New's Breakup Story in Anywhere - YouBrokeUpHow.com (uBUH)

New

March 25, 2016 @ (Anywhere)

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I never was interested in dating until 9 months ago. I am 20 years old and I am young, but I fell in love. To me he was perfect until one day he wasn't. He told me I wasn't attractive enough for him, that I was stupid, a whore, worthless, etc. None of which is true. My friends were confused what I saw in him, and I will not try to sound conceited, but I knew I was much better looking. He made his own insecurities mine, to hide how he really felt. I was so depressed, I lost almost 15 bs. I was never big. I was 5'6" and went from 122 lbs to 106 lbs in three months. It was unhealthy. The first time we broke up I was devastated. I didn't eat or sleep, my anxiety was so bad it overtook my life. I was so desperate to make things right that I drove him further away. There was a point where I couldn't leave my bed and my roommates were genuinely concerned about me. A month later we got back together. It was beautiful. I was so happy and he said he loved me all the time. However 2 months later, it crashed again. I am OKAY. I am here to tell you it gets better. We broke up two days ago, I cried yesterday, but that's okay. I feel liberated. I realized that yes, we love each other, but we both are too immature to be together at this point. Sometimes when a relationship ends, you need to take a step back and really look at it. He holds grudges, he mentally abused me, he never made sacrifices for me, which made me resent him. I realized that sometimes love isn't enough. Sometimes you realize that no matter how desperate you are to make things work, they just don't. I know it's hard to accept, heck I am struggling too. If it is meant to be it will be. Maybe it's just not the right time, but I can tell you that once you hit rock bottom you can go nowhere else, but up. I was at rock bottom, I lived and someone I am okay. I haven't bombarded him with texts begging him to take me back or whine how it isn't fair. I simply said I wouldn't contact him unless he contacted me and he hasn't. I will not reach out again. My best advice to anyone going through what I survived, as much as it sucks and as much as you want to reach out and be with them, cut them off. Take a real look at your relationship. Do you want to go back to it? Is it worth it? If it is, than fight for it and if it works, that's amazing, if it doesn't at least you'll know you gave everything you had. I can promise you it isn't easy, but it does get better.