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Heartbroken Girl

January 15, 2012 @ (Austria)

Well, here's my story..
About 2 weeks ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. To be honest, he has been breaking up with me for the past 2 years. Basically, the first year was more than just perfect. It was more I thought possible! I loved him so much, I would have done anything for me and I knew he felt the same way about me.

So after a year, he broke up with me for the first time. I probably did the worst thing possible after that: I begged him to stay with me and tried to convince him for an hour to give us another chance - which he did eventually.
The weird thing was, that in those next few days, he would be everything I wanted. Kind, sweet, caring, telling me how much he loved me and that he couldn't imagine living a life without me.

This lasted for about 2 months when he broke up with me again. I didn't beg him to stay with me anymore, but after some days he came back, telling me how sorry he was and that he badly wanted us to be together again - I went back.
You see the pattern there, I guess..

So, that's how it would be: breakin up, getting back together, being completely in love again, breaking up..
After 2 years, I wasn't myself anymore. My life revolved around him, he was the center of my universe and that's when I completely lost myself.. I was trying to be the perfect girlfriend, to never make him angry, to always do what he wanted me to do, but it didn't matter. No matter what I did, he would still breake up with me after telling me the day before that I was everything he wanted.

I was confused, devastated, hurt. So, about half a year ago, after one of his breakups I knew, I couldn't take it anymore. I even had to get professional help and take antidepressants to get through the day. It was the hardest time of my life and there were times, were I didn't just want to die (which I did daily), but when I thought I actually would because of the pain.
The only thing that helped me was knowing that he didn't have anyone else and I tried to tell myself he would come back eventually. After some time, I even thought, I had found myself again and I didn't need him anymore.

So, 3 months ago, he texted me, saying how much he wanted me and another chance with me. When he came over, I knew I never stopped loving him, but at least I was able to keep control of myself. He noticed of course, that I had changed and he was everything I always wanted him to be. He even was full of doubts, saying how scared he was, that I wouldn't want him anymore and that he was so sorry for what he had done and that he had the feeling that everything was better now.
I really thought, he had a wakeup call and that he finally knew, he didn't want to be without me. Everytime I went out with my friends, he was so scared that I would meet someone else that I even felt sorry for him, because I really didn't want him to feel bad. So I would always say the sweetest things, when he called or texted me, because I wanted his doubts to go away - while I was out, supposed to be having fun. I liked doing it though, because it showed me, he cared!

We didn't see each other that often during the last 3 months, because we both had a lot of work to do and we wanted to take things slow. We didn't spend christmas and new year's eve together because he was visiting his family. I really missed him and he also always said how much he was looking forward to seeing me again. I believed him.
On new year's eve, while I was out celebrating, he kept texting me, calling me, saying that he was so scared I would do anything stupid and that he wanted to remind me how happy he was to be seeing me the next day.

So, when he came to visit me, he was kind and sweet and he stayed over. The next day, after sleeping with me once more of course, he broke up with me.. For the last time now, because a few days ago I found out he was already in a relationship with another woman..
After ONE week..

How come, I am so easy to forget? That he's living his life with someone else, happy, while I don't even know how to get up in the morning?
Everyone keeps telling me, that I would get over him eventually and that I'm oh so young (20) so of course I would fall in love again - and maybe they are right!

But... I know that there are people out there, never able to let go, who always find themselves hurt and miserable again, everytime they see that person.
I don't want to end up like that, I don't, but what if I'm one of those people? What if everytime I'm going to see him alone or with his new girlfriend, my hearts just breaks all over again?
How do I know that I'll be able to let go?

It felt good to get this of my chest..
With all my love,

a heartbroken girl

Jolene

January 02, 2012 @ (Aus)

Tags: 1

We weren't together long, probably only over a month and the relationship felt kind of rushed, as if everything just went way too fast. It isn't as if I regret anything about the relationship as it happened, I just think it would've turned out better if it didn't go so fast.
Anyway, all of a sudden when the holidays began we saw each other less and less. I was told that he was working too much and he was too tired to see me. When I asked about our lack of communication he said that he was just too tired and that I never really talked to him. It was frustrating and despairingly I attempted a sort of silent approach interspersed with periods of strained conversation (not face to face). I have no idea how any of this was supposed to help and so I just left it. He didn't 'have time' to see me...okay, then I'll just go on and assume that he's just not interested anymore.
So basically my breakup was a prolonged period of confusion in which the dumper let me work it out for myself that we were no longer together. Whether this method of indirect break up was an act of cowardice, laziness or (seriously misguided) kindness I don't know. We still talk occasionally through social networks and such and are supposedly 'friends' in a weird way that feels like nothing meaningful. I don't feel any resentment towards him (or try not to) because this stuff happens and people lose interest. Except I hope that when it does happen most people explain this to the persons' face and don't let them painstakingly figure it out for themselves.

