Searching for "my fault"

32 Results For 'my fault'

Zach

February 14, 2012 @ (Canada)

Tags: Best Friend, Messy, Life Goes on,

So I've been through a lot this past year and I feel like I am falling into the same pattern. It all started when I came out of the closet in February of 2008, my best friend didn't really know how to handle it. I could tell that he really wasn't okay with it, what I didn't know was that it was because he was actually gay too. So a few months after I came out out he eventually told me he was fine with it, and it was one of the happiest moments of my life. As time passed I noticed a change in him and then in July of 2009 he came out to me, and my reaction was well a little surprised. I never would have thought he was ever gay, he tried so hard to conceal that he was gay, he even dated and slept with girls, so it took some real evidence to prove that he wasn't messing with me. So he told me about the guy he had been seeing and it was all fine and dandy. Since I had met my best friend I always found him attractive, but now he was actually available. Summer turned to fall and soon enough he told me that he wasn't gay anymore, that 'it was a lifestyle choice he didn't wish to pursue.' I didn't believe him then and I don't believe him now mostly because I've seen him on a gay dating site recently. But never the less I still really liked him. He showed me this dating site that he used to meet guys and he signed me up, even though 'he wasn't gay anymore' he always insisted that I go out and meet guys, he was rather adamant which I found a bit odd, considering he was never interested in my love life before. Things began to get messy when he started to act out and act well a little recklessly, mostly because we and all of our friends were turning 19 and could start drinking, so he'd drive drunk, and he would do just do the dumbest things. This behavior went on for a year which brings us to 2011. 2011 was a very hard year for me. One day in the middle of July and I don't know the exact date, but he came over with some stuff I left at his house and he handed the items to me. I asked what was wrong and if he wanted to get a coffee, and he said 'Why would we do that?' and I said 'Because we're friends' and he replied 'Are we?' After that he turned away and I never saw him again. A month later I found out it was because I had feelings for him and that he had told all of our friends that I was a liar and horrible friend, that I was somehow delusional and that I had gone around spreading lies that he was gay when I told maybe 2 people who didn't say a word. So in the end he turned out to just be a coward who was trying to save his own ass who didn't care who he hurt in the process. Its been 7 months and I still haven't spoken or seen him, in the end I realized he would never have the courage to tell people how he really felt about anything or that he would never have the courage to tell anyone that he was a homosexual, and sometimes I feel like I may have hindered that. But its not always going to be my fault the blame will fall on him and all the lies and all the pettiness will catch up to him and everyone will see him for what he is. I won't vilify him and he shouldn't vilify me, we were both in our own ways wrong. I don't miss him anymore, I don't even want to be friends with him, mostly because of this one simple fact, I was his best friend and he always told me we would be friends no matter what, and I think to myself;I was hi best friend and look what he did to me? Why would I want to be friends with such a selfish person? Who put his own need to hide a silly secret above my feelings, I guess I wasn't as important to him as he liked to say, because if I was he would have at least talked to me and tried to work it out. I won't ever go back because I know if I did everything would be like it was before, he wouldn't respect me and it would be a misrealble disaster.

I'm moving on and more and more I am forgeting him, it started in September when I realized I couldn't remember the sound of his voice or his laugh, then things about him started to slip, and now I am starting to forget what he looked like, I feel like one day I'll need to grab a picture to remember him.

Anonymous

November 23, 2011 @ (home)

Tags: example1

I guess i just don't know what to say. I wish we'd never broken up, but I know it's what he wanted to do for awhile now. I was a fool for having been in denial for such a long time, and for believing that he feels as much as I feel for him. It's already been a month ever since our break up, but I still feel as broken as if it was just yesterday. I can remember begging him to not break up with me, but only to have him get angry and push me away. It hurts to think back and face the truth that all the while he was with me, it was just pretense. He really can't even stand the sight of me. He stopped texting me altogether after we broke up. I feel sick and tired; sick of relationships and tired of meeting new people. I absolutely hate the fact that he's made me feel like everything was my fault. I hate that he puts me through so much misery while we were together. He isn't the guy I once knew him to be, so I guess i'll let time do it's job and bury all this.

