Searching for "else"

145 Results For 'else'

Jennifer

January 31, 2013 @ (United States)

Tags: (gay, boyfriend, bestfriend, mutual)

My name is Jennifer and I am 18 years old. About a year a go, my best friend of 2 years finally asked me out and I couldn't have been happier. We spend an amazing 9 months together until something happened in November. We were having a bit of a hiccup in our relationship. Just a little lack of communication but nothing big. I told him we needed to talk things out, so we went out for coffee the morning of the 27th.
That's when he dumped me hard, saying that he just didn't like me anymore, and had no feelings for me. It was completely out of the blue. I was distraught for about 2 weeks until he finally told me he was gay. I felt horrible, that I might have done something to cause it, or I made him turn gay. But he assured me that it was always a thought in his head but never wanted to tell me to spare my feelings.
I'll admit- things were awkward for a week or two but then we immediately returned to being best friends, and we were inseparable again. I also started hanging out with our other mutual friend, he was funny and smart and we really got along well.
Well about 2 weeks ago our mutual friend decided to tell me he was gay. I began to panic, thinking that something was up, but my ex was very consoling to say that everything was fine and there was nothing between the two of them- they were just friends and got along well because they had enough in common.
Easy enough right? Well wrong. The mutual friend let the cat out of the bag that he and my ex-boyfriend started dating a month after he dumped me.
So I was not only dumped for someone else, it was for our mutual best friend... who was a guy.
And now I'm not speaking to either of them because I feel betrayed that they would go behind my back like that. I told them everything and they kept that huge secret from me for about 3 months.
Anyone know what to do?
-Jennifer

Nan El

January 01, 2013 @ (New York)

Tags: Cheating with co-worker, 3 years of lies

Over three years ago I started dating a man that was selfish, a cheater, a liar and just plain self centered. He admitted this to me. I was hesitant at first but it didn't take long for him to have me believing that he wanted to be a better man for me. We worked together for years and once he transferred to another department, that's when we started dating. He asked me to marry him after just a few months and treated me as if I was the only woman on earth. We spent constant time together and he would look me in the eyes everyday and tell me how much he loves and adores me and wants to be with only me the rest of his life. I introduced him to my kids and he moved in with us shortly thereafter. He lived with us for one year and during that time he started drifting, working more...going out longer with his friends. He started telling me he was having a hard time living with kids (who I only have half the week) and he only saw them maybe twice a week. He told me he couldn't live with us anymore and it just wasn't "him". The day after he moved out he was begging for me back and this went on and off for a year and a half. We broke up last December of 2011 because he couldn't handle things...all while still claiming to love me and not want anyone else. For about 6 weeks we went back and forth about our love for each other then he said he needs me and promises to be the man II need. I took him back and we were together up until October of this past year 2012....still back and forth with his feelings...but kept promising to marry me and move back in. I broke up with him in October when he told me he couldn't take vacation to Disney World with me and the kids which was planned and paid for and was happening in 3 weeks!! He continued to text and call me crying that he needs me, etc... But his gram was sick and he didn't want to go anywhere. He made me feel guilty for taking vacation without him! When I returned right after Thanksgiving, I started finding out some things from people and emails, etc.. He started sleeping with one of my employees last year when we broke up...she works very closely with me. They broke up when he got back together with me...but then he contacted her to "get together" in April, May and November. We went to a concert together in June and they acted like they didn't even know each other then went to get beer for 20 minutes together! At that point I had no reason to think anything of it. Once I confronted both of them, they denied even knowing each other and called me crazy. She ultimately confessed but they are both still claiming it wasn't all year long. She has had boyfriends this whole time as well. I am now in a situation where they both still work for the company and she still reports to me. They act as if nothing is wrong and life is good....they show no remorse. By the way, she is 12 years younger than him! I have so much pain and it is in my face everyday. How do I get over it?

