Searching for "than"


285 Results For 'than'

Evan

May 06, 2014 @ (LA)

Tags: Hurt breakup


I met her 5 years after my second break up, 10 years after my first break up. She was just a play girl who loves clubbing and enjoying herself but maybe at that time I was too tired of being alone. She expressed interest in me first but I was the one who said "Let's start a relationship". She couldnt believe me at first, neither do I but the more we see each other, the deeper the feeling gets. I try to fix her, offer her a proper job, support her family, taking care of her future. But she always ask me if I will marry her... I will but not now as we're just 25 years old and knowing each other for more than 12 months. Things get worse when I try to bring her life up and she tells me to stop controlling her life... and she ran away from me... She said she wants fresh air, only clubbing and party people could give her good time... Being with me only make she feel stucked and tired. I was very upset but only till she keep talking about how her last boyfriend treat her (and he dumped her for another girl)


       

Scuba

April 10, 2014 @ (USA)

Tags: Break up, devastating


Best Break Up Story Ever
So there I was having dinner with my several of my friends. Two of the guys in very happy loving relationships, when my friend says to me, "that is the greatest break up story of all time." Although I felt smile crept through, inside my heart just froze.

On a chilly November night in Leipzig Germany, my co-worker and myself went out for dinner after 2 weeks of business behind us. Now we were on our own time. A little exploring and big dinner were on tap. My coworker was decent company, not a bad guy, loved European women, married, didn't mind having some fun.

After dinner we wandered around having some drinks at various places where we ended up a jazz club, 60's style, with a Beatles cover band playing in the corner. The place was fun and the people very friendly. All the people wanted to talk to us Americans. As the night progressed something terrible happened.

Let me rewind about a month now. What started out some minor gastric distress once, slowly progressed to be having severe stomach eruptions, completely unexpected. A week would go by and nothing, and than all of a sudden I could be walking into a work meeting and feel something just slide right out of me. Horrifically embarrassing.

Back to Germany. I was standing talking to a factory worker over a half liter of Leipzigs best, when all of a sudden it started happening again. An explosion already started to poke on out and there was no stopping it. I ran downstairs to the bathroom and locked myself in the toilet stall. To my dismay it was too late. The Hershey Highway was everywhere, even running into my brand new black dress shoes. I quickly looked for toilet paper.... Nothing.... My tie was the only source of anything worth cleaning myself up.

I tried to get myself into some type of working order and planned my exit. A side door out of the basement, I quickly exited leaving my co-worker behind. With a dead cell phone I wandered the streets for a bit to find my hotel. Without google maps Leipzig is a confusing city to navigate by foot. I found my hotel and quickly locked myself away to clean up. What a mess.

The next day my dear girlfriend at the time asked what happened to me last night where I responded nothing good. I told her about my issue and that I was driving up to Berlin. I was nervous because I didn't have my passport on me and couldn't remember where I packed it. Turns out it was still in my soiled pants double bagged in plastic. The relief of finding that passport once I arrived in Berlin was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

That night in the Berlin hotel, my coworker texted me to insure I was ok and what happened to me. I responded that everything was good and I met some girls and left with them and headed back to the hotel. I didn't want him to know of what happened to me.

Once I arrived home my girlfriend picked me up at the airport and we had a wonderful day. Filled with love making, shopping and cooking ourselves a wonderful meal. Jet lagged I fell asleep with a soft smile on my face, happy to home and loved. Than I woke to slamming door and my love gone. I thought I was dreaming and drifted off to sleep, where again I awoke to her coming and going once more and speeding away in her car.

I called her and asked her what was going on, and she responds you F'd a girl in Germany.... I saw your text message....

Turns out she snooped through my phone. For what reason I do not know, but saw my text to my coworker and assumed I cheated. I have never ever cheated in my life. And I would never....

Long story short, we sort of reconciled and started to move the relationship forward where 3 months later the relationship just fell right apart. Our trust was never repaired and the relationship just fell apart on Valentines day with a text from her saying she is done because she didn't believe I was out with my boss and his wife.

