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Broken (part 3)

April 21, 2015 @ (toronto)

He says she has made his life a living hell and he wants to get out. I say whatever makes you happy and he gives me this smile that makes my heart stop. I lie to him and say i don't have a boyfriend. I go out of my apartment and call him. I say he's here. He says great now go and have fun i love you. I do too i say and don't mean it. Because all of a sudden i realize no other amount of love will ever come as close as the way i love him. I finally realize when people say if its love you will know. I don't care that he has two kids, i don't care that his wife is a bitch, i don't care that he has so much baggage that he literally is the baggage claim. I care about none of it. Because when i am with him i need nothing. The world without him means nothing. And what is a world without nothing to live for? So we go on vacation. We leave the country and go away. At first we are friend and nothing else. It starts with silly jokes, past memories, the brush of his hands against mine, the way he accidentally touches me, the way he pokes me when he thinks i am not listening. Then before you know it you're both falling madly in love. I had already been in love but this time its his turn to feel what i feel. And he does. He feels it with a passion i did not see coming. Then the planning of the future comes. He promises me a grand wedding, the telling of our families, the happiness our fathers would feel at the news. We talk about how we would raise his kids and whether i should learn how to cook healthy options. He leaves and i cry at the airport. I break up with my boyfriend and forget all about him. As if he never existed. I stay up until 4 am everyday so i can be on his time. I sleep all day and am up all nigh. He's worth it i say. I get too tired to go to work, too tired to go out with friends he's all i think of. He calls he says its over the divorce is final and he will send me a ticket to vista him after january (2015). I cry whether its from joy or the foreshadowing of our future i can't tell. I quit my job, i sell the few things i owe, i pack my life up and go to vegas with my best friends and he hits Paris with his. I am on the phone with him on new years i say happy new years love of my life. He says happy new years my soul but i have to go now my guy friends are waiting for me. I feel a pang of something a flutter of wrongness but i ignore it and keep on dousing champagne. I smile and think to myself this year is going to be great.

Ryan

April 16, 2015 @ (United States)

Tags: Bad Breakup

Exactly a year ago I met someone special, the moment I set my eyes on her I knew she was something of one of a kind, I was a typical high school student and she was as well. It took me a month before I worked the courage to speak to her and my gut was right, she was the most beautiful person I have ever met. She was weird and quirky and funny and stupidly silly. The school year ended and thats when it started to get serious. We spent our summer together and did many things, she taught me how to swim(because I never trusted anyone around water due to my hydrophobia) and we went on vacation together(her parents payed for my trip lol) It was honestly one of the happiest times of my life. We barely fought and if we did we made up each time like it was nothing and moved on with our days. I grew blinded by my affection soon after, I loved this girl and I was terrified to admit it. Soon after the next school year started, I could feel the distance happening. Which caused me to become jealous, scared, etc I was panicking and didn't know what to do. I could see it coming and it did. She broke up with me, telling me she didn't want a relationship right now blah blah blah. I crashed and burned, I was so devastated that I just wanted to hurt myself(of course I didn't) she then led me on for a few months, would kiss me, try and comfort me when I was down, she even came over to my house and slept with me, but in the end she would always use that excuse and it pushed me even further down... causing me to push her even further away without realizing it... Ever sense then I've just been realizing what I did wrong and been bettering myself, dating new people most guys would say my life has been pretty great for some of the girls that are chasing me.. but all I can continue to think about is her. The one that got away. That all I can do is pray because I knew her reason of leaving me was complete crap, especially since she's with someone else now. I just wish her the best while I sit and wish I had the best. She's still deep in my heart and I see people hating on their ex and everything, but even though she did me wrong I can't help but wish she has the best for her. I just know that if I was with her now, things would have been much different and she'd still be mine, but that's my new found confidence that I will hope to be able to use with someone of the same or better amount to offer... I've learned a lot and even though I still am upset about her, maybe we're better off. Or maybe it was the bad timing, I'm now 18 and i'm still young. Life ahead of me is something to shine about.

