worse in me. He didnt deserve it. Im glad he dumped me, i wouldnt have worked hard to change my ways. He wouldnt have been so happy. Hes the one who got away and I miss him. Will always love him. And I am sorry.

Noy

November 02, 2015 @ (Los Angeles )

Tags: Everything happens for a reason

Shayla2

October 13, 2015 @ (Somewhereintheus)

Tags: breakup

I met him online. He was different than my abusive ex-husband or any of the other pigs I had "dated" after ending it with my ex-husband. He seemed stable and career driven. We were inseparable yet we made a long distance relationship work for 3 yrs. He would come and see me every weekend. It felt normal. No arguing, no stress.I thought it was how a relationship was supposed to be. He got out of the military and moved in with me. We talked about a future but not in this way, not this soon. He had a hard time finding work and I found myself taking care of him financially and emotionally. He became like a 4th child. Things changed between us but not in a drastic way. He was married when I met him. He was going through a divorce but not on his own accord. Deep down inside, he did not want the divorce from his wife even though she did. He secretly took care of her even though he had no money to take care of himself. He continued to lie to me for years about his intentions with getting a divorce and every lie seemed believable. I held on because he was living with me and giving me more than he gave her. After 4 yrs of no divorce and no real commitment (Ring), I started to raise questions. He became nervous and fearful of losing what we had. He did the stupidest thing that sent our relationship spiraling. He proposed to me with a fake ring and lied to me about the value of the ring. His intentions may have been pure but his motives were not. He was fearful that I would ask him to move out and he had to do something to secure his spot in my home. It was only a matter of time (1 day) that I realized the ring was fake. He still lied about it. The lies continued for months about anything and everything to include the divorce that he "supposedly filed" but never did. Each lie drove me further away from him until it came to the point that I asked him to move out. It was a hard step for me because although I did not enjoy the lies, I enjoyed the companionship when I wanted/needed it and I enjoyed the security that he offered. He moved out with hopes that we would be back together. After he moved out, I realized how much I did not miss the lies and the stupidity he brought into my life. I realized we were not the perfect match that I thought we were. We still keep in touch but he thinks there is hope for us and there isn't. I have closed that chapter in my life ( I think anyways).

Shayla

October 12, 2015 @ (Fredericksburg Va)

Tags: \"Let\'s be friends\"break up

I really thought that he was the one. After 2 failed attempts at marriage and a failed long term relationship of 5yrs and countless miserable dates... He walked into my life and was what I thought I needed. The lies came slowly despite my inner thoughts of knowing the truth that he was indeed married. He assured me he wasn't and we continued what seemed to be a solid connection. We laughed, we shared jokes, we made love.... The quickies and the long passionate kind. Then he dropped the bomb on me that he had 4 kids and was unhappily married. He allowed me to make the decision to keep seeing him telling me that he was soon to get a divorce and said he had been looking at places to live and gave me a date of when he had planned to move out. A plan that seemed like it had been thought of for sometime. I believed him and continued to see him against my beliefs. We continued to get to know each other on a personal level. He acted like he didn't care about anything in his world except me (and his kids of course). I just knew he was going to divorce his wife. Not for me but for the simple fact that he too wanted to be happy and just wasn't in his marriage which happened to be dead before I came along. He traveled often taking me with him but definitely calling me religiously on the trips where he couldn't. Then one day it all changed. The day I said the "L" word. We had only been dating for 8m and I only knew for 2 that he was married. The L word scared him... It scared me but it was how I felt, so enamoured by him I couldn't help it. After that moment the phone calls became lesser and lesser. The good morning and good night text messages slowed down. After weeks of frustration I confronted him. It was then that he told me that he didn't feel the same way as I had felt and that he didn't know if he ever would or could. It stabbed me in the heart b/c I sacrificed so much of me, my morals, my beliefs to be with him. I stopped dating other people and was exclusive only to him. I was happy living in the moment but often times thought about a future with him. He decided that maybe we should cool off and it would be best to stop it now before I got hurt anymore than I already had been. He said he liked me a lot like a lot (his words) and wanted to still be friends. In that moment of anger I wanted it all and if I couldn't with him or have him love me after 8m of daring and sacrificing then we should stop talking all together. I reached out to him a week later. We cleared the air and realized some things were said out of anger,fear and a lot of alcohol but the truth is they were still said. We still talk some but just as "friends" conversation initiated by me mostly because although i know I need to let him go it's too hard to.