The best and worst heartbreaking break up story ever. I thought she was the girl I was going to marry.....


       

Annie

March 26, 2014 @ (Los Angeles)

Tags: Badbreakup hopeless love


As a seventeen year old girl I have been told that I am beginning to start out my life. But I can't seem to wrap my finger around it I don't know why but I truly hate being a teenager.. Well anyways I grew up in a very Christian family where as a small child I was not exposed to much of the outer world I was literally locked up at home with only gospel music and movies of Daniel in the lions den. I guess you can say I was an innocent child, when I started high school I had everything planned out I would go to school stay in my books and study hard to graduate with no drama . Life however decided to throw me the unexpected. At the age of fourteen I met a guy who was like no other or so I thought, he showed me everything that I didn't know existed for example music genres, because of him I found out that I love alternative rock, yea yea I didn't know what that was xp.. I really thought we would be together forever like he told me, we even ran away together. my parents did not like the fact that I started to date an "outsider" a guy who wasnt Christian so they did everything possible to break us up, I was sent to Texas for a couple of months but that didnt work. Nothing they did worked, my family would warn me about how guys only use you or that he will find someone else then leave you stranded I didn't believe them, I admit I am a stubborn person. I loved him with all my heart and but to this day I still do, I love him so much that it hurts v.v We had dated for three years, he then broke up with me right after our three year anniversary. I gave up everything to him, my innocence, my trust, my love everything even money. Everyday we would spend together and when he broke up with me I felt as if I was being hit by trucks. It has been 5 months since our break up and I still can't move on. I have tried just about everything there is to forget but it's hard, especially since my school is literally one hall way. I see him everyday and it hurts, just yesterday I saw him with another girl.. And it hurt since yesterday would have been 3 years and 5 months. To make matters worse i recently found out that he had cheated on more than once throughout our relationship, and honestly that just made my depression worse..He was my first boyfriend ever and probably my last, guys are too complicating and I'm not good with relationship. I was told to never run away from my problems but there are times where you have to get away to continue with your life. I'm a senior with only two months until graduation, but because I decided to take the teenage love life experience I am forced to transfer schools. Life as a teenage girl.. .-.


       

Ari

March 11, 2014 @ (Miami, FL)