Nikki

December 23, 2012 @ (Cambridge, MA)

Tags: Coward

T got depressed in October & wouldn't see me for six weeks. My father died Nov 6th. Nov 14th was my birthday. 1 1/2 weeks later, T disappeared without explanation, not answering my calls & messages. I was depressed after my father's death, I'm very insecure, and I'm used to the people I care about disappearing. Due to these factors, I interpreted T's absence as he didn't want to talk to me. After about 10 days, I finally sent T a text asking why he wasn't answering my messages, that he said he cared about me, & I missed our conversations. The next day, T answered that he'd been away without a phone signal. He said no one else was upset by his absence (no one else was used to daily contact with him!), and that he was uncomfortable that I'd assume something negative about him. I explained about my depression & insecurity. T said he understood, that he wasn't upset. He wrote a bit about his Thanksgiving, sent a joke, and then a smile when I joked in reply. I thought everything was OK. But then I didn't hear from T again. I wondered if T had gone away again. I was also worried~ I didn't know if he was dead or alive. After about a week, I went to T's place, and was shocked to find that he was at home. I suddenly realized that I'd been left for no reason, and that T didn't even tell me, had in fact led me to believe that everything was all right between us. I rang the bell. T wouldn't come down. I rang the bell for a while, and T called the police! Not only was T not man enough to come down and tell me what was going on, but he wouldn't even tell me that he didn't want to talk to me. T said that he had very strong feelings for me, that he loved me. He said we were friends, and our friendship was the most important thing. T had also told me that he'd never forget how I was there for him when his father died. He dumped me 2 1/2 weeks after my father's death! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXi2vHrT-kU&list=HL1356282746

Ariana

November 05, 2012 @ (Brooklyn)

Tags: @neveragain

I couldn’t possibly say all the things I wanted to say off the top of my head to you in person so I wrote them down. There are no words to describe how incredibly disappointed and betrayed I feel by you. For once in my life I am able to say that this situation deems me being entirely selfish and not think about anyone else for a chance. Meaning that I really do not care about your feelings or whatever friendship you think you can offer me after this.
You said you were my friend, you said that I was a special person and that you would never want to lose me as a friend. Where was that feeling when you decided to start dating a mutual friend? Someone I considered living with? Someone I would have to constantly see you with in our when our friends hang out? In the library? Where were those morals you held me so high to? You flipped out enough to make me feel like shit when I started dating someone new when we broke up and he wasn't even your friend! The amount of shit that I have put up with because of you is enough to leave me scarred for life. You have hurt me so many times that I’ve stopped counting. There were nights when I lived with my mom that my grandmother heard me crying after an argument with you. I lost all shame when I was with you. But that was not the only thing I lost. I lost trust in other men, I lost self-value, I lost my morale as a woman. Slowly but surely you killed so much in me. But that is not why I am upset or angry with you because I had let that all go. I am mad at you because you tricked me into believing you cared about me and that we were real friends. You lied to me and completely disrespected me and insulted me as a woman. You even threw a jealous temper tantrum after my birthday! You had already started dating her! how dare you?? I thought that if there was anything that we got out of our disfunctional f*cked up relationship was your evolution from a dirtbag who hates women to an actual caring human being. It killed me to see you so hurt and angry at women. Because I thought that in using them like you did, you were just hurting yourself. But I was wrong. You will not change and you live your life to hurt the women around you, to walk around thinking first of your dick rather than your heart. Or even less, hers. I am not your friend, because you do not consider me your friend. I am just former property that you want to keep tabs on. It is sad that I lost who I thought was a friend, but it is even sadder because you lost a genuine friend due to selfishness, arrogance and stupidity. I want to forgive you but I am so hurt and angry right now that I can’t, you don’t deserve it.