Michael

July 03, 2014 @ (New York City)

Tags: #BadBreakup, #ToxicRelationship, #BipolarDisorder, #Crazypeople

I met my ex-girlfriend on an online dating website and things got serious pretty quickly. She had bipolar disorder but was not getting treated. She lived with her parents and had a rocky relationship with her domineering and controlling mother. I always got the impression that her parents viewed my ex-girlfriend as a disappointment in comparison to her two older sisters who were both married with their own families. It seemed like her parents were happy with just about anybody who take my ex-girlfriend off her hands.

Initially I got along with her parents. I attended family gatherings, holidays and even went on a vacation with them. Over time, however, things changed. It started during a dinner we had with her parents. Her mother had a habit of scolding my ex-girlfriend about seemingly petty things. Even though it was an awkward situation that was uncomfortable, her mother was very unapologetic and instead got upset at me for not talking.

After two years together, we started to run into some problems. My ex-girlfriend was pressuring me into getting engaged, mainly so she could get my health insurance and get treated for her bipolar disorder. She even talked about eloping first so she didnâ€™t have to wait to claim my insurance. I started to feel that the relationship was a little one-sided. We practically spent all of our free time together and I was bothered she never showed much interest in any of my hobbies and was always very vocal about how stupid they were. Another problem were her mood swings which often lead to arguments, which occasionally took place in public places.

After we broke up, I went out on my own while my ex-girlfriend immediately jumped into another relationship. Also during that time, her parents sort of relented and allowed her to get treated for her bipolar disorder. After a few months, we both realized that we still had feelings for each other and decided to get back together, promising that things would be different.

At first not everyone was excited that we were back together, mainly her parents. They were upset because they believed her new boyfriend wouldâ€™ve eventually married her and because they believed I had caused my ex-girlfriendâ€™s mood swings. My ex-girlfriendâ€™s mother was upset at me over an incident that happened a year ago that never occurred. Even though my ex-girlfriend believed her, I was suspicious of her mother.

Initially everything seemed to be going great. The relationship was a lot more balanced and because my ex-girlfriend was taking medication she wasnâ€™t getting those mood swings that plagued us last time. Around the holidays, things started to turn. I was driving my ex-girlfriend to the airport and my car got a flat tire. As I pulled into the gas station, she started screaming at me, like she did before she was taking her medication. It was so bad that the attendants felt sorry for me and gave me the replacement tire for free. Even though my ex-girlfriend wrote off the incident as holiday-related stress, it was the first indication that something wasnâ€™t right.

Over the next month, my ex-girlfriend continued to act erratically and decided to break up with me on Valentineâ€™s Day, only to change her mind the following day and the same pattern would occur every few weeks. Also during that time, my ex-girlfriend discovered that her mother had tricked her into not taking her bipolar medication and had told her doctor that she no longer needed them causing her doctor to believe she was misdiagnosed.

Eventually, my ex-girlfriendâ€™s mother began to act even more coldly towards me. During an argument over the phone, I overheard her mother screaming in background and demanded that she break up with me and get it over with. Every time I saw her mother, I tried to be friendly or polite to her but she either scowl at me or storm out of the room. She continued to badmouth me and even made bizarre accusations about me. She claimed that I wasnâ€™t serious about getting married and claimed that I was gay. She even told family members that she didnâ€™t think that I was a nice person.

By the spring, my ex-girlfriendâ€™s mood swings started to get worse. One night, my ex-girlfriend had too much to drink and she started grinding against me at a restaurant. After I quietly pushed her off of me and told her to stop, she started screaming at me and eventually pushed me out the door. When I returned, she continued to scream at me and had to be told to leave by the manager.