Tags: She cheated, bad breakup, bitch



During my freshman year of highschool, I was worried about making friends, but I did surprisingly well in a social aspect. On the 3rd week of school, a girl sat right in front of me during our physical education class. This girl just moved in to my town in August and supposedly the reason why she moved is because her single father sent her here because his wife divorced him. But something strange I noticed is that her older sister and younger brother stayed with her father in New Jersey (this all took place in Miami, FL). I didn’t mind though. Anyhow, I met her in that class and after about 2 days of being just friends, we started dating. It turns out she actually had a crush on me and that’s why she sat in front of me on that day. I was, from what she said, her "first kiss" and also her "first boyfriend" and I didn't doubt it at all; in fact, I was honored because of it. Nothing could take that title away from me. For the first month, everything was fantastic. No arguments. No stress. It was all make out sessions, guitar songs on the beach, and basically, just pure relationship shit. I wasn't in love with her though, but I still cared very much for her. I put her in front of my family and friends, always got her gifts, always made her happy whenever she was down, helped her with schoolwork, family issues, depression, friends; I put everything I had into this. After the first month, she gave me a letter that said that after highschool we should move in together and get married someday, which did seem rather clingy, but I said yes because at that moment, I fell in love. She gave me a blowjob that day too which seems weird considering she had no experience before me (remember I was her first kiss and her first boyfriend). Around that time, they switched around my classes and they switched me out of the one class I had with her. The day after that, she starts talking about another guy. I didn't mind though because she had many other guy friends she would talk about occasionally (I did get a bit jealous, but it never got the better of me). Over the next two weeks or so, she started talking more about him, and eventually started texting him and hanging out with this other guy more than me. That Friday I went over her house, re-ignited the spark, and even got head. Everything was fantastic for the both of us. We were so happy; until Monday, of course. She was pissed at me for an unknown reason on Monday, so I resolve it that Tuesday by surprising her in the morning with flowers, using the cologne she likes, using the clothing she loves I wear; the small things she always mentioned. That didn't work. But on the bus later that day, I won her back. She said she was mad because I was too clingy. Ok, fair game. So I stopped being clingy. However, after two days she's pissed at me again because I was being too friendly (the opposite of clingy) and she ditched me that day. I immediately took the bus (which I almost got kicked off of), went home, wrote a letter for her, dressed really nicely, and ran 3 miles to her house to surprise her. I then fix everything AGAIN with her and we plan to meet up on Sunday (our 2 month anniversary). We decide to meet up at the mall at 7:00, go to my empty place until 11:00, and return. She ends up showing two hours late, didn't kiss or hug me or anything when I greeted her, canceled our plans, texted the guy she was obsessed about (and freaked out about the fact he got a haircut), left me with a huge bill for the food, and didn't even kiss me that night. After she left, she texted me saying that I only wanted her for sex (not true) and I go off explaining that I love her for the love she gives me not her body and etc. She then says that she loves me and is never going to leave me and we go on for a while exchanging about how much we loved each other. I was relieved. However, not even 24 hours later, she texts me saying that we should be friends for a couple weeks and then get back together. Things took a turn for the worst when that Thursday she leaves me (through a rumor nonetheless) and on that same day, about an hour after I heard we broke up, makes out with that guy she was obsessed about and texted all the time and freaked over his hair. Even though I tried to get her back with letters and chocolates and flowers and words from the heart and whatnot, it failed, and I was miserable. She said she wanted to be friends but then rumors spread that made me look bad and made her hate me. I fell into a deep depression. After we've been apart for a month, one of my best friends that I’ve known for 3 years now mentioned to me that while we were dating she sent him nude pictures of herself and even let him feel her up. She cheated on me with my best friend and then left me for her best friend/obsession (seemed kind of dumb considering said person has cheated on a lot of girls and has a face full of pimples). I still loved her though. Even though she treated me like crap, always texted other guys, showed up late and cancelled our plans I didn't care; I loved her. Unconditionally.

Today we’ve been broken up for a couple months. They ended up fucking but I’m pretty sure they’re both cheating on each other which seems pretty disgusting to me. I just wonder if it was really worth it when she slept with him… I guess I just need to learn the simple rule of “Don’t talk to strangers”. Good thing I’m over her.


       

Henry

February 28, 2014 @ (Kerman, CA)