Dislike Chandra

November 05, 2012 @ (Duluth, MN)

Tags: Break up story

When you told me you had found someone, I was worried. I thought there wasn’t possibly a way you cheated on me because I knew you. I trusted you. You weren’t that person. You said you hadn’t started dating her yet and that you were “just friends” but that you’d spent the night at her apartment on her couch a few times, that you’d gone out for drinks, etc. I digested this news. You had found someone else. I begged, I cried, I starved myself for several weeks – because I couldn’t understand how you, someone who I thought to be a good person, could have cheated on me.

I read her Facebook updates and it appeared that you had been dating since April, going on little vacation trips together, meeting her family, etc., all the while you were still dating me. You used my car to visit her, to bring her to work, and to take trips out in the country with her. When I was extremely ill, you claimed you were at a cabin with your parents and elderly grandmother, so I would have to take an ambulance. Turns out you were with her in the country, with my car.

You didn’t even come clean with me, I had asked for honesty. Please just tell me how long you’d been dating, what had gone on behind my back, etc. I felt made a fool of and humiliated. I was embarrassed that I defended you when you were “at a friends house” (turns out you were spending the night with her), or when you were hours late coming home from work, I figured you stopped to hang out with a friend – turns out I was completely over-trusting.

When I found out the truths splattered all over her Facebook, knowing that she had been married and her ex-husband had cheated on her and caused the end of the marriage less than a year before you two started dating, I was angry. How can another woman agree to date a man and put another lady in the same position she herself was in? She knew how this kind of betrayal hurt.

There was a time after the cheating when you made me feel like the cheating was entirely my fault and that if I tried to change some things about my behaviors and my income situation, you’d still date me. You claimed you wanted to be friends. You cried like a baby several times. You insisted that you didn’t hate me.

I moved out. We broke up. Things were spiraling out of control – and there you were being cruel to me any chance you got. I ran into you and your new “fiancé” (you got engaged after four months of dating, all of which were done when you were cheating on me, really), and instead of showing some respect for me being in the same vicinity as you two – you made out the entire night for hours on end in front of my friends and me! Talk about disrespectful.

You couldn’t understand what caused me to hate you. You couldn’t understand what caused me to hate her? You wanted me to play nicely and be kind. I’ve moved on with my life, I’ve met someone I can trust and depend on. We bonded over the horrible things you did to me, how low you were as a person, and we laugh at you. I’m glad we’re able to be together – but I’m still angry at you for NOT apologizing for the kinds of cruel things you did to me.

I’d be ashamed for your mother and father that they raised such a horrific human. You lied to your parents while you were cheating, you didn’t even invite them to your wedding – because you’ve changed. You’ve become the most evil person I’ve ever known, and it’s sad – because you use to be a good person.

I’d like to say I wish you health and happiness, but I wish almost every ill the world can throw at you. Every impossible situation where you’ll find pain, I wish that for you. I hope one day karma throws you several things at one time and you can feel what it feels like to not have a choice in a situation, to be made a fool of, and to hurt.

I know in my heart, you will cheat on her. Once she doesn’t pay enough attention to you. Once she gets too busy working and being a mother, she’ll forget to give you the insane amount of attention you require and you’ll do horrible things to her like you’ve done to me. The only difference is, she’ll deserve it.

Left To Live

October 30, 2012 @ (ESTONIA)

