Searching for "have"

629 Results For 'have'

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March 25, 2016 @ (Anywhere)

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I never was interested in dating until 9 months ago. I am 20 years old and I am young, but I fell in love. To me he was perfect until one day he wasn't. He told me I wasn't attractive enough for him, that I was stupid, a whore, worthless, etc. None of which is true. My friends were confused what I saw in him, and I will not try to sound conceited, but I knew I was much better looking. He made his own insecurities mine, to hide how he really felt. I was so depressed, I lost almost 15 bs. I was never big. I was 5'6" and went from 122 lbs to 106 lbs in three months. It was unhealthy. The first time we broke up I was devastated. I didn't eat or sleep, my anxiety was so bad it overtook my life. I was so desperate to make things right that I drove him further away. There was a point where I couldn't leave my bed and my roommates were genuinely concerned about me. A month later we got back together. It was beautiful. I was so happy and he said he loved me all the time. However 2 months later, it crashed again. I am OKAY. I am here to tell you it gets better. We broke up two days ago, I cried yesterday, but that's okay. I feel liberated. I realized that yes, we love each other, but we both are too immature to be together at this point. Sometimes when a relationship ends, you need to take a step back and really look at it. He holds grudges, he mentally abused me, he never made sacrifices for me, which made me resent him. I realized that sometimes love isn't enough. Sometimes you realize that no matter how desperate you are to make things work, they just don't. I know it's hard to accept, heck I am struggling too. If it is meant to be it will be. Maybe it's just not the right time, but I can tell you that once you hit rock bottom you can go nowhere else, but up. I was at rock bottom, I lived and someone I am okay. I haven't bombarded him with texts begging him to take me back or whine how it isn't fair. I simply said I wouldn't contact him unless he contacted me and he hasn't. I will not reach out again. My best advice to anyone going through what I survived, as much as it sucks and as much as you want to reach out and be with them, cut them off. Take a real look at your relationship. Do you want to go back to it? Is it worth it? If it is, than fight for it and if it works, that's amazing, if it doesn't at least you'll know you gave everything you had. I can promise you it isn't easy, but it does get better.

Henrietta

March 22, 2016 @ (China)

Tags: painfullbreakupandstilllonging

We were together for months. He loved me deeply. For me? I love him so much and three months later after he broke up with me I am still in so much agony. It was a long distance relationship. I was going to come after a year since I am still in college. I was just asking for one year. Not ten years, not twenty three, not even three. Just one year. But somehow he kinda lost his grip. Until now, I really do not know why we just all of a sudden fell apart. And I could not understand why we cannot fight for us. He said he has his own life now and he can no longer run this marathon with me. Was I depending too much on him for emotional support because of depression from my family problems? Was I too needy or too clingy? But I promise I never complained when he was busy. I just do not know why or how he fell out of love for me. Every single day, I ask why. I wonder if he ever opens his Skype and reads my messages begging him for another chance. Now, I am about to graduate but I have no direction since the man at the end of the tunnel, well he is no longer there to keep his promise. I am just totally lost and miserable. But I am not mad. I do not resent him either. I am grateful for everything. I just want to be his girl and I would give my all. (Sorry for any typos.)

Deanna

March 16, 2016 @ (ny)

Tags: Broken Heart

Before I share my story just a quick history. I had a 3 year relationship in high school i fell out of love then I met Erik and i was head over heels for about 8 months little dod I know he had feelings for his ex and his best friend. Being paranoid about this i gave him an ultamaduim and he broke it off. After this I did not believe in love I thought he was the one then I met chris. I dont know why I loved him since he was mentally abusive but I did. He also broke up with me while this was happening I had met another guy but he was just a friend to help me. And here is where my break up story begins. At first we just hooked up weird for me because I have never been that type but I felt so safe and comfortable with him. Although I didnt trust him because of my other relationships so he broke up with me briefly then we got back together. We then moved in together and were together for a year and a half. I kept threatening to kick him out because he was misplacing money and other events. He got sick of it and broke up with me. I understood that what I did was painful to him but I just thought he would try to workout it out since we had spent so much time together and lived together. I just don't know where to go from here. After Erik i didn't believe in love then i met my last bf and starting believing again now im back to where i started.

