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Perplexed

January 31, 2015 @ (Northeast US)

A few weeks ago I experienced a break-up. Except it wasn't really a break-up. The man with whom I felt I was falling in love with and whom I sincerely felt was in love with me....disappeared. I reached out to him twice within a week after his whoodini act, and have not received a response. Its as if he just evaporated. I feel like I've been imagining all the time that we spent together, all the mornings we woke up cuddling and all the amazingly passionate nights that we shared.

Where is my boyfriend????

I'm writing because I am confused and would like to share a bit of my story. I was aggressively pursued by a sensitive, attractive, fun and interesting guy. I didn't do any of the pursuing, it was all on his end. After 5 months of dating him and him telling me he wanted to spend his life with me and loved me, and took me out, and dinners, and drinks, and fun and blah blah blah....we spent New Years together and the next week he prepared this amazing "honeymoon night" in his apartment with candle and tea and incense, and everything perfect. He gave my a gift after we had sex and we cuddled and had a fun night...

We kissed in the morning and said goodbye.

I haven't heard from him since. This was a month ago. I'm totally confused and angry that I was sold on this bologna. After 5 months of dating. I don't understand. I now want to send him a message and tell him off and call him out on his lunacy, but I am stopping myself. I have so many questions. So much to say, but I don't want to give him the satisfaction of even knowing that I'm giving him one more second of my thoughts.

I seriously feel like I hate him right now. I hope he is miserable and I hope that he has the worst Valentine's Day ever. I hope he realizes what a coward he is for not breaking things off more respectfully. I feel hurt, confused, and disrespected.

I want to move on, but its hard when you don't have a real ending, and so many questions. I know I deserve more, but I was just blindsided!! I didn't even really like him that much until recently.

Moreover, I hope this experience makes me more aware in the future, and I hope I am able to grow from this. I'm happy to share my story and know that I am not alone. None of us are. There is someone better out there, but in the mean time, it is not easy.