Tags: Bad break up


So I'm a guy, and I was in a gay relationship for 1 year and 8 months. It was like the perfect relationship, and I was so in love. It was my first time in a relationship and it started May of 2012 up until now. There were never really any signs that their was something wrong with us. We were always happy and loving to each other. When he moved to another state communication was hard. It was Arkansas, and I was in California. He was planning on staying over there and not coming back, but he only stayed there for only about a month because he feel into a depression and came back to be with me. We were good up until there was problems with his family and him, this was in December 2013. One day he took me to the place where we first fell for each other and told me he's going to have to move back to Arkansas because he can't take the drama here. I was sad knowing he was going to leave back again. Then when the day came on January 3 2014, he was packing all his stuff and was getting ready to leave. I told him to be with me in his room alone, and surprised him with a new cell phone so we could contact each other. He cried a lot and said thank you so much, you know my family would've never done this for me. The he hugged me for a long time crying. When he left i felt depressed, knowing he might just stay over there this time. A month later he facetimed me for the first time and we where so happy to see each other, we would text each other through facebook daily and that kept my calm. A week before valentines day i sent him a card that I personally made with all are pictures on it... Then he called two days later like normally but I screwed up the conversation. I got awkward about a topic and I wasn't talking the whole time on the phone. Then he suddenly hung up. I called him back and told him, you hung up.. And he said, yeah I did.. I said, are you made at me.. He said well what do u think, you know I hate it when you don't say anything on the phone.. So I asked, do u still want to talk to me?.. He said, not really.. I said, ok I'm sorry i really am.. He said, it's ok I'm over it already.. I'll talk to you tomorrow. The next day I got a msg from him.. It hurt me. He said, ok, yesterday u left me thinking on how long Ive been without you and managed to be fine. So I'm sorry, I don't love you anymore and before you start with that no i can do better stuff just think and be an adult. Your a great guy with a lot of love and the person who loves u is lucky, but I don't love u. I have to put my own goals first. So yeah I guess this is goodbye. It's over. I was so sad and couldn't think right.. I was left with no talk from him in a few days, we talked but it was nothing like we would normally talk to each other.. Then a week passed with no talking, and then yesterday the 27 of February, his best friend from here came to my house to facetime him, I let them talk by themselves but I called his friend over to talk to me real quick. I told here to put the earphones on but don't plug them in.. He told her to put in earphones so nobody would hear what he was about to say. So she put them on but didn't plug them in and I was secretly on the side of her, but he didn't know. He said to her through facetime, ok, I don't have a lot of time but that guy me and josh we broke up. He was pulling that whole act that Henry did and i was like been there done that, I don't know what we are, I think we're just friends but now I'll stick to school I guess. But when I'm 18, I'll try a few dates every now and then....... After I heard that whole thing I was heart broken. To know that he dated someone 3 days after we broke up made me feel like shit, I felt like I didn't matter i felt like I was nothing. How can u go into a relationship real quick after breaking up a almost 2 year relationship.. I doesn't make sense, his friend told him a heard everything and he was like in shock because he didn't want me to know. I talked to him later that day just us two. I asked him if that whole time that we facetimed and before when he was crying and about to move.. If he still loved? me that whole time. He said no, he had no feelings for me and he was just being nice and didn't know how to break it to me. So we just ended it for good and that was that. I feel betrayed, lost, confused, depressed.. I don't know how I'll get over my first love, my everything. I built a foundation for us, only for me having to take it down... It's hard. We have had so many loving memories in my home town it's hard not to think about it.. I go to the place where we felt for each other, it hurts. But I feel close to him when I'm there. I still love him. I can't hate him because he showed me many things in life, basically helped me out A LOT. But i do hate his poor choices and the people that might of influenced him to go in a relationship after ours. I thank and love him for being there when I needed him there, he's my best friend and the only person that gets me like no one else. He told me we can't be friends because I still have feelings for him. He said once i loose those feelings and find someone else, we can be friends. I probably won't hear from him in a long time because he's deactivating everything he's on, like Facebook.etc. if i do find someone else, I'll probably have feelings for him still.. And would have to lie that I don't. I don't know how to manage now.. It's really hard to deal with and I find myself crying constantly. The term that I always used,(Always


       

Jane Doe

February 26, 2014 @ (phoenix, AZ)

Tags: breakup family sister cheating drama mexicans will always believe their daughter


This is a really looong story.