Jordyn

August 20, 2011 @ (Melbourne)

Tags: bleh

I was dating this guy and at first everything was great, but then I starting to feel like something wasn't quite right(and I've always had really good instincts). So I asked him if he was seeing someone else or sleeping with someone else, and he said he wasn't and convinced me that my instincts weren't right. Then all of a sudden he just stopped talking to me, he literally ignored my calls for a week, he told my best friend more about what was going on then he did to me. He claimed he had no money and was getting evicted,although this I heard from my best friend who also told me that he said he had more important things to worry about then me. Two weeks later I went to the doctors and found he had given me an STI, I was furious, because this proved that he either lied to me and wasn't clean or he was but then started sleeping with other girls. I told him the day after and he insisted that it was my fault and put all the blame on me. I was absolutely furious because I had been tested before we had sex and I was clean. The next night while I was asleep he sent me a text saying "This isn't working...I'm sorry" I was so angry, then to add to my anger I went on to Facebook only to see that he was in a relationship with someone else, literally less then 10 minutes after texting me. Not to mention also that while we were dating he said he couldn't put our relationship on Facebook because he just never did it wasn't his "thing" too, but that was clearly a lie, he was dating this other girl, for who knows how long.

Nikki

March 31, 2011 @ (yelm)

Tags: nikki123

well, today me & my boyfriend broke up. Obviously or i wouldnt be on this site. No, im not upset of sad but i hate leaving a situation with "WHY" in my mind.

Me & my boyfriend had been dating for a year and 4 months. In the beginning we were head over heels in love; spent all the time in the world together ect (i mean that's how most relationships are.. in the beggining). over the months our relationship began to get sour. Im a very impatient person so most of our fights were my fault. I changed of course because i did love him, with all my heart. But then two weeks ago he started doing the same things i did. Some examples of why he got mad at me, walking away from him when he wanted to talk, not texting him, not kissing him, not looking him in the eye when we talked, yelling at him, or bossing him around. Yea pretty extreme, now if ANYone can believe that i changed ALLLLLL of those things just to make him happy. things got better but then two weeks ago everything i changed for him he decided to do to me. After a while i had been desperatly waiting for him to break up with me, because i made the promise not to leave him, so in the end of it he would. finally he breaks up with me & i tell him how i feel and trust me i let it all out. Funny thing is, he didnt have anything to say. Mostly because he's 19 and still a junior in highschool, pretty lame of me to choose a dumb onee. All in all im glad we arent together i can focus on me now and stop worrying about weather or not HE'S happy..

Sarah

March 12, 2011 @ (michigan)

Tags: 1

my heart has been RIPPED from my chest and im going to cut my story short....My boyfriend broke up with me while i was pregnant for another girl..And that girl has a baby..I get an abortion and he doesnt help pay for any of it...Then he comes crawling back saying hes sorry and he loves me more than anything and that he thought about me every day...and so then i take him back...3 months later he left me for another girl AGAIN...Yeah i know its my fault for taking him back the first time but i honestly thought he was going to change...SO let that example be a lesson to you ladies. Men NEVER change when they say they're going to and that you have to watch out for piece of shit guys out there like that!!!!

Kayla Marie

November 29, 2010 @ (Tennessee )

Tags: Boys

Okay so I'm 13 and this guy I'm completely in love with is 15. I met him at my moms old friends apartments becaus he was living there at the time. Well I saw this really amazing guy on this lawn mower and I told my mom he was gorgeous. Well my aunt and mom decided to embarrase me by singing big green tractor. Later that night I was thinking about him constantely. I asked his cousin (moms friend) for his number. Which he gave it to me. I called him and he sounded so cute over the phone. So country. Well we texted fr a while and asked him to send a picture so he did and turns out I thought he was realy ugly. Well he was so sweet .. I texted him just so i wouldn't be mean and he was talking to me while I was sick. Well later on I thought it was annoying so I just ignored his txts. Months went on by, my aunt was moved in at the apartments and so I went to visit here there. Turns out I was dating this other guy and Blake texted me and asked me to meet him outside ". Well first i was scared but I went out and he wouldn't get out and talk to me. He had music full blast on in his truck and so his cousin made him come meet me. Finally I seen him closeup. He was gorgeous. Most amazing guy I had ever laid eyes on. We wen out for a drive with my mom and his cousin. We started talking in the cat, got along very well, then I noticed I started to get flirty. I scooted up very close to him and we looked At eachother phones. We bonded very quickly. After that we was together. Off and on like crazy! I was falling head over hills for him. My aunt let him stay with her one note wen I stayed got 2 hickeys then she tried to cover them up. Me his sister and his little brother got along. We would walk down to the creek a few times and make out in another room in the dark and acted like we seen a mouse but everyone knew better. Later on my mom noticed we was getting very comfortable with eachother. We broke up about a month ago. My fault :( now he won't tlk to ne at all . I think he hates me but I am SOOOO in love with him. I miss him so much and I try my best to get him back but it never works. He is a big and bad country boy who thinks he's all that. I need him. He is still to this day my world and my everything.