Kitty

March 14, 2016 @ (virginia)

Tags: Bad Break up

Well, I met this guy two years ago. We talked a lot. He asked me out and everything was great.. Except for the age difference. See to me and him age didn't matter. As long as there is love. But when I had to move in a different house hold I was forced to drop all contact with him. I had to disappear from him. Now. I'm back where I used to be and we found each other again.. Happiness and joy.. He asked me out again but at the time I had a boyfriend. So I broke up with the guy I was with and said yes to the one I loved. But everything is worse now. So I had this account on Facebook he didnt know I have and I decided to message him on it to see if he would flirt.. Well.. He did.. It hurt.. But I messaged him on Kik telling him I was going to bed and he said his phone was about to ddie but yet he was messaging my fake account.. I knew he was a liar. But I messaged him later on saying that the fake account was one of my best friends and he kept telling me it was nothing and pretty much my friend was lying. And I've realized now that every time I don't want to set him he "all of a sudden is " tired".. I know he's lying.. But every time I try to break up with him he gets so sad and it hurts me really bad. I love him I gave him my heart. I know that he can do a whole lot better than me. He can get someone older and a lot prettier..but he says he wants me.. If that's so.. Why does he cheat?

Prvnce

March 13, 2016 @ (Florida )

Tags: bad breakups, heart broken

Growing up, I've never had a sexual preference. I was always afraid to tell people because I knew no one would understand. Then my 10th grade year in highschool, I met the perfect being, the "love of my life". We started talking December 28th and made it official January 1st at 12:04. We've had a bumpy road. I always was so used to being heart broken that I didn't know how to love anymore or even appreciate it when it's shown to me. But he sat there and he waited for me to open up to him and he was stern when he needed to be. Truth of the fact is, I wouldn't have this stronger state of mind if it wasn't for him. He was such an inspiration to my life. In my sophomore days he was a senior and was off to college. We was in a log distance relationship. He stayed in West Virginia and I stayed in Florida. We was going together for 8 months before I left him, because I thought I haven't loved him anymore. Then later that September we got back together and saw each other in person for the first time in October. We made a bond like no other. And one thing I remember is when he told me he don't ever wanna live without me by his side..."I need you in my life" He would say. We was going so fine until the day he got in college. I got less attention and began to beg him and antagonize him because I didn't understand that being in college is time consuming. He then began to pay his attention to other guys. After we had a talk about it we was fine for our 1 year anniversary "one year down forever to go." I still remember him saying. Little did we know forever was just about to end...as time flew by he began to loose interest in me. He would call me too gay and tell me he don't like the way I dance or the way I dress. He'll say he didn't like my body being a certain way, but he would always be attracted to other guys that was just the same as what he didn't want in me. He would like their pics, text and call them. And we've had multiple falling outs about it. Finally I understood that he felt I didn't appreciate him is why he was distant from me. I gave in to my faults and offered to fix the situation. He agreed but would never let me. He would either ignore me, be rude to me or just act like I don't even exist. Or like I'm just an associate. This has been going on for months. A week ago he said he wasn't in love with me anymore. Today, March 13, 2016 I am a single broken hearted man. We've been through the hell and back together. We've lost friends for each other. His dad won't talk to him and my mom rebuke me. We both don't get along with our families because of the way they treat us. I've never had a shoulder to lean on. He's all I have...now I have nothing...once again my heart is broken and he don't even care anymore. I've cried so many times and he didn't care. I don't know what to do. I'm hurt. AGAIN...

Prvnce

March 13, 2016 @ (Florida )

Tags: bad breakups, heart broken

Nicole

February 28, 2016 @ (Usa)

Tags: Bad breakup,

I was head over heals for a guy in 2 of my classes. Being a super shy girl I didn't think we'd ever be together. Through a class project he asked to be partners then later from there we started dating. Literally happiest time of my life. We did everything together and we both agreed it felt like we'd be together for months and months because we clicked so well. 3 weeks into the relationship he broke up with me over text. His reason was that he may be transferring to another city to play football his junior year of highschool. Even though we are only sophmores and still and have 5 months before he would have to leave, he still decided he wanted to end things. He said some pretty hurtful things in the messages too. He hasn't talked to me in person since the day BEFORE we broke up, which wasn't even a week ago. Should i confront him about this or just leave things the way they are?

Sadperson1

February 16, 2016 @ (Romania)

Tags: Bad breakup

I loved this girl so much that now it hurts i was woth her for 3 years we were fighting from time to time because she had a temper and i was always the nice person in the relation but recently our problems greBecause my brother is living with us no actually she lives with me and my brother wich he never complained about her even though she doesnt pay rent or pay but he complains about how messy he is and non organised he is and she hates it so she gets nervous on meand we fight i told her that i will move out with you when the time is ready and live just me and her and i promised her that but ihad second thoughts i can not leave my brother for a girl that she doesnt like him if she really loves me she would understand and wait at least till my brother finishes his university and after we have plenty of time together she wanted to move immediately so we fought almost all the time so i broke up with her like 1 month ago but i cant stop thinking about jer cuz i ttuely loved her and she was the worst girlfriend i ever had wich is i cant explain i jsut want to move on why i can't