Myfault

September 04, 2015 @ (Coachella Valley)

Tags: dumped

I met this girl through a weekly meeting that talked about mental illness. I saw her beautiful, delicate pale skin compliment her dark hair. She was with another guy who I thought was her boyfriend. I was instantly enticed by her looks. Her silence was soft and spoke with such force that it shook me off my feet. I felt nervous and she did not even flinch to look at me while I talked. Damn I did not have a car at the time so I had to take the bus home. I missed my stop all because I was fantasizing about me being with her. Then as I looked back at my stop I came to the realization that I would probably never get a chance to even hangout with her. I fell hard just by her looks and it was not that she was a ten it was just her. Yeah, she is beautiful but her face oh her face just captured me like the moon captures the moth. weeks passed and I did not see her because she was busy with college. luckily I befriended her friend who was actually just childhood friends. I liked him alot and thanks to knowing him I got a chance at getting closer to this girl. who's name I did not know until he told me. By pure luck I got a chance to finally be alone with her and as I spoke I began to see that she looked at me differently. As she spoke i only fell deeper and deeper into her sweet eyes. we stayed up all night in th back of her car and i thought that maye I did have a chance. And I did. we fell in love but it woudnt last. She would break up with me for trivial reasons. later on I figured out she was insecure. New years eve we had a huge fight,I fel unappreciated and I finally put an end to it. She came back that same night which wass surprising because it was always me who had to but I was not. She said she would change because she actually loved me and she had never felt that way. Change she did some how she became even more perfect but I messed it up. still hurt from the past I treated her bad and I began to think I no longer needed her. I was a bad boyfriend for 6 months and she finally left. She no longer cared for me. And it is true that you only miss them once you let them go. I realized my mistakes and I tried for three months I was exasperated and exhausted but I kept trying. She was hurt. She did not trust me. I know I messed up and she has every right to leave. I would give her all the time in the world and I would still be here waiting for her. this was the first week of fall semester in college. it fees so different. today was the day I finally let go and I am so hurt I cant go to sleep Im crying and I dont know why. I hve been through some messed up shit in my life but even that did not cause me to cry. I cry because she is truly amazing and actually wanted me but I broke her. I have one last plan. I am finally going to give her space. I will work on myself and do my best to try and get a date with her. Sadly she is moving to either New york or san fransico in a year. I may never have another chance, sadly she said she would stay here with me until I finished with college. She is the type of girl to get over guys quick. she told me she would be over me in a week. Sadly I would be with her right now if in those 6 months I would tell her to leave me alone I Instead apologized and told her how much she meant to me.

Eve D

June 28, 2015 @ (Cali)

Tags: Betrayed, hurt, heartache

I dated this boy for a year and a half. We were great together, we spent every day together. He was so crazy in love with me and he did everything for me. About a couple months ago I started to notice a change in him. We started to argue a lot and I finally just realized that he wasn't the one for me. The night we broke up he was at another girls house. And a month later they are together. I guess the reason he was different was because he liked her. I don't understand how you can move on from a year and a half relationship so fast. It makes me question everything. So, while he is out with his new girl and having the best time I am stuck with all the heart ache. Ive never felt so betrayed in my life. The girl was one of my friends. I hope that he gets what is coming towards him one day. I hope one day he hurts as much as I've been hurting. It's getting easier with time, but I still have them days like today where I am angry, hurt and bitter. Has anyone been through anything like this and how did you over come it?