Searching for "rough"

277 Results For 'rough'

Vanillatwilight

May 14, 2012 @ (somewhere on earth)

So me and my first bf (now ex bf) had a long distance relationship that lasted over 2 months. We'd see each other once a week to play volleyball together and occasionally meet up for movie and mall dates. He was the sweetest guy ever and i'd give up sleep just to talk to him. He was also quite busy since he went to private school. I was devasted when we broke up but i agreed to it because i could feel that he didnt feel the same way about me anymore. After our breakup, i came upon a youtube video one day of him singing a love song dedicated to this other girl (the video was posted when we were dating). Later on, i found out that he had been cheating with me through our entire relationship with a girl that he met on a cruise and who lived half way around the world. I was furious and disappointed at him. I also found out that the reason he broke up with his other ex was because she found out he cheated on her (with the same girl he cheated on me with.) I kept that to myself for a while and then confronted him a few day ago. He simply said congrats on finding out, he did consider making a video for me at one point but singing to her was their thing and playing volleyball with me was our thing. It has been over 3 months since we broke up but he has hurt me so badly that im still having trouble recovering from it. I don't even know what to do with anymore. I can't talk to him anymore cuz i know that he won't tell me any truth and i dont want to talk to such jerks, but at the sametime a part deep down inside of me still have feelings for him. :S

Nicole

May 13, 2012 @ (MyHeart)

Tags: BOYFRIEND, GIRLFRIEND, STUPID, LOVE, SWEET, SAD, BEAUTIFUL, FOREVER, NEVER, HIM, HER, TOGETHER, HEART, SAD, HAPPY, CUTE, LOVE, HONEST, LIES, GUYS, GIRLS, HE, SHE, PRETTY, NEVER. NOW, CUTE. LOSER, JERK

Dear Forever, <3
You don't exist, never will you, never have you, only in the mind of someone blinded by love. Love isn't forever, If you have it you should know you are one luck person. 1 out of 1000 people find true love, I am not one of them sadly. Do I wish to be, yes I do indeed. Is it relevant you ask? Yes, completely honestly faithfully truly relevant from day one. You may say I had a typical relationship, did I think it was typical? Nope, I thought it was completely something irrelevant from that. I though he was different, you may say a lot of girls say that, but I believed it, dreamed it, thought it, loved it, carried it, and anything under the sun, blue moon, and starts, and the heaven above.. I loved him with all my heart. I'd do anything for him, yet all I could do was nothing. I started dating his cousin who I fell completely head over heels with. We only saw each other at school to be honest.. but I thought it was more than a fun, school romance. I thought I wanted him forever. Though he cheated on a girl 8 times to be exact, but more after that. I hated the girl, he cheated on me to be with her. He told us it was because we were alike, whoa there we didn't think that. I hated her, she hated me, I had the boobs, and butt, she had nothing. I was thick, she was... skinny, so skinny she has nothing. I had the cutest everything compared to him, but at the end she had him... and I was left with nothing from him but good memories from before. Did anything from before matter anymore? No. Did the fact I was better than her in body, to everything else? No. Because she had him, I wanted him, I wanted to be her, live her life, be where she is. She and I became friends, and talked all the time. We soon learned we were exactly alike nothing different. She and I, been through the same thing, going through the same thing, like the same things, almost exactly the same person. Except the fact we lived different lives, as in our on bodys. Even though we were almost completely the same person, I was still jealous of her for the longest. Because she had him? Nope, not this time. Because I thought she was better, prettier, which she was prettier. we may have almost been completely a like, but our appearance and body kept us separated. I was me, she was herself. Later, I got over him. I realized I deserve better, I need better, I want better, and better is what I will get. If she wanted to spend her life with him and get less than what she could have, need, or want, she can nobody will stop her not at all. Not me, her parents, herself, anyone. Not even him. As long as he could break her heart he was completely fine. Was she, yes because she loved him no matter what, kinda like I was. Later, I fell for someone else, that someone was him cousin. He was the same age as him, same grade, but different everything else. We never met, but we started talking June 3rd, We talked and talked, till we decided we liked each other. We had talk a lot before then, he was obsessed with the fact that he was in love with me, which if you promise not to tell, I loved that(;. I thought he wasn't. Till 06.12.11 the day we got together, we dated than 2 months later, we met. He had never kissed a girl, nor had a long relationship. I saw him that day, I was so nerves, so I paced back and forth at the mall.. I thought he'd see me and be like she's prettier on facebook... and things like I'm worthless. But of course as always he was such a sweet little cutie. <3 It was the best day. As time proceeded we didn't hang out til July 3rd Thunder Fest of course. As always it was the cutest thing. We dated til 5.5.12 Which was like a week and 2 days ago, 9 days to be exact. So, we dated for 11 months, almost. His birthday was May 11th. Of course on that day he was probably like, "It's my birthday I'll get high if I want to, can't deny that I want you, but I'll lie if I have to." - Drake lyrics. But of course he actually didn't want me. I've been thinking of him and I can't stop. It's my longest relationship, and I didn't want it to end. What do you thinks he's doing? Flirting with a new girl? Probably with a new girl? Hanging with a new girl? Doing better without me? Do you even think he thinks about me? Well, I wouldn't know. Want to know why? Because he wont talk to me. Everyday breaks my heart. I get by, by pretending no matter what day, hour, second, weather, or place he's thinking about me. He's dying inside, and I'm living under sunshine, and he's living in the dark shadowy days of breaking my heart. Sometimes I hope that whoever he is messing with now, as in flirting with.. they break his heart, but now I just hope that he's happy until "It's a beautiful day, and something reminds you, you wish you would have stayed." - Taylor Swift lyrics. And now that is the time I found out that forever only exist with a few people.
Love,
Nicole, <3