Tags: BROKE

I broke up one month ago- to be exact on My Birthday.
I was in relationship with this girl for around 4 yr..Did everything for her never cheated on her, neither betrayed her or said any lies to her..but always use to bring her Past whenevr I find her mingling with other guys. She had few things of her past which were not told to me and when i came to knew I lost all trust. Though blinded in love I tried to build up my trust again and she did everything she could to make me trust her but at last she ended up making some mistakes which would make me angry. Now Everytime I caught her lying I would abuse her and will bring the Past. She used to apoloige and I used to forgive but couldnt forget her lies. Later For my job I was required to move to other city for six month. I had trust that after 4 yr she will nt betray me but for my faith I kept a check on her mobile sms and FB. and one fine day when i found a colleague of her flirting with her on FB i blasted her again. and this time abused her too..She with broken heart told to discontinue this relation as she cant take any more..Feeling guilty of my behaviour I went to apologize her. Promised not to spy her again but she was done makin me believe. Still I felt she will come back as we have been fr 4 years and its not easy to move on and she can forgive me once and give me a first n last chance to improve myself. Only the next day I found her to be roaming with the guy who ws flirting with her..Got to know that he proposed her 2 month back and she rejected but kept her contact. Now got the real story Abuse ws just a cover up. She ws bored of me and cant live with me out of the town. Learning all this I was just shattered that the girl for whom I did everything fr last 4 years could cheat me like this. First thought Abuse was a big thing for girls. Yes it is but not big enough to be not forgiven once. Anyways If she would have loved me once in 4 yr she would have taken few days off after my break up but she is with her life again enjoying with other guy. I just wish i would not have forgiven her and would have walked off the first time she broke my trust..damn i carried for three years. But at the end I believe she will get back what she has given. A palace built on someone else grave is bound to be haunted in time to come

Farrah

September 23, 2012 @ (CA)

Tags: breakup

FROM MY DIARY: MY BOYFRIEND, THE ADDICT

I need to laugh right now, even though I feel like crying. You see, the man I love is an addict. Piece by piece, he’s breaking my heart. I think this might be over.

For the time being, though, I figure laughter is the best medicine. So I’m trying to focus on the crazy man outside with the abrasive voice, yelling on the phone in a language I can’t understand. At the same time, I’m reading these break-up stories on an online support group for damaged relationships, wondering how on earth I got here.

I’m trying to remember the things I'm grateful for, which is hard to do in a time like this. My therapist tells me to do this when I feel down. It helps me shift into a more positive mindset. I need to look at the things I DO have in my life and stop focusing on what I've lost - because I can’t stop thinking about Ryan* and about how much I miss the person he used to be.

I feel like I lost him even before the new girl "friend" came along. However, I know she’s only a piece of this crazy puzzle. The old Ryan would never have hurt me that way. He never would’ve lied to me about seeing her. He never would’ve blamed me for his own mistakes.

For the past couple months, I’ve had that gut instinct, telling me something wasn’t right. I could already feel him starting to slip away, and I keep remembering the person who once loved and adored me, and who thought I was beautiful and amazing. I miss the way he used to hold me, kiss me, talk to me for hours. He said he wanted to be with me forever, and I wanted his face to be the first thing I saw each morning, every day for the rest of my life. I never told him that – but I felt it in my heart. He inspired me to be a better person. I miss that man.

When I met him over a year ago, he’d first gotten sober. Gradually, he changed into a brand new person. A light appeared in his eyes; he was truly happy. He went to AA, got a sponsor, and was taking steps toward a brighter future. What went wrong?

It hurts so badly to watch him change. I watch as he stumbles through the darkness of his addiction, sloppy step-by-step, and I can’t do a thing. The pain cuts like a knife, but I’m trying not to feel it. I’m trying to be strong. I don't even know him anymore. He can't see the way he hurts me. While he's this way, he can't see anything else. He’s locked in the grip of denial – in a world that is cold and black. Until he wants help, he won’t get better, and right now he doesn’t believe anything is wrong.

I can't go on this way with him. I love him more than words can say, but I have to love myself enough as well.

I have to realize that the person I'm leaving behind isn’t the man I fell in love with. Instead, he’s a stranger, and all I have are memories of someone I once loved with all my heart.

I watch him wrestle within his own skin, and wallowing in the pits of self-imposed misery. He can't even see what this does to me. He'll only get better when the pain of staying the same outweighs his fear of change.

Unless he’s willing to be honest with himself, he’ll never change, and things between us will continue to deteriorate.

As long as he’s in this mode, he’s capable of anything. He expects my trust without being trustworthy. He expects results and rewards without doing anything to earn them. It isn’t realistic, but he can’t see that now – not the way the old Ryan would. I guess it’s impossible to see the entire picture while you’re standing in it.