Ashley B-Brown

November 07, 2010 @ (atlanta)

Tags: tragedy

So there was this guy that I met at 15 when I moved to my new school. He was 16 and I remember when we first met, I felt electricity and I couldn't take my eyes off him...how cheesy is that? Ever since then we've never been able to completely be away from each other and for a while he was all I had. We've never been officially a couple due to a few problems. One, we fight like cats and dogs. In the beginning I held back and whenever he would say hurtful things I would try to avoid him but then he would just get mad and say that I was running away. That didn't last because eventually I got tired of taking his shit, and that's when the fights really started picking up. He lies, he tries to make things seem as if they're my fault, and frankly he is the biggest asshole I've ever met.

Here's where it gets even crazier we would stop talking for a month after the fights and then he would come back and we would start it up all over again. As we got older though, there were a few things that were brought to my attention. Any time I made a new friend at school, if he knew them, he would tell me not to be friends with them. Turns out, he has tried to sabotage 90% of the friendships I made, as if he was trying to keep me isolated. If I had even thought about dating another guy, he would get pissed but if he dated someone else then I'm bitter. I even remember on one of his drunken nights, he called me and told me that as much as he hated me, he wanted to be with me.

I knew that a lot of our pent up frustration was partially due to the fact that we didn't have sex. So, in the year that I turned 18 we had sex. It was pretty amazing and it actually helped. But of course, it didn't last..Skipping on threw, I went to college and he doesn't go to college so we stopped speaking b/c of another girl and when she broke up with him, he came to me. Btw that's what he does, whenever a girl hurts him, he finds me. So he started talking to me more, and he gained my trust again and when I went home for spring break we met on a car port surrounded by buildings, beautiful and romantic lol. And summer came around and we were having frustration fussing so we had sex. That's when everything became functional, until he got worried that I was pregnant. We don't use condoms and I'm not on the pill, DUMB. Thank god, I wasn't pregnant and so I went back to school. We kept in touch regularly until october and I hadn't heard from him until this morning. We had a small fight and he said that he misses me but I need to grow up and that we could talk when I learn how! Rude much, so I called him a dumb unnecessary bitch and blocked him. I'm not dumb, I go home in two weeks, so he's trying to fix his shit before i come home. So I know he'll contact me. that's pretty much why I blocked him so he'll have no choice but to text or call me. In the beginning this chaos was fun, but now that I'm older I just want stability. This was the first real fight we've had in a year so things have been getting better. But I just can't get passed that he hasn't even tried to talk to me for more than a month. I love him so much it hurts. I've loved him even before he took my virginity. He truly is the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. But people in hell want ice water. He can't let me go, and I can't let him go either. He has a few issues. He's had a pretty rough life, and I'm the only girl who has stayed and that scares him. Guys I've spoked to about this have told me, that I'm the one who could truly destroy him. He himself has told me that I have more power over him than I realize. Even when we have sex, it's not mindless fucking, it's quite emotional and he's the one that wants to be gentle with me while I want to get a little wild lol. He wanted me to stay in atlanta for school, and frankly I think that's what I should have done. There is another guy and there is another girl but unfortunately they're now part of a list of people that are for the purpose of taking our minds off of the other. They've been caught up in the tragedy of me and dylan. I just hope we learn to really love each other before we destroy each other.

NeedsHelp

September 12, 2010 @ (WestCoast)

Tags: Tags

My girlfriend of 9 years broke up with me to be with an old high school friend. The sad part is that I have a feeling that they will eventually get married within the next year or so. I’m absolutely crushed like never before. We’ve had our share of problems throughout our relationship and unfortunately it’s mostly my fault. I feel so stupid for taking her for granted.