Laura

May 10, 2012 @ (Missouri)

Tags: Heartbreak

I started dating this guy about a year and a half ago. We were absolute BEST friends through high school, and going into a relationship seemed like the most natural, easy thing to do.
We're both Christians and agreed to make God the center of our relationship. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, was like a movie moment. We danced together, laughed together, we even sat and watched the sunset together (yes, cheesy..I know.) I got used to him being by my side all of the time. I depended on him. He was there for me through the ups and downs, and we supported each other through every decision.
He's a football player, and I went to every game I could. We were always at the others' house and his family was like my second family. People referred to us as "Mark and Laura", not just as "mark" or "laura" individually.
People, including myself, always just assumed we'd last forever. I mean, great clean Christian relationship for a year and a half after being best friends throughout high school. What could go wrong?

Last week, out of the blue, he told me that we needed time apart. He explained that he still cared for me, but didn't want a relationship at the moment. I tried being strong in front of him, but went home and bawled. He has hardly spoken to me since then, and he's been talking to his ex (who I've always been jealous of) recently and I literally feel sick to my stomach. I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I just constantly ache. All it takes is hearing his name and I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. ....Advice, please?

Laura

May 10, 2012 @ (Missouri)

Tags: Hearbreak

A

May 06, 2012 @ (california)

Tags: first, break, up

I started dating later in life, so he was my first--and this is my first break up.

We moved in together less than 6 months after our first date. We stayed together for a little under 2 years, but things started getting rocky half way through. I was feeling unsatisfied. I wanted it to work, and i would try communicating to him what I wanted. But for some reason we just weren't on the same page. By the end both of us were feeling worn out and unloved.

I was the one who initiated the idea of splitting. Maybe, immaturely on my part, I was thinking that it would spark something and we'd think, "no, I don't want to lose this person", and we'd try some other way to reach each other. But by then we didn't even know how to have that dialogue. It took me a couple of months to actually move out, but after some emotional drama, in the end he was the one wanting me to leave.