On the way home, I told her we were finished but she wanted to talk. She asked for another chance and promised to stop drinking. When I wouldnâ€™t reconsider, she got upset demanded that I get out of her car and kicked me in my ribs and threw a half empty wine bottle out the window. The following day, she changed her mind and tried to convince me to give her another chance. After she got her friends to contact me, I felt like I had no choice but to give in.

In the following weeks. My ex-girlfriendâ€™s mood swings got worse and she even got pushy and demanding. When I tried breaking up with her again, she again forced me to reconsider and sometimes held me hostage in her house until I reconsidered. Personally I felt trapped. When my ex-girlfriend and I got back together, this was not what I had envisioned. Now I felt depressed and noticed that I had gained weight.

I decided that I needed an outlet for my feelings and decided to sign up for an obstacle course race. My ex-girlfriend immediately thought it was a dumb idea and was upset that I ask her permission. She also hated that I joined a Sunday softball league with a friend, even though she worked on that day. She always expected me to stay home and meet with her after she got off of work.

The night before the race, my ex-girlfriend decided to rehash an old argument about how she felt that I wasnâ€™t committed to her and believed her mother was about me. The argument continued as I was driving her home and when I tried to break up with her again, she lost her temper and started hitting me over the head with a book as I was driving. Afterwards, I was forced to change my mind after she refused to leave my car. The following week, I finally broke up with my ex-girlfriend after I cancelled my plans with her and she furiously berated me on the phone. Unlike last summer, this was for good.

In the months that followed, my ex-girlfriend continued to try to contact me.
Sometimes she scolded me for breaking up with her and occasionally she begged for another chance. She even would scream at remaining mutual friends when they wouldnâ€™t tell her any information they had on me. I also learned that she was in a serious car accident that some of her friends believe might been a suicide attempt. Eventually, she stopped trying to contact me and I learned that she had started dating another guy and was once again taking bipolar medication.

As for me, I rediscovered how to have fun again. I made a lot of new friends on the softball team I joined that summer. It helped that we won the championship and I ended up making the game winning catch. I also lost 50 pounds and have since competed in 3 more obstacle course races. I even started dating again and am currently in the early stages of a new relationship. Itâ€™s been fun and I can't remember the last time I felt this happy or excited about my life.

Nina

November 13, 2013 @ (UK)

Tags: bad breakup, sad, douche

I had a 2 year relationship, with my ex. I loved him from the beggining and I gave him everything.He was my first relationship. He was always my priority but I wasn;t his. At six months he asked me to have a break I said ok no matter how hard it hurt, he came back and i accepted him.After 2 weeks i saw a conversation with his friend about another girl and how was he going to approach him. I broke up with him, but then after beggin for my forgiveness i accepted him back.Again. Another six months pass, and after coming back from vacation with his friends he tells me he kissed another girl while he was drunk and asks for my forgiveness, and i forgive him.AGAIN. And at last after we reach two years together, he talks to me on fb and asks me to break up cause he says he doesnt know if he loves me anymore. I said ok no matter how it hurt. After two days he comes back and asks me to get back together, but this time i didn't forgive and i decided not to forget, no matter how much i loved him, no matter how much it hurt. It's been 3 months since we broke up and I'm still sad and messed up but I'm not going back!

PerplexedGirl

September 28, 2013 @ (Cali)

