Searching for "hope"

140 Results For 'hope'

Payuyi

April 19, 2012 @ (new york)

Tags: sad

We were eachothers first love, everything was soo perfect untill one day when we got in a fight because he said he was going on a date with a girl, of course i got mad and told him not to talk to me anymore then he told me that i was going to be that date and i apologized but i guess it was too late by now he told me that it was best if we broke up because i jump to conclusions and the distance. The next day we got back together but then for a month and about 2 weeks things werent the same anymore we were on and off, i kept leaving him because he wasnt sweet and i just felt unapreciated all the time but my love for him was so strong that i kept beggin him to come back and he did but each time it was getting harder and harder. I did tell him how he made me feel and he said he was 'trying' but it didnt feel like it.
He really hates my Bff and one day when i was feeling really bad and unapreciated i told my bestfriend to say he was in love with me, he got mad and started hating him even more, at first i was a little happy knowing he cared, thats all i ever wanted him to care for me and love me as much as i love him.
One day after our last breakup we were talking and then i got confused with somthing he said and i thought he said my bff told him everything, *by this time me and my bff got in a fight so i thought he was trying to get back at me* so i explained to him y i told my bff to say that , i told him i just wanted him to care but he just got really mad and acted like he hated me, i know that was a really bad idea and i regret doing that.. he told me to hurt my bff and i said ok i was *i wasnt tho* and i told him how i felt, that i loved him and that i just want him to be sweet again but all he kept saying was 'ok' to my long messages.. he has my fB info and he read a conversation with another friend where i said me and my bff made up, he sent me a message telling me he never felt this used before and that i lied to him all the times when i said i loved him.
i told him he had no right to get upset becasue he wanted me to screw off and that i did love him
thn i told him that i was really sorry and that i was always gonna love him and that i was gonna leave him alone now.
Well i ended my friendship with my bff cuz i knew that was wat he wanted even tho it wasnt gonna change anything between us, i havent been on fB at all in 2 weeks.. ive been trying to get over him thats why i havent been on but part of me says maybe he realized how important you are to him this time you were gone. Im really scared of loggin in Fb because wat if he already has another girl i dnt wanna see that and get hurt and wat if when i log in i find a message saying he wants me back and now everything will change to the way it was , wat if all we needed was a lil break
idk im just stuck i have hope that everything will go back to how it was before but at the same time im scared of finding out somthing i dnt wanna know
*i dnt have him as a friend on fb anymore but i cn still see his picture cuz he was the last message*
i want to move on but its soo hard idk wat to do.. any advise? :/

Jannet

March 22, 2012 @ (somewhere)

Tags: bestfriends

*Im a teenager*
it was in Jan, this year when me and lets say his names BOB started going out but im going to far...so it was october when we met and we met thru his girlfriend(lets say her names SUZY) so SUZY was one of my bestfriends at the time (now we completely hate eachother but thats a whole other story) and BOB and SUZY were going out anyways so we started texting and then we finally saw eachother at school and we starting talking alot so much it became daily and we became bestfriends. and yea it wasnt actually "bestfriends" cuz we had only known eachother for about a month. but it felt that way to us... he told me everything and i did to...then him and suzy broke up..but then he met my other bestfriend(lets say her name is KIM) and he starting liking her which then turned into love and KIM started going out w him.. so then they broke up and then they started going out again and then on new years eve about 12 minutes after midnight we were texting and he told me he loved me but he was buzzed cuz he had been drinking a little for new years and so i thought he ws joking so the next day i asked him if it was true and he said "only if i wanted it to be" then about on jan 9 he broke up w KIM... FOR ME..i couldnt believe it..he was saying that she was the girl for him and then he dumps her for me! and so he said his love for her was never true and that he knew it was for me cuz he KNEW me and cuz i understood him..i believed him bc i felt and still feel the same way..but he is a trublemaker and so he got suspened from school and got grounded from his fone and hanging out so our other connections were failed and i didnt see him for about 2 weeks and then when he got back he asked me out then two days later he got expelled and we didnt talk about a month later i finally gave up on him returing back and i broke up w him over facebook..he said it was "cool we could still be friends" that was the last i heard of him... i knew our friendship was broken too..we were so close that i never knew that one mistake like that could end it.. and now on i still hope one day we will end up together or hopefully be friends again..even if i only knew him for 5 months he was the only person i have ever felt that close to.. so do you think he ever did love me?

Trisha

March 29, 2012 @ (Cali)

Tags: Lesbian, blindside, experiment, straight

Background knowledge: I am a 24 year old lesbian, known my whole life and came out at 16. She is a almost 23 year old "free spirit" never had been with a girl before but always said she'd never closed it out of her options.