It's been about a month now and I can't stop feeling as though we failed, as though something died. And instead of just leaving it be and moving on, I keep feeling like we could have done so much better. I feel like the situation has brought me perspective, and a new sense of awareness of what it really means to be in a relationship with someone. But apparently it's too late. He says he's too tired, that he needs time to himself.

I could understand taking some time to ground ourselves, so reassess the situation. But in my mind I'm daydreaming about us connecting again like we did in the beginning, with excitement and a sense of adventure. In my mind, the second time around would be more wise, more mature. We'd have a better sense of how to approach it.

But he doesn't even want to entertain the idea, I guess. Embarrassingly, he doesn't even want to take my calls. I keep wanting things from him that he doesn't want to give. It hurts me, and on top of that I feel like such an idiot for trying still.

But I don't know how to let go, you know? I don't know how to not remember all the things about him and our past relationship without missing him.

I guess I'm not even sure if it's him I want. Maybe I am just craving a fulfilling relationship in general, and I keep trying to make him fit into that when he's obviously not the one for me.

It's still so hard to not get all emotional. I can go a couple of weeks without contacting him, but then it's like I can't stand it anymore and I just want to hear his voice. ]:

Pathetic, I know.

Bob David

May 03, 2012 @ (san diego)

Tags: Acceptance

We met when I was 21 and she was just turning 18, a little over 5 years ago. There was instant attraction and our relationship advanced quickly. I knew deep down that neither of us were mature enough to be in a long term committed relationship, but we stuck together anyways. There were a lot of good times, fun memories, amazing sex and we were always there for eachother through the ups and downs. About two years into the relationship there were multiple infadelities-- she started sleeping with one of my good friends behind my back and I had slept around with more than 1 girl. Despite this huge blow to our trust and relationship, we stuck together after we came clean with each other on what we had done. In hindsight I know that we stuck together because we were attached and had some form of needyness with each other. I feel weak to admit that, but I honestly just felt attached and couldn't let her go despite the fact that we had both hurt each other severely and that we deserved better. I knew in my heart at the time that I should have let her go, but my impulsive needyness forced me to hold on to a relationship that had become toxic. Since then we tried to rebuild the foundation of trust in our relationship, but we were fighting an uphill battle and there was just too much insecurity and distrust towards eachother. A year and a half ago we moved in together, which was a big mistake. Things were ok on the surface, but deep down we both felt disconnected and unhappy with the relationship. Along the way we became very short tempered and irritated with eachother. She would yell and call me names, I would yell back and say hurtful things-- stuff you just don't do when you say that you love someone. I knew in my heart for a long time it was not right and that I needed to let go, but I just didn't have the courage to part company with her. I feel ashamed for having held on to something that I knew was not right for me. We broke up about 5 weeks ago after she did not come home one night. She told me she went out to party with her friends and stayed with a female co-worker, but my intuition told me otherwise. We both agreed that we were not right together and both needed to stand on our own two feet. We were together for 5 and a half years and although I know that it was not the right relationship for me I still feel a deep sense of loss an emotional pain. Despite having hurt eachother I had considered her my best friend-- we did everything together and wanted desperately to make things work. I have been trying so hard for the last 5 weeks to look at the reality of the relationship, but my mind keeps wanting to tell me that we could have made it work or that I should have been a better man. The fact is I was immature and acted with the level of maturity and awareness that I had at the time-- I think it's fair to say that she did too. I keep beating myself up over what I could have done differently and all the what if's, but it has only held me back from letting go and moving on. I am trying so hard to accept that it's over, but still find myself hoping for reconciliation in the future-- hope that is eating me up inside. I know that we both deserve better and that it cannot work. I am not one to share my personal story on an online forum such as this, but I started reading a book the other day that suggested I post about the breakup on this website. It has been helpful typing this story up and putting things into perspective. I think it's important that I look at my past relationship logically rather than feed off of my emotions. Anyways, I know my story probably sounds crazy or like I am a bad guy for having cheated, but I would appreciate any feedback. I am now 26 and have come to so many realizations in reflecting on the relationship. I really want to better myself and become the best man that I can be not only for myself, but so that I can have a healthy, loving relationship in the future. Most importantly I want to love myself so I never put myself in a toxic relationship again where I think that I don't deserve better. Anyways, stay strong to everyone that is going through similar heart break or emotional pain. Everyone keeps telling me it will pass-- I just hope that it does sooner than later!