Tags: bad breakup, heartbroken, perplexed, sad, tears, crying

I dated my last boyfriend for a year and a half. We met in a waiting room where we waited for our kids a couple times a week. We had so much in common and hit it off immediately. We went on wkend adventures and had a blast. After only a few months he told me he was in love with me. He said he wanted to tell me earlier, but he was afraid to. I was so charmed by him. His ex wife was a bit crazy and they fought over their kid all the time. His ex was mad that I had dinner with him and the kid and yelled at him that they agreed to wait until dating someone 6 months before they spent time with the kid. (Which of course, she did not follow). So he then has us wait 8 months before I can spend time with him and the kid together. When he finally decides it's okay, we all spend LOTS of time together and he and I spend all our child free weekends together. He tells me I am "the one", "It's meant to be", that he has never been so happy, he is so in love, etc. He texts daily, writes me a poem, declares his love all the time. In person he is affectionate and kind. We discuss buying land together and aspects of our home we will have. We plan a vacation together with our kids. We go on the trip and everyone has a lot of fun. He gets in some arguments with his kid related to her mother, but otherwise everything was fine. When we get home he tells me thanks for the awesome vacation and a text that says "I love you so so so so much, now more than ever".
Fast forward one month after vacation. He breaks up with me in an email!!
He says that some things have occured to him and that he could not live with me and so what is the point and goodbye.
I am shocked and ask to meet with him. He says yes, but then never does. He won't answer his phone. His kid calls me one day to say how much she misses me and that she is afraid that I don't like her anymore because of her dad. I assure her that is not true, but I have no idea what her father told her because he will not talk to me. He texts me the next day and says that telling his daughter anything other than "it didn't work out" is inappropriate!! and to lose her number!! As if I called her!! ???
Two months after the breakup he sends me another email saying that he is sorry, but not asking for forgiveness. ?
Then he proceeds to tell me the 3 kinds of love in the world, one for your kids, one for your sister/mother and then the kind you can't breathe without the person....and that I fall into the sister/mother category for him. After all those months of love declarations and of course lots of sex, I fall into the mother/sister category??? WTF?
I have no tears left for this freak and have moved on. Thank goodness.

John

September 26, 2013 @ (Hidden)

Tags: Bad Break Up, Heartbreaking

So I've been dating this girl since senior year of high school, and we both had strong feelings for each other. She decides she wants to keep our relationship together long distance as she's staying home in California and I moved all the way out to Chicago for school. I want the same thing, because we both believed we were the one for each other. She told me she loved me every night before I went to sleep and promised to be the best, most loyal girlfriend possible. We stay together, I never even looked at a chick at a bar or anywhere I was on the weekends that showed any interest because I really didn't. I was the definition of loyal. I came home for christmas break, all went well, and then back to Chicago for me before I knew it. We stayed together long distance until I came home in the summer of 2013. She dumped me a week after my birthday in June (which was about a month into me being home for summer) because she felt I was a liar, dishonest, and not loyal. This came out of literally fucking nowhere. Distraught, heartbroken, and every word for "I'm not making it through this" found in the dictionary, I went through 2 weeks of alcohol abuse and couldn't even enjoy the family vacation I went on either. After I got home from my vacation, the next day actually, we got back together because she told me she knew in her heart that I was what she wanted and she really made me believe it. We got back together, stayed together for the next month and a half until I went back to school in Chicago, and after 3 weeks of being here she told me she has no idea what she wants and thinks that I'm absolutely the last thing she needs. She said after I left for school, even looking at my name when I'd text her back made her more and more not want to respond to it at all. And here I am now, in Chicago, stalking her instagram (deleted everything that had to do with me), twitter (posting tweets about another guy), and even tumblr which no man should ever go on as it is. So there ya go, I'm in one shitty situation. Plus her final text to me was "lets see how things go when you're back" and included that she "still wants to be friends and not strangers."

Asdfghjklm

May 14, 2013 @ (Belgium)

Tags: ignored, heartbroken

So... I had a girlfriend & we were happy. We texted 24/7 & my friends would kill to have a relationship like we had.