Eldon Matashaw

December 30, 2011 @ (Lebanon Missouri)

Tags: love, marriage, god

I am lost in my heart and my soul. I am very active in my church and I spend a great deal of time proselytizing to help bring others to Christ. Ever since I was 14 our minister has taken a special hand in my learning of Gods will and ways. He even encouraged me to date his adopted daughter Svetlana after he brought her here from Russia. A couple of years later, Pastor Williams encouraged me to marry Svetlana even though we were both still in school. We were married when I was 16 and she was 14. I was nervous as I was a virgin on our wedding night and I wanted to take it slow but Svetlana was very insistant that we have sex. We made love once, then she never wanted to do it any more. 6 months later our beautiful daughter Kima was born, 8 lbs 4 ounces and looked just like her mother. Pastor Williams was so helpful always offering to look after my wife and baby when ever he sent me out to spread the word of God. I had to leave school, because Pastor told me God spoke to him and said I was to be his beacon in the land to guide folks to his eternal love. I was often gone from home for many days and sometimes weeks as Pastor gave me instructions on where to spread His word. One day I was traveling near our home town, so I decided to stop in to see my family. When I went in to our trailer, I found my wife and Pastor Williams asleep in our bed. I could see they were both naked. I was so confused and I left without saying anything. A few days later, I talked to Pastor about it and he said the two of them had been praying and speaking in tongues. They had both been so posessed by the spirit, they chose to bare themselves to the Lord. He assured me that they had not engaged in fornication and that they both were just so exhausted they fell asleep. I believed him because I know he would never lie as it is a sin. Well, last week I found out Svetlana is pregnant again and her and I have not had sex since our wedding night. When I asked the Pastor for guidance, he told me I needed to "man up" and take care of my family. He explained to me that some women can carry a mans seed for years and have several children from only one mating. But then a sister in the church told me that she knew Pastor and my wife were committing adultry and that Pastor is actually the father of my Kima and my unborn child. I dont know who to believe, but I am so hurting in my soul. I think this may be the Lord testing me, or perhaps Satan trying to destry another of God's unions. I asked Svetlana to be truthful with me, and she just left and went to tell Pastor that I am being sinful in mistrusting her. I got on the internet to seek answers and somehow wound up on this site. I see so much pain here, and somehow feel kinship with it. But I also want you all to know, God loves you all, and he wants only your happiness. God has a plan. May he bless us all, Amen.

His Only?

December 18, 2011 @ (If only I knew..)

Tags: two years, serious, love, hurt, miss him, want him back, heartbreak, pure, happy, how

I don't want this to sound like another bad romance or break up.. Because we weren't. I know this is hard to believe but in eighth grade, I met the love of my life. Don't get me wrong, I was really young and naive. But he had me at hello. He was tender but strong, charming but sweet, and fun ut committed. He was perfect for me. My other half has finally connected with my soul. We dated seriously for 2 years. We never rushed anything, always a casual move or a serious discussion. We realized the dangers of becoming as close as we did but were so sure we would be together for years to come. He loved me enough to even sit through New Moon with me on our year anniversary. I guess I was never a great girlfriend to him but I couldn't, and still can't live a day without him. A week after our two years, we got into a fight and my friend got involved and made him want to break up with me.. We were done at that point.. We disconnected and lost each other. Tragically, I grieved for months about losing him. He was my gift and I let it go. He moved,literally, across the country and it's been 8 months since I've seen or heard from him. Recently, he popped up into my Facebook and we started talking. I realized about 3 weeks ago how much I missed him and how much I want him back.. He is still kind of bitter, but is sincere too. I'm not sure what I should do anymore about this and was seeking help and guidance from someone who has gone through something like this. I know we both messed up but I still love him dearly. And I don't want to sound like a hopeless romantic because I'm not. I gave myself to him and have lost it. He means the world to me... Still.. Thank you for reading my reach out..