Due to mutual friends, I was introduced to this guy. Lets call him Kev. We were only 15. We talked everyday on the phone. I had a feeling that he might like but I shrugged it off as I only saw him as a friend and I was still heart broken from my previous break up with "Stan". I loved Stan with all my heart and I still do! Anyways, after getting to know Kev, he asked me to be his gf 6 months later but I rejected him cause I couldn't get over Stan. Then we got into an argument about something stupid and stopped talking for about 2 months. He approached me when we started talking again. By then, I thought I was starting to get over Stan so I gave Kev a chance. We started dating and I was so happy cause it felt like Stan was starting to fade away in my mind (he never did). 4 months into our relationship, we had sex for the first time. We were both virgins so neither of us knew what to do. Needless to say, it sucked. But I was okay with it at first cause sex isn't everything. However, everytime we have sex, it felt terrible. My friends would suggests things but they never worked! I, on the other hand, became quite the expert in oral sex cause of all the advice my friends gave me. After 6 months of trying, I couldn't take it anymore. I tried breaking up with him but it made me realized how attached I am to him. So we got back together. Shortly after that, his bitchy older sister, "Stacy", found out we're in a serious relationship. Idk what's wrong with her, but she was insane! First, she lied to her family saying I harassed her via texts and they believed her! I was banned from the house until the lie was falling apart. The next time I saw her, she was angry cause Kev told her I went to the movies with my ex "Danny". Danny and I were really close friends. Yeah, he was madly in love with me but I didn't feel the same way. We would talk on and off cause everytime when are going well, he think he'd have a chance, so I would stop talking to him for a while. Anyways, Stacy was furious that I did that. She threatened me and said she will kill my ass next time. I wanted to say something back so I would look like a spineless person cause I'm not at all, but Kev just told me to ignore her. BIG MISTAKE. After that, she probably think I was weak cause she kept threatening me. Family did nothing. All they ever say is to ignore her. Well I got tired of her and I was still sexually frustrated, so I talked to Danny about it. Note this, Danny was saving his virginity for me and he was already 18 at the time. One thing led to another, I ended up sleeping with Danny (he sucked too). I deeply regretted it and confessed my crime to Kev. He was angry but he was glad I told him. In the end, I chose Kev over Danny. Now, all that we've been through, Stacy is still harassing me. And I felt like Kev cared more about his friends and family than me cause he never stood up for me. He claimed he has but I call bs. So once again, I was fed up. Another friend who was also head over heels for me was there to comfort me whenever Stacy would verbally abuse me. Needless to say, I made another mistake. I, again, confessed my crime to Kev and he was beyond angry because they go to the same school so he knew him. Well I tried breaking it off with Kev but everytime, something calls me back. I feel terrible for what I did and Kev always reminded me... No, the harassing never stopped. We almost got into a fight once...(she's 3x my size). I stopped the cheating, I didn't want it to turn into a habit. But then I found out he went and hung out with my friend's twin in the middle of the night. "Supposedly" nothing happened, but the twin said he tried to get at her. Idk who to believed so I dropped it. When we were together for about 1 1/2 year, he took this girl to Comicon. I smelled something fishy but again, he claimed nothing happened. Third strike, I found out he was kiking this girl "Joey". The old messages were already deleted but calling another "cutie" is already enough. We officially ended a month ago. We were together for 2 years and 5 months.

in the end, I learned not to meet the guy's family (especially the sisters), if I'm unhappy I should just leave and not cheat, and lastly, Kev is a lying cunt. He liked to remind me of my crimea but whenever I bring up his, he would always say "I didn't fuck her. You actually went and fucked Danny!" Yeah, he made me felt like shit

I know I made many mistakes in this relationship but damn, my life revolves around him. Idk how to function without him by my side... I should just stop talking to him, huh?

p.s. No, I never stopped thinking about Stan. He was my first love.


       

Jane Doe

February 26, 2014 @ (phoenix, AZ)

Tags: breakup family sister cheating drama mexicans will always believe their daughter


This is a really looong story.