Eleonor

March 16, 2012 @ (Sussex)

Tags: Michael, Tom, Jared

Ever known a person who you constantly fight with? Like every single day?

Well that's the case with me and Tom. We argue so much, scream at each other.. But I love him to bits.. here's my story.

We met 3 years ago in college and I remember saying eeww he's so unattractive. We spoke a bit but that's the end of it. Three months later I met him at a function where I was bored out of my mind and he came up to me and said hey aren't you the person I spoke to around 3 months ago and I was like yes now I remember you. Anyway so we got talking and my dad phoned me and told me he couldn't take me back home that night so Tom drove me home. We are both into acting and around 2 months later were taking place in the same show and that's where we exchanged numbers. I was in a relationship at the time but as time passed I started to develop a soft spot for Tom and forgot my initial outlook on him.

Things got pretty ugly with my then boyfriend and it was Tom who I would phone at all times crying because my boyfriend was treating me like dirt. He supported me and helped me through the breakup, and 3 days after my breakup he held my hand so I was so confused.

Come April and as much as I liked Tom I had strong feelings for another guy- Jared. We started dating and Tom was devastated and didn't speak to me for like 2 whole months then when I broke up with Jared he was the one who I turned to and he held me and supported me. Then the shock of my life came when as I was crying he kissed me.. I was so confused I didn't know whether he liked me or not..

We had a Summer romance, we would do everything together and I loved him so much and was always loyal to him and was head over heels in love with him but my friends would tell me why him he is so unattractive and I would say I think he is handsome because I know his character well and I have learned to see over and above physical beauty.

He was so romantic, we would take long walks by the beach, make out in his car, go to quite places and spend the night making out there.

Then college started again and everything changed. We see each other often there. One night we both drank a lot and got really drunk and started making out in front of everyone and I don't know why he was embarrassed by it and when we met the next day he wasn't the same as usual..

He would ignore me, shout and fight with me and act like a total loser. Then this really fit guy started speaking to me and I told Tom do you like me he said no why I said fine then I'm going to start dating Michael and he didnt speak to me anymore.

I got into a relationship with Michael and since then things between Tom and I have been disastrous. We meet in college and then there's lots of flirting but then we fight so much all the time and compete coz we have classes together and he asked me how much I got in my Anatomy exam and I said A+ and he yelled at me coz he got an A.

Last week we met up with some of his friends and he held my hand and things really seemed weird. Coz I like Michael and he's really sweet and I know that Tom is just playing with my feelings now and he is jealous and possessive and doesn't like the fact that I am dating another guy yet he is too much of a jackass to commit to me :/

Morgan

March 11, 2012 @ (California)

Tags: Morgan

Me and my ex were together for 4 years. Last year he got into drugs. It ruined our relationship. He lied, stole and cheated.
When we first got together I had just gotten out of a relationship and he was in a bad one. We leaned on each other for comfort and ended up falling in love. I felt we had the perfect relationship. It was us against the world. We brought a beautiful child into the world and had the perfect happy family.
The stuff he has done to me while on drugs is unthinkable. The person I fell in love with was sweet, understanding, funny, considerate, everything I wanted out of a partner.
For 3 weeks prior to our breakup he got clean. It was great. I felt like we were falling in love all over again. Things were happy and he was being a wonderful father again. Then he left for the store that one faitful day and did not come back. He gave me some excuse about being kidnapped by old druggie friends. Came back the next day with my car wrecked and a girl. He stopped coming home after that and finally 4 days later I had enough and I packed up me and my son's stuff and moved out. Apparently that girl moved in the same day I left and they were together since then.
In the following 2 months he turned our family home into a drug house, went on leave from his job, totalled his car, and ended up in jail, oh and lost our home because he was jailed.
A couple of days into his jail stint we talked on the phone and he cried and appologized for everything he had done. We kinda reconciled but a week after he got released he started lying to me about texting someone. He got really defensive about who he was talking to just like he would do to me when he was doing drugs. He wont stop lying and I do not think I can get over the pain he has caused me and my son. He used to be wonderful and now he is the complete opposite. I am at a crossroads with our relationship and not sure what to do. My gut instinct tells me to run screaming into the hills and my heart is saying work it out with him.