The week before she went on her vacation with her family, she became annoying. She was just... a different girl. She was upset all the time & she yelled at people (especially me)I downloaded Whatsapp so we could talk without high costs. So, she went on vacation & we talked the first day. Everything was great, she had much fun. After that, she didn't answer anymore. I thought "Maybe she doesn't have time, or no internet" then two days before she went home, I spoke to my best friend. He told me "T. is hilarious @ twitter" So I asked him which T. he ment & He answered "You know, T. your girlfriend." I couldn't believe it so I asked him "How long has she been on twitter?" And he told me she was on twitter for the past 2 days, hours in a row. My heart was shattered by those words. I was very upset. The day she went home I texted her again, still no reply. So I broke up with her with tears in my eyes & those words "I'm done. If you don't want to talk to me, just tell me. You know I'll never get upset for that kind of stuff." So the next day she showed up explaining me why she started to ignore me. She told me she wasn't ready for a serious relationship & that she had a hard time at home. I bought it. I told her that even though we broke up I'll always be there for her. But she just deleted me out of her life. A few days later, she comes back around again to talk with MY bestfriends. She asked me to never talk to her again, so I did. The days passed by as I tried not to show any emotions. Then, after a week, she started to flirt with my best friend... (The one she spoked to @ twitter)I was BROKEN. I started to believe that she'd never loved my at all. I started to realise that the real reason behind our breakup was my best friend. She fell in love with my best friend, who is also in a relationship. But the worst of all is... She made everyone around her think that I'm the one who broke HER.

Nan El

January 01, 2013 @ (New York)

Tags: Cheating with co-worker, 3 years of lies

Over three years ago I started dating a man that was selfish, a cheater, a liar and just plain self centered. He admitted this to me. I was hesitant at first but it didn't take long for him to have me believing that he wanted to be a better man for me. We worked together for years and once he transferred to another department, that's when we started dating. He asked me to marry him after just a few months and treated me as if I was the only woman on earth. We spent constant time together and he would look me in the eyes everyday and tell me how much he loves and adores me and wants to be with only me the rest of his life. I introduced him to my kids and he moved in with us shortly thereafter. He lived with us for one year and during that time he started drifting, working more...going out longer with his friends. He started telling me he was having a hard time living with kids (who I only have half the week) and he only saw them maybe twice a week. He told me he couldn't live with us anymore and it just wasn't "him". The day after he moved out he was begging for me back and this went on and off for a year and a half. We broke up last December of 2011 because he couldn't handle things...all while still claiming to love me and not want anyone else. For about 6 weeks we went back and forth about our love for each other then he said he needs me and promises to be the man II need. I took him back and we were together up until October of this past year 2012....still back and forth with his feelings...but kept promising to marry me and move back in. I broke up with him in October when he told me he couldn't take vacation to Disney World with me and the kids which was planned and paid for and was happening in 3 weeks!! He continued to text and call me crying that he needs me, etc... But his gram was sick and he didn't want to go anywhere. He made me feel guilty for taking vacation without him! When I returned right after Thanksgiving, I started finding out some things from people and emails, etc.. He started sleeping with one of my employees last year when we broke up...she works very closely with me. They broke up when he got back together with me...but then he contacted her to "get together" in April, May and November. We went to a concert together in June and they acted like they didn't even know each other then went to get beer for 20 minutes together! At that point I had no reason to think anything of it. Once I confronted both of them, they denied even knowing each other and called me crazy. She ultimately confessed but they are both still claiming it wasn't all year long. She has had boyfriends this whole time as well. I am now in a situation where they both still work for the company and she still reports to me. They act as if nothing is wrong and life is good....they show no remorse. By the way, she is 12 years younger than him! I have so much pain and it is in my face everyday. How do I get over it?

Dislike Chandra

November 05, 2012 @ (Duluth, MN)

Tags: Break up story

When you told me you had found someone, I was worried. I thought there wasn’t possibly a way you cheated on me because I knew you. I trusted you. You weren’t that person. You said you hadn’t started dating her yet and that you were “just friends” but that you’d spent the night at her apartment on her couch a few times, that you’d gone out for drinks, etc. I digested this news. You had found someone else. I begged, I cried, I starved myself for several weeks – because I couldn’t understand how you, someone who I thought to be a good person, could have cheated on me.