A part of me still believes in him. He pushed through this before, and he became an amazing person because of it. It's hard to watch something so beautiful waste away before your eyes. It’s even harder to walk away.

Whatever happens, I do believe that everything happens for a reason - even if I can't see what that is right now. One day, maybe I'll understand. And one day - just maybe - the man I love will come back to me.

Kim

September 20, 2012 @ (BLOCKED)

Tags: (BLOCKED)

I was with the guy named, Don H. We met the first week Don moved into our neighborhood in (BLOCKED). I was 25. We dated off and on for about a year and a half. He denies that he was seeing anyone else but, I know he was sleeping with at least one other neighbor. We had great times together. He was always partying. He was always throwing parties and barbeques and stuff. He worked a lot at his brokerage but I think he was lying. I think he was sleeping with his admin. I met her she was maybe 20. He was always out on the boat but I never went with him. Kidding me!? In the end I knew he was cheating. So obvious. So, I confronted him about what I thought was going on. He invited me over and we had a great time. He actually told me he missed the memo we were exclusive. We had some drinks by the pool. It was a beautiful night. We had sex outside. Then again in the shower. Then again upstairs in his room for half the night. When I woke-up he was already dressed. Tying his tie. Hot. He left a note on a Post-It Said we were done. Are you f-ing kidding me!? A Post-It! My God who does that?

Mariah

September 13, 2012 @ (New York)

Tags: heart ache, mistake

It first started as a lust; something I never saw going anywhere nor did I want it to. We met at my place of work, and considering that it's my job to turn men on, I did just that. Not expecting that I'd actually be turned on by him.
We exchanged numbers and I told myself, he was just a client and us spending time together would be strictly professional. With each visit he showed more interest in me, and I continued to play my role as a girl that was into him. However once we became intimate I noticed a change, at least I thought I did. He stopped coming to see me at work and slowly I found myself getting upset and feeling used. Now suddenly I was the one who had feelings.
I swear I didn't see it coming, and I thought to myself, "its just hurt pride, it'll pass". Before I knew it he payed little to no attention to me at all and I began to feel jealous and hurt. I expressed my feelings and he continued to do as he pleased. He knew I hated him coming by and so, he started to come by even more, claiming that although it was hurting me, he wasn't doing it to hurt me...

I think the big slap for me was when he came to my job on my birthday, and didn't want to spend time with me. In addition, his friends would snicker and laugh when they'd see me. I grew so furious I had them all kicked out, and once I got home, I cried. I cried a lot and for days.

I tried my hardest to shake what felt like hurt feelings I shouldn't be having. I reminded myself where I met him and told myself that chances are, I'm not the first girl he's done this to.
Then I told myself, well maybe its my fault. I brushed him off so much in the beginning, that when it got dished back to me, I didn't like it.

I honestly don't know what happened and I still don't understand it. It's been 5 months and every time I think about how he would come to my job to spend time with someone else, it burns me deep down. To watch him lust after someone else, then act as if I wasn't there...it's still so painful to think about.

We were speaking as friends for a while up until recently, but I noticed that the only person who has ever made any initiative to keep in touch, is me. He makes no effort to speak to me if I do not speak first, and so, I've given up on the idea of us being friends. I've erased all his numbers and tried my hardest not to think about him.

I really stuck my foot in my mouth. There are times when I've wanted him back, and there are times when I wish we'd never met. In fact, most times I wish that.

Confused Again..

July 28, 2012 @ (wv)

Tags: cheating, confused

Well, followed some advice from my last post on here, telling me to move on from my ex. I finally started dating someone else, only for her to try to push th relationship far too quickly. So that ended poorly. After a week after we broke up i decided to give her another chance, this time in a matter of a month she started cheating on me. So now i'm wary as to even date anyone anymore. Any advice from anyone on getting back up on my feet for a third time? Btw, it's not easy for me to find a girl that is willing to date me because, according to some, i'm too "nice" of a person...