Due to mutual friends, I was introduced to this guy. Lets call him Kev. We were only 15. We talked everyday on the phone. I had a feeling that he might like but I shrugged it off as I only saw him as a friend and I was still heart broken from my previous break up with "Stan". I loved Stan with all my heart and I still do! Anyways, after getting to know Kev, he asked me to be his gf 6 months later but I rejected him cause I couldn't get over Stan. Then we got into an argument about something stupid and stopped talking for about 2 months. He approached me when we started talking again. By then, I thought I was starting to get over Stan so I gave Kev a chance. We started dating and I was so happy cause it felt like Stan was starting to fade away in my mind (he never did). 4 months into our relationship, we had sex for the first time. We were both virgins so neither of us knew what to do. Needless to say, it sucked. But I was okay with it at first cause sex isn't everything. However, everytime we have sex, it felt terrible. My friends would suggests things but they never worked! I, on the other hand, became quite the expert in oral sex cause of all the advice my friends gave me. After 6 months of trying, I couldn't take it anymore. I tried breaking up with him but it made me realized how attached I am to him. So we got back together. Shortly after that, his bitchy older sister, "Stacy", found out we're in a serious relationship. Idk what's wrong with her, but she was insane! First, she lied to her family saying I harassed her via texts and they believed her! I was banned from the house until the lie was falling apart. The next time I saw her, she was angry cause Kev told her I went to the movies with my ex "Danny". Danny and I were really close friends. Yeah, he was madly in love with me but I didn't feel the same way. We would talk on and off cause everytime when are going well, he think he'd have a chance, so I would stop talking to him for a while. Anyways, Stacy was furious that I did that. She threatened me and said she will kill my ass next time. I wanted to say something back so I would look like a spineless person cause I'm not at all, but Kev just told me to ignore her. BIG MISTAKE. After that, she probably think I was weak cause she kept threatening me. Family did nothing. All they ever say is to ignore her. Well I got tired of her and I was still sexually frustrated, so I talked to Danny about it. Note this, Danny was saving his virginity for me and he was already 18 at the time. One thing led to another, I ended up sleeping with Danny (he sucked too). I deeply regretted it and confessed my crime to Kev. He was angry but he was glad I told him. In the end, I chose Kev over Danny. Now, all that we've been through, Stacy is still harassing me. And I felt like Kev cared more about his friends and family than me cause he never stood up for me. He claimed he has but I call bs. So once again, I was fed up. Another friend who was also head over heels for me was there to comfort me whenever Stacy would verbally abuse me. Needless to say, I made another mistake. I, again, confessed my crime to Kev and he was beyond angry because they go to the same school so he knew him. Well I tried breaking it off with Kev but everytime, something calls me back. I feel terrible for what I did and Kev always reminded me... No, the harassing never stopped. We almost got into a fight once...(she's 3x my size). I stopped the cheating, I didn't want it to turn into a habit. But then I found out he went and hung out with my friend's twin in the middle of the night. "Supposedly" nothing happened, but the twin said he tried to get at her. Idk who to believed so I dropped it. When we were together for about 1 1/2 year, he took this girl to Comicon. I smelled something fishy but again, he claimed nothing happened. Third strike, I found out he was kiking this girl "Joey". The old messages were already deleted but calling another "cutie" is already enough. We officially ended a month ago. We were together for 2 years and 5 months.

in the end, I learned not to meet the guy's family (especially the sisters), if I'm unhappy I should just leave and not cheat, and lastly, Kev is a lying cunt. He liked to remind me of my crimea but whenever I bring up his, he would always say "I didn't fuck her. You actually went and fucked Danny!" Yeah, he made me felt like shit

I know I made many mistakes in this relationship but damn, my life revolves around him. Idk how to function without him by my side... I should just stop talking to him, huh?

p.s. No, I never stopped thinking about Stan. He was my first love.


       

Ellie

February 17, 2014 @ (Australia)

Tags: bad breakup turned inspirational story


In this story, the breakup lasted almost four months. Stupid, I know.
When I was 20 I completely fell for my housemate, we'd been living together for a few months and he was a wonderful friend, we ended up dating for ten months. The first six were amazing. We had compatible future plans and lived together like an old married couple, we knew each other better than ourselves, or so I thought.
Over the course of the last four months, things started changing. He still did all the physical things that you'd expect a loving boyfriend to do, lifts home from work, random gifts.. but he started making me feel like I was a screw up. I couldn't do anything right, he was mad all the time at the stupidest things. Sometimes I would cry in our shared bed and he would just roll over to sleep. (remember this, it's relevant.) When my anxiety peaked to a point where I couldn't handle it, I told him it was over. He basically told me that he'd been wanting to leave me for months but didn't want to deal with dumping me, four months of emotional turmoil because he couldn't be bothered just talking to me! He moved out the next day.

There's an inspirational message in here though. After him, I dated a few people who lied and manipulated and all but gave up, until I met someone who I immediately bonded with over our emotionally damaging exes. The first time we had a minor disagreement, we made up right away, and then he rolled over to sleep. Because I'd always known this to mean "I don't like you right now." even though I knew it was ridiculous, I started crying. I tried to hide it, but when he noticed he immediately cuddled me and apologised, turns out he rolled over because his shoulder was really hurting but he refused to get comfortable again until I was happy again and falling asleep. We're still together.