Katie

December 13, 2011 @ (Ireland)

Tags: :/

I'll try to shorten this as best I can! We met in school, got on instantly,glued at the hip! About a year later we got together. It lasted a month, we decided we were better as friends. But we got back together again. We were together for a year and a half.I was part of his family he was part of mine.I adore his family. We went on holidays together.We had the best of times. I could always be myself completely around him. He made me laugh more than anyone. But like any relationship, there's good bits and bad bits. I broke it off for various reasons, I felt like he only came to me when he had nothing better to do. He used to hang with these guys and they would fool around in cars racing and stuff, the thoughts of him being in an accident or doing something stupid made me feel sick. Basically I felt that I was in the relationship more than he was. He was the first person I wanted to see when the weekend came but I felt like I was the last person he wanted to see. Yeah he was always working and I understood that it was difficult, we didn't see each that often but I was okay with that I guess I just wanted him to want to actually want to see me. Also whenever we were together and he got a text from one of the boys, he'd leave to meet with them. Anyway, because I can tell him anything I told him all this straight out.So we left it on good terms. We're still as close as ever, we hang out when we can catch up and things.It's like nothing could shake our friendship, there's never awkward moments. It's been six months since we broke but lately I'm beginning to miss us and what we had a lot. I know It's pointless because I had gone crazy by the end of it all and It just doesn't work with us but I can't help but I adore him and in some ways want it all back again.I swear sometimes when I look at him he does too. What has always confused me about him though was how he would do so many things that show that he cared for me and he obviously did, but then he just did things that showed he didn't care that much at all. So there you have it. The story of my life!

Misael

December 03, 2011 @ (illinois)

Tags: first part

alrighty i met her 4 day into school she came into class and i noticed her quickly we began talking and 3 weeks later we were freinds she broke her leg and i would take her to class carry her books until i told her i really liked her and she told me we needed to talk about it we did but i was only expressing myself to her and went ahead and asked her to homecoming we had lt of good moments and the day of homecoming during a song i kissed her we went at it crazy and i asked her to be my girlfreind she said yes and we had a great night during a week we loved and lueghed and on the tenth day she said she wasnt ready and left me stranded with a note i read to myself alot im going to try getting her back but i need some advice help a bro out thanks

Gordon

November 21, 2011 @ (Newtown)

Tags: cheating

Everyone is prone to being cheated on, no matter if you are male or female, I don’t care if society says men are more likely to cheat. Being a male I am one of those guys who thinks it is completely unnecessary and cruel to cheat on someone who treats you like a princess and cares for you. So here is my story and I hope to get a lot of feedback from this. Thank you. So two year ago my girlfriend, we’ll call her “She-Devil”,moved back home from Arizona to live with her mom and to get away from all the bullshit out west. I met her through facebook, I got a message from here saying hello. We talked and hung out that day. Who could blame her, you move back home knowing no buddy but family, why not try and find people to hand out with. So that first week we felt instantly in love and all that great bullshit that goes along with a new lover. I was living on my own and she with her mom. My lease was running out and about 10 months of being together, we had this great idea of me moving in with her and her mom, and turn her basement into a living area for us to live in. I built a god damn basement for this girl. I loved doing it because I love seeing my girl happy. Along with many other little thinks, like buying the “just because” rose, and small things. O! and I got her a job working with my sister at an animal clinic. So for another year we were living the sweetest live together at that house, felt just like were I thought I belonged. So a month or two ago, she starts to act really distant and unhappy. Work was stressful but she would always come home and talk about it. Nothing. I would do what ever I could to make her happy. Got a card and wrote her a note. Leave post it notes saying how much I loved her where she could find. Just cute little thinks to get a smile out of her and in a way it seemed as if she was faking it. So I never really thought of her as a cheater, but during this month, one of her clients asked her if she could watch his dogs for him while he is at work. Extra money, who wouldn’t.
We had no sex life during this last month and she always seemed to doll herself up on the days that she would go “watch his dogs”. So this last Friday I over hear here talking to her mom about when to break up with me. I confronted her and that night she told me how she “wanted to be alone” she “isn’t sure what she wants” she “needs to spend time and find out who she is and what she needs to do it live.” Fucking high school bullshit, excuse. So it was the hardest thing for me, because of the fact that I cared about her so much and literally built a life for us to start. I was lead on so much to think that we would be together for much much longer. So that night I take off to vent with my buddies and I returned to fall asleep next to her. No matter how upset I was, I felt comfort in laying next to her. The next morning I get a phone call from my sister telling me to get my shit and get the fuck out of that house. I asked why, feeling very scared, thinking I was in danger. She would not tell me why, just to grab my stuff and get out. She convinced my dad and her boyfriend to all help out, in one trip we grabbed all my shit and got out in 2 hours because my sis didn’t want any confrontation with her. She gets to deal with her at work. So during the drive back to my dads, my sister hits me with it. She-devil told her co-workers, who she thought were her friends, that she had been fucking this guy and bragging about how he’s going to build her an apartment, going to buy her a computer, and offered her a job at his company. She-devil also bragged about how big his dick was. What She-devil didn’t expect was that these “friends” of hers are far more loyal friends to my sister and felt the need to tell her all this, thank god. Well now other co-workers started telling her how they walked in on her and this guy in a back room in the office, she would always come in late and take long lunches. I’m living at my Dads now, depressing as fuck. She denied it all when I asked her about it and she said that all those people at work are making shit up. Yeah, cuz I believe that. I did so much for this girl only to find out that my average size, 25 year old cock isn’t good enough for this 21 year old Cunt, but a bigger 43 year old dick does the trick. What the FUCK!!!!!! I’ve been cheated on before but never by someone who I cared so much for and thought she did the same. Ugh, Fucking Gross.