We met in college back in 2001 and it started out as the most beautiful thing in this world that either of experienced. We were soul mates and were certain that we’d be together forever. It was like we were two peas in a pod, amongst a campus full of strangers and were very happy we found one another. It didn’t take us but 6 months to move in together we were so in love. However, after graduating college, I struggled for years, and was depressed even, to find a job. She supported us for most of our relationship as she was blessed with a wonderful career as an exceptional community organizer, which she now serves as the executive director of her organization. Me on the other hand, struggled immensely to find my passion, and had several dead end low paying jobs.. This was emotionally hard on me, and most certainly on her. However, we would make the best of our situation by taking various trips around the country and enjoying the natural bond we had for one another. We didn’t have to take trips really we enjoyed staying home together, whether we were intimately conversing about any topic or making passionate love. However, my career struggles took a severe toll on our relationship. I even went through a period of alcohol abuse, which lasted a couple of years. Eventually, after 4 great years she began to loose interest in me, and cheated on me a few times. Although I was obviously crushed, I took her back because I loved her so so much and believed we could work through anything, plus I always envisioned her as the mother of my kids. Fast forward to January 2008, I eventually found a job which pays great and I absolutely love-- finally I’m able to support us and feel good about myself in that regard. We celebrated the entire 2008 in the name of my success and life seemed golden--finally my career struggle was over! Unfortunately I started to drink again and lied several times about it and thus undermining any trust left. At that time, she started to give me warnings that I had to stop or else she’d leave. Fortunately I finally stopped, but we would still argue. She also began to voice, starting in mid-June of this year, that she was growing unsatisfied in our relationship and that we needed to talk. I unfortunately kept prolonging “the talk” and became slightly tuned out every time she said it. Beginning of August I noticed she started to act suspect: she seemed to pay more attention to sending text messages on her smart phone than being in my company. So, I naturally had a hunch something was wrong, so I checked her work email and noticed she made reservations at hotel to be with some random guy, the weekend I was going out of town visit college friends in LasVegas. To make a long painful story short, I confronted her about it over the phone while she was at work, she became shell-shocked that I found out and started crying. We hang up and she eventually came home from work. The first thing she said was we should break up… and that I should‘ve talked to her but now it‘s too late we have to break up. I’m begging and pleading for her to get her to change her mind, and that we should talk now, but she insisted we should break up. The next day I go to work, come back home and she’s gone. I call her and she said we shouldn’t be around each other anymore and one of us needs to move out. Now I’m in further disbelief and shock. What follows after that is even more painful drama, trauma rather, and would take another 500 words or so to explain but I‘ll save the detail--it’s bad.. In short, she’s been at a friends house for the past 3 weeks looking for a place and blocked my number from her cell phone, it turns out this random guy is an old high school friend and they are in a intimate partnership. She even hinted that they are talking about marriage. Meanwhile I’ve been alone in our old apartment reminiscing, broken-hearted but refusing to let go, looking at old pictures and her belongings, under an unbearable amount of sorrow, loss of appetite and motivation, deteriorating self-esteem and ego. I’ve been reading passages from Psalms to make it through the day. My life feels like it’s over.

Anonymous

December 31, 2009 @ (new jersey)

Tags: my fault

i've been with my girlfriend for 3 and a half years. after numerous break ups, each containing an amorous and sexual relationship for her, and nothing for me, she finally broke up with me. The thing that sucks is that she was a bitch for 2 and a half years, but for the last year she has been amazing and only had eyes for me. Unfortunately, i began to take her for granted and things went awry. We broke up 2 weeks ago, starting to hang out but she decided that she can't be with me, because i broke her heart, because our relationship has no thrills, and because i don't have my own apartment. She's already dating a very tall and tattooed man who's an ex drug addict. Also, he's ginger, so i don't feel too bad.

Sadie

October 23, 2009 @ (Florida)

Tags: Football game

I left work early one day to meet my boyfriend so that we could go to a football game with his friends. I parked in the garage across from my work and he met me at the car. We are all excited and we go to turn the car on and we get nothing. I try to start it again and still nothing happens. All of a sudden my boyfriend totally freaks out that he has food in the trunk and his friends are waiting to eat. I tell him its not a big deal since they are in the box seats...they will live without a few hotdogs before the game. He completely freaks out and starts walking away. I ignore the freak out and call AAA while he is screaming that it is my fault the car wont start. We have a huge blow out and we just start screaming at each other in front of everyone whose trying to get home. He calls me a bitch and walks away. 2 hrs later no AAA guy and no boyfriend. I go across the street to a bar and get completely hammered...thank you red headed sluts! FINALLY the AAA guy comes to get my car. I call my boyfriend and hes still screaming at me telling me its my fault and that I better come pick him up after the game. I hung up the phone and the AAA guy looks at me and asks if he can buy me a drink. Turned out to be an awesome night and yes random sex with strangers does solve all your problems :)