There's never a good reason for anyone to make you feel like you're not good enough, or that you're not loved. If this is happening to you, just know that the worst that can come out of leaving someone who does this to you, is that you'll be single for a while. The best thing that can happen is a major self confidence boost from standing up for yourself and a better man just around the corner.

I'm sorry for making this so deep, but whilst that four months was the worst, most damaging thing that's ever happened to me, I came out the other side better off.


       

Brandon

February 10, 2014 @ (Portland, OR)

Tags: worst breakup, jerk, idiot, heart breaker, regretful


So, I had been dating this girl for about six months with a two month break in between, let's call her "Jackie". It was when we got back together I realized that things weren't going to work. She said that we just need to communicate more, but it never happened, we always just sat in awkward silence until one of us had to leave.
Before we get to the actual break-up, I want to do a little back-story. So a few years back my friends introduced me to this girl, not the one I broke up with, let's call her "Amanda." Amanda was a nice girl from the very start, She invited me to all her parties, and helped me out with my homework and essays. She was funny, she would often make fun of my now best friend, "Franklin," which I found hilarious. She was also super smart, she had one of the highest GPAs in the school, and passed even the most advanced classes. And I swear she is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, and to this day I am deeply in love with her. Unfortunately, when I told her about my feelings, she dropped the F-Bomb on me. Yep, that was my first ever "friend-zone." I was crushed, I never felt so terrible in my life. But I stayed adamant, and year after year I would ask her, and year after year she denied me. I realize that she can make whatever choice she wants, but I couldn't help but to want to be with her. I guess she must have gotten tired of me asking, because after the fourth confession, she suggested I go out with Jackie, whom I had met a month earlier. I knew she had a thing for me, and Amanda said we would be cute together. I don't know why, but the words "cute together" hit me really hard. Just the thought of being with someone other than her felt wrong. Things did go wrong eventually, I guess that's what happens when you go out with someone because the love of your life asks you to. I probably should have seen that coming. After dancing with Jackie at one of the parties, I became infatuated with her. I asked her out on a date, and she of course said yes. Now I had never gone out on a date before so I didn't know exactly what to do. And no one told me that movie dates are the worst first date you could go on. We sat in the theater eating our popcorn, eyes glued to the screen, not even looking at each other; the first of many awkward experiences. The worst part was that Amanda offered to drive us around since neither I or Jackie bothered to learn how to. Amanda couldn't have been more happy to see me going out with another girl, which I understand is something friends do, but when that friend has recently broken your heart, it kinda stings a little.
Fast forward four months. Now at this point we've decided to break things off for a while. Jackie has started dating this guy, let's call him "Matt." I had no problem with Jackie dating Matt, in fact I was happy that she found someone she could actually talk to. Matt and I are also good friends so, I was happy for both of them. Now with no one to distract my feelings, I began to feel old emotions rising again, I would often hang out with Amanda like we used to, but not in a way that would give any hints, just talking, and study sessions. I should have realized then that this was what it was meant to be like. Being single wasn't a bad thing, in fact I love being single. It makes you appreciate all the free time you once had to hang out with friends and get work done. This didn't last very long, because Jackie and Matt eventually broke up. I never got the exact details of why or how, but I do know that Jackie broke up with Matt, because she realized that she still loved me even though she was the one who broke up with me for Matt in the first place. Matt explained to me that he cared for her, and he wanted to see her happy, and that I should take her back. And I, being the stupid confused kid at the time, said "of course." And so, we began dating each other once more. The rekindled infatuation didn't last long, and I realized about a month in that things weren't going to work. Now came the biggest problem, how to break it to her. Now, just because I wasn't in love with Jackie doesn't mean I didn't care about her. She was genuinely sweet and innocent, and I couldn't bare to see her sad or upset.
It was only a few weeks later that I built up the courage to tell her, mind you I gave no clue as to how I really felt, in fact I made it seem like everything was just dandy, which in hindsight wasn't the best idea. Of course, when I told her she was really confused. She asked me "Why? Why?" and I said "I'm sorry, I just don't think you're the one for me." At this point her sadness began to turn to anger. Something I had never seen in her before suddenly began to show. She said, "how dare you have the audacity to lead me on for so long. You know what? Fuck you." The words "fuck you" would have hurt less if she hadn't smiled and started walking away. But as I sat there, ashamed of what I had done, she did the worst thing she could have done to me. She turned back with tears running down her face and said, "I really did love you." And continued walking away. That must have been one of the worst days of my life. Eventually the sadness subsided, and she forgot all about me, which was probably for the best. Not once in our whole relationship did we ever say "I love you" to one another. But if I could go back and change what I did, I would have never gone out with her. I would have never gotten back together with her. I would have never led her on to believe that I loved her. And I would have never broken her heart.