Kathy

November 01, 2011 @ (Texas)

Tags: Facebook

My girlfriend and I were together for a year. Things were great, we never fought could communicate, enjoyed the same things and just liked being together. We spent a week together everything was wonderful I was falling deeper and deeper in love. We talked about forever. It seemed like we both felt the same. I had to go away for a week on family business. I called her and texted her while I was gone told her I missed and loved her and for three days I got a response. On the fourth day I didn't hear from her and it went on like this until I got home. I signed onto facebook and her status was changed to single. I texted her and asked what was going on. She said it's over. No explAnation. I tried to call and text but she said to stop or she would change her number. I am devastated. She said she never loved me. I found out from a mutual friend that she had started talking to her ex while I was gone. I showed her all the time how much I loved her. I bought her a new car helped her with bills. I feel like such an idiot.

Just The Way You Are

October 11, 2011 @ (CA)

Tags: Example i

It's not really a break up, Im just in desperate need for advice. It all started October last year. I was staying at one of my mums friends houses and her son and I only knew eachother because of our parents work together. He is 17 and a highschool dropout. I'm 15 and still currently doing my studies. That night he went out with a couple of mates. For some peculiar reason I asked him to wake me when he got home. When he did he woke me and we spooned on his bed talking about whatever came to mind. He was so sweet, a side I've never seen from him before. After that experience we never really spoke again. Until about a week ago when I foundmyself in the same position. This time it got sexual. Only he was to big for me, so we didn't end up having sex. He was the first person id engaged with in doing stuff like that. I wasn't his first though. It was kinda strange. I felt so comfortable around him, I could be myself and not be self conscious like I normally am around others, and all my previous boyfriends. After that night we didn't speak again until two nights ago. I layer with him and drew circles on his leg, it was tickling him, and he was so cute. Just before we fell asleep he grabbed my hand and placed it on his crouch. After that he didnt speak to me ever again. I think I've fallen for him, but I can't help to think that he is just in it for the fun and the sexual side of things. I don't think he admires me as a person.he only admires what I can do with my hands. But his the type of person that if he did have feelings for me, he'd never let me know. His quite a big build. But I really want him to know that I love him for who he is, not what he looks like , or what he has achieved. I love him for him. As simple as it gets. His friends are complete drop kicks. And he values what they think. I have a feeling that's why his holding back. I don't know what to do, and advice would be great?! Thanks xo

CaptainMac316

October 01, 2011 @ (USA)

Tags: Sorry, that sucks, That's hilarious

I was dating this girl for almost 5 years. We were high school sweethearts and that continued into college. I get home from work one night and I think it's just a normal night. We are laying in bed watching whatever and she turns to me and says "(Name redacted) we need to talk." My first thought was "Fuck...what did I do now?"
So I ask her "What's up?"
Her response: "I...I found somebody else." I was floored. This was from out of nowhere. Now, as I'm sitting there, I start to think "Where did she find somebody else?" She didn't go to college. She didn't work at the time. She didn't venture out of the house unless she went somewhere with her family. Basically, I was dating a loser. So I asked "Where did you meet this guy?"
She replied, "Online." Ah, that made a lot of damn sense now. So, I ask her "Which site?" I'm thinking like eHarmony or match.com. Her response "I met him in a Harry Potter chat room." My only reaction was to laugh at her. "Are you kidding me?" I asked incredulously. She definitely was not. "What do you talk about on a Harry Potter chatroom? Did he ask you if you wanted to see his wand?" I got no response. Was I said and upset? Yes, but remember, laughter helps out when getting over such things.