I read her Facebook updates and it appeared that you had been dating since April, going on little vacation trips together, meeting her family, etc., all the while you were still dating me. You used my car to visit her, to bring her to work, and to take trips out in the country with her. When I was extremely ill, you claimed you were at a cabin with your parents and elderly grandmother, so I would have to take an ambulance. Turns out you were with her in the country, with my car.

You didn’t even come clean with me, I had asked for honesty. Please just tell me how long you’d been dating, what had gone on behind my back, etc. I felt made a fool of and humiliated. I was embarrassed that I defended you when you were “at a friends house” (turns out you were spending the night with her), or when you were hours late coming home from work, I figured you stopped to hang out with a friend – turns out I was completely over-trusting.

When I found out the truths splattered all over her Facebook, knowing that she had been married and her ex-husband had cheated on her and caused the end of the marriage less than a year before you two started dating, I was angry. How can another woman agree to date a man and put another lady in the same position she herself was in? She knew how this kind of betrayal hurt.

There was a time after the cheating when you made me feel like the cheating was entirely my fault and that if I tried to change some things about my behaviors and my income situation, you’d still date me. You claimed you wanted to be friends. You cried like a baby several times. You insisted that you didn’t hate me.

I moved out. We broke up. Things were spiraling out of control – and there you were being cruel to me any chance you got. I ran into you and your new “fiancé” (you got engaged after four months of dating, all of which were done when you were cheating on me, really), and instead of showing some respect for me being in the same vicinity as you two – you made out the entire night for hours on end in front of my friends and me! Talk about disrespectful.

You couldn’t understand what caused me to hate you. You couldn’t understand what caused me to hate her? You wanted me to play nicely and be kind. I’ve moved on with my life, I’ve met someone I can trust and depend on. We bonded over the horrible things you did to me, how low you were as a person, and we laugh at you. I’m glad we’re able to be together – but I’m still angry at you for NOT apologizing for the kinds of cruel things you did to me.

I’d be ashamed for your mother and father that they raised such a horrific human. You lied to your parents while you were cheating, you didn’t even invite them to your wedding – because you’ve changed. You’ve become the most evil person I’ve ever known, and it’s sad – because you use to be a good person.

I’d like to say I wish you health and happiness, but I wish almost every ill the world can throw at you. Every impossible situation where you’ll find pain, I wish that for you. I hope one day karma throws you several things at one time and you can feel what it feels like to not have a choice in a situation, to be made a fool of, and to hurt.

I know in my heart, you will cheat on her. Once she doesn’t pay enough attention to you. Once she gets too busy working and being a mother, she’ll forget to give you the insane amount of attention you require and you’ll do horrible things to her like you’ve done to me. The only difference is, she’ll deserve it.

Katherine

May 14, 2012 @ (Oooops)

Tags: ex 2

so i have been seeing this guy kyle on and off for about 4 years. we are only on and off cause he left the first time for his best friends girlfriend. so i went for his best friend then we got back together then i left him for someone else and once again we got back together then he was talking to this girl whose a slut and got with her so we broke up and while they were going out he was cheating on her with me.then we were like together and he randomly ignores me and doesnt talk to me and he leaves. he promises he wont ignore me and he wont leave but he still has a record of doing it.this year for spring break i went to myrtle beach and i saw him the day before i left and i wanted to give back his bracelet and talk to him when im back cause we both would get fuked up and feel guilty or regret something. so he begged me to talk to him and keep the bracelet ... i did and during the vacation he ignored me. then randomly he would say eveythings fine. the day i got home he lost hope saying that its not working for him...kyle and me tried again and he got mad at me and wouldnt talk to me. so i went to his house to speak to him and when we spoke he wouldnt look at me. and then a few days he was acting weird. and yestarday he long boarded to my house just to see me... he says it will be different this time and he wont lose hope and he will do anything for us to work out. idk what to do. should i try it or let him go? we love eachother but i dont wanna always get hurt and him ignore me uk? what should i do