       

Shabda

February 07, 2014 @ (India)

Tags: bad break ups


Hey!!!
I want to share my story just to ease some pain...You know the worst part is when you have no one around you to share your feelings.....
I am from a typical Indian family.A girl who has always loved her parents more than anything in her life. Wanted to be with them always, take care of them. Infact I had decided that I'm never going to marry anyone ever.So, I never allowed myself to have any soft corner for anyone. I was happy but then someday I got a message from some old batchmate of mine on Facebook. Gradually we started chatting, sharing thoughts, jokes, started talking on phone and literally got addicted to each other. I started considering him as my best friend. He has always been real nice to me, always convinced me that one day I will find someone who will accept myself with all my responsibilities and will respect and love my parents like his own. And then after 6 months the day came when he proposed me. I was already having a hint of this from the past couple of days. I really liked him but had never thought about him like that because we had same gotra (we Indians are prohibited to marry someone with same gotra) . I never wanted to disclose my feelings to him but also didn't want to hurt him with a 'NO', So I told him this all gotra thing and convinced him to just be friends. But with time we just got drifted away and started living in an illusion that something will happen and we will be together in future...Decided that we will convince our parents and will marry with their permission....Started planning our lives together, fully committed, making all the promises to be together till the end, never realizing that they were all just dreams...We were madly, deeply in love. We completely accepted eachother as husband and wife...I was sure of one thing that it was not physical attraction though he was no less than Prince charming...I mean how could it be ...We haven't met each other for the last 7 years...
Time passed....We were so in love... I had never realized that this much love existed on earth. Even the feeling of having him with me made me so comfortable, cozy, relaxed...I felt so complete with him.....I never even required to say what I was feeling,,,we just not needed any words to express each other...
Then one day somehow my parents found out about us....I told them how much I love him and also assured them that I will never do anything without their permission....They were so mad at me...They said straight forward NO just because I being a female was having higher education that him...There was a big emotional drama......I tried my best to convince them but all in vain......And finally asked me to choose between them and him...This was even before I could tell them about gotra thing.....After all this I realized one thing that they are never going to accept us and if I somehow force them to or do something on my own, he will never get the respect he deserves....I love him but I respect him more.....I just can't bear this fact that my family don't respect my husband.....So, I broke up with him...Told him that they think that we will have ego clashes in future....He hates me for this...I know...Infact I hate myself too for this.....I feel so sorry that I couldn'd keep all the promises we made.....Everytime I think about this it feels like something cuts me from inside.....I know in this relationship it was me who was unfair.....It's been long time since we broke up but still every night I silently weep thinking about him...I still love him and miss him so much.....He was my first and last love......I know I will never be able to feel the same way again.....I am all broken.....People says that time heals all the wounds but in my case I feel like this pain is increasing day by day....This regret, this pain is my punishment.....And now I myself don't want to let it go...At least in this way he is with me....I know that I can never have him back but still wait for him forever.....And if some day I got to know about his marriage I will be the first person to be happy for him,,,at least he has moved on....


       








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