Jadine

February 14, 2016 @ (Sask)

Tags: sad, valentines day, asshole

It's quite funny actually, as I have already posted on this site before with a brief submission on Jan 28, 2014. My first post was about my first boyfriend. We ended up getting back together on and off for about another 8 months before things finally ended for good (thank god!)
Looking back, I don't know why I was so sad. I just think it was because we had dated for 2 years, and he knew me inside out. But I wasn't serious about him, I know I could never end up with someone like him. After the breakup, I didn't expect to get into a relationship for a long time, maybe years. But only a few short months later my dream guy came along, someone I never thought would notice me.
He was amazing; 6'4", incredibly handsome, polite, smart, sweet, funny. I was in shock. I don't know if I ever had anyone on such a high pedestal before. And he wanted me back. Life, at that time, seemed like a dream come true, and I think that's where I ruined myself. I made HIM my dream. But I loved him so much and I was still in awe of everything he did. And all was well until moving away to a different city so I could go to university after only 4 months of dating.
Things changed. He changed. His true colors came out while living together. A once caring, dreamy person became cold, distant and indifferent. I had gained 15 pounds in the 6 months after university, and it apparently caused a huge problem for him (as he told me- "I would treat you better if you were thinner"). He would only return some of my texts, and got annoyed of me easily. The first 5 months living together were difficult, feeling like I was always reaching for him and he was just pulling away. I cried all the time. Looking back, after moving in that's mostly what I did with my time.
We've been broken up for a month now, but still living together because we signed into a lease. I've been trying to keep it civil but he seems to like hurting me constantly. A day doesn't go by without some sort of remark like "I enjoy this place when you're not here" or "you're not going to lose weight just watching a show about vegetables". After we agreed to try and be friends. Obviously it's hardest for me as I still care a great deal and he doesn't care at all, but yet I still try. I wake up everyday knowing that there's just going to be another heartbreaking moment. And every so often I think back to how it was in the beginning, everything was so perfect. I didn't want it to end up like this. What helps me to keep moving forward is to look at his attitude, he's treating me like dirt. And for what? All I did in our relationship was want to grow our love into something huge, but he couldn't see my value. I ask him what went wrong, he comes up with minuscule excuses such as "you never made me a friendship bracelet when you said you would" or "you turned on the light when I was sleeping". It's all a sad excuse to hide behind the real truth that he's shallow, and that once he saw me for my real self, without the nice body and makeup and clothes, he decided I wasn't good enough anymore. And i'm so glad that i'm stronger than I was 2 years ago, because no i'm not as sad as I was then, I've grown. I still cry sometimes, but I have to remember that I have the good heart, and important attributes to make love last, and him not being able to see that is HIS problem.

Allyson

February 09, 2016 @ (NYC)

Tags: Bad Break up, Dominican Moms, Black Girl Problems, Caribbean roots, NYC, Harlem,

I met him while browsing through people I may know on FB. I was 20 he was 19. His name was P. Sounds weird but we began dating before we even met in person 5 months later.
It was love at first sight literally...I've heard this saying and felt it was so corny and not possible BUT i'm a believer.
We both were struggling with our personal lives at the time of meeting so we filled those gaps which made us love even harder. Eventually, things started to decline. When it came to being emotionally supportive for me, and financial cracks he would always disappear. Perhaps after putting in 3 years I thought things would get better but they didn't. It didn't help that his mom was an older Dominican women. She hated that I was black, she hated everything about me. Over time things took its tole.
I recently decided to break things off finally a few days ago and throw in the towel. Not because I wanted to but because I felt I had to. I was physically attacked by his mom and assaulted while he stood near by and did nothing. With a huge open cut on my face, blood and all strangers bypassing were more concerned than he seemed.
The police got involved and he wasn't by my side and it was here when I realized. The person I met 3-4 years ago was not the person I'm with now.
I'll be the first to admit upbringing, infidelity, and insecurities drove this relationship to the ground. It's only been 3 days of feeling alone and empty out of the 3 and half year I was with him. He left me alone and in debt. Not even enough money for me to feed our cat that we got together. Its depressing but I plan on remaining strong.
Not to mention he treated me this way and I'm 2 and half months pregnant. I never understood how men could plant their seeds and not even feed the mouth of the women who carry their seeds. Im going to be strong and will raise this baby alone. He or she will be my new happiness. It break my hear that by law I can't just up and leave and at any point if he wanted to be involved he'd have every right to. Even though he doesn't deserve it. But this is life and the society we live it. So I'll just pray.