We first talked in May of 2011 and there was instantly a connection between us. She asked me to hang out in the beginning of June for the first time and we hit it off. We went out with a group of friends but me and her were inseperable. I knew she was "straight" so I didn't make any advances but she sure did!! She kept telling me how hot I was, she invited me to stay at her house that night(even made sure to mention I wouldn't be sleeping on the couch), and grabbed my hand to hold it to the next bar we walked to. As we sat there talking she grabbed my head and began making out with me. Wow! We walked back to her place and innocently kissed and fell asleep. She walked me to my final college class the next morning and we were glued to each other since that night. Our "relationship" grew over the next 9 months into something I saw as perfect, one of a kind, unique, and new. She told me she felt the same way. She had never felt so real before and that this was truly the relationship she always dreamed of and I was the person she always dreamed for. I was "the one". The sex was aweesome(in my opinion), and she would tell me how she couldn't wait to spend her life with me, have babies with me, and how truly amazing I treated her. So things are rolling just like they had been when suddenly she tells me, "I don't know about us anymore. I'm so confused and I'm just not sure what our future holds." I let her think for a week and hope she is just saying crazy things and we can make it better. We have a PHENOMENAL weekend but things seem distant still as the week comes. I ask if things have gone back to normal and if she still believes I'm the one and what we have is unique and one of a kind. She doesn't reply. I ask if she wants to break up. Her response, "No! I mean.....I don't know". That kind of said it all. So we hung up after that and she didn't contact me for an entire fucking week!! Blindsided by this breakup, everything seemed perfec for 9 months, then she gets confused and ends it. We finally talk after a week of not taking and she was supposidely so sad and miserable over the situation. After giving me BS reasons that we broke up for 30 minutes, she finally "got honest" with me and let me know that she loved me as a friend and as a person but got that confused with being in love and that she tried to convince herself that she was "in love" but that she doesn't think she is. She could never see a future with me she said. AKA she isn't gay/can't be with a girl! Talk about a fucking slap in the fucking face. It's the closure I needed but now I'm just pissed that I was apart of her experiment that she likely knew the results of early after we met but didn't let me know till now. Plus for her to pretend she was in love with me and wanted a future with me is BS. She isn't the first "straight" girl to do this to me but she is the first to let it last 9 months. She wants to be friends and will talk/text but I feel like it's not a good idea. I think any "pain" she felt is gone now and she is relieved and fine because she "cleared her conscious" and got honest. I don't think she has any pain over losing "us" or this "relationship" and that sucks because I thought it was something different for 9 months but I guess it was all a lie.

Perc3pti0n

March 28, 2012 @ (Australia)

Tags: (trust, love, friends, life)

Second year of high school we became friends. But he wasn't one of my usual friends, we would poke and push each other around playfully. We would compete over little things. Our friendship slowly grew, he didn't let anyone in easily. But even at that young age people always teased us about being together. Four years later he was my best friend and much more, we went out and it started off great. I was suffering from depression at the time and he got me help, he helped me through all of it. I felt safe with him. He didn't really have many close friends except me, i felt like his only one and i loved it. We would fight a lot but we always made it through. Then when high school finished we broke up, we had enough. I still wanted him but maybe only because i felt lonely. We were determined to stay friends. But as soon as he moved out of home and into the city he made his own friends and one night we found ourselves throwing abuse at each other, i missed him and i was angry that he was absent in my life. Anyway as i began to cry on the phone telling him how much i actually missed him, he began to laugh, saying he didn't need me, he didn't care. I can't even recognize him anymore.

Early in our relationship he said he would never break up with me. He said we would always be best friends. He seemed so great but in the end he turned out like every other selfish bastard. I've lost my trust in people, i hope one day i can regain it. More than anything though, i see how much he's enjoying life right now and how i'm not and its difficult to get through.

Serena

March 27, 2012 @ (Texas, California)

