Claudia

May 31, 2017 @ (san francisco)

Tags: bad break up


We went out for 3 years and we started going out my sophomore year of high school. i was talking to another guy at the time, but knew it wasn't going to work out. i tweeted how i wanted iced coffee and he said he was going to bring me one. So he did and i have him a hug and i felt a spark in a hug? i asked him about it later and he felt the same way. He asked me out on a date and till this day it was just magical and when he kissed me I always felt the fireworks, even with our last kiss and i knew we were going to be over. we had our struggles of course. i was insecure and suffered with depression and anxiety. i began to distant myself and hurt him when i was trying to help myself. he tried being there for me and eventually gave up. he went out with his friends and partied while i cried wishing i was making him happy. i caused his so much stress and that's what ended it. i made him heartless and made him not love me anymore. he eventually went to talking to other girls especially his so called "sister". i went through his phone and found texts between them. i cried for days and just wished that we could get back to how things were. the first time we broke up was before out 3 years when he told me he would grind with other girls especially his so called "sister" and slept in the same bed with her. i couldnt do it anymore and went crazy. he called me crying telling me he wanted to be with me. that's all i wanted, to be with him. i couldn't trust him so i would question him so much to the point where he tells me he doesn't love me anymore and he couldn't do it. i was so heartbroken but i eventually got him back. that was my mistake, i chased him even though he was the main reason why we broke up, even though we had so many problems and we added on to them. we truly were happy for a couple of months and i thought we were over the bad times and moving on to better things and building a future we always talked about. i had my own problems and made him into a guy i didn't know. i can't blame him for everything but i owned up to my own problems. once it was our final break-up he had no feelings for me at all while i was completely heart broken. i know i can never get over him because he was my first for everything. but all i can think about it that he doesnt care about me even though i did everything in my power to do everything for him, while he couldn't do anything for me. i hope one day he is happy and will treat a girl right, but i will always be heart broken over him. i know if he came back to me in a week, a month, or even years, i would take him back in a heartbeat.


       


 

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