Kim

March 08, 2012 @ (London)

Tags: David

So my worst breakup happened around a year ago. I was with a guy, David, who was really into religion and basically saw everything from a religious perspective. I am a Protestant but I don't take things to the extreme, unlike him.

2 years into the relationship I was bored and sick of him. Don't get me wrong, he's a good person, but his possessive nature would drive me up the wall. I could not stand him preaching about this and that.

Anyways so one day he started saying that I am cheating on him with many of the guys I know.. I mean seriously.... I really took offence at what he started saying about me. Then one day he started shouting and saying that I am cheating on him with his best guy mate. And I'm like no I'm not. I was debating leaving him (and had been for nearly under a year) when he spat at me. I broke up with him on the spot. I mean what sort of mutton spits at his girlfriend?

He cried and begged me not to leave him. He spent 5 months constantly stalking me and even threatened to kill himself. This was a very rough time for me but through the help of my friends and family I kept strong. I avoided all contact with him and blocked him from my phone. Things got so bad that we had to get a restraining order from the police.

I occasionally do see him and he gives me the shivers. Oh well :/

Steven

March 06, 2012 @ (Vermont)

Tags: Example 1

My sister gave her friend my number and instantly we started hitting it off. We talked everyday and all day long as well as hung out as much as possible. One day I asked her if she wanted to be official and she agreed. We were together for a few weeks and in that few weeks she said she loved me. I on the other hand wasnt ready to tell her that. Then a few days later she texted me in the middle of the night saying she rushed into the relationship and wasn't ready to be with someone. This was strange because days before she was saying things the COMPLETE opposite. She said she still wanted to talk and hang out and be together but just not officially. So I agreed and things kept going for a week until one day I was at her house playing a game on her iphone when randomly this kid texted her calling her "babe" I was skeptical so I went through the conversation while she wasn't looking and I found days worth of conversations with stuff like her saying "I want you" and "I miss you babe" (stuff she usually says to me) So i showed it to her and she freaked out and begged me not to leave and me being the idiot i was spent all night listening to her explain herself. She said that he meant nothing to her and one of the main reasons she broke up with me in the first place was that "there was another guy" which turned out to be her ex. This devastated me but when we were making up and spending the night together I told her I loved her. We were so close for a while until one day she texted my sister and told her "I make her feel like shit sometimes" which makes no sense because I had done nothing wrong. She told me she needed space from me and said If i dont do so then I'll "lose her forever" I spent two weeks not talking to her and in those two weeks I was in a deep depression and couldn't enjoy anything I once loved doing. So one day she texted me saying she missed me and took me back but once again she went through this stupid little phase she had where she just wouldn't talk to me or wouldn't call me "babe" or call me "her boyfriend" I checked her facebook and she flirts with SO many guys she calls them "babe" and "boo" and I just couldn't believe my eyes. I texted her 8 pages of everything that I felt and told her that she made no effort in the relationship and treated me like an idiot. She then proceeded to deny flirting and talking with other guys when I can clearly see her doing it on facebook. I broke up with her and she told me it was all my fault. Pssh yeah right. I know Im a good guy and I didnt deserve that. Fuck any girl who is a tease and thinks flirting with a million guys is cool. You aren't cool. It's unattractive and makes you look like a slut/idiot/bitch that no one likes