Tags: Long distance1, internet, dating, sad, breakup

Bitter sweet Internet love life

This is a true story about my own love life and how it started.. and sadly ended

-----------FlashBack-----------
I looked to my right and then to my left, I saw a guy with a cat head on? He seemed pretty interesting, but being the random person I was I walked up to him and said "Hai how's life?", "It's awesome right now" I giggled, "So what's your name?" the crowd around him answered "--------" I didn't even notice they were there and made me jump out of my skin!
------End of Flashback------
The day we first met was a memory turning hazy, but I never knew he would become my best friend. At the time I first met him I was a 1st year in middle school and was pretty dumb, but I didn't care as long as I was having fun at school, I was the type of person who could make anyone smile! I didn't take anything seriously at the time as in friendships, and relationships, I was all about living for the moment and always acting silly, but that would eventually change. Jerome was a well known person, I'm pretty sure he had more friends then I would ever have in my school years, but he was funny and also serious, he always put his friends as his number one priority and that's what I liked about him! I started talking to "------" everyday, and I would always learn something new about him, my friendly feelings eventually turned into love. One day my friend Christopher and I had started talking about the most random topics and I saw "-----" walk over to me and sit close to like he always did , I told Chris, "HEY CHRISTOPHER, are you going to pay for our wedding!" I realized what I had just said and started to blush, "but I have to pay for mine first!" he whined , ever since that day "------" and I became girlfriend and boyfriend, we exchanged numbers and the first thing he said was, "YES, I can prank call you now!" "Oh shush and text me cause I have to go, BAI "------" I LOVE YOUH!<3" "Love you too!<3" After that he imminently texted me, he made me feel special inside like I was the only girl he could have, I guess he had me falling head over heels for them, but things change... The day of my birth was coming up and I was so excited on what he would get me!! It could be anything I ever dreamed of. It finally came and what I got was a diamond ring as in an engagement ring!! He purposed to me after just one month and I felt so happy!! But after that my life would change forever... It was Friday may 20th that I received a text saying he had asked a girl out and she said yes. I wasn't happy about it, but I tried to act happy, but failed miserably. Inside I felt real jealous even though this relationship was just over the Internet I couldn't help but feel a little ache in my heart. As the weeks had gone by we started texting less as he distanced himself from me, but then his friend had died one day and that made the distance seem even longer, as he was always busy helping out others, even though I was a priority I felt like an option which hurt me the most... as a result I... cheated on him, I cheated on him because I wanted him to feel what I felt when he told me he had a girlfriend, that was The lowest point I had ever gone to in a relationship, and I felt empty inside. I told "------" all about "Joey" (a.k.a moo moo) at first he seemed completely fine with it but as I told him more, we had arguments that were pointless, he eventually found out that moo moo wasn't in real life but was on the Internet, I made a fatal mistake of hanging out with "Joey" that day as he gave me a '<3' sign right in front of "------" After that day "------" no longer talked to me, he ignored me, and all their was left was for "Joey" to fill the void I had in my heart. After a successful relationship "Joey" finally ended it, saying we were going to fast... I no longer had anyone to cover up the sadness that they left me, and started to cry everyday waiting for them to come back to me. I became obsessed and eventually had thoughts of suicide, but I never did have the courage to cut into my arm. In my mind I knew no one would want me anymore from the terrible thing I've done to "------", and decided to never love again. All I ever wanted was Jerome's attention and acceptance, I had eventually got it but lost it so easily.

"Yes, this whole relationship thing was over the Internet, but it didn't matter to me because I felt so close to him that even distance couldn't tear me apart from him, I know it was naive of me to think it would last even though I cheated on him, I still hoped the relationship would still make it through"

Jenna

March 15, 2012 @ (philly, pa)

Tags: vday breakup

Its valentines night, and this site seems to be an awesome outlet, so here's my story.. Boyfriend of 8 mos and I had a mutual breakup on new years day. I instantly regretted it and wanted him back. I was depressed for 2 weeks while we tried to maintain a friendship. I then found out he felt the same way I had about the breakup, but I was slightly hesitant in getting back together because his actions just weren't matching his words.. For a whole month now he's been fucking around with my feelings telling me he wants to get back and still loves me but then forgetting to call or blowing me off. Its emotional torture hoping for something that continuously disappoints you. He finally ended that cycle last night telling me he can't give me what I need and that its over, BUT that he still hoped to get back together someday and grow old with me..this was a man I'd been best friends with for years, and who had at one time treated me like gold. I didn't hear from him today at all, and like a fool I waited to. I know its over and will never be, today was my last disappointment from him..happy freakin vday.

Xena

January 25, 2012 @ (south austalia)

Tags: cute, boys

Once i was seeing this guy. he was such a sweetheart, nice, caring, cute, handsome. just everything i wanted. we got along really well we texted &talked everynight we seen eachother almost everyday things were going so well it was like id known him for years. we kissed a couple times and everything was perfect until i found i he had been playing me and had a girlfriend halway through the thing we had.

so a couple months later i was talking to this guy. he was funny and we had some common stuff and alot of mutal friends. He came around mine for 10 minutes with a mate as she needed to get something and me and him spoke for abit. we started talking alot, and then we got really close me and him had a few hookups and then i found out he was the bestfriend of the guy i had last seen i didnt know what to do but i kept seeing him anyway. the guy i seen before him texted me calling me a player. and saying ohh get in their with my bestfriend and then abusive ones again. so i havent seen his friend in awhile nor him. it really hurts knowing theres guys out there like that. disrespectful, and just hurts girls for a living. i really do hope that i see his friend again as we got really close.

Jess

January 16, 2012 @ (Australia)

Tags: phone, crazy

Me and this guy weren't exactly dating but I had to break up with him anyway. I met a guy and gave him my number. I then accidently left my phone at my friends house. My phone was there a few days. I thought I would just explain it to him, if he called or messaged me. I got my phone back and it happened to be my birthday. There were a bunch of msgs beforehand. These are the text messages that followed.
Him: Did you have some company last night? I cant be with someone who is going to play around. Not having it. So please explain....(separate msg)I thought u were different, obviously I am wrong again.
Me: I left my phone at a mate's house and got it about 12 last night. I didnt think it would have been nice of me to msg u then. But thanks, this is exactly what I wanted to wake up to on my birthday. By the way, my friend told me his dad had cancer thus why things have been hard for me to get my phone.
Him: Ok then just wanted to know. Happy birthday hunny, hope you have a great day and I hope I cans ee u soon xoxo
Me: Why the hell would u assume I had company? Why would u assume the worse of someone u barely know? I'm not your GF. My mother doesnt even speak to me like that. Why dont u explain?
Him: I know your not my gf. Ur friend texted me back off your phone (my friend had told him to stop calling because I didnt have my phone). And he said he couldn't tell me his name. If you want me to go I will.
Me: Why would my friend need to tell you his name? Why would his name matter? If u wanted an explanation you should have asked nicely. If something like this sets u off into insulting me, its really not gonna work out ever.
Him: Ok all the best...(again new message)...Ur a quitter. You'll be a lonely old woman. It sounds like you'll get what you deserve so good luck with someone that'll put up with that...Quitter....So u quit an arguement. lmfao...Its just an excuse so u can flirt with guys tonight on your birthday...classy whose place are you gonna leave your phone at this time. lmfao...get f***ed.

Anony-mous

January 09, 2012 @ (la)

Tags: trust, heartbreak

i've been with a girl for about 1.5 years. i met her in nyc. i'm originally from the west coast, but i moved to the city 2 years ago. anyway, throughout our entire time together, it felt like a never-ending "honeymoon phase". we were passionately in love with each other, and extremely affectionate. i moved in with her a year ago because i lost my job. she was kind enough to open her home to me. she's been nothing but amazing. her family loves me. she loves me. we had plans for the future, even plans of marriage.

though, at this moment, i am currently in la (for a short vacation) and she's in nyc. she broke up with me on the phone this morning because i'm too insecure. i have trust issues (that i am working on) and she's just tired. she's giving up on this relationship because she's tired of my lack of trust. that, i understand. but i'm confused because it was so sudden.

i think it's serious this time. we had a joint bank account for our apartment savings, and she removed her share of the money. now it's almost half-empty.

but, i'm flying back to nyc tomorrow morning. i thought about not flying back at all to avoid seeing her (just because it will be too hard), but i can't not show up for work. i at least have to put in my two weeks and get the rest of my stuff at her place. i also have unfinished business in nyc that can't be left neglected.
i also need more closure than this. i've been crying constantly all day. i've been going into my car and crying hysterically so no one would hear me. i am going through so much pain because i'm starting to believe that this is really IT. she's been the most amazing girlfriend to me, so supportive, faithful, genuine, and perfect. her imperfections are perfect to me.
i hope this was out of anger. and that she didn't mean it. otherwise, i'm on a one-way flight back to los angeles with a broken heart and a broken dream.

Jolene

January 02, 2012 @ (Aus)

Tags: 1

We weren't together long, probably only over a month and the relationship felt kind of rushed, as if everything just went way too fast. It isn't as if I regret anything about the relationship as it happened, I just think it would've turned out better if it didn't go so fast.
Anyway, all of a sudden when the holidays began we saw each other less and less. I was told that he was working too much and he was too tired to see me. When I asked about our lack of communication he said that he was just too tired and that I never really talked to him. It was frustrating and despairingly I attempted a sort of silent approach interspersed with periods of strained conversation (not face to face). I have no idea how any of this was supposed to help and so I just left it. He didn't 'have time' to see me...okay, then I'll just go on and assume that he's just not interested anymore.
So basically my breakup was a prolonged period of confusion in which the dumper let me work it out for myself that we were no longer together. Whether this method of indirect break up was an act of cowardice, laziness or (seriously misguided) kindness I don't know. We still talk occasionally through social networks and such and are supposedly 'friends' in a weird way that feels like nothing meaningful. I don't feel any resentment towards him (or try not to) because this stuff happens and people lose interest. Except I hope that when it does happen most people explain this to the persons' face and don't let them painstakingly